[ 8th November, 2018, 3:10PM ]
jaehyun woke up and finally the first person on his mind wasnt his bestfriend, kang aeri. for the past week, he had been struggling on keeping her off his mind. and finally today it worked. and as for aeri, she was indeed getting better. she started to tell herself that nothing would ever happen between them and her heart started to ache less.
well, in the end, she was still hurting, of course. but just not as much as it did before. both aeri and jaehyun wanted to move on from the situation. jaehyun was moving on just fine but aeri on the other hand, she came to terms the other day that one way or another she would always have this soft spot for her bestfriend.
one way or another, aeri believed that a small part of her would always look at jaehyun in a different light. and it's alright if he didnt feel the same. she came to terms with it, and finally she found it easier to go through her day without thinking of him all the time.
jaehyun regretted alot about what he did at the party. if he could turn back time, instead of walking off when kunhang came over, he wouldve stayed and got to know him better, that way he would still be with aeri throughout the party. even till today, jaehyun had no idea how much that day hurt aeri. and he wont know anytime soon.
not only it was because of how she saw him sleeping with another girl. but she had an encounter with mark lee, her ex boyfriend. and for the first time, she stood up to him, without jaehyun being there for her. he missed out on all of that. and aeri did want to tell him all about it, but then when she ran upstairs at the party, she saw how jaehyun clearly had other plans.
plans that were worth leaving her and jungwoo all alone downstairs.
anyway, when jaehyun woke up, the first thing he did was check his phone. yes, he woke up at 3pm because his finals were over and there were practically no lessons for him. plus, he actually woke up at 9am but he went back to sleep at 11.
no notifications from aeri or jungwoo. but there were tons from soomin. it was about like ten text messages, and like two from minsu. jaehyun ignored it for the time being. he went on instagram to check what his friends were up to, and when he clicked on aeri's story, he saw her hanging out with kunhang and jungwoo. he just pursed his lips, he didnt say much.
he didnt even think too much of it. he knew not to overreact because there was clearly a good reason why he wasnt invited, because he didnt know about kunhang. plus, the story was like two hours ago. he was still fast asleep, it didnt mean anything to him. scrolling on instagram here and there, he realized he was still following his ex girlfriend on that app.
finally, the moment we all have been waiting for, his heart was no longer beating fast for her, nor was his heart aching everytime he saw her. he just laughed to himself, and then he went on and unfollowed her. finally, after four years. he mustered the courage.
then he finally went to look over at his messages.
—
soomin has sent you a message
i cant stop thinking about that night
soomin has sent you a message
i still havent told anyone about it
soomin has sent you a message
are u sure u dont want a round two?
soomin has sent you a message
ill be better
—
jaehyun rolled his eyes. he didnt know how many times he had to tell her that it was a mistake. he was so close onto blocking her number, he didnt know why she was still so caught up about everything. he moved on, why couldnt she? it bothered him so much because she wouldnt leave him alone. this was the reason why he was afraid to hook up with a close friend.
—
sending a message to minsu
fuck u
minsu
what the fuck?
jaehyun
literally fuck u
minsu
wtf dude
jaehyun
why did u tell me that soomin wanted
a fuck the other night
minsu
CAUSE U SAID U WANTED TO GET LAID???
jaehyun
yea but now she wont leave me alone
minsu
OMFG WTF
jaehyun
?
minsu
U ACTUALLY FUCKED?
jaehyun
yea i told her it was a mistake the next day
minsu
OMGGGGGG JAE WTF
jaehyun
why are u so surprised... u were the one
that wanted it to happen
minsu
omg dont be putting words into my mouth rn
minsu
thats literally fake news
jaehyun
yea... can u tell her to hop off my dick?
minsu
why cant u tell her that urself
jaehyun
she literally wont leave me alone. i told
her off like five times this week already
minsu
there must be a reason she keeps
coming back for more...
minsu
😏
jaehyun
for fucks sakes
jaehyun
bye.
