oml so when i tell you i've been emotional today it's been just...
as soon as the given trailer came out yesterday i watched it and i literally couldn't stop crying
lol.
wow um y'all 900 reads welll..oop
so thanks
okay so here's this.
i wrote this chapter out of pure boredom at like 2am last night so yee.
reminder-no characters/art/photos belong to me unless it says so.
sorry for the grammar/spelling mistakes.
i guess y'all could say this hints at homophobia so back off if that might get to ya.
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takeda pov-
as i left the room i felt as weird feeling in my stomach.
'why was he so flustered by seeing me without a shirt on...'
i opened the door leading onto the busy street. the streets were busy for a weekday night but that doesn't matter. i walked down the road towards a small convince store. i made my way inside and grabbed my items. after i bought my items i decided to go for a walk.after walking for a good 15 minutes i found a bench to sit on.
i sat myself down and looked up at the sky. the moon shining brightly down on the world made me feel calm. that wasn't going to last long.
the stars painted perfectly across the dark night sky.
the bench i sat at was near a little pond. i watched small animals get in and out of the pond. baby ducklings following their mother. geese being loud and annoying.
as i sat their i saw a figure walking towards the other side of the pond. the figure sat themselves on the bench. i don't think they noticed me so i continued to examine the person. it was of course dark out but i could make out an average sized man on the bench.
i couldn't make out any distinct features so i decided to stop being creepy and go back to examining the sky.
(if y'all can't tell i have a slight obsession with astronomy and ya girl really do be loving the stars ngl)
"takeda.." i turned around to see her.
"mom." i managed to croak out.
"your father.." "how did you know i was here. i told you not to contact me while i was here." she nodded. "i know. but i have something to tell you." she sat herself next to me and put a piece of her hair behind her hair. "okay.." i looked down trying to ignore eye contact with her.
"your father is sick..really sick. we are going to get together soon. this week to be exact. we would like you to join." she smiled at me.
it hