The fourth time came during one of Toby's darkest moments. Brian and Tim had been gone for almost a week on whatever kind of mission the Operator had sent them on this time around. On the one hand, Toby didn't mind them being gone for so long. He'd have the room to himself while they were gone and, so long as he cleaned his mess up, could eat in their room and even allow Smiles to sleep in bed with him (something Brian and Tim rarely enjoyed, as the dog tended to be a snorer; not to mention Jeff could burst in anytime looking for 'his' dog, which annoyed the hell out of everyone involved). He could sleep whenever he wanted and (almost) wake up whenever he wanted. And neither of the other two Proxies could complain, especially about his bad habits.
But on the other hand, that was exactly why he disliked them being gone for any period of time, much less a long one like this. They weren't there for the bad times, especially the chewing and biting; the voices and the bad dreams. While he could consider at least a few of the other inhabitants of the house that came and went semi close friends, none of them could ever really notice when he chewed on his lips, inner cheeks or fingers unless they could figure out the clues. And Toby became quite good at hiding his scars and open wounds when the others were around. He also became a rather decent liar and actor around them; something that Brian especially never once believed and could easily see through. It also became harder to remember to eat at times with Brian not there to ask him if he had, or Tim to make sure he got out of bed each and every morning, even if it meant Toby annoying him on the morning walks.
And, although Toby often hated to admit it, knowing both didn't feel the same way about him -- he missed his two roommates. He missed them being there, even if it meant him being brushed off or ignored, or worse, bombarded by Tim with mild insults and what have you's.
Toby didn't quite remember when this attack had happened; simply that the voices began speaking to him lowly; telling how worthless he was, how much of a coward he could be -- how much of a coward he was. Of how the accident was his fault, how awful and terrible and just plain nasty he was. How he had no friends, no one who cared from him and how Lyra would hate him so much had she lived and likely wanted him as dead as he wanted himself dead. And especially how Brian and Tim didn't return his affections; how they saw him as more of a nuisance, of something they had to watch like a toddler instead of someone they worked with.
So indulged was Toby with his thoughts as he sit in the middle of his bedroom floor, hands bleeding as he sat motionless aside from his mouth tearing off skin and flesh and eyes lifeless as the voices sounded over and over like a mantra, that he didn't even hear the front door open and slam shut and voices resound. Not the footsteps stomping up the stairs to his bedroom and the door swinging open, Tim standing in the doorway and looking down the hall as he shouted something down the hall before turning to walk into the room. Of course, he jumped back at the sight of the young, ticking man who sat slumped on the floor; mask covering the surprised yet extremely concerned expression as he swiftly stepped into the bedroom.
" Fuck . Brain!" Tim quickly shouted back out the open door as he rushed towards the ticking killer, grabbing at his hands and forcing them away from his mouth. They weren't bleeding enough to cause death, but the amount of gashes and wounds were worrisome nonetheless.
"What the hell -- Oh shit, again?" Brain's voice came from the open doorway of their room before hurried footsteps rushed down the hall. "I'll get the med kit!"
It wasn't until strong hands ripped his own away from his mouth that Toby seemed to finally come back to the real world. Tim held them fast even as Toby tried to break away with a cry; his face stern as he stared at Toby with unfazed eyes.
"Stop that," Tim ordered sternly.
Toby found himself obliging; head turned away while tears streamed down his face.
"Y-you guys do-don't have t-to --" Toby started but was quickly cut off.
"Obviously, we do ," Tim sighed, agitation leaving his voice then.
One of Tim's hands left his then, moving to his shoulder as he was gently guided to his feet and then to Tim and Brian's nearby bed. Brian returned just as Tim sat the other down, a hand gently wiping away a few tears from Toby's face; the look on Toby's face showing that he was likely zoning out again -- or that he couldn't believe the attention he was receiving, which was also quite possible -- as Brian knelt before Toby on the floor as he rummaged through the kit.
"Alright," he said as he finally grabbed the ointment and cleaning products and turned to Toby, "let me see 'em."
Almost shyly, Toby pulled one of his hands from Tim's to show a generous amount of blood; not too much as so it was falling to the floor in puddles, but enough for Brian to frown deeply and quickly pull off his hood to more closely examine the hand before him. Toby tried his best to still his shaking frame, Tim not making it any better as he felt his hand move around until it rested on Toby's other shoulder, the other moving his currently ignored hand to Tim's dirtied jeans and keeping it firmly there as if he didn't trust him to not suddenly start biting at them.
"You really need to stop doing this," Brian muttered, seemingly more to himself than to Toby as he carefully began cleaning the wound carefully. Both were almost glad Toby couldn't feel pain. Surely the alcohol would hurt like all hell as Brian attempted to clean it.