—
jaehyun threw his phone aside, and finally went on with his afternoon. he didnt have much things to do anyway. he just needed to run some errands, buy some milk, chips and maybe more instant microwaveable food. his apartment was running out of food to eat because he was stress eating the past week.
meanwhile, aeri was at home doing homework. indeed she met up with jungwoo and kunhang earlier because jungwoo wanted to meet kunhang and kunhang kind of missed the both of them alot. they had such a fun time. they went to have brunch and then window shopping.
half of the time it was just jungwoo jumping up and down excitedly everytime he found something nice but then realized he needed to be more responsible with his money. he had been spending recklessly, all of it on online shopping.
since kunhang lived far away from all of them, jungwoo sent aeri home instead. they had a good time together. everyday aeri felt so thankful that god made her meet kunhang. like i said, there indeed was a connection, but like platonically, you know? she never felt this happy when she was friends with jiyeon.
and she had been friends with jiyeon for like 18 years.
—
[ 8:58PM ]
aeri woke up from her nap to sounds of rocks being hit against her window. yes, she was supposed to be doing homework. but the questions confused her and she decided to take a short 10 minute nap which turned to four hours. she totally forgot about her homework, since someone was clearly trying to break in her house.
she forced herself out of her bed, shuffled towards her window and slowly opened it. her eyesight got clearer everytime she rubbed her eyes. and then she saw jung jaehyun standing right below her house, the same spot he would always be when he would throw rocks at her window. he was wearing basketball shorts and a plain tank top. half-assedly wearing a grey hoodie.
he smiled sheepishly, waving at aeri. just the other day aeri was thinking of jaehyun and how he used to do stupid things like this to get her attention. "are you ready to go for a walk now?" jaehyun uttered, loudly for both of them to hear themselves. aeri just let out a soft chuckle, shaking her head at him.
"i thought you forgot all about it," aeri joked around. hands in his pocket, he said, "i would never,". then aeri just grabbed her sweater before sneakily crawling out of her window, one leg at a time. the first few times when aeri tried to do this, it wasnt a lie that she did sprain a few ankles and wrists here and there.
but as time kept moving forward, she got used to it and learned how to jump out a window without hurting herself anymore. slowly, but surely. she finally jumped down with careful precision. she landed with a loud thud, thankfully not breaking any parts of her.
"wow, you got good at this huh?" jaehyun teased, nudging her shoulder as she went to adjust her clothes and stuff. she just stood there and looked at the boy in front of her. and she felt her heart warm up. but all she did was sigh. she couldnt do anything about it anyway.
and with that, they both took a walk to their usual spot.
—
"have i ever told you about my first love, aeri?" was the first thing jaehyun said to aeri the moment they both got comfortable on the park bench. with chocolate milk packets in their hands that they both got from the vending machine on the way there, they both held onto the drinks tightly. well, just aeri.
because for the first time ever, she felt this sense of awkwardness between the two of them. usually, when they were quiet, no one would feel uncomfortable. because it was the kind of quiet that you knew spoke volumes. but this time it's different.
maybe it's because of the fact that she knew a secret of his that he didnt plan on telling her ever. maybe it's exactly that. or maybe it's also because of the fact that they havent spoke to each other in real life for about a week. the last time they sat side by side like this was probably the night of the party.
aeri shook her head. and then looked over to him, who was looking over at the duck pond. there was a short moment of silence before he spoke again. "i was probably like fourteen when it happened," he started to open up. "she was my first ever friend i made in middle school," she just listened intently.
remember when she said when the sun sets, another side of jaehyun comes out? it's happening right now. "we became so close so fast. it's like in another life, i was sure we would be soulmates," he said, then he took a sip of his drinks. meanwhile aeri was just biting on her straw the whole time.
"we did everything together. watch movies, go to dinner, lunch. we would text and call everyday and be there for each other— but then one day she stopped doing all of that," he exclaimed. "and sooner or later, i found myself doing the same to her," he continued.
