TW: SEXUAL ASSAULT; this chapter can be triggering so please skip the italicized writing if you are not comfortable reading about the topic.
-Emilia-
*4 years ago*
I turned off my light and pulled my covers back as I slipped under the sheets. My body was completely drained of it's energy due to today's events. School was absolutely tiring enough as it is but on top of that, I had to give up the rest of my hours babysitting for the O'Briens to help pitch in for the bills so we don't risk losing our apartment. It barely leaves me enough time to do my homework and study for my classes, most of which I'm failing.
I hated that I had to be the responsible one between my mother and I. She's supposed to be the parent, not me but that's just the way it's always been. I've practically been taking care of myself and her ever since I was little.
My mother doesn't live up to her title. Mother's are supposed to be there for their child. They're supposed to love and nurture them but not my mother. She loves her alcohol and the new men she brings around the house.
My mother loves all things in this world that aren't named Emilia Harris. As far as I'm concerned, she's just a stranger that I grew up referring to as 'mom'.
My bedroom door cracked open, the darkness of the hallway not allowing me to see who had walked in. The door shut behind the dark silhouette, footsteps making their way closer towards my bed. I felt the side of my bed dip as the unknown figure sat down.
I cracked open my eyes, looking for some source of light and I could smell the scent of whiskey on their breath as they leaned in close.
I opened my mouth to speak and I felt a rough hand grip my thigh as the other slid down my stomach, moving their hand inside of my pajama shorts.
"You are such a tease Emilia. It's almost like you wore these pajama bottoms just for me." My heart sunk into the pit of the churning sensation that was happening in my stomach at the voice of Rick, my mother's boyfriend.
"Stop it! Get off of me!" I yelled, pushing against what I could feel as his arm and chest to get him out of my reach.
"Quit yelling. You're going to wake your mother." He growled at me, placing his hand over my mouth as he muffled my cries for help. I cried, my cheeks burning with tears as I squirmed under him. I scratched and clawed at everything that was in my reach and he grabbed my wrists, holding them above my head.
I yelled for a fraction of the moment that he released my mouth before he placed his lips against mine and started unbuttoning his pajama pants as his body hovered over me. I did my best to push against him but the harder I pushed, the more it pulled him in.
I whined through my muffled sobs as he gripped my thigh in his free hand, pulling my legs apart. I could see his blonde hair and azure blue eyes from the moonlight that lit up his face at this angle and it only made me cry harder.
He had my body completely pinned down underneath his masculine frame. I wanted to give up. I couldn't fight him off, it was pointless. He was stronger than I was.
His mouth moved messily against mine, his tongue slipping in between my pressed lips and I opened my mouth, letting out a loud yell for help through my sobs.
"Mom!" I shouted through my tears, begging for her to walk in and save me. "Mommy pl-" His hand found it's way back over my mouth as he quieted my screams, his blue eyes burning into mine.
"Shut the fuck up!" He growled, grabbing my wrist tighter as he pushed my body deeper into the bed. I drove my leg up, hitting him in the groin and he groaned, releasing my wrists right as soon as my door pushed open.
The light to my bedroom flicked on, revealing my mother standing there with tired, squinted eyes as she frustratedly pulled her red robe together, tucking her hands under the pit of her arms.
"Emilia Harris, what the hell are you screaming about? It is the middle of the night." She spat at me, her eyes flickering between Rick and I as a line pulled between her brows.
I got out of the bed, rushing over towards her side of the room as I tried to get away from Rick who was laying down in my bed. I wrapped my arms around her as I cried, burying my face in the crook of her neck.
"Why on earth are you crying?" She asked, pulling me off of her as she looked up at me with confusion. I looked back at Rick who was still holding his groin as he pretended to play victim in this situation.
"He touched me mom!" I cried out and he shot up from the bed, his eyes widening in fury as he glared at me.
"Rick, is this true?" My mother asked, looking at him with hurt in her eyes as she held me in her arms, rubbing soothing circles around my back as she stared at him.
"See this is why I don't like her Jane! Your fucking daughter is a liar! I didn't even touch her! I came in here, thinking that it was the bathroom and she practically threw herself all over me. I tried to tell her to stop but she wouldn't listen." He yelled defensively, my heart sinking into the pit of my stomach at his words. I pulled away as I looked back and forth between him and my mother.
"That's not true mom! He's lying!" I cried, looking at the disappointment in her eyes as she stared at me. A painful feeling clouded my heart as she looked at me like she believed him more than she did me.
