before you / jung jaehyun

forty four

[ 6th January, 2019, 01:11AM ]

after what happened during new years, everything went sideways. people became awkward with each other. for instance, aeri and jaehyun stopped speaking. on the first, jaehyun sent aeri back home. she was tired, after crying and pouring her heart out. so jaehyun hailed a cab and let her sleep on his shoulder till she reached home.

the three of them planned to go for dinner and exchange presents, remember? aeri and jaehyun went to the dinner that night and acted like as if everything was fine. they acted like nothing weird happened between them. and then after dinner, they separated ways and now it had been a week since they last spoke to each other.

that was the last time they saw each other. no one texted or called. it just ended with a, "get home safe," and they never spoke again. aeri went home that night crying. it was hard for her to look at jaehyun and not feel her heart beat out of her chest. she still couldnt believe she let herself become so vulnerable around him.

that's what jaehyun made her feel. vulnerable.

aeri never told anyone about what happened on new years. there were many times where she wanted to tell jaemin but then she just never got the heart to do it. she never checked up on her phone anymore because she didnt feel like it. nor did she tell jungwoo because she felt like a burden if she did. what went on was between her and jaehyun. she didnt want to get anybody involved.

in jaehyun's case, he spent his entire week locked up in his apartment, playing the scene over and over and over again in his head. i'm in love with you, her voice would linger in his head. and then he would feel his heart beat faster and faster every single time he replayed it again at the back of his mind.

he spent the whole week deciding on his feelings. "do i like her?" "do i only feel like this because i've been lonely for so long?" "do i want her around?" "do i love her?" all those questions, he asked himself for a week straight.

the thing with jaehyun is, he doesnt fall in love easily. and if he does, it means he must have truly felt something for that particular person. it took him six months to figure out that he had feelings for chungha. they werent bestfriends, they met through mutual friends.

but then they started hanging out as a clique, and one day he just saw her differently. in their case, jaehyun fell first. it took him a few months to get in touch with his feelings. and thank god, his feelings were reciprocated. the rest is history.

there was no denying, that yes, there have been days where jaehyun would light up at the thought of aeri, at the sight of her. but that's just because he always believed that that's what bestfriends do to each other. they make each other feel happy.

so where does one draw the line between friendship and love?

that's what he has been asking himself all week long. and he finally found an answer. at 1 in the morning, he found an answer.

—
[ 7th january, 2019, 7:01PM ]

"yes, mom, i'm at the bridge,"

"alone?"

"yes,"

"why dont you go with jaemin?
or jaehyun?"

"they're busy, mom,"
"and i wanted to go here myself,"
"you know, just look at the
sunset for a while,"
"i havent done that in a long time,"

"that's because you just lock
yourself in the room!"

"i told you, i'm just tired, okay?
i have assignments,"