"we grew apart and just forgot about stuff that didnt matter, i guess," he let out a soft laugh, then looking down on the floor. "my first love. the love that you experience when you're young, you know? and then when you grow older you're so sure that it wasnt love," and before he could finish his sentence.
aeri interrupted, "but it was what you knew love to be," and they both said that together in unison. jaehyun looked right at her, she did the same. she just smiled sheepishly. looking at her smile, he did the exact same thing. "i assume yours was jaemin?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.
she pouted, then looked away from him, just so she could think. and then she shrugged, trying to throw him off. but it didnt work of course. they were bestfriends. "oh come on. i saw you with jaemin all the time when i used to work at the cafe, you were a freshman," he nudged her shoulder, rolling his eyes. trying to get an answer out of her.
"yeah, he was my first love," she finally admitted, emphasizing on the was. "the kind of love you thought was probably just a fling. but no matter what, it would always mean something to you," she continued to speak. jaehyun just sat there and nodded. he casually placed his arm right behind aeri, just on the bench.
"i've only been in love twice," he confessed. aeri looked at him and then laughed. "really? the jung jaehyun, only has been in love twice?" she was shocked, she would never think a boy like him would only have been in love twice when he's already 21. and he proudly smiled.
"well, i guess you can count me in on it," aeri said. of course, na jaemin; her first love. and mark lee, her second. who could never forget? jaehyun would never forget. he practically saw her all the time in the cafe, going through each relationship. and at the end of the day when she got hurt by those boys, he would always be there for her.
jaehyun let out a chuckle, and then looked down at her. the two of them just staring at each other. but no one was doing anything. "well i guess we both are waiting for our third and last love, right?" he pursed his lips, showing his deep dimples. aeri nervously chuckled, she wanted to avoid the question but it was hard for her without jaehyun questioning why.
then jaehyun went on to place his hand on her head and made her slowly rest her head on his shoulder. his arm wrapped around her shoulder. aeri didnt know how to react at first because it caught her off guard. but eventually she went on with what he was doing. "you will find someone, aeri, i promise," he sighed. slowly patting on her shoulder to calm her down.
aeri's heart felt warm. and despite having an awkward tension between them, aeri would still rather be in his presence than anywhere else. this side of jaehyun always got to her. it always made aeri so happy. this was the jaehyun she found her heart beating fast for in the first place.
yes, she did come to terms with the fact that they would never be together. no, she wasnt coping well about it. aeri believed that maybe in another lifetime, they both would work out. she hoped that in another lifetime, they werent bestfriends but lovers. because how else was it possible for her to feel this deep connection with him?
"you will too jae, and she'll make you feel so happy," aeri spoke. she found herself crying when those words came out of her mouth. why was she crying? she was doing such a good job already moving on. then jaehyun noticed the change in her voice and looked at her, with tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.
he gasped, "why are you crying, aeri? did i say something mean again?" he was shocked. this wasnt the first time happening. in fact, it's the second now. aeri just wiped her tears, and then laughed, trying to lighten up the mood. "no, im just so sad," she confessed. well, that part was correct, she wasnt lying when she said that.
jaehyun asked why, holding her by her shoulders. "what if you find your last love and then you push me aside?" was what aeri came up with. she had to lie. in no way was she about to say the truth. jaehyun let out a soft "aw," before pulling her in for a hug, swaying her left and right. aeri sniffled into his chest.
"i would never leave you, aeri. i promise, okay?" jaehyun promised. aeri pulled away from the hug. "you've made so many promises to me, jae. what if you break them?" she asked, wiping her eyes again. "then stab me in the chest and leave me to die," he joked around with her. she just rolled her eyes. but then jaehyun reassured her again and again and again, that he would try his best not to break any of his promises.
completely forgetting the fact that he already broke one- that he would never hurt her again. the first promise broken, the night of the halloween party. but jaehyun didnt know about it. so aeri just had to live with the fact that he would never know about it. she just looked at him again, and then pulled him for another hug.
all aeri could think to herself was — maybe in another life, we would be happy, jae. i guess it's just not this life; the one we have now. in the meantime, i hope time heals what's broken between us.