"Casualty of Love" -- Jessie J
And I will go down to the last round
I'll be your strength to find you when you get lost in the crowd
So I'll, I'll stand up tall, and baby if I fall
Then I'll go down as a casualty of love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first being Georgie noticed when she arrived at the beach house was Sasha lounging on the deck on top of a cushiony bone-shaped pillow that was twice the size of her. The puppy looked quite comfortable laying on her side as she alternately enjoyed the view and napped. Walking over to her, Georgie knelt down to greet the adorable pup. The moment she touched Sasha's side, she rolled over to her back, four paws sticking straight up in the air. She wanted her belly rubbed. Chuckling, Georgie gave her just that.
"It has rapidly occurred to me that my daughter is hedonistic." Rich laughter followed the statement.
The blonde glanced over her shoulder. "Could she be taking her mother's lead?" Giving the warm belly a few more pats, she stood, turning just in time to see Jaden's shrug.
"I guess it's possible." Smiling, her eyes fell on the bag in Georgie's hand. "Aw, you didn't have to come bearing gifts." She batted long eyelashes as she pointed toward the bag. "That for me?"
"Yup, but I didn't buy it." She handed the bag to Jaden. "I've brought back the jacket you loaned me Friday night. It's been washed, dried and folded."
Jaden inhaled the jacket's clean smelling scent. "If I closed my eyes, it would be like I was standing in the middle of a field of flowers, the wind gently blowing their fragrance toward my nose. This jacket has never smelled so heavenly."
Her friend softly laughed. "You sure know how to make a girl feel good."
Smiling, Jaden placed her jacket back in the bag. "Though I'm always thrilled to see you, you're a little early for our Sunday surf lesson. Anxious to get started, huh?"
"Actually, I needed to tell you something."
Studying Georgie's face, the singer questioned why she hadn't noticed the red and swollen eyes. Reaching for her hand, she squeezed it. "Honey, what's wrong?" When she didn't answer in a timely fashion, Jaden pulled her inside the house and into the den where they sat on the couch. Quietly following the pair, Sasha took purchase on another bone-shaped pillow she had. However, this one was a different color. She closed her eyes as though she didn't want them to think that she had followed to eavesdrop on their conversation.
Releasing Georgie's hand, Jaden repeated her question. "What did you need to talk about? You realize that you can tell me anything, right?" When Georgie nodded, she softly smiled. "Okay, so whenever you're ready, just let it out." A full minute passed and she had yet to speak. "Would you like a glass of water?"
"Please," Georgie immediately answered, uttering her first word since being on the deck. Water sounded good. It might help relieve her parched throat. "Tap is fine."
"Nope, we don't believe in tap water in this house. Sasha and I only drink bottled water and that's what you'll get."
"See? You're spoiling her just like Bell and her brothers."
"Yeah, yeah." Grinning, Jaden waved a dismissive hand as she left the room. She returned with two bottles of Dasani, giving one of them to her friend. While Jaden took tiny sips of hers, Georgie gulped half the bottle. "Thirsty I see."
She nodded, twisting the cap back on. "Mmhmm." She inhaled a slow deep breath, held it as she silently counted to five and then let it flow from her mouth. "Jaden." When the other woman looked at her and smiled so sweetly, Georgie wanted to pull her into her arms and keep her there forever. "We've only known each other since April. And we truly didn't become friends until we met up in Hawaii last month. So, technically, our friendship began about three weeks ago, although it seems like it's been longer. And I mean that in a good way."
The brunette continued to smile. "I agree."
"Only three weeks and I care about you so much." Her head shook in amazement. "It happened so quickly."
"I care about you too, Georgie."
"Jaden," sighing, she drank more water and then put the bottle on the carpet. "My feelings run deeper than just caring." She waited to see if Jaden would say something, but she kept her mouth shut. "I love you. And when I say that, I mean that I'm in...I'm falling in love with you. It seems to grow stronger each day."
It was Jaden's turn to drink a little H2O. Love? She loves me? She wondered if she could be dreaming. She wondered if she wanted to be dreaming. Jaden concluded that if this were all a dream, it would be best. "Georgie, I love you too, but--"
On the drive to Malibu, Georgie repeatedly told herself that she wouldn't cry, but she could feel the tears starting to sting. "But as a friend, right? I understand that you don't feel the same way about me. I just couldn't bear to hide how I feel about you. I had to tell you, because every time that I would look at you, I'd think it. And despite how exposed I'm feeling, saying that I love you seems right."
"Though I feel honored to be loved by you--any woman should-- Georgie, I'm not the right one for you. You could do so much better."
"How could I possibly do better when you're the best? I've never had feelings this strong for anyone and I highly doubt that I ever will again." She pointed toward Jaden with a shaky smile on her tear-streaked face. "You're it."
Grabbing a tissue from a nearby box, Jaden dabbed at the younger woman's cheeks before kissing one of them. "Sweetheart, if I didn't have HIV this conversation would be going in an entirely different direction. I care about you, I love you and in case by some miracle you hadn't noticed, I'm very attracted to you. But I won't do anything about it. I wouldn't feel comfortable, which is why I've remained single all these years. Hey, you're young," she gently smiled. "You'll find someone else. Just give it time."
"I don't want to, Jae and even if I did, I couldn't. When I said that you were it, I meant that. You've spoiled me for every other woman on the planet." The musician had to release a soft chuckle. "I just needed you to know and I hope that doesn't make you feel awkward around me. I hope that we can still be friends."
"Always. You're too good of a friend for me to let you go. Could I have a hug?"
Georgie smiled a little brighter. "Anytime." Lessening the distance between them, she wrapped her arms around Jaden. She didn't notice the few tears that escaped her love's eyes.
Since the living room was empty when she entered the apartment, Georgie went to her roommate's bedroom and knocked on the door. Hopefully, she was home. Hearing a muffled 'come in', Georgie walked inside, soundlessly closing the door behind her. Turning to Vanessa, she gave her a small wave. "Hi."
The CNA waved back. "Hi, yourself." Dropping the novel that she really hadn't been reading because she was too distracted with thoughts centering on Georgie, she sat up on her bed. "I've been worried about you. Would have called, but you didn't take your phone."
"I forgot it." Georgie remained by the door, not certain that she was welcome to sit on Vanessa's bed after the way she behaved earlier. She was relieved just to have been granted access inside her friend's bedroom.
"I thought as much." After a pause, she asked, "Are you okay?"
"I will be if you forgive me for being an ass."
"It's okay. Your ass card isn't anywhere near being filled up for the year and we're halfway through it. I have ten more punches to make."
Georgie began to smile. "How many ass slots did I start with at the first of this year?"
"Twelve."
"Two out of twelve filled." The agent looked thoughtful. "And when was the other time I acted like an ass?"
Vanessa grinned as she replied, "When you wouldn't let me borrow your new white sweater back in February. I practically begged you on my hands and knees and yet you still shut me down with a resolute no."
"No, no, Van." Wagging a finger at the other woman, Georgie moved to the bed and took a seat. "You conveniently forget the rest of that. I had a white cashmere sweater and you told me that Craig intended to take you to the grand opening of a bar-b-que restaurant. I was afraid for my sweater because I could imagine you wasting hard-to-get-out thick red sauce all over it. Sorry, but I just couldn't take that chance."
"Uh huh. Regardless, that counts toward your ass card. And...maybe you should make a punch in mine."
"Why would I do that?"
"I have an apology to make too."
"An apology for being concerned about me? Van, that's ridiculous. You were only being a friend and I understand that now." Georgie leaned toward her to kiss her cheek. "And I love you for it."
The CNA smiled because of the sweet declaration and for the kiss. "I'm not convinced that it is ridiculous, babe. I was cynical and insensitive in my approach to prove to you that loving Jaden would eventually lead to heartache." When Georgie started to interrupt her, Vanessa pleaded with her friend to allow her to finish. Though her expression made it clear that she didn't want or need an explanation, Georgie nodded for her to continue.
"While you were gone I realized that my reaction to your confiding in me that you were falling love with Jaden was inappropriate," Vanessa paused, gathering her thoughts as she tucked long braids behind her ears. "I never should have told you that loving her was wrong. Love shouldn't be ignored. It's an emotion of the utmost importance and value. No matter what obstacles there might be, no matter how long it lasts, we should appreciate it while it's here because it is such a precious gift." Smiling, she added, "I think it was Michael Bolton who sang that love was a beautiful thing and he was right.
"Georgie, I'm so very sorry. You tried to talk to me and I feel like I let you down." Releasing a shuddering breath, Van blinked back tears. "Speaking of love, you're my greatest love. And let's not analyze that--it just is what it is. And because you are my greatest love, I want you to feel like you could come to me with anything."
"Van, I still do," Georgie whispered as a tear trickled from her eye. "Also, you haven't convinced me that an apology is necessary, so you won't be receiving any punches in your ass card."
Vanessa chuckled. "Think you should, but I can't force you."
Georgie agreed that she couldn't. "When I left, I went to Malibu and told Jaden how I felt about her."
"What did she say?"
