Loki was starting to get really tired of them. The constant whispers in the background. He was familiar with them. He had heard them growing up.
Sif whispering with the warriors three: "Why does Thor always insist that Loki come with us?"
"I do not know," Fandral replied. "It's not as though he is of any help."
"And he is rather odd," Hogun added.
Truth be told, Loki was not entirely sure if he had heard that right or not. It sure seemed real right now though. He had to keep reminding himself, 'I am inside my own head. This is literally all in my head.'
Still Loki could not deny that all the scenes Yord had shown him where he himself had been present were true. He remembered them all. Who was to say the others were not true as well?
No! This is what she wanted.
Yes, Odin had sealed away Hela. The All-Father had admitted to it himself. Hela had committed horrible crimes though... and he had let her for a long time. It now seemed more likely that she had acted on his command.
Loki closed his eyes, trying to shut out the memories. Trying so hard. Doing everything in his power, as he always had. Behaving correctly... talking correctly... studying to keep up with Thor... But it was still Thor, Thor who got the smiles and the praise. The eagerness to greet him, the pride. Odin would proudly showcase all of Thor's progress but none of Loki's. Instead, he would hide it from the world.
"Darling." Yord laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Forgive me. This isn't what I wanted. Laufey was not supposed to kill me. I wanted to raise you."
"With stories of how horrible Odin is, no doubt," Loki interrupted.
"With the truth," Yord corrected as Loki turned around. "And with no intention of trying to change you. You are, after all, already perfect."
Loki closed his eyes, feeling Yord's gentle hands on his face, caressing him lovingly.
"Perhaps, together we could even have freed Hela, and we could have been together... as a family!" Yord smiled.
Loki's eyes widened, and he stepped back. "No!" he gasped. "You are only trying to tempt me!"
"Yes." Yord nodded. "You deserve only the best. You deserve to step out of the shadows and show the world all that you are capable of. Why shouldn't you aim for that?"
"Well... that... that is not for you to decide." Loki stated. "I can handle my own fate."
Yord sighed. "A shame, really. You could save them. You've been to Jotunheim, haven't you?" she asked.
Loki was quiet but nodded as they now found themselves at that snowy place.
"You have the power, you know," Yord breathed. "To save this dying realm. You may be the only one who can. In fact, that seems rather likely."
Loki glanced across the cold winterscape of that nearly dead world. A world where the inhabitants had to do whatever they could to survive... or perish.
Loki shook his head. "Laufey is king."
"A horrible king, leaving his own realm to rot. You though, are his rightful heir," Yord urged.
Loki hissed, "It is not right."
"In a world like this, it is kinder to rely on a necessary evil," Yord said. Loki halted, then turned to her. "People on Asgard would call a man like Ymir evil, but you saw, didn't you? What he brought, in this world. It was desperately needed," she explained. "Still is. A kind man will do them no good, no. They need a man with power and authority."
"Hm, a person like me, you say?" Loki asked. Then he shook his head. "Whatever would I want with a block of ice like this?"
"Do what Odin could not," Yord offered. "Rebuild it. Bring peace. Be their savior. Odin only ever brought death and destruction. Then, when he grew tired of it, he hid himself behind grand walls. You can do more. He won't be pleased though, that you outmatched him and his own blood. He always feared it."
Loki didn't reply. There was truth in her words that could not be denied.
"Laufey must go if Jotunheim is to flourish once more," Yord said. "You knew this already. You've known it for a long time."
"Removing him would be considered breaking the peace," Loki countered.
"What other option is there?" Yord asked. "Besides, you are not just a prince of Asgard but also a prince of Jotunheim. Your claim to their throne is just."
Loki was quiet, taking in the icy landscape in front of him.
Thor's eyes widened. The chain around Loki's wrist was back, and it looked stronger than before. "Loki!" he gasped. "Loki, this is not what you want. Break free! Loki!"
Loki shook his head. It was odd. It seemed like the wind was echoing a voice... but it was so distant.
