(A/N): Very brief mention of attempted suicide.
Jimin doesn't even get to say goodbye before Jeongguk leaves the next morning but maybe they're better off that way.
After his confession that seemed to be so obvious throughout their slowly growing relationship, he figured that maybe the policeman would at least say something instead of keeping all silence. And so as the hours go by, he can only believe that it was a mistake to unshroud his true feelings.
He's yet again sitting at Officer Jeon's house but rather than keeping himself stuffed in the bedroom, he's migrated to the living room with Jeongguk's smooth sweater still glued to his upper body. The TV plays softly in the background to serve as some white noise in the midst of his heavy contemplation. He's staring at the vase of pretty roses snug in the center of the kitchen island and almost unconsciously he runs his fingers over his ample lips, prodding at them.
Jimin has absolutely no idea where they sit right now. Are they on good terms or bad? Jeongguk isn't speaking to him. He doesn't even really know if he's at the station or if he's off somewhere else doing God knows what, trying to distract himself from the throes of his reality. He'd prefer the former because at least that way he knows he has people he can count on were something bad to happen to him.
...But now that he actually thinks about it, Jeongguk never really specified where or when the mission would take place. The thought that it could be underway right now without his knowledge has his skin crawling and the hair on the back of his neck standing on end.
The more Jimin sits in his own deafening silence, the more he feels stuck and helpless. He peers over at the stove, looking at the time. Maybe he should go out for a little bit, but of course he'll have a bodyguard accompanying him. Jeongguk's rules and he supposes it makes sense.
He crawls off of the sofa and talks to one of the men standing outside of the house. He hands them Taehyung's number and gets one of them to call the man over. Meanwhile he makes quick work of cleaning himself up in the bathroom.
He has a simple pair of jeans on, Jeongguk's hoodie, a black mask and a bucket hat. Jimin exits the house and is happy to find Taehyung waiting patiently on the front lawn. They're given a ride to the blond's favourite cafe however not without a bodyguard following them into the small cozy building.
They sit themselves at a little booth, Jimin opposite Taehyung and the taller, burley man but a couple seats away keeping a close eye on them.
They engage in conversation while they sip from their mugs of hot chocolate and take turns forking at a piece of angel food cake. Although it's been difficult for Jimin to immerse himself with the outside world, he's thankful Taehyung is there for him and with him to help better the process. It's slow progress, but progress nonetheless.
"This place is cute, love. You have nice taste," Taehyung murmurs with a cheek full of food, eyes glee.
Jimin smiles too but the action is hidden behind his black mask. "It was my favourite place to be before y'know... all of this," he replies.
Taehyung hums and takes another sip. "If you don't mind me asking, what was life like for you before Kai...?"
Jimin's eye twitches at the question. His reluctant expression is shadowed by his bucket hat as well as mask. But he reflects on the conversation him and Taehyung had only a couple days ago in the living room. He wants to better himself and keeping secrets completely contradicts his way of revival.
"...I guess you don't know much, huh? Besides me being a teacher..." he murmurs and taps his fingers against his mug. He looks up at Taehyung. "What do you wanna know?" he asks quietly.
Taehyung pushes his mug to the side and leans against the smooth surface of the booth table. "Tell me about what made you happy. You deserve to smile."
It's safe to say that this wasn't what he was entirely expecting. Of course the man sitting opposite him doesn't seem like the kind to pry but maybe he's just used to the nosy media trying to unhinge his life and further dishevel his current relationships.
Behind his mask, Jimin is biting on his lip. His hands fall from the table top and drop onto his thighs, hidden. He's playing with his sleeves and remembers a couple of the things Jeongguk had brought up during their prior conversation - when things were smooth and seemed impossibly simple for a few minutes.
"...My students. They were a handful but they always made me smile. And Haechan... he was my favourite. He's definitely changed, though," Jimin recalls.
"He has, hasn't he?" Taehyung adds.
The teacher finds difficulty in figuring out whether or not the tone in Taehyung's voice is an indication of happiness or potential worry. And so he takes this moment to clear the air for the teenage boy.
"It's a good change, Tae. He may be acting out but I'm sure once all of this passes, he'll be okay. It will be a lesson he can learn from, right? He used to be the shy kid who would sit with me during presentations. He'd hang out with me at lunch because he had no friends, Taehyung. He's sticking up for himself now and even though he could probably find better ways to do it, he's much stronger than he used to be," Jimin explains.
Taehyung looks at him and once again his expression is indiscernible. Visibly he's thinking it over and after a moment of inner conflict he breaks into a smile.
"...I needed to hear that. Thank you, Jimin. I knew he struggled in school because his parents were gay but I never really thought it was as bad as it is. He never really confided in me but I suppose it's because I decided to leave..." Taehyung explains in desolation.
Jimin can sense the perceptible shift in aura, almost so much so that he can nearly grasp it in his fingertips. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't know much about Taehyung or his family, either. Simply that him and Namjoon separated because of the taboo pertaining to same sex relationships in Korea.
He wants to ask about Taehyung's past but he can't find it within himself to bring up such a clearly touchy subject. However his eyes are visible and it seems that the taller man can read the curiosity swimming between his eyelids. Maybe he's too transparent.
"I can tell you, if you'd like. I think it's only fair given the circumstances," Taehyung says.
Jimin blinks at him. "...Only if you want to."
Taehyung's tongue sweeps over his lips. "Well, it's a long story."
"That's okay. I'm here to listen."
The taller man nods his head and does what Jimin's noticed to be his coping mechanism during times of stress. He's picking at his cuticles.
