I open my eyes the next morning to a pounding headache. I roll over in the bed and see Jason sleeping next to me. When my eyes adjust to my surroundings, I realize that I'm in his room. What the hell happened last night? I grab my phone to text Kerri.
U home safe?
I wait for a reply. When I don't receive one in ten minutes, I know she is probably still sleeping. I lay next to Jason as I suddenly remember that I threw up in his car multiple times. I close my eyes wishing to have amnesia. I can't believe that I let Kerri get me drunk. She is such a bad influence, but I love the girl like a sister.
Jason opens his eyes, and I bite my lip scared of what he will say.
"Sorry."
"Not as sorry as me."
He closes his eyes, and I turn my back on him. I pull the covers up to my chin, wondering how bad I really was last night. Jason puts his arms around me and kisses the back of my neck.
"Melly, you passed out in my car, and your brother wasn't answering the phone. I called my dad and brought you back to my house."
Your dad? Oh, no! I rather you had called my mom!
"You threw up in my car about six times. I cleaned it up last night, after my father carried you in. You threw up on him, also."
My face gets red with humiliation. I vomited all over your dad? Are you kidding me? Damn, I am going to kill Kerri!
"Everything is cool, though. You're okay. The inside of the car is cleaned and now air drying in the garage. I guess the only problem is between you and I."
I turn around to look at him. "We have a problem?"
"Yes."
I swallow hard mentally preparing myself for him not wanting to be with me. I have never drank anything in my life, and I can't believe after a stupid house party that I'm suddenly known as a drunk.
"Mel, that was not cool. I don't know what you were drinking, but why would you drink, anyway? And then you were dancing with some dude like you wanted him to take you home."
"I'm sorry. I just saw you dancing with that girl and filled myself with alcohol. I was so jealous. You had your hands all over her body and acted like you didn't come with me." Tears come to my eyes remembering that particular part of the night. "That was not cool."
"I didn't know you were jealous."
"I'm always jealous!" I wipe my tears as he moves closer to me.
"You don't have to be jealous, Melly, because you already got me. Stop doubting it . . . I'm yours."
"I'm sorry."
"I am too."
My phone vibrates, and I grab it in a hurry. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that it's Kerri returning my message.
Im good. U?
Jasons house.
Drunk sex?
No, I passed out last night. Thanks for keepin me n trouble.
U welcome.
Seriously, Ker, I can neva do that again.
Neither can I. Terrance took me home last night and I dont even remember us having sex.
R u sure it was Terrance?
Yea, he's laying next to me now, so I think.
LMAO. I cant stand u bn my bestie.
LOL. IKR? Whats on agenda??
Jus gon chillax wit J. My body exhausted.
Girl, tell me. But we kno what I did last night. Wats ur excuse?
U too much. Tell Terrance thanks for invite. Had fun.
Will do. Tell Jas thanks for messin fun up. Or tryin to.
Not tellin him that. Bye.
Later, Mel.
Jason looks at me as I put my phone back on the night stand. I kiss his cheek softly.
"Who was that? Kerri?"
"Yeah, Terrance gave her a ride last night."
"I know. I already spoke to him last night, after I got done cleaning my car. He told me he took her back to her place and was staying the night."
"So are we good?"
"Yeah, I can't stay upset with you for too long." He starts laughing. "Babe, you threw up on my shoes."
"Sorry."
He gets between my legs and kisses my neck softly. I wrap my legs around his body and let my hands travel down his arms. I bite my bottom lip as he tries to take my panties off.
"I want you so badly right now, Mel. I've been wanting you since last night."
A knock at his door interrupts us, and I look at him. He sighs and gets off the bed. I pull the covers over my body as he steps on the other side of the door. I try to eavesdrop, but their voices are low. A few minutes later he comes back into the room, closing his door. He has a naughty grin on his face and sits on the bed next to me.
"Who was that?"
"My mom. She doesn't think that we should be in my room with the door closed. My dad doesn't care. He's the one who brought you in my room last night, but you know how my mom could be."
"Yes."
He leans across the bed and kisses my forehead softly. I can't stop smiling. "I'm about to make us breakfast, and I will meet you in the family room, okay?"
I nod, watching as he gets off the bed. I notice he left his phone on the nightstand. "Baby, your phone."
He looks at his phone and shakes his head. "I don't need it. You're right here." He winks at me and then walks out the door, closing it behind himself.
I stare at the phone for what seems like forever when actually it has only been five minutes. I lean on his side of the bed and grab his phone. On the screensaver, there's a picture that we took last week when we went out to breakfast. I smile when I see it. I put the phone down and shake my head. You should be ashamed of yourself. I am. I know better.
*****
I am laying on Jason's chest, watching television. He had fallen asleep about an hour ago. His phone starts to ring, and I look at it. I don't want to be that girl, but I can't help myself. My insecurities get the best of me, and I grab his phone. I see that he has a new text message. I look at him and then put the phone down not wanting to invade his privacy. His phone rings again almost instantly. I pick up the phone wondering who is so damn persistent. I open the first message and see it is from Leslie.
Lets talk.
I look at him and then look at the second message, which is from Leslie again.
miss u 😭
I delete both messages and put his phone back. I feel guilty the moment I set the phone down.
"Who was it?"
I jump up and look at Jason's face. I didn't think he saw me. He opens his eyes and looks at me.
"I'm sorry. I . . . it is . . . Leslie. I deleted her messages."
"Why would you do that, Mel?"
I shrug and look away from him. I don't like that I might go back to being just a friend. He leans over me and grabs his phone. I look at him as he puts his phone in his pocket. I feel embarrassed as he stares at the television. I don't like that I behaved so childish.
"One thing Leslie and I always got into it about was her touching my phone. I don't like that. I'm not going to lie to you, Mel. How is it that all these years you trust me, and now . . ." He shakes his head. "Now you're deleting text messages out my phone?"
"It's just that she said that she missed you and wanted to talk to you. I wasn't sure what you will do, or say, so I freaked out and deleted the messages."
"Mel, just talk to me. I'm going to always be honest with you."
He pulls out his phone, and I watch him send a text out. I want to ask who it is sent to, but I figure it isn't my place. He gives me his phone and go to the text that he just sent to Leslie.
Not interested. Mel my baby.
I try to hold back my tears after reading his text message to Leslie. He puts his phone on the night stand next to my phone and looks at me.
"I keep telling you that it's me and you, Melly baby." I lay my head on his chest as he holds me. "Melly, I told you that I want to be with you, and I meant that. I just don't know if you want the same thing. If you're going to start checking my phone like you're with me, you might as well be my girl."
I just lay on his chest unable to say anything. I do want to be with him, but I'm not sure what will happen next. I'm not sure how Kerri will handle things, or if he will still want to be with me when he leaves next year. Will I be a better friend, or girlfriend? I don't want to lose Jason. I like the way things are with us now. No titles, no worries, but still this amazingly great friendship. We have an unspoken agreement that he is mine, and I am his.
*****
Kerri, Terrance, Jason, and I are all at the bowling alley. It is Jason and I against Kerri and Terrance. I just hi-fived Jason for getting a strike. He does a dance, and I start laughing. I start dancing with him, not minding looking silly with him. Kerri gives Terrance a look and shakes her head.
"These two been getting on my nerves lately."
Terrance pushes us aside and grabs his ball. "You guys need a room."
Jason grins as he sits down and he pulls me onto his lap. He starts tickling my stomach, and I start laughing as Kerri just looks at us.
"Jay, baby, stop!" I put my hand on his face and he licks his lips.
"You guys are the reason we're losing this game! I mean, can ya'll stop touching each other and being so happy for just one hour?" Kerri gives us a dirty look and then turns to see that Terrance rolls his second gutter ball. "Are you freaking kidding me, Terry?"
I laugh as I get up to bowl. Jason pulls me down by my shirt, and I giggle as I fall into his arms.
"Don't you want a good luck kiss, Melly baby?"
Kerri rolls her eyes obviously annoyed with us. "Yeah, cuz that's going to help her get a strike, Jason."
We ignore her as he kisses my lips. Kerri grabs my arm, getting frustrated.
"Bowl, Mel!" She gives him a dirty look, and he chuckles.
I grab my ball and turn to smile at Jason.
I have never been as happy in my life as I had been the last week with him. It is like everything is coming together since the day we made love. I mean, we've never said we are official, but it feels like we are. I roll the ball not really caring if I hit any pins, or not. I turn back around and walk back to Jason who jumps up happily.
"Strike, Melly!"
I turn to watch all ten pins fall down. I grin as Jason picks me up and kisses my lips.
Jason turns to Kerri, who is grabbing her ball. "Told you, Ker bear, a good luck kiss."
She rolls her eyes as he makes smooching sounds. "Jason, you've really been getting on my nerves." He laughs as she pushes him away.
"Babe, you want a good luck kiss?"
Kerri pretends like she doesn't hear Terrance talking to her as she rolls her ball and knocks down seven pins. She gives me and Jason a dirty look as she grabs her second ball. Jason is standing behind me with his head on my shoulder. We watch as she throws her second ball and only knocks down one more pin. I try not to laugh at the big smile on Jason's face, but I can't help myself. He is so funny.
He grabs his ball as Kerri sits next to Terrance. After grabbing his ball, he walks up to me and pulls me close to him with his free arm. "My good luck kiss."
I grab his shirt and stand on my toes as I try to give him a quick kiss. He parts my lips with his tongue, and I try to push him away giggling. I'm not used to tongue kissing him in public, but his grip tightens around me. I try to turn my head, laughing and feeling embarrassed.
Jason laughs at me and puts his ball down. "Kiss me, girl." I laugh at his deep voice and shake my head as he grabs me, before I can get away.
"Oh, geez, Melissa, kiss him. You guys are taking forever to play one game. Seriously." Kerri crosses her arms and shakes her head.
Jason runs his fingers across my back as he holds me waiting for me to kiss him. I giggle and try to move his hand, but he pulls me closer. I close my eyes as he brings his lips closer to mine. I open my mouth slightly and invite his tongue in. His hands travel up my body, and I smile as he breaks the kiss and looks in my eyes. "Melly baby, you drive me absolutely crazy."
He grabs his ball and pretends to stretch. He drives me absolutely crazy. He rolls his ball and gets another strike. He nods walking back to us with satisfaction. "Melly's kisses do that to me."
I sit down as Jason plays around trying to make Terrance get a gutter ball. Kerri yells at him to sit down and stop trying to screw their game up. I laugh as he gets in Kerri's face annoying her. Kerri just looks at me as if to ask me to do something about him. I shrug as he succeeds in Terrance bowling another gutter ball. Jason walks over to me as Terrance grabs his second ball. Jason puts his hands on each side of my chair and looks at me. I give him a side smile and sit back as he searches my eyes. He presses his lips against mine, and I feel like I've just about melt in my seat.
"You know what, guys? We should just call it a night. Terrance can't bowl worth a nickle, and you guys . . ." Jason and I are playing the kissing game while she is talking. I know I am falling in love. He has me feeling like a kid in the candy store. I can't get enough of him. "Well, you guys are acting worse than newlyweds. It's disgusting."
Jason looks up at Kerri, while I go to get my ball. "Naw, you want to call the game off, because you're losing."
Kerri and Terrance laugh at him as he sits down looking at me. I turn around and flash a smile at him. I wonder if he knows he is the reason I am this happy.
"Well, I can't focus right with you and Melissa playing the kissing game and swapping spit every three seconds."
I start laughing and accidentally drop my ball. I watch it roll and only knock down two pins. I look at Jason as I go for my second ball.
"Sorry, Jay baby, Kerri caught me off guard with what she said."
"It's okay, knock the other eight out, babe."
"You could knock six, but it better not be eight." Terrance says.
I giggle at Terrance's silliness. "You guys stop!"
Jason smiles as I prepare myself to roll my ball.
"Gutter ball!" Kerri yells just as I get ready to roll my ball.
I drop the ball and watch as it doesn't knock any pins down. I look at Kerri as she starts laughing.
"That's not fair now!" Jason jumps up laughing. "Is that what you and Terrance on, Ker bear? Alright, Let's play."
I shake my head as Kerri celebrates with Terrance in me only scoring two points for my team. I smile at Jason as he continues to talk to Kerri to keep her from scoring. When she gets a strike, she jumps up and does the same crazy dance that Jason did earlier. Terrance jumps behind her and dances, also. I start laughing holding my stomach. Jason looks at me and grins. I love him so much.
*****
Kerri and I are at my house studying, and I keep sneaking glances at her. It's been twelve days since Jason and I shared an intimate moment. She catches me looking at her again, and I look back at my book quickly. I want to tell her so badly about the things that went on in his bedroom. Kerri slams her book shut, and I look up at her.
"Okay, something is going on with you and him. I've seen the way you guys look at each other."
I start laughing and close my book, trying to choose my words on how to tell her that I slept with our best friend.
"Tell me, Melly! I bugged him to tell me, but he's not talking! I want to know what's going on!"
"Jason and I . . . we did it."
She gives me a confused look as I study her face. "Did what?"
I blush profusely and start giggling. "We did that, Ker."
Her mouth drops opened. "OMG, Melly. I want details! When? Did he put his face in it? Melissa, why are you now just telling me? I told Terrance that you two had sex!"
I hold my hands up, "Slow down, Ker Ker. Deep breaths."
She smiles, shaking her head. "I. Want. Details."
I smile at her, thinking about how he kissed my lower lips. I've been having flashbacks of him all week. I look at her wondering if I should tell her how freaky Jason really is. I'm not sure just how much I should tell her. I lean back in my seat and think about Jason moving his hips, while I was on top of him. I look at Kerri as she sits in her chair impatiently waiting for me to share something. I start blushing not wanting to reveal too much.
"Now I definitely want to know what happened. You keep blushing and got this silly look on your face. Tell me, Melissa. We're besties."
"Well . . ." I think about Jason biting my neck and telling me that he loves me. I glance at Kerri, and she is clearly getting annoyed.
"Stop doing that! You're over there having flashbacks. Come on, Melly."
"I don't know how Jason will feel about me sharing intimate details about us with you." I admit, looking at the table.
Kerri puts her book in her bag and starts to grab her things in frustration.
"Ker bear, don't be like that."
"How are you not going to tell me about your first time? I gave you all details about my first time with Terrance." She looks really hurt.
I sigh and decide to just tell her enough that she won't hold it against me. I'm not going to give her a blow by blow, because I don't want to make things awkward when we all go out.
"Okay, Ker . . . it happened almost two weeks ago. Jason and I had decided to go bike riding near the beach. We got into a sand fight and decided to go back to his house to wash my clothes and take showers. He took his first. Then, I took mine . . ."
I hold Kerri's attention as I tell her the simple details. I tell her only the things that I think she should know. I don't want her knowing that my Jay baby literally had me suffocating in the bedroom.
*****
Jason walks into my kitchen as my mom is making breakfast. "Good morning, Mom."
She smiles at Jason, "Good morning, Jason."
Jason walks up to me and kisses my cheek. "Good morning, Melly. I was missing you."
"You mean since dropping me off last night?" I tease him.
He grins at me as my mom studies us out the corner of her eyes. "Especially since I had to drop you off last night."
I shake my head as my mom puts a plate in front of me, and a plate on the table for Jason. Jason sits down and grins at me as Kerri walks in the door and rolls her eyes, when she sees Jason made it to breakfast before her.
She smiles sweetly at my mom. "Good morning, Momma R."
My mom smiles at Kerri and gestures for her to sit down, "Have a sit, Kerri, and I will make you a plate, also.
Kerri sits down smiling, "Thank you." She shoots Jason a look as he chews on his bacon. "Why are you here?"
My mom sets a plate in front of Kerri and starts to wash dishes.
"Did I miss something? Why are you so hostile?" Jason questions her.
Kerri glances at my mom to see if she is paying attention. She looks at me and him. "I don't like what's going on with our little group. I mean, I applaud you both, and I'm very happy, but this is too much. I feel left out half the time around you guys." She tries to keep her voice low.
"How? We still give you a ride to school." I make an attempt to defend us.
"We? It's not you car, Mel." Kerri rolls her eyes, getting annoyed.
"It is, if I give it to her." Jason says, coming to my rescue.
"You are truly stupid, Jason." She sighs. "Look, I'm just as happy as you guys, but remember we're all friends. That's all I ask.
Jason smiles at her, "Of course, Ker bear, but when you start asking me questions about what me and Melly do, I can't go there with you."
My mom turns around and looks at me, and I try to ignore her and just eat some eggs.
"Okay, that's fair. I guess you shouldn't be revealing things like that."
I clear my throat and drink some water. "Hey, how about we head to school? We can finish this conversation in the car, Ker bear."
I glance at my mom, who is now drying the dishes. Kerri and Jason both look at her, and Kerri winks to let me know she gets it. We all stand up together and clear the dishes off the table. We all thank my mom for breakfast and rush out the front door. Once we get outside, I push Kerri playfully.
"Next time you feel neglectful, text it. My mom doesn't know what's going on."
Jason looks at me as he opens the door for me. Kerri gets into the back seat and closes the door.
"Mel, you haven't told your mom that we're trying to be more than friends?"
"No, you told your parents?"
He nods. I feel like I should apologized, but he stops me and kisses my lips and smiles at me. "It's not a big deal."
I get in the car as Kerri whistles at us. "She tells me not to tell her business in front of her mom, but kisses him right in front of the house. The nerve."
All I can do is laugh and shake my head at Kerri's statement.
*****
Jason and I are laying in the back of his father's truck staring at the stars. He had drove us to Indiana to get away. I smile at him as I feel his gaze on me.
"Melly, I want to marry you one day."
"How do you know that?" I turn to him smiling. "We're too young to know who we want to spend our lives with." Although I say the words, I know one day I will want to marry Jason, also.
Jason leans in close to me, and I rub his head, "If I propose to you, before going off to college, what will you say?"
I'm not sure to take him serious, or not. He studies my eyes, and I blush a little and look away. He puts his hand under my chin and turns my face back to his. I look in his eyes not sure how to respond.
"What will you say, Mel? I want to know."
"I guess I will say that we're too young to know that's what we want."
He nods, and I swallow hard as he sits up in the truck.
"I don't think I'm too young, babe. I wrap my whole life around you. I think about you the moment my eyes open in the morning, from the moment I go to sleep. I need to hear your voice, before I go to bed. I miss you when we're not together for a few hours." He shakes his head. "Mel, I don't think you understand. I want to be with you. Ever since we've shared our feelings, I have never been as happy as I am now. I just don't know if you want the same thing."
I sigh as I lay looking at the stars. I don't want him to hurt me. I don't want things to change so drastically that we end up with nothing, but regrets.
"Mel, talk to me."
I sit up and look at him. I sit next to him and take his hand in mine. "This has all been great, but I don't want us to change, or move too fast."
He studies my eyes, "You know that I'm going off to college next year, right?"
I nod and confess to myself that I'm not trying to think that far ahead. My life will be a wreck without Jason here. I am going to college, also, but not out of state. My mom can't afford to send me out of state like my friends' parents. Both Kerri and Jason are going to leave me. When Jason leaves, who's to say that he will remember me? I look at him as he notices my eyes filling with tears.
"What's wrong, babe?"
I shake my head as he wipes my tears from my face. "I can't take not having you here with me. I'm so used to seeing your face first thing in the morning. It's been that way for the longest time."
He smiles at me and pulls me in for a hug. "We can do FaceTime or something. Leave each other morning messages before school. Maybe do a little video chat." He looks at me as I smile a little bit. "Are you saying that you want to be with me?" His smile widens.
"I'm saying that I don't see how it's going to work."
He sighs in frustration. "Mel, I will figure all that out. I promise. If you want me here every weekend, I will be here every weekend."
"Atlanta to Chicago every weekend, Jason? Don't be ridiculous. Even I know you can't do that."
"Well, if that doesn't work, you can move in with me. We can try that."
"Your parents will never allow that."
