Wakas
"Kabado ka pa rin?" tanong ni Gio. He seems to notice how uneasy I feel.
"Baka takbuhan ako, e." I chuckled as I nervous fixed my tie.
Nasa isa kaming hotel ngayon, for the preparations. I was currently looking at the mirror with a nervous smile plastered on my face. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. We're finally tying the knot.
"Pangalawang kasal niyo na 'to, 'tol. Takot ka pa rin? Baka nga mauna pa 'yon sa lugar kung saan kayo magh-honeymoon." Gio groaned as he plopped himself on the couch.
It still feels like the first time though. Although we already had our first wedding in Balesin since Arri wanted a beach wedding. Mas gusto pa rin ng Mama ni Arrisea na magkaroon kami ng kasal sa simbahan. It was her only condition before accepting our demand to be wed.
In my peripheral view, I could see Gio's annoyed expression. Nakakunot ang noo at kanina pa umiigting ang panga. He was my best man. Noong una ay nagtatampo pa siya nung sabihin ko na pinagiisipan ko kung siya ba o si Etienne. Dapat daw kasi ay siya lamang ang choice. Hindi raw dapat kasama si Etienne dahil nakakabastos daw sa kanya 'yon.
I only shook my head. I would never understand why he hate him so much. I mean, Etienne is an asshole. Totoo naman at saksi kami ni Arrisea kung gaano kalala ang pagiging asshole niya. Yet at the same time, Etienne was also our bridge to get together again.
I remember how Etienne helped me to fix things before coming back to Arrisea. He was also the one who presented the idea that we should split for a while. Habang nasa paligid pa at nasa panig si Tatiana ng mga magulang ko.
"Why are you helping me?" I asked, obviously hating the fact that someone let Etienne inside my office. Ipapalinis ko ito mamaya dahil ayoko ng presensya niya.
Ewan ko ba, minsan nakakatuwa si Etienne pero madalas nakaka-badtrip.
"Wow, ah? Ayoko rin sa'yo. Para kay Arrisea kaya kita tinutulungan," pangungumbinsi niya. He was leaning against the wall, his eyes fixated on the family portrait on my office.
Pati tuloy ang mga mata ko'y napunta roon. I stood tall with Alfos and Dayanara at my side. Si Solstice ay nakaupo kasama ang bunso kong kapatid. We were formal in the picture, maliban na lang kay Mareena na may ngiti sa labi.
"By doing this? You'll think Solstice will give up?"
He gave me a complete business plan that will contrast Solstice's presentation for the board. Kumpleto ang mga detalye at mukhang mababasura nga ang gawa ni Solstice kung gagamitin ko ito.
This manipulative bastard.
Nilalaro ni Etienne sa kamay niya ang hawak niyang stressball. He was squishing it and watch it go to back to it's normal form.
Unti-unti siyang tumango. Seryoso pa rin ang tingin sa family portrait namin. He's not even sparing me a glance. Pakiramdam ko ay napipilitan lang siyang kausapin ako. Siya naman 'tong pumunta sa office ko. My lips curved into a grimace. He's such a pain in the arse.
Tumikhim si Etienne, finally turning his attention to me.
"Any way, I'll handle Sol..."
In my amusement, I nibbled my lower lip. Hindi mapigilan ang ngisi na gumuhit sa aking labi.
I slouched on my chair. "Gusto mo lang ba magkaroon ng dahilan para lapitan ang kapatid ko?"
"No, why would I?"
"That's right, why would you?" balik ko sa tanong niya. He scoffed at me, disbelief in his face.
I looked at the details of the plan Etienne gave me and put faith in it. Kung totoo ngang ito ang paraan para bumalik si Arrisea at umayos na ang lahat, I'll risk everything for it.
I used the business plan when Solstice presented their idea in order to take away the corporation from me. Totoo ngang kinontra nito ang kagandahan ng plano ni Solstice. I saw how Solstice's face contorted into anger when I presented Etienne's idea to the board. Sinagot kasi nito lahat ng butas ng gawa niya.