"...I was in my last year of college and at that point he had officially finished his period of training and joined the police force. I was in a bad headspace. I felt lost and even though I was getting my degree, it was what my parents wanted and not me..."
Jimin notices how Taehyung blinks rapidly. He's trying to stop himself from crying and he knows this because the action is all too familiar.
"...One night, I had drunken myself into a near stupor. I was out of my mind, despressed and wanting everything from life that I didn't have yet wanting nothing to do with it at the very same time. Eventually it became too much. He found me standing at the edge of a bridge and managed to talk me out of it. He took me to his home that night because he didn't trust me being alone," he continues, wiping at his cheeks.
Jimin is hesitant, slowly reaching his hand out to flatten it against Taehyung's. The man looks up at their touching fingers and exhales softly.
"He ended up taking care of me and helped me finish my last year of college. We moved in together and wanted more - a kid... my best friend since elementary school offered to become our surrogate and throughout the nine months she carried him, she was perfectly healthy... I don't know what's suddenly caused it but he wants to meet his birth mother," Taehyung explains sadly however Jimin knows that something is missing.
"Would you ever let him?"
"...There were complications during birth and she didn't make it, Jimin. Haechan made it but she didn't. I don't know what to tell him. I'm afraid it's only going to make things worse. He's going to hate me. He's ignoring Namjoon Hyung," Taehyung furthers and at this point he's crying into his free hand.
Jimin is absolutely baffled. The picture he saw of the three of them together at Officer Kim's. They looked so happy and care free. Like the perfect family.
"God, I still love them both. I want to make things right but Haechan is off God knows where and Namjoon Hyung is helping with the mission to capture Kai right now," Taehyung sniffles.
Jimin feels his blood run cold and his throat dry up. It was but a speculation that Jeongguk's mission was today. There's no way he just left without saying anything. He wouldn't do that, would he? Maybe that's why he's been ignoring Jimin, trying to mitigate the pain by simply vanishing from his life. But that's not how it works. The blond deserves more than that.
He stumbles out of the booth, nearly falling onto his knees and hands. He feels dizzy - head off in some whir of clashing thoughts. He can't even register the fact that he's being touched by Taehyung first who holds him up and then the bodyguard who paces to their sides, eventually taking over.
"What's going on?" the man asks in an accusatory way, prompting Taehyung to shrivel.
He isn't sure what he's just done. Evidently he thought that Jimin already knew.
"I didn't know... I told him about the mission," he panics.
Jimin's ears are pounding. He can hear his blood pulsating the further his mind pries into the countless negative outcomes. This isn't fair. Jeongguk should have told him. Why did he just leave like that without saying anything? God, it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad that the teacher can physically feel his heart tearing. He was open and honest about his feelings and this is what he gets?
"N-need to see Jeongguk," Jimin murmurs almost incoherently.
Taehyung is standing idly, hands shaking against his thighs. "J-Jimin we can't. Not yet," he says. "We have to wait until they're back."
The blond's vision is blurring. He thrusts himself out of the bodyguard's faint hold and beelines for the cafe doors. He ignores the incessant pleas of desperation clinging to his ears, begging him to stop running. He jumps into the car where his driver is already sat at, refusing to start the vehicle. However Jimin screams at him and the man twists the key, taking off.
He can see through the rearview mirror as Taehyung and the bodyguard's figure regress in size, eventually to a state of nothingness. He demands the driver to take him to the police station but something on the radio has their plans changing.
'Fifteen minutes ago a police officer had been injured at the east end of the city trying to capture the criminal responsible for the recent murders in Seoul. The exact state of his condition is unknown however his injuries are severe. All businesses around the crime scene have been shut down and will remain closed until further notice.'
Jimin can feel his lungs collapse as his breath labors. No name was given and yet he knows just exactly who they're talking about. He doesn't even need to say anything and the driver changes route, evidently making way to the hospital.
If there's any kind of nightmare he'd be given the chance to somehow skip, it would be this one. The very last thing that he wanted from all of this was to see Jeongguk get hurt. Of course he has felt pain, but this... this is beyond his imagination. It should have been him. He should have been the one sent in there, not Jeongguk.
His head is clamored - addled with images of Officer Jeon in a hospital bed, hanging on for dear life. He isn't sure how long they've been driving but the minute they pull up in front of the large building, Jimin is scrambling out of the passenger seat, initially falling on all fours. His knees and hands scuff but he doesn't care. He can't care.
He travels to the entrance and as he does so, there's a stutter in his haphazard jog. His breathing is heavy and his palms are sweaty. The moment he walks into the hospital and spots Namjoon pacing the waiting area impatiently, he falls to his knees heavily. Heartwrenching sobs sink from his mouth at an impossible rate and into his small hands.
"Shit, Jimin," Namjoon jogs to him and crouches down beside him.
Jimin looks up and his face is already drenched with tears. Red and in the process of swelling. "Y-you were supposed to protect him. You l-let him get hurt. He's h-hurt because of you!" he whales and he's pulled into Namjoon's arms.
Every emotion he has right now spirals into an explosive burst. His arms are flailing, balled up fists colliding with Namjoon's chest. He's swearing at Officer Kim, taking all of his anger out on him. He doesn't want to be held right now. He doesn't want to be touched. He just wants to see Jeongguk and know that he's okay.
"Jimin, please," the man tries to calm him down.
"Let me go!" Jimin screams into his face, increasing the force of his hits.
He's totally losing himself as hospital security tries to contain him. He's hurt before but he never knew that it was possible to hurt this much. It's like every bone in his body is breaking. His chest is on fire as the strings in his heart disconnect themselves from the torment.
This isn't how it was supposed to end.
Not like this.
(A/N): It isn't over yet please don't hate me!! :))