Isla's POV
"Isla! Calm down!" Elliot exclaimed, holding my hands as I pushed against his chest.
"No! No, I can't!" I sobbed, frantically gasping in breaths of air.
"You can't what? I'm here. You're fine. Just breath. Here," he spoke, placing my hand on his chest and taking in a deep breath. I followed his breathing, trying to calm myself. I didn't care that I was staring at him, getting lost in his steely grey eyes.
"She- there was- I could've."
Elliot looked thoroughly confused as I spurted words out of my mouth. His hands were warm as they held mine and I noticed my body was shaking.
"Mon amour, you need to calm down," he said softly, pushing the hair out of my face. The locks were plastered to my skin from the cold sweat.
No matter how much I tried, I couldn't calm myself and I could tell Elliot was panicking too. He didn't know what was wrong with me. His brows furrowed in concern as he spoke, but I couldn't make out what he was saying.
I pulled my hands away from him, yanking open the side table's drawer. The pills rattled as I grabbed the bottle, shaking out two cylindrical capsules. Elliot opened his mouth to protest as I swallowed them dry, my hands shaking out of control.
"Just. Give it time." I panted, clenching my hands into fists. I caught him by surprise as I ducked under his arm, curling into a trembling ball on his lap.
It felt like hours passed before I stopped shaking and my heartbeat slowed into the normal range. Elliot shifted under me as I sat up, wrapping the blanket around my shoulder.
My body ached for some odd reason and my eyelids felt heavy, as if someone dumped a load of fatigue on me.
"You okay?" Elliot asked, holding my face in his hands so he could look at my eyes. I nodded, unable to speak.
"Mon dieu Isla, you scared me so bad," he muttered, breathing deeply as he nuzzled my hair. "Your eyes, they were so panicked and I got so worried."
"I'm sorry," I whimpered, holding him tighter.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
I stared at him in confusion before he lifted the bottle of pills.
"It was after the closing gala," I muttered, cracking my knuckles. I heard him take in a breath, letting it out in a long exhale.
"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," he stated, a serious look crossing his face and I nodded with a meek smile.
"I had a dream," I spoke after a moments silence. "About Marleen."
I couldn't see Elliot's face as I rested my head against his chest, our legs tangled together.
"Was today..." he trailed off, realization hitting him. I nodded against his chest.
"I'm so sorry Isla. I should've known," he mumbled.
"It's alri-"
"No!" he exclaimed, pushing me away and getting up. "It's not okay! I should've known! About the anxiety and even today. I saw how you were sleepy all the time, you didn't smile as much, you even stopped baking and coming down to the common area on Fridays to play guitar. I should've known, all the signs were there. But I was too caught up with myself I didn't see it. "
"No, stop. You couldn't have," I spoke, a tear falling down my cheek. "I chose not to tell you. There was no way you could've done anything to change what happened."
"Bu-"
"Shut up," I interrupted. "Shut up, or I will slap you. Thank you for being here. You're the only one who's ever been able to handle my panic attacks. Even my mom couldn't, she would always leave the room because it was too much to handle."
"Of course I'll be here, I-" he stopped himself, looking away. I stared at him curiously, what was he going to say?"
"Do you want to go somewhere?" he asked suddenly, glancing up at the clock. "Not now of course, you need to rest."
"Um, sure why not?" I replied, making him smile.
"I love that about you, always up for an adventure."
"What can I say, it should be my middle name," I smiled.
"Be ready by 8, dress fancy."
"Yes sir," I saluted, climbing into bed.
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"How the hell can you even walk in those?" Elliot asked, looking down at my heels.
"Practice," I grinned, linking my arm through his. I was dressed in a dark blue satin dress with lacing down the back. It was a cold night, but bearable enough to wear something that revealing.
We had just finished eating dinner at a fancy restaurant, definitely a 5 star. Elliot made me have escargot after I had explicitly said I wouldn't eat it. It was still not my cup of tea. According to him I "wouldn't be adventurous" if I didn't try it at least once. Turns out, he didn't like it either.
I glanced over to Elliot, unconsciously moving closer to him as we walked. I stopped walking as I noticed what he was wearing. The same navy blue coat over a white dress shirt with a navy waistcoat that I had seen in the ravine.
"Something wrong?" he asked, turning to look back at me.
"No," I smiled, shaking my head. Something in my mind just wanted to touch his chest, and I really didn't know why. Stupid female hormones.