"Asgard will only ever accept you as long as you behave and act the way they want you to," Yord stated. "Odin only loves you for as long as you serve his purpose. Thor thrives on being your hero. He doesn't want you to rise on your own. He needs his little brother. As for the young warriors, they only accept you because Thor demands it. Frigga..."
At that, Loki turned to her with wide eyes.
"She has never even gazed upon your true face," Yord breathed, holding Loki's face, and he already knew he was blue now. "She tried to change you... to become like her... like Odin, raised you to be like him. Loki, I only want you to be yourself. I love you."
Loki swallowed, a tear running down his blue, cold chin.
"Oh, my child... my beautiful, wonderful child." Yord slipped her fingers through his hair. "I am so sorry you had to endure so much sadness. Forgive me. Forgive me for leaving you. At least I could ensure that you would live... and be able to claim what is rightfully yours."
Loki shook his head as he stepped backwards, away from Yord's hands.
"Darling," Yord pleaded.
"No... Go away." Loki's voice broke. "This is not what I... what I..."
"But you do." Yord smiled. "You do want it. Why deny that? You are just doing what Odin, Frigga and Thor want once again, but what do you want?" she asked. "You want this. And you can have it! You can become their hero, and they will kneel to you."
Loki clinched his teeth, trying to calm his burning desire. She was right. He wanted it. And why shouldn't he? It was his right. Why should he always have to dance to Odin's tune? He had done it for all his life, and it had never been enough.
Hela had done it, and what had happened to her? Cast away and forgotten. Spend an entire lifetime pleasing the man and then what happens when he changes plans? Loki took a steadying breath, trying to get his feelings under control, but he could not deny it. What Yord said was true. It was all true!
Loki gasped as he turned and ran away, ran away from the woman. He was in the palace now, running as fast as he could. Running.
"There he is!" The Einherjar shouted. "Jotunn scum!"
Loki hissed as he swirled his hands. Change... have to change... Why though? Why did he have to change, wear a disguise? Why?
"Loki!"
Loki turned to see the blond Thunder God in front of him, hammer in hand.
"Where is MY BROTHER?!" Thor roared.
Loki gasped. "Thor..." he tried. "It... It's me! I..."
"Lying Jotunn scum!" Thor shouted, thrusting down his hammer, and Loki covered his face with his arms. Only as he slowly lowered his arms, did he realize they were bound by heavy chains.
In front of him, on his mighty throne was Odin himself. "Loki, what have you done?" he asked.
"What have I done? What have you done, Odin?" Loki roared.
"You will return to a proper form at once. Stop this nonsensical magic, and we shall never speak of this again," Odin admonished.
"Oh, it's so simple, isn't it? Lock away my true nature so you won't have to look at it?" Loki spat. "Pretend that I am a proper little spare. And if I refuse, you'll just send me to join my dear sister. Hah!"
"Stop this foolishness," Odin ordered.
Loki seethed. "My birthright is to be king. Why should I not claim what is rightfully mine?"
"Your birthright was to die on an icecap!" Odin bellowed.
There was silence, a deafening silence.
Loki smiled a tight-lipped smile. "I see.... You saved a poor, defenseless babe, so now you are free to do what you will with him... make of him what you wish. And if he fails to conform to your mold... dispose of him." He looked up, his eyes locking with Odin's. "I see now. Finally, I see."
And Yord appeared, standing next to Odin, a smile on her lips as slowly she walked to Loki. Then she wrapped her arms around him. "Well done, my beautiful, beautiful son," she sighed. "You will change the world... like I always knew you would."
Loki closed his eyes, allowing himself to sink into her soft, warm embrace. "Mother..." he whispered.
Slowly Loki opened his eyes to the faint glimpses of daylight through the window.
"Lo-Loki," a familiar voice gasped.
Loki turned his head and saw Thor, looking down at him with wide eyes.
"No! Loki, you cannot be awake yet!" Thor insisted. "The chains... They are... They are still there!"