"I didn't expect her to embrace the idea of us being a couple and unfortunately, I wasn't wrong." She smiled, though there wasn't a trace of happiness in it. "She's unwavering in her decision to not get involved with anyone and because she hasn't in the last decade, I don't think she'll be changing her mind." With a deep sigh, Georgie leaned back on the bed slipping her hands behind her head as she looked toward the ceiling. "I've had strong feelings for two women in my life. One lives in Malibu and the other in this apartment." Glancing toward Vanessa, she asked her, "Why do I fall for the unattainable ones?"
"Hmm, it must have something to do with the challenge. Perhaps that's why you can't get into Ronnie because you realize that she would welcome you with open arms in a heartbeat." Frowning in thought, Vanessa tapped a finger to her chin. "No wait. That's not completely true. You did get into her in the physical sense, but I'm sure you already figured out that's not what I meant."
She had barely finished speaking when a pillow slapped her in the face. She heard chuckling as she pushed it away. "You are so horrible!"
Vanessa grinned. "Yes, but we've been amigas for twelve years. So since you're sticking with me, my horribleness must not bother you too much."
Georgie grinned back. "Doesn't bother me at all."
"What's the lesson for today, coach?" Georgie asked as she walked into the beach house with a duffel bag draped over her shoulder. Her mouth gaped open when she heard the answer. "Today? Already?"
Hearing her friend's loud gulp, Jaden grinned, which might have a person thinking her a wee bit sadistic. "Yep. I think you're ready for that next step. But first, we need to figure something out so please accompany me to the kitchen." Once in the large kitchen, she asked Georgie to remove her shoes and although she appeared as though she wanted to question why, the real estate agent pulled off her sneakers and neatly placed them side by side on the waxed flooring.
"In order to know what direction you'll stand on your board, you have to figure out whether you're a goofy foot or regular foot. Most surfers are regular foots, which means that they surf with their left foot forward. So what I want you to do is get a running start and then slide across this floor. When you come to a complete stop, if you're left foot is in the lead then you are a regular foot too." Jaden moved out of the way and watched as Georgie prepared to slide. "Be careful 'cause it's a little slippery."
The floor sure was slippery. On her first attempt of the usually simple test, Georgie ended up on her backside. She came very close to crashing into the kitchen table. Fortunately, the only part of her that sustained a wound was her pride. How am I supposed to balance in the ocean on a surfboard if I have trouble sliding across a kitchen floor? Miles could do this! Asking if she was all right, Jaden pulled the smaller woman to her feet. Nodding, Georgie walked back to her starting point. That time she completed the test without a hitch and discovered that she too was a regular foot.
Once they changed into their swim gear and grabbed their surfboards, the pair headed to the beach where they did routine stretches. Usually once they were done stretching, they headed into the water, but today Jaden took a few extra minutes to show her student how to move into a standing position on her longboard. She figured practicing on the sand would give Georgie a basic idea of how to stand before she tried it in the shifting water.
Getting to her feet in the ocean proved to be much harder than it had been on the sand. Every time that she attempted to, her legs turned into jello, causing the blonde to plummet into the cool water. Now she knew what cookies with a glass of milk as a companion felt like. Georgie watched as Jaden gave her another demonstration. She made it look effortless as she fluidly jumped to her feet with the left foot in front, knees bent ever so slightly and arms stretched out at her sides.
"Don't lean back so far," she instructed as she placed her bottom back on the board. "You should lean forward a little." Jaden smiled encouragingly. "You can do this, Gigi."
With a deep breath, Georgie repositioned her body in the center of Neon Stretch (yet to be ridden, her beloved Flipper was tucked away in Jaden's garage) and grabbed onto the rails. "Okay," she said more to herself than the surf guru observing her form. Closing her eyes, she breathed even deeper as she gathered the courage to try standing again. Pretend you're on the sand. This isn't Mother Nature's pool--it's her sandbox.
Don't fall again. Green eyes focused on her board, Georgie used her strength to do a push up, bending her knees as she swung one leg underneath herself. Groaning a little, she leapt to her feet, making sure that she was standing sideways on the longboard with her left foot toward the nose. Her knees bending, she spread her arms out for balance. Georgie glanced down. Although her legs were shaking a tiny bit, she remained on the board. She grinned as Jaden began to clap and congratulate her. She was standing! On a surfboard! Totally gnarly.
Now what was next? "What's the next lesson, J-Co?" Carefully, Georgie straddled Neon Stretch again.
"I'll give you two options. One, you can practice standing and surfing through small breaks or as I call them baby waves or two, the rest of our time here this evening can be spent freestyle--which means that you may do whatever you want as long as it takes place in the ocean. Paddle around, body whitewater surf, swim etc."
