Chapter 5
Jean's POV
Waking up to the sounds of the forest, birds singing and the wind flying trough the tall trees, is something I could get used to. Except, not when the sound of clashing armor is present. Heaving myself up, I let out a puff of air as I slowly walked to the edge fo the platform in the trees, avoiding making any sounds. "Prince! Prince! Where are you! Prince Jean!" All the clammoring woke up Reiner and Bertholdt. Whispering to them, I crouched low, and stared at the soldiers. "Sorry guys. I didn't think they'd actually come looking. Lay back down, I'll go. And remember; three."
Strapping the sword back to my waist, I grabbed the bundle of arrows and my old bow, and slowly climbed back down, without getting noticed by anyone. Bertholdt waved to me from the top, and then retreated. I slowly snuck over to my horse, cooing it to stay quiet. Succesfully getting on without a sound, I pressed my ankles in, and we were off. Getting noticed by the guards, they quickly ran after us, but with their heavy armor, didn't make it far.
I knew I would get punished by my parents, but I didn't care about that right now. Heck, I really, and genuinly don't give two shits. Or one at that. Spurring up my horse, I rode silently back to the place I used to call home, the castle. Even though I still consider it a home, it's not my home anymore. And that hurst me, because currently, I have no place to call home, except the woods, with the
big ass trees.
It's sad, really. But I don't care anymore, it's not worth arguing over anyway. Slowly riding into the courtyard, all the guards turned at me, and one ran off to, most likely, infort the people I used to call parents. Getting off, they walked over to me, and tried to ask me where I was, but I just ignored them, there was only a few people in this castle I was willing to talk to, and actually enjoy the conversation. Oluo, although the man always bites his tongue, he's nice to talk to. And Yrmir, my father's commander. She acted harsh, but had a soft heart. She was also the only who knew where I would run off to, from time to time, and promised, as Bertholdt and Reiner were her friends too, that she'd help with today's task.
No one else would I speak to, unless it was something coming from the cold and broken side of my heart. I wish there was someone else for me to rely on, but sadly... it takes a lot, and LOT to gain my trust, for it was broken too many times. I guess that's just how life goes. The past is in the past, even though it haunts you. The present is now, and yeah, now. The future is a mystery, that we will consider history.
Consider history eh? Yeah, a wise ass said that, don't remember who though. Never really had a reason good enough to. Getting off my horse when I got to the barn, I took the saddle off, and carried it to the hook, where I cleaned it, taking my goddman dear time. Being done with taking care of the animal that was so loyal to me, even with danger on our asses, I strode out into the garden. Walking around, I listened to the servants rambling on the other side of the bushes. "...Did you hear.... King Grisha's son... ran away.... no one knows.... yeah. They said he.... last night...sister alone..."
Raising a brow, I walked on, acting as if I was ignoring their conversation, even though it interested me. So that idiot ran away? Last night? Information sure travels fast. But that's only because people like to chatter and spread private information. Why? He had everything that he wanted, a nice sister, a loving family. Oh, well... his mother had died, but he still had his father and sister with him... I on the other hand, have lost my parents to something they can't come back from. He should consider himself lucky, little bastard.
Ignoring the servant's stares, I walked towards my room, trying to keep up my confident aura, even though it was slipping away trough the cracks. The cracks I cover by myself. "Damn it!" My fist slammed against the wall, my exterior finally cracking into little bits, slowly getting carried away by my anger. A few of the servant's walking down the halls looked at me, and quickly scurried off when I gave them a glare. Huffing, I took slow breaths, trying to calm myself. Straightening my back again, I took small, shaky steps toward the door in view.
Making it there, I ignored the sharp stabs in my ribs, as breathing became much harder than it should be. "Goddamn. Fuck this..." Laying down on the simple bed, covered with thin, cream colored satin sheets. I took a hard breath, digging my hands into my ribs, my fingers slipping in between, helping ease my breathing with the new pain, something else to focus on, other than the sharp stabs in my lungs.
Succeeding in getting my breathing back to normal, I laid down, staring at the ceiling, the wood being old, worn down, and cracked. It looked as if it was once the floor, not the ceiling, and I loved the feeling it gave me. Like I wasn't in this world anymore, but another, where everything was against the rules. I wished I could live there, my heart and soul, longing for something new, and different, or something old and same. I wished my parents as they were, but if they weren't like this, I wouldn't have had a reason to run away, and meet new people.
Everything was so complicated lately. I loved and hated it. The complications gave way to new views, but also more complications. So yes, my dream was to get love, and walk on the ceiling. Most people would laugh, and you know what? I don't care, I bet they have funny dreams too, so screw them.