Loki glanced down to see odd magic chains around him. Then he frowned as he sat up.
"Loki!" Frigga rushed towards him, grabbing his shoulders. "Dear heart, are you..." she tried.
Loki looked at her, then smiled. "I am fine, Mother," he assured her.
There was tension in the room. Everyone looked apprehensive as he glanced around. The warriors three and Sif stood rigid, and Odin's blue eye was stern. Loki looked at the old king. Then he chuckled. He couldn't help it as he laughed, holding his forehead.
"Loki?" Thor asked with growing concern.
Odin frowned, the wrinkles in his forehead deepening. "Loki," he spoke in a warning tone.
Loki's smile turned to a frown, his eyes dead serious. Then he vanished.
"Loki!" Thor screamed.
"Teleportation," Frigga gasped. "He's..." She closed her eyes. "I believe he's in the halls of history."
Odin's eye widened. "Is he..."
Thor didn't need to hear anything else, and he took off running.
Indeed, Loki was in the halls of history taking in all the beautiful paintings showcasing the prosperity of Asgard, how they had built the palace and grown the trees. They told a story of peace and tranquility.
Then Loki lifted his hands and allowed the outer layer to crack. Paint crumbled and fell, and suddenly other colors emerged.
Red. A woman with a horned helmet wielding her ax, chopping off the heads of people on Odin's command. They were standing in line.
Blood. Destruction. Fire.
"It's true," Loki breathed as the blue crumbled and the darker story underneath was revealed. "It's—hah!—it's all true!" he shouted. He laughed in hysterics as he fell to his knees. "Odin, peace bringer!" He spread out his arms, laughing still. "What a joke!"
Thor ran in, then stopped wide eyed as he saw it, gaping as he looked up. "What in the—?"
"Oh, did Father dear forget to tell you?" Loki asked pointing up. "That is our sister right there! Hah! You know what he asked her to do?"
Thor shook his head.
"Kill! She killed for him. He was the one who asked her to do it," Loki said. "And she did... On his command. Oh, she killed... so much so she really developed a taste for it. And then, when he changed his mind, off she goes to Niflheim. Still there to this day. Nice fairy tale, isn't it?"
Finally, the others came running in.
"Oh, hello! Good to see you have come to join the party." Loki laughed, standing up, only to stagger.
"By the Norns," Fandral gasped, looking at Loki. "He's... he's gone mad."
Loki grinned, unaware that his grin really did look mad, his black hair falling down his face not helping as he staggered forward. "Mad?" he asked. "No... Finally, I see clearly." He laughed.
"Loki! It's not over. You can still break free," Thor pleaded. "Free of Yord's curse!"
"What curse?" Loki asked. "It is a blessing. It has kept me safe and ensured that I shall be able to claim what is rightfully mine. Thanks to her, I will not die until my fate has been fulfilled!" He grinned, spreading out his arms as he looked up at the ceiling. "Oh Mother! Mother has protected me. Always."
"Loki." Odin stepped forward.
Loki only sneered at Odin.
"Search your mind," Odin tried. "This is not you talking... This is not what you desire."
"As if you have any idea what I desire," Loki snarled. "And if you did, as if you cared... Well, now let them see. Let them all see what you tried to hide." At that, his skin turned from pale to blue, his eyes from green to red. "No longer, Odin, shall I be your tool!" He held out his hand, and from it sprung a blade made of ice. Then he grinned as he ran straight for Odin.
"Loki!" Thor shouted.
"Stand back!" Odin demanded as he blocked the blade with his spear.
"Loki!" Frigga cried.
Loki didn't seem to hear anything though, as he just laughed and attacked again. Odin blocked his blow again.
"Protect the king!" Sif suddenly shouted, drawing her sword.
"No!" Thor screamed, but it was too late. Suddenly all four young warriors came running to their king's aid. "Stop!" Thor shouted. "Don't hurt my brother!" He ran forward.