"Then I will get a job, and it will be none of my parents' business."
"And my education? What about that?"
"You can go to school anywhere, Mel. You can do whatever you want. Go to a community college, or take online courses." Jason sighs in frustration. "Mel, I'm putting everything out there I'm willing to do for us. It sounds like you're not on the same page as me. Babe, I thought you wanted us to be together?"
I look in his eyes. I do, but I'm scared. "Jason, we don't have to think about any of this, until next year. We're not even midway through senior year. You got me over here in tears, thinking about the day you leave me."
"I don't have to leave you, unless that's what you really want. With this whole discussion about going away next year, and you purposely avoiding the subject, imagine how I feel."
I look in his eyes, noticing that he's trying not to let my response about us bother him. I turn his face to mine and kiss his lips softly. He pulls the blanket up and wraps it around us. I look at him, and he brings his lips down to mine and kisses me softly.
I smile at him as he grabs me for me to sit on his lap. I put my hands on his face as he rubs noses with me. I giggle and rub his head. He rubs my back, smiling at me. "I'm in love with you, Melly. I swear."
"I'm in love with you, also, Jason."
"Can you at least give me an answer for senior prom?"
"Of course we're going to prom together."
He pulls me in for a kiss, and I close my eyes as our lips touch. We tease each other with our tongues, making me fall over in a fit of laughter. I playfully hit his arm as he tries to bring me closer to him.
"Jason!"
"Give me a real kiss, girl." He drives me crazy with his deep voice.
"You're playing games, boo!"
He makes a face like he is angry, and I squeeze his face. He grabs my hand and hit my face with it. "Stop hitting yourself, Melly!"
I can't stop laughing as I try to grab his hand. "Jason, stop being silly!"
He laughs letting go of my hand as I try to grab his hand again. "What are you trying to do, Melly?"
I kiss his lips. I feel his arms around my body. I giggle as he lays me down and tries to unfasten my jeans. I grab his hand, and he kisses my neck.
"What's wrong, babe?"
"Jay, I don't feel comfortable doing this outside."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Melly."
He gets off me, and I look nervously at him. "No, I'm sorry." I sigh, thinking I must have sounded so inexperienced than what he is used to. "I must sound like a dork, huh?"
He grins and pulls me closer to him, "No, Melly, you sound just the way I love you to sound. Do you think I can get us a room on the way home?"
I give Jason a look, and he laughs at the look on my face. "Really, Jas? Is that all you think about?"
"No, but it's been almost three weeks, and I miss you so much. Spending all this time with you and keeping my hands to myself is not easy. I want you, Mel. We haven't done anything since that first time. Did I scare you?"
I shake my head no, instantly thinking about how good he feels and blush. Jason looks at me, waiting for a reply.
"I want you also, Jason, but I think maybe we should wait a little longer, before doing that again. At least wait, until we figure out what's to happen between us after senior year."
Jason nods, "What's going on with you, Mel? Do you want to be with me?"
His question shocks me and confuses me at the same time. "What?"
Jason stands up and jumps off the back of the truck. "I'm just saying that I'm trying to be with you, and I thought you wanted the same thing. Whenever something serious comes up, you want to act like there's nothing but a wholesome friendship between us. What's the deal? Let me know."
I climb down from the truck and watch as Jason gets in the driver's seat without first opening my door. I take a deep breath and open my side of the door. As soon as I close the door, Jason drives off in frustration.
"Jay, baby ---"
"I'm done talking, Mel."
I stare at him for a few seconds and turn my head to look out the window. I don't want him to see my tears. Now that I am with him things are becoming more complicated. I wipe the tears from my eyes. I don't want him mad at me. He parks the car in a gas station and looks at me.
"I'm sorry, Melly. It's just I'm confused. I hate not knowing."
"Jason, it's going to be me and you forever. Why do everything else have to be defined right at this moment?" The tears are coming down my cheeks now. "It should be enough that I Iove you, and you know that I will always be here."
Jason pulls me close to him and wipes my tears. "I'm sorry, baby. You're right, and it is enough. I don't know why I'm trippin'."
He presses his lips against mine and we start kissing.