Rolling onto my side, to face the window, I did so just in time to get a glimpse of the door open. "Jean Nathanial Kirschtein! How dare you!" Rolling my eyes, I just shuffled around, ignoring the hurt from the hate in my mothers high pitched voice. "Get your lazy ass up right now! And apologize to your father and I!" Glaring out the window, I stayed still, attempting to ignore the woman I once loved like nothing else. It still hurt. Even after 8 years of screaming, abusing, and being ignored by them, it still hurt.
Digging her hand in my collar, it felt as if a hawk caught me, so sharp her pedicured nails were, I let out a slight whimper, hating myself for it right away. Pulling me off the bed, and onto the ground, the cream sheets slid off of the bed, pooling around me. "Get your fucking ass off the ground, and come to tea to apologize, or I swear, you won't have a crown on your head, or a roof over your body." Stomping out on her large heels, that I'm surprised she hasn't tripped in yet, her once delicate hand wrapped around the doorknob, slamming the beaten door closed.
Now I would like to know, still, why that idiot ran away. He has a better family than mine, why not stay with it, before he loses it completely, because one day, we all will. Early or late, all of us will die one day. Hah~ I feel like a poet with these thoughts. My backside still hurts from the fall to the harsh and polished ground. Being tiles, since I only had a small carpet on the other side of the bed, at the foot of it.
Rolling my eyes once more, I grabbed the edge of the table that sat next to my bed, and pulled myself up. Walking over to the dresser, I opened the slightly splintered doors, pulling out fresh clothes. I slung my dirty clothes over my chair, as I changed into new ones. "This is... going to be vary bad." I looked at the ground, as if it was the most interesting thing ever, when my father's right hand, tentatively appeared in my mind, a shiver running down my back. There's something about that hand, and that ring, sitting on that hand, that will forever haunt me.
Shaking my head clear of the depressing thoughts, I opened the door, going out into the hallway. I closed the door, and started walking towards the garden door, seeing servants go in and out of the doors. I nodded back at them, as they bowed and curtsied to me while passing. Before entering the glass doors, with flowers behind them, I walked toward the window on the other side, looking out at the clock-tower. One;thirty. Good, I still have time. Nodding to myself, I went towards the doors, opening them, causing five pairs of eyes to turn to me.
Quite uncomfortable, might I add. Especially the one stare that showed not hate, but lust and greed. Great... "Hello Jean, nice for you to finally join us. This Is Jenelle, her husband Ricco, and their daughter Bellis." Acting all nice again, my mother introduced me to another group of people. I nodded at them, hoping that my parents would somehow not get pissed off at me again. "Pleasure to meet you, Ma'am, Sir, Miss." I leant down, taking the outstretched hand of Jenelle, and kissed it, gagging on the inside. I shook the hand of Ricco, who surprisingly seemed uncomfortable to be here.
Ignoring Bellis, I sat down in the only unoccupied chair, crossing my legs, leaving my hands on my lap. My mother gave me a slight glare, showing that she was expecting me to court Bellis. Ew, no way in Hell. "It's so nice to finally meet you Jean. Your parents have been talking about you." Great. "So are you excited to finally be of age to marry? Our daughter, Bellis has. She is currently looking for someone suitable, what about you?" Making a stupid face inside my head, I gave them a small forced smile. "I haven't found anyone to my tastes yet, but I do hope I can soon. I wish you luck also." Nodding, she kicked her husband under the table, trying not to let anyone notice. He looked at her, and then leaned towards his daughter, a scowl crossed his face as quickly as it disappeared. He whispered something in her ear, obviously not liking it.
Bellis stood up, and walked towards me, her heels clicking on the stone patio in the garden. She smiled at me, and leaned down, her breath feathering over my ear, she tried to sound seductive. My parents in the mean time, had started a different conversation with the parents of Bellis. "Can we go somewhere less crowded?" I nodded to her, glaring at the back of my mother's head as I stood up. She didn't thankfully catch the glare, but she sent me an approving glance, as I stuck out my hand, Bellis hooking hers into mine.
I held the door open for her, as she passed trough, and then closed it. She hooked on to my arm again, this time pressing herself more into me. "So, where are we going?" I gave her a slight smile, this time real. "Surprise, wait for some time." Continuing walking, she gave me a questioning side-glance, as we came to the door that lead outside. I opened it for her, and then closed it after me. He nose scrunched up as soon as we got close to the stables. "Ew, what is that horrid smell." I chuckled at her, and opened the stable doors. "The only place I know where to relax, now if you'd excuse me, and the smell." I walked trough the doors, and closed them behind me, in her face.