"Thor!" Frigga grabbed her oldest son's shoulder. "Don't."
"Mother." Thor turned to her with tears in his eyes. "It's not too late! He can still..."
Frigga shook her head. "Beloved, stand back."
Loki was an impressive fighter, managing to hold his ground, but there were still five against one, and finally he was subdued, brought to his knees. Sadly, Odin looked at him, then fell to his knees, only for Loki to spit at him.
"Loki..." Odin sighed. "Remember, only a few days ago... you asked me to do something for you." He swallowed. "You made me promise."
"I was a fool, still blinded by your words," Loki seethed.
"You were in your right mind," Odin informed him. "And I will honor my son's wishes." A tear formed in his eye and then fell down his cheek.
"Father..." Thor breathed, but it was too late as Odin drew forward a glowing hand. "Father, no!" he shouted.
Then Odin touched Loki, and the next moment, the dark-haired prince was gone.
"NOOOOO!" Thor wailed, running forward.
"Thor!" Sif managed to grab the prince. "Stop it! It's what he wanted."
"Where did you send him?" Thor asked. "Where did you send him?!" he roared.
"Don't worry, Thor. He is not far away," Odin assured him. "Merely the prison cellar."
"He hasn't done anything wrong!" Thor shouted. "You cannot do this!"
"He asked me to, Thor," Odin said sternly, and Thor halted. Then Odin reached in his cape and found a letter, a green envelope with a tight seal. "He asked me to give you this as well," he informed him, offering Thor the letter.
Wide eyed, Thor looked at Odin, then the sealed letter. He took it with a shaking hand, then broke the seal and pulled out a piece of parchment. The writing on it... It looked so familiar. Thor would recognize it anywhere. Neat and orderly. Loki's handwriting. Slowly, he started to read.
Dear Brother,
If you are reading this, it means I failed my mission. It means I was unable to break the chains of fate, and the person you see in front of you is not me. It is a puppet, a poor mindless thing bound to the strings controlled by a dead woman. It may look like me. It may even sound like me, but it is not me. I am me, in this letter.
If this is what is to happen, I asked Odin to lock me away. In truth, what I really wished to ask him was to kill me if I am to turn into a puppet, but I knew Odin would refuse. And you would not let him.
Thor, I know your faith in me is unwavering. You have proven that many times over. I ask now, as I am in full possession of my reason, do not let that other me soil my name. Don't let him hurt you or bring about irreversible damage. If you have faith in me, have faith that I know what I am saying. You must allow Odin to lock me away, and you cannot act to free me.
Thor, I ask your forgiveness. You asked my help, in the future, to make a better Asgard. I promised I would help. You reading this letter means that promise has been broken. I am sorry. Thor, I don't want you to stop. I want you to go on without me and become a great king.
Remember the brother you lost. Remember our times together and how grateful I am for all you have given me. Forget about the sad creature before you. Lock him away and don't look back. He isn't me.
My last few years have been difficult. There were many things I thought I knew, but I did not. However, one thing was a constant. I was never even allowed to doubt. You wouldn't let me. Not even now. There is not a single doubt in my mind, that I am your brother, and for that, you have my eternal gratitude.
It has been an honor to be your brother. I hereby release you from that bond. You are the sole heir to the throne now. Be strong. Move forward. Don't look back.
Loki
Thor was shaking. His entire body was shaking as he dropped the letter, and it fell to the ground. Then he fell to his knees. Tears streamed down his face. "No..." he breathed. "Loki, no!" he shouted, grabbing his face as thunder erupted outside and then a heavy rain.
"Thor." Sif sat down beside him.
"He's not dead!" Thor gasped. "He's... he's right there!" he gasped. "He hasn't done anything! He was... right there."
Sif swallowed. Then slowly she leaned forward and embraced Thor. "I know," she assured him.
What else was there to say? Loki was gone, and yet he wasn't gone. How could Thor even wrap his head around that? How could he proceed?