"You know what, I'm fucking done Jane. You and your whore of a daughter can stay here by yourselves because we're over!" He shouted, running his hand through his hair as he started to head for my bedroom door.
"Rick wait! Please don't go!" She said, letting go of me as she caught him by his hand. He shrugged himself off of her before turning to look at the tears on her face.
"If you think that I would do something like that to your own daughter, then you're fucking sick in the head." He spat at her, pointing his finger at me angrily and it only made me cry even harder.
"Please don't go. I love you just please don't leave me." She begged, holding onto him like her life depended on it as she placed kisses all over him, groping him right in front of me.
"Baby please don't go, I love you." She whispered, running her hands all over his bare chest. I stood there, feeling absolutely nauseated at the realization that my mother was choosing him over me. I felt sick to my stomach as he stared at me while she kissed his lips, trying to coerce him into staying.
"Control your fucking whore of a daughter or we're done!" He growled, grabbing her by her face as he clenched his jaw furiously. I watched his blue eyes burn into her gaze as his fingers pressed deeply into her cheeks. She cried out, tears streaming down her face as he shook her angrily.
I watched the tears fall from her eyes as he gripped her face harder. I hated myself for caring so much. I couldn't just stand by and watch. He was hurting her.
"Stop it! Get off of her!" I yelled, walking towards her as I tried to push him off of her and I felt a hard slap land on my face as my head shifted to the side. More tears left my eyes as I found a new pain to focus on and I looked up shakily to see that it was my mother who had slapped me.
"Get the fuck out my house!" She yelled at me, anger inside of her voice and my heart shattered into tiny pieces as I looked at the hatred in her eyes.
"M-mom-"
"You're a slut! You always find a way to ruin everything good in my life. Why don't you go find your own boyfriend to whore around with? Hm?!" She seethed, her breathing shaking as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
"You've been nothing but a pain and a burden since you were born! Sometimes I wish I never even had you. Sometimes, I wish that your father would have taken you with him when he left!" she shouted at me, each of her words hurting me deeply as she got in my face.
"You don't m-mean that." I cried, hoping she was just in a blind rage but based off of the look in her eyes, I was wrong. I was wrong and she had meant every last word.
"I regret ever having you! You were a mistake!" She raged, opening and slamming my drawers as she started tossing my clothes out into the hallway.
"I want you out of my house! I want you gone!" She yelled, shoving a bag into my hands with a painful force as I cried, watching her trash my room completely.
"Mommy please-"
"Get the fuck out!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, practically throwing a tantrum. I flinched at her tone, watching her point her finger angrily towards my door.
"Get out! Get out! Get out!" She shoved me out of my bedroom as Rick just stood by and watched the scene unravel. I broke down into tears, picking up as much clothes as I could as she rushed me down the hallway, pushing me towards the front door.
"I don't ever want to see your face again, do you hear me?! Go live with your father for all I care!" She said, a small amount of pity flashing in her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek before it faded into nothing as Rick placed his hand on her back, standing right behind her.
"I hate you." She spat before slamming the door directly in my face, kicking me out into nothing but the cold.
I shivered, the cool air from outside seeping through the window as we both just stared at each other. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I haven't seen my mother in four years, yet she looks exactly like how I remembered her.
She was the spitting image of me, except if I were more malnourished. There were also a few differences between us that I must have gotten from my father. The horn of the car behind us blared loudly, snapping us both out of our trance as I noticed that the light was green.
"Get in." I told her, hating that I was showing her enough kindness of keeping her out from the cold after she had done the opposite for me all those years ago.
She got in on the passenger side and picked up my bag as she set it down on the floor of the car. I glanced at her as I waited for her to close the door before I took off.
"Mom, what are you doing out on the streets?" I asked, breaking the silence between us as she reached her hand over and turned up the heater. I noticed that her whole body was shaking as she held her coat closer towards her.
"C-can we get somewhere warm? Like the coffee shop?" She insisted. She was lucky that we were on the west side of the city where the coffee shop was still open. The only other coffee shop that was relatively nearby was the one on the east side where I met Ryan but that one always closes earlier in the day for some reason.
We drove in silence for the remainder of the time until we made it to the coffee shop. I killed the engine, pulling my car keys out of the ignition before I grabbed my wallet. She got out of the car, wiping her red nose with the back of her trembling hand as she waited for me. Once I was out, she held open the coffee shop door for me, giving me a smile.
I pursed my lips, walking in before her as we entered the coffee bean and vanilla scented shop. It was only filled with a minimum of five people besides us-excluding the workers. She looked around the shop, walking towards an empty table that was pushed in the far back corner, away from everybody else.