"I opt for freestyle," the agent quickly replied. It was her opinion that she had fallen enough today. "I have a suggestion. You want to paddle out about fifty feet and then have a race? First person to paddle back to shore wins."
Jaden smiled and nodded. "What do they win?"
"Non winner makes dinner."
The musician pretended to look frightened. "Are you really gonna subject me to your food? Still ticked about the oysters?"
Georgie smirked. "If I lose, I'll buy you dinner. However, I don't plan on losing."
"You're such a positive little thing!"
"What did I say about calling me little?" Lying on their boards, they paddled away from the shore.
"I never listen to you." When Georgie tossed a handful of water in her face, their paddle race was shortly postponed as they proceeded to have a good old-fashioned water fight.
"How does this one look?" The expression meant for her could easily be read. Without words it inquired 'have you lost your mind'? "What's wrong with it?"
Vanessa tried to come up with the words to describe the eyesore sitting on top of her friend's head. It was a large purple fedora complete with leopard trim. "Well...it's umm...are you serious?"
Grinning, Georgie shook her head. "Not really. I wanted to get her a fun hat and she doesn't have one of these in her vast collection." Removing the fedora, she chuckled as she ran her hand along the soft material. "When she opens this on her birthday, I thought she would get a kick out of it. You don't think it's in the least bit appealing?"
"It might be if the person wearing it was a pimp straight out of 1975." They laughed as Vanessa took the hat and put it on top of her freshly braided head. "I can't wait to see Jaden's face when she opens your present."
"Neither can I." Looping her arm through Vanessa's, she led them toward the 'serious' headwear. While in Hawaii, Georgie decided that for Jaden's birthday she would purchase a variety of hats and caps for her. Unbeknownst to the upcoming birthday girl, Georgie snapped numerous pictures of her hat room after her surfing lesson two days ago. Once home, she loaded the photographs to her computer and then spent the next hour studying the types of headwear that Jaden owned.
Choosing to do their shopping together, the first store Georgie and Vanessa visited upon arriving at the mall was The Hat Fanatic. Asking her friend if she had any idea of what she wanted to get for Jaden, Georgie plucked a classic black Stetson from a rack. A smile formed as she imagined the musician wearing it with a pair of faded blue jeans. Jaden looked delicious in jeans. Actually, she would probably look delicious in anything that she wore. Or didn't wear. When did I become so perverted?
Since other customers milled around them, Vanessa walked closer to Georgie so that she could whisper in her ear. "I ordered her a special item from a catalog on Tuesday and I put a rush on it, so it should arrive by tomorrow. And I already know what I'm getting today." She winked. "That's my g-rated gift."
"Ah huh. And uh, what special item did you order?" Vanessa had been a subscriber to a catalog called Simply Sensual for two years now and Georgie suspected that whatever she purchased for Jaden could be found in that catalog. When told, she blushed to her roots because she had an instant picture of the gorgeous brunette using her birthday present from Vanessa. "Oh my God. For real?"
Chuckling quite evilly, she nodded, the 'pimp' hat on her head bouncing. "Yep. For real. I hope it'll be a good fit."
Deciding to purchase the Stetson, Georgie held on to it as they moved to another rack. "I think your present tops the reaction she'll have with the fedora."
"She might want to kill me though. Ooh, I like this one. It's snazzy." She showed Georgie a sky blue Kangol cap adorned with a couple sets of twin dark blue stripes. "And it's on sale."
"Cool. She has Kangol caps but not one exactly like this. I think she'll like it."
"How many are you intending to buy?"
"Ten. I thought that was a good number."
The CNA whistled. "And I've yet to spot a hat under twenty bucks. You must really be in love!"
Georgie added a black and white reversible skullcap to her loot. "Oh yeah."
"This is so beautiful, Van." First wiping her ketchup stained hands with a napkin, Georgie touched the leather bound journal that had Jaden's initials 'JNC' embossed in gold lettering across the center. Inside it were two-hundred unlined sheets of handmade ivory paper, which felt more like fabric. Gently closing the black journal, Georgie put it back into the gift box that the saleswoman had provided for Vanessa.
Dipping her wonton in sweet red sauce, Vanessa smiled. "Thanks, babe. I figured that she could use it to record any songs that she may create in the future or she could actually treat it as a journal and write down her reflections." Just before she put the wonton in her mouth she explained, "Such as 'today I realized that Georgina Anne Franklin is the hottest woman on this earth and therefore I would love to have the opportunity to share my new gift from Van with her. And no offense, but I'm not referring to you my dearest journal'." Dark eyebrows dancing with mischief, she chewed on her appetizer.
Immediately chuckling, Georgie had to wipe her spewed beverage from the table. Ah, I learned to be perverted from the master sitting before me!