"Are we going to the Eiffel?" I asked after a moment.
"How did you know?" he asked, whipping his head around to look at me.
"I, I don't know," I mumbled, furrowing my brows in confusion.
"Can't keep anything a secret from you, can I?" he teased, bumping my shoulder. We walked down the steps to the square that was slowly emptying out.
"Wait here," he said, hurrying back up the steps before I could protest.
"Ok then," I muttered, kicking my leg out slightly and tapping my heel on the ground. I smiled to myself as I took in my surrounding. A band was playing music in the corner, sounding across the plaza. Every know and then, laughter could be heard as families and friends conversed around me. The clinking of glass and cutlery joined in the buzz in the atmosphere. Elliot was gone about 5 minutes before he returned.
"Here," he smiled, a soft dimple making its occasional appearance on his right cheek. I took the cup of warm liquid from his hands, immediately feeling its warmth spread through my chilled fingers.
"What is it?" I asked, looking at him as I brought it up to my lips. My eyes widened and a smile took over my face as I tasted the nostalgic liquid.
"Hot chocolate, thank you!" I exclaimed, answering my own question.
We walked around leisurely, taking in the moment and our surroundings. Before we knew it, it was already 10. The shops had cleared out and were starting to put up the chairs and wipe down tables. I tossed my hot chocolate into the trash can, walking back to Elliot. He grabbed my hand in his and we continued to walk.
"Wow, they're warm," he chuckled, rubbing his thumb over my hand. My stomach flip-flopped and I bit down on my lip to keep from grinning like a maniac.
"I love this song," I laughed as the band began to play La Vie en Rose.
"Cliché," Elliot teased, looking down at me. I gazed up at him, noticing how his eyes crinkled in the corner when he smiled or laughed.
"Has anyone told you how handsome you are?" I blurted, looking up at him. He looked taken aback for a moment before he smirked.
"Of course I have," he responded and my cheeks burned with embarrassment. He laughed as I hid my face in his shoulder, groaning in annoyance.
"Care to dance?" he asked, suddenly spinning me around.
"Dance?" I asked as he pulled me back towards him, his hand going to my lower back as mine rested on his chest.
"I owe you two," he replied, referring to the two balls where he had abandoned me.
"Yeah, you do," I replied and he ducked his head sheepishly. The song ended and he pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms around. We swayed side to side as another song began. I closed my eyes, listening to his heartbeat. The scent of his perfume calmed me.
It was an odd feeling, being so close to another human being who wasn't related to you. It was even weirder for me, considering I didn't have many male friends. I was lost in my own world, I almost missed the words Elliot whispered in my ear.
"What?" I asked suddenly, pushing myself away from his chest to look up at him. His eyes twinkled with humor.
"Je t'aime," he repeated, holding my face in his hands gently.
I didn't know what to say as I stared up at him. This was exactly what I'd seen in my dream. It was impossible. déjà vu.
"You don't have to say anything. We French are known to move very fast in relationships," he joked, tucking a strand of my hair away. He wasn't wrong, the words 'I love you' held significantly less weight in French society as opposed to American society.
"Make it happen." Marleen's voice echoed in my ear. But she only knew part of my dream to dance under the Eiffel Tower. The second part was to be kissed, and that was up to me this time.
I leaned up on my tippy toes, pressing my lips against Elliot's. He tensed, grip tightening on my waist. Moments later, he returned the kiss but with urgency, a sense of need. My body felt like it was on fire as his lips moved against mine. There wasn't a millimeter of space between our bodies as they fit together like puzzle pieces. It felt like eternity passed before we broke away for air.
"I think I like hot chocolate now," Elliot smirked, licking his lips. I blushed beet red, glaring at him.
"Je t'aime aussi," I replied, pressing my lips against to him.
"We're naming our kids Antoine and Maurice," Elliot mumbled against my lips. I pulled away, this time to slap him.
"I think the fuck not."
Fin
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Thank You to everyone who's come along with me on this journey, it really means a lot. Thank you to @Leolunah for not being a silent reader.
If you liked this book, you might like my other two books You Before Me and Stronger. I am planning to rewrite parts of this book so if you happen to get mass updates, just mute the notifications. Sorry in advance if that happens.
I also plan to write two new books, one about dancing and one about royalty. So if you think you might like that, stay tuned.
Once again, big thank you to everyone.
Je t'aime et à toute à l'heure!
- Mia