We sat down, an awkward silence developing between the both of us as she just sat there, smiling at me. It was weird to see her sitting in front of me. It was weird to see her at all. The last memory I had of her was when she called me a mistake and left me to fend for myself.
"Bunny, you've gotten so big." She said, pursing her lips with a smile as she reached her trembling hand towards me, tucking my hair behind my ear. I pulled away from her, giving a tight lipped smile.
One thing that my mother had always called me ever since I was a baby was Bunny. I was always obsessed with bunny rabbits as a child. The obsession started with the stuffed bunny I always used to carry with me everywhere I went. Then from there, it took off until I finally outgrew it.
"What was that stuffed animal of yours named again?" She asked, pondering in thought for a moment.
"Mr. Bunsworth." We both replied at the same time, a smile making it's way onto her face but sadness only developed inside of me as I thought about when times were much simpler.
"I remember when you were just a little baby and I got you that stuffed animal. From the moment you laid your eyes on it, you never let it leave your side. Just like how you always used to stick by my side. It was so cute when you used to follow me everywhere. It was like I had a mini shadow." She said, softly laughing as she bit down on her thumbnail, her hands still shaking.
"You remember it as if it were some happy memory. I only followed you around because I was afraid I would find you choking on your own vomit from all the late nights you would blackout from drinking." I replied, my words coming out in a bitter tone.
A sadness sparkled within her eyes as she tucked her hair behind her ear, clearing her throat. Her eyes caught onto the waitress that had walked up next to us.
"We close in thirty minutes so I'd order something before it's too late." She reminded us and I nodded my head. "We'll just take two regular coffees." I replied, earning a nod from her as she walked away.
"And a blueberry muffin!" My mother called out, the waitress nodding before she walked off again. I looked back at my mother, watching her rip open sugar packets as she formed a small mound with the small, white grains.
"Do you think they have something a little stronger?" She laughed, bouncing her knee up and down as she continued to rip open the packets, adding more onto the mound that she was making. Her eyes flickered up to meet the weird look I was giving her and she set the packets down, clearing her throat.
"Bunny, I was just joking. I've gotten better, I promise." She said, reaching her hand over as she placed it on top of mine. I tensed, slowly pulling my hand away from her as I rest it in my lap.
"I am. I've-I've been working on getting sober. I'm two months clean now," She laughed, pride in her eyes that were filling with tears as she fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater.
"You act like I haven't been noticing you suffering from tremors ever since you got in the car so don't lie to my face and tell me that your sober when you're clearly not." I slightly grit out, my throat tightening up as I watched the heartbreak in her eyes.
I hated myself for caring so much because all I wanted to do was help her get better but the memories I had of her were built on the foundation of pain and it was making it so hard for me to do exactly that.
"It was-I j-just had a little sip baby, that's all. I just- I'm doing a lot better now." She said, fidgeting with her fingers and I released a small scoff. She was clearly going through withdrawals.
"Really? You're doing a lot better now? You're living on the streets mom, how is that better?" I asked, leaning forward as I slightly raised my voice. She closed her eyes, wiping a few tears away.
"What happened to you? You look even worse than you did before.." I asked, my eyes skimming up and down her body. She looked skinnier, as if she hadn't eaten in days and she was slightly more pale than her normal skin color. She had dark bags under her eyes as well, alongside a few bruises here and there.
She hesitated for a while, staring at the napkins in front of us, tearing a few pieces off as she sniffled. I seen a tear roll off her cheek as her lip quivered before she put on a smile.
"Rick he um..he..you know, casual Rick." She laughed, wiping the tears in her eyes and I felt my heart cloud with pain as I knew exactly what she meant by that.
"Oh mom," I said, getting up from my spot as I walked over towards her, giving her a hug as she cried into my shoulder. I pulled her close, running my hand up and down her back as I blinked back the tears in my eyes.
"Why haven't you left him yet? You know he's not good for you." I told her, thinking about the many times I would see him constantly show red flags whenever he came around the house.
"I did leave him. Two months ago, I ran away from the apartment because I couldn't take it anymore Bunny. It started getting worse every night. He would come home from work, get me to drink and then we would do..stuff...sometimes stuff I didn't want to do and then he would beat me." She cried and I broke down into tears as I held her tightly.
I hated that I understood her position perfectly, yet she was smarter than me. She actually had the guts to leave.