I know she even hired someone who is known in the business field to present the idea so she can convince the board to agree with her. Hindi niya lang siguro inaasahan na babaliktarin siya ni Etienne.
She stormed out of the meeting room with heavy steps containing her disappoinment.
This is actually for her own good too. Hindi naman niya talaga pangarap ang industriya ng business. She was more concern with the welfare of the people when it comes to their health. Alfos and Dayanara were the only ones who wanted her to take this path. Baka sakaling mamulat na siya sa katotohanan na hindi naman anak ang turing nila sa kanya. She's just a tool, like how everyone else is in their eyes.
Napapikit ako nang mariin nang maalala ang ginawa nila sa babaing 'yon. The woman who killed my child. Alam ko noon pa man ay may pinuponduhan si Dayanara na babae para akitin ako. Too bad she got the wrong woman and I'll never fall for someone who have lost their morals for love. Nang imulat ko ang mga mata ko, napagtantuan ko na maaaring tinulungan siya ni Dayanara dahil nakikita niya ang sarili niya rito.
They were too madly in love with the idea of love that they deserted the goodness in it just to have a taste of something they have always wanted.
The mansion turns awfully quiet but peaceful after Alfos brought his family with him to live in another estate. Mukhang hindi na talaga sila nagkakasundo ni Grandpa pagdating sa hatian ng mana.
"Why are you visiting a clinic, Adonis?" Grandpa asked, after puffing from his tobacco pipe.
Ibinalik ko ang binabasa kong libro sa shelf ng opisina niya. He is getting old but he never quit smoking. Kahit na ilang beses ko na siyang pinigilan ay tanging ngiti lang ang ibinabalik niya saakin.
I'm actually consulting a therapist and I attend counselling for trauma. I just want to move on from the childhood I have believe in. The psychiatrist told me that my behavior was caused by the child abuse and neglect that I've went to. In each session, unti-unting natanggap ko na ang totoo.
I was capable of being loved. Everyone of us is capable of loving and being loved. May mga tao na ipapakita at ipaparamdam sa'yo na hindi para sa'yo ito — pero sino sila para ipagkait sa'yo ito? Love is something that will fuel you to live and no one can ever take that away from you — if you never let them.
Lumingon ako kay Grandpa at bumuntong hininga. Hindi na pinipilit ang emosyon na hindi ko maramdaman.
"It is my way to redeem myself, Grandpa. Please just let me have this."
I have said things, done things, and even I know myself that I cannot repent for those actions I've done and words I've said. Pero si Arrisea rin ang nagturo sa akin na likas sa tao ang magkamali. What matters most is we learn from those mistakes and we do something to change it.
Grandpa smiled, forming crinkles on the side of his eyes.
I could see how proud he is of me. Ngumiti rin ako, for the first time it felt real and I didn't have to pretend anymore.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "This family became a mess because of my own selfish perspective."
"Do you want to press charges?" Grandpa asked. "I don't have a long time to live anymore but let me repent for those years I have neglected you..."
I shook my head.
"I have already forgiven you a long time ago," I told him and gently held his hand. "Grandpa, I really want to start over. I want to remove this grudge in my heart and I want to see my light again."
It is for my own healing. I know I didn't have a good start and my childhood was horrible yet that's not an excuse for my previous behavior. Gusto kong magbago. Gusto kong maging mabuti. Not for myself but for Arrisea and for our future.
I miss her so much. She taught me things that made me want to believe that I was worthy of something so good even if I turned out to be not how everyone painted me to be.
Love is good she says, but the truth was she was the reason why I believed that love is truly good. Despite the darkness I was born into, she was the only goodness that ever happened in my life.
Love is good because love is something that is between us. Ito ang natatanging mabuting nangyari sa buong buhay ko. Ang mahalin niya ako at ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya.
"Even Alfos and Dayanara?" my Grandpa asked once again. "We can reopen your sister's case. They could go to jail for what they did."
Umiling muli ako at napukaw ang atensyon ko ng isang litrato sa study desk niya.
"No need, I'm sure someone is already doing something."
Alfos and Dayanara left me alone when they noticed that everything is almost on my own hands now. Kung balak pa nila itong agawin, kailangan pang lumaki ni Mareena dahil mukhang punong-puno na si Solstice. She's finally giving up or she's finally realizing we're not even supposed to fight each other.
The sudden surge of memories were cut off when we arrived at the church. I remembered the ring I gave to Arrisea when we were younger. I already married her but it still feels the same. It's nerve wrecking and it's making me feel like she'll change her mind. Kabado akong bumuntong hininga.
Nauna kaming nakarating sa simbahan. My palms were sweating. Ang tagal kasi dumating ng limousine. In the back of my head, I knew they should have used a fucking jaguar instead. Habang tumatakbo ang oras ay lalo lamang bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko.
"Invited si Etienne?" nagulat ako kay Gio dahil bigla itong lumapit saakin.
Halos malukot sa inis ang mukha niya. This is the first time I saw him this pissed. I mean, he's always laughing at his own silliness. Ngayon lang ulit siya nagmukhang bulkan na sasabog.
"Yeah, I told you that we were suppose to pick him as my best man since..."
I couldn't continue what I was suppose to say. Gio's hurt expression tells me that what he feels about Etienne is beyond what I know. Hindi ko na tinuloy dahil ayaw ko na gatungan pa ito.
"Wala naman siyang ginagawa..." my attention turned towards Etienne who was talking to a familiar woman.
Oh. Umawang ang labi ko at agad na tinapik si Gio.
"Siya 'yung babae mo 'di ba?" I pointed towards the woman who was with Etienne.
"Huwag kang turo nang turo baka manuno ka." Gio sneered, his arms were across his chest.
"Siya 'yon 'di ba?"
"Hala, inulit pa nga."
I chuckled but continued nevertheless.
"Siya 'yung nasa wallet—"
"Alam mo, isigaw mo pa. Rinig na rinig ka na nila," iritadong sambit ni Gio habang matalas ang tingin sa dako ni Etienne at nung babae na kausap niya.
The woman was also stealing glances at Gio. Pero agad naman niya itong binabaling sa iba. Etienne was smirking for some reason, he's probably aware of how Gio is staring daggers at him.
Etienne whispered in the woman's ears, making Gio more furious.
So that's the reason why he is pissed. Tawang-tawa ako dahil ilang taon na palang naghihintay itong si Gio. Kawawa naman.
A pregnant woman went towards our direction. Nahihiya siyang ngumiti saakin. Who would have guess that Zafirah would settle down this early? Akala ko noon ay puro trabaho ang gagawin niya sa buhay niya.
She pulled Gio towards the side. "Gio! Malapit na raw sina Arrisea! Umayos ka na, pumunta ka na sa lugar mo."
"Zafi, sasabihan naman kami kung totoo 'yan. Bakit ba kanina ka pa lapit nang lapit saakin?" Gio arched an eyebrow.
The woman's face contorted into scorn. "Ewan ko sa'yo! Sinasabihan ka lang e!"
"Bakit ka ba nagagalit sa akin? Pinaglilihian mo ba ako?" Gio was taken aback. Mukhang sasakmalin kasi siya ni Zafirah.
"Kadiri ka! Kadiri! Bawiin mo 'yon!" her face immediately softened and her eyes started forming tears. "Kadiri ka, Gio!"
Nanglalaki ang mga mata ni Gio habang ako naman ay patuloy lang sa pagtawa. Dinadaan sa saya ang kabang hindi matanggal sa sistema.
"Anong ginawa ko?" mahinahon na pinakalma ni Gio si Zafirah.
Oh, ganito ba talaga kapag buntis? Should I prepare in case Arrisea's like this too?
Dumating naman si Sarathiel para sunduin ang asawa niya. He smiled at us apologetically.
"Sorry, she's on her second trimester." Inakap ni Sarathiel ang kanyang asawa. "Bakit ka ba umiiyak?"
"Sabi ni Gio, siya raw pinaglilihian ko." Zafirah even released a few hiccups.