"I'm sorry," came the whispered response, a hint of a rising sob eminent in Toby's already croaking voice. "I-I fuck up a-alot, I know."
"Yeah," Tim sighed as he finally removed his mask to set at their bedside table with his free hand; but before Brian could even think about throwing a punch at his counterpart, Tim turned back with a sigh as he continued, "but I guess that's why we're here. T' help you clean up the mess?"
Toby looked to the only side he had that was completely void of a body, if only to hide both the tears forming from such a remark -- yet a lump sticking in his throat. Although oftentimes malicious in his words, Toby couldn't help but notice the nice side Tim could have if only he knew how to use his words better.
There came an angry whisper from Brian as the two beside him conversed, though he kept quiet and ignored their bickering as Brian patched him up swiftly yet carefully; as if forgetting Toby couldn't feel pain and thus couldn't feel if he were even being too rough or poking the injuries accidently. The bandages were neat and tidy, albeit slowly starting to stain with a deep red color from the wounds. They would likely need to be changed by morning, if not before, to prevent any kind of infection.
Toby wouldn't have minded such kindness regardless; he kind of enjoyed the way Brian carefully caressed and moved his hand about regardless of whether or not he could feel any pain. Granted, he could've probably done this himself whenever he ended up snapping out of it on his own, but it was something about Brian helping him that made him feel truly happy and cared for, and he didn't quite want to let that feeling go so easily. That handsome face before him, staring sternly at the wounds as he oh so carefully fixed the damages Toby had caused.
"It's getting late," came Tim's voice, causing Toby to snap out of his trance. "You should probably get some sleep, Rodgers."
Toby gave a quick glance to Tim, the man having already released his other hand to Brian who had cleaned and wrapped it as well. Toby gave a curt nod and moved to stand to go to his own bed, yet much to both his and Tim's surprise, Brian stood and gently pushed him back down onto the larger bed.
" No ," Brain spoke sternly yet softly, handing the now closed med kit to Tim who set it next to where his mask lay after a moment of confusion, "you'll sleep here. I'll have to get up to change your bandages soon anyway, and at least this way I'll know if you wake up with another episode so you don't hurt yourself more."
Toby looked to Tim as if expecting him to decline the statement. But while Tim's face was now etched with annoyance, he simply rolled his eyes and stood. Brian moved and carefully helped Toby lay on the outer side of the bed, removing his goggles and face mask and setting the atop the medkit while Tim helped him with his shoes and set them beside the bed. Toby could feel his eyelids getting droopy then; and only when he half assedly helped Brian by kicking down the blankets as so he wasn't lying on them did he allow himself to relax fully and eyelids drop shut with a surprising force. The bed began to shift as Brian made his way over Toby and onto the inner part of the bed, Tim snapping off the light in the process.
He was sure that with the swiftness he had laid down and how quickly his eyes shut and body relaxed that the other two assumed Toby had drifted quickly to sleep. Toby did his best to stay calm, act natural with his eyes glued shut as Brian shifted and laid on the bed next to him. He didn't lay too close to the ticking young man, much to Toby's dismay; but Toby was elated regardless. He felt the blankets be dropped over them by who assumed to be Tim who still stood next to the bed as Brian settled in. Once everything went still was when Tim finally spoke.
"I'll sleep in his bed tonight," Toby heard him speak as he felt the edge of the bed move slightly; Toby realized that was because he was leaning over him, the sound of the two kissing momentarily reaching his ears, "so he doesn't wake up feeling crowded and have an anxiety attack or something."
Toby almost felt sad at the thought -- not upset he was taking both Tim's bed and boyfriend for the night, but because he wasn't joining them -- as Tim began to recall his frame, Brian giving a soft hum in response. Tim didn't fully remove himself from the bed, though. Toby could tell the man had paused to hover over him temporarily as if in thought. Again Toby's heart began to beat faster in his chest, worry and doubt quickly overcoming his once upset thoughts.
That didn't last too long, as suddenly the weight shifted without removing itself from the bed. Instead he felt a heat temporarily hover close to him -- a soft pair of lips touching his forehead if only for a brief moment before being removed as quickly as they touched him. Had he not been in shock, Toby might have squealed at such a touch.
"So sweet," he heard Brian mutter as Tim moved away.
Tim merely grunted in response before his footsteps retreated to the other side of the room until Toby could hear his bed and blankets being moved around. It wasn't until everything went silent, one of Brian's hands moving to carefully clasp Toby's shoulder, that Toby began to relax and drift off to the sleep to the sounds of his rapidly beating heart, soft breathing of his bunk mates and the rare silence of the voices in his head as if they were drowned out by Toby's flooded emotions of warmth and adoration.
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