"Mom, I'm so sorry," I cried out, hugging her trembling body tightly and she pulled me away, wiping my tears as she shook her head at me.
"No, I'm sorry for not taking your side that day. I was selfish and scared of what he would do to me if I chose you over him. It was wrong of me Emilia. It was wrong of me to say those mean things to you because they weren't true. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me and I should've done a better job at parenting you." She sobbed, tears running down both of our faces and she pressed her forehead against mine.
"If I could go back to that day, I would take your side in a heart beat Bunny, I swear it to you. I would go back and take your side over all of the guys that I chose over you. I'm a shitty parent and I know that it's too late for me to make amends but please understand that I am sorry." Her words broke my spirit as I practically caved in. I held her in my arms as we both cried, feeling the most loved from my mother right now than I've ever felt since forever.
"I love you Bunny." She whispered as she ran her hand through my hair. Those words were foreign to my ears coming from her mouth. I hadn't heard them from her in so long that I had forgotten how genuine it sounded.
"I love you mom." I whispered back, pulling away as the lady came back with our drinks. She looked hesitant, as if she didn't want to invade our personal space and I quickly pulled away, wiping the tears from my eyes as I sat down on my chair.
She set our drinks and the muffin my mother had ordered down on the table and I gave her a small 'thank you' before she walked away. I watched as my mother immediately started eating as if she hadn't eaten in days. She took a huge gulp of her coffee and glanced back up at me as she froze.
She set down her mug, wiping her mouth off with the back of her sleeve as she cleared her throat, tucking her hair behind her ear.
"S-sorry...did you want some?" She asked, ripping off a piece as she handed it to me and I shook my head no, politely declining as I just continued to watch her eat with a small smile on my face.
Although it would take me a while to fully forgive my mother for all the things that she's done to me, I was glad to see that there was progress slowly being made between us.
She took another bite of her muffin and grabbed a napkin as she wiped off her hands. She smiled at me, her smile slowly falling as her eyes seemed trained on what was behind me and I noticed the fear in her eyes as she began to shake even more. Her hand trembled as she continued to stare behind me and it was starting to make me worried.
"Are you okay?" I asked, reaching over for her hand and her eyes snapped back to me and she smiled, her body easing as she stopped trembling. She nodded her head but there were tears in her eyes. I frowned, looking behind me but there was nothing there.
"I've never been better." She replied, grabbing my hand as she cupped it in between both of hers. I smiled, finding it a bit odd but I decided to shrug it off. She just stared at me, her eyes scanning my face as she got a good look at me.
"God, I remember when you were just a little baby. I may have carried you for nine months but you were always your fathers daughter. You two were always inseparable." She giggled, a small smile making it's way onto my face before I realized that she out of all people knew the truth about who my real father was.
"What was he like? You never talked much about him." I said, her lips pursing as a small smile pulled across her face.
"He was amazing. Your father was actually the first man I fell in love with--the only man really. He was there for me every step of the way when I was pregnant with you. Not once did he ever leave my side." She said, wrapping her hand around her mug as she drummed her fingers on it. I smiled at her words.
"You probably don't remember much about him since you were barely one when he left but you two were so close. Every chance that he got, he would spend with you. I used to think it was so cute. He would call you his little Emilia." She giggled, a funny feeling settling in my stomach.
I found it slightly funny because I thought Vincent was the only one who called me that.
"It hurt me when your father left. Everything was just fine one day and then the next day he was just gone. He just left everything behind and never got in contact with me or you ever again. I didn't want you to grow up with the pain I felt when he left. I didn't want you to know that a good father like him had chosen to leave his family behind, so growing up, I told you that he was never existent in your life." She said quietly, the sound of her voice trembling making tears sting in my eyes.
"I should have told you about your father much sooner but I just couldn't bring myself to do it Bunny. He was such a good father to you and it hurt to see him just leave you behind; Leave us behind. I mostly just didn't want you to handle the pain the same way I did. I chose to cope with him leaving by sleeping around and drinking. I didn't want you to grow up like that...I didn't want you to become me." Her voice cracked as she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. She sniffled, grabbing a napkin as she placed it up to her eye, drying her tears.
"I slept with men to forget him. I drank until I was too numb to feel how broken he had made me but every time I would become sober, all the pain I felt would just come rushing back at once. I loved him so so much but apparently my love wasn't strong enough for him to stay." She cried, tears falling from my eyes as I looked at how hard she was trying to keep herself from bursting into tears.
"Your grandma always hated Orlando from the start but I was just so young and in love that I couldn't understand why he would be anything but perfect." She said, my heart dropping into the pit of my stomach as I felt my body go into shock.