Sarathiel's face immediately went worried. Agad niyang hinawakan ang tiyan ng asawa niya.
"Lugi tayo roon, baby. Huwag naman kay Gio." He caressed his wife's stomach.
Umawang ang labi ni Gio habang patuloy siya sa pag-iling ng kanyang ulo. Disbelief in his face is visible.
"Nakakabawas points naman kayo sa langit. Nasa simbahan tayo pero grabe niyo ako pagtulungan."
We all laughed at Gio. Umayos lamang kami nang bigyan na kami ng signal na narito na nga si Arrisea.
My bride and soon my wife.
It made me breathless. Wife. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako sanay. She is already my wife but marrying her for the second time still feels the same.
Damn, Arrisea.
As the huge door of the church opened, I saw her walked the aisle. It was Grandpa who escorted her towards to me.
Her friends are on the side, also in awe because of her beauty. Suzy, Franny and Camisha was cheering for her. Umiiyak na nga sila habang dahan-dahan ang lakad ni Arrisea patungo sa altar.
Behind her veil, I could see how beautiful she was. No amount of words can attest to her beauty.
Do I really deserve her?
Kahit ganito lang ako?
Sometimes, I wonder what miracle did I do to deserve someone like Arrisea. Para kasing isang himala na biyayaan ako ng isang tulad niya.
She was wearing her luxurious white elegant gown. Her hair was in a bun and she's even wearing her usual make up. Ang mga alahas naman niya ay hindi rin malalaki ang bato. She looks heavenly even if she opted for a more simple look.
"You look so beautiful," I whispered to her when she reached my side.
"Dior lang naman ang damit ko, di mo afford." She winked at me.
I chuckled at her playfully. Branded or not, I prefer you without the clothes though. I slightly shook my head. Nasa simbahan kami pero pinupuno niya ng kung anu-ano ang utak ko. Pinilig ko ang ulo nang kuhanin ng pari ang atensyon naming dalawa.
As we say our vows to each other, I could see her shaking. Nanginginig siya habang unti-unting binibigkas ang mga pangako niya saakin. She looked at me and her tears were forming like crystals.
I never prepared my vows, because from the start I have always know what I wanted to tell her.
Thank you, Arrisea.
I'm here because of you. You are the reason why despite of how cruel the world treats me, I can still breath because you are existing in the same proximity of universe that I'm in.
You are stars to my night, and I shall be the darkness so that you can show your light.
The ceremony was just brief, this is the second time we will say our I dos.
"You may kiss the bride," the priest says.
Hindi namamalayan ang oras kapag si Arrisea ang kasama ko. I'm glad that after all the years we were confuse about how to make us work — in the end, all we needed was time and trust to mend our wounded hearts.
I kissed her passionately, hoping this will linger into her mind just like how it would haunt me for the rest of my life. Her touch, her lips and everything about her haunts me in a way that I couldn't forget how it made me feel.
"I love you everyday, Adren..." she said, breathless after parting from my lips.
I smiled.
"I love you, in the days you need me, in the days that you consider mundane, the good days, the bad days....every day, Arrisea." I sincerely uttered every word under my breath.
The five thousand was worth it because right now, my investment in Arrisea is skyrocketing. She already owns my life in her hands.
I may be considered as one of the richest people in this world but I wasn't able to escape the cost of tasting love. It might cost you pain before tasting how sweet it is but then if it's with Arrisea, I wouldn't mind the pain as long as in the end we'll be able to taste the life we have always dream of.
My wife giggled and leaned towards me to whisper. "Dalian na natin, gusto ko na rin ng part two ng honeymoon."
It made me smile and I can't help but kiss her more.
I finally found the purpose why I live in this cruel world. No matter how cruel the world can be, Arrisea made me want to stay in it because she's here. Her mere existence is already enough for me to live, to try again and to believe in the goodness of love.
"I love you, every day." her eyes brimmed with tears.
I smiled.
A life with her will always be worth the cost of taste.
❛ ━━━━━━･❪Arrisea Cabrera Reverio❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