"My father's name was O-Orlando?" I asked, my heart starting to race and she wiped the tears from her eyes, nodding her head.
I didn't want to jump to the conclusion that my father was Orlando Vasquez. There was no way that he, of all the men named Orlando in this world, was my father.
"I just felt so stupid for not listening to grandma Edith and sooner or later, I grew to hate him. I couldn't even think about him, let alone keep his last name without wanting to scream in anger. Technically, we're still married because we never even got an official divorce. I had to live with the name Jane Vasquez until I finally switched back to my maiden name." Her words had been enough to make that gut-wrenching feeling inside of my stomach intensify as she confirmed everything I didn't want to be true.
My father was Orlando Vasquez.
"You okay Bunny? You look a little pale.." Her muffled voice asked, my eyes finding it so hard to focus on her as I became dizzy. I blinked slowly, her hand reaching out for mine and I felt a nauseating sensation overwhelm me.
I got up from my chair, running through the coffee house as I pushed open the swinging door to the bathroom. I slammed the nearest stall door open as I immediately released everything that I had been holding back. I got down on my knees, holding the sides of the seat as I emptied my stomach.
My heart was beating way too fast for my liking. I didn't want to believe it was true but hearing it come from my mother, I just knew that she wasn't lying. She of all people would know who my father is better than anyone.
I sat down on the floor, tears leaking from my eyes as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I stared into the toilet bowl, becoming disgusted with the sight before I hit the silver handle, flushing it down the pipe.
When I had finally gained enough stability to stand up, I walked towards the sinks where I began to clean my mouth off. I couldn't tell if I were in shock, denial, or both at the fact that my father was Orlando Vasquez, the man who killed my boyfriends mother and aunt.
I turned off the sink, looking at my reflection as I wiped my tears away. I felt a sudden change in my heart rate. That couldn't be all there was to the story. I had to know the rest of the truth. I needed to know the rest of the truth.
I grabbed the bathroom door, pulling it open as I began making my way back towards the table. I fumbled with the sleeves of my sweater, staring at the coffee table where my mother and I sat at.
She wasn't there. Her coffee cup still steamed with the hottest liquid of her coffee and her blueberry muffin was left down to the wrapper, leaving barely a crumb but she was not there.
"E-excuse me, have you seen the lady who sat at that table?" I asked the waitress who had walked by with a mop and bucket in her hands. She looked at the empty table and then back at me, nodding her head.
"She left with some man who came to pick her up. She kept saying to tell 'Bunny' that she was sorry." The waitress responded, arching a brow and I felt my eyes begin to water.
I gave her a quick and polite 'thank you' before rushing over towards the table to see money laid out on the surface to pay for our drinks. I grabbed my wallet, frantically searching for the tips I had made at the club and all that I was left with was nothing.
Lowering my wallet, I noticed black writing on the napkin that rest under her mug. I picked up the mug, setting it to the side as I read the message she had left for me. Her handwriting was shaky, as if it had been rushed and it seemed as if she hadn't gotten to finish her writing as her thoughts cut off.
"I'm sorry Bunny, h" read the napkin, and then it just stopped.
♠
Chapter 28! Done! Wooh!
Hey bubs, thank you for reading chapter 28 of Emilia <3
PLEASE READ ↴
AHHH BUBS, I am so sorry for the EXTREMELY late update oh my god. It was never my intention to keep you guys waiting this long but I wanted to make sure that I was happy with what I wrote so that you guys would enjoy it as well. I am going to try and be more active but 65k READS?! That's literally so insane!! I love you all so much and I appreciate every single ounce of your support and I just wish I were more creative so that I can express it more than just writing a simple thank you to show my gratitude.
Btw, I'm so glad emilia knows the truth about her father. Took 28 chapters but we finally got there. The next update for Emilia won't take a week+ like this one did. In the meantime, I just updated Loving Amara as well, which is the prequel and spinoff to Emilia. If you haven't checked that book out, feel free to head on over there and read while you wait for the next update :)
In a few days, (I don't have a specific date), I will do a double update of Loving Amara where you will be given Vincent's point of view of when he met Emilia in the grocery store. On that same day, Emilia will also be updated because I feel so terrible for making you all wait so long.
The next chapter of Emilia is going through heavy editing and will probably consist of around 5,000-6,000+ words so buckle up babes, it's going to be one hell of a ride ;)
Again, I am so sorry for the long wait. I love you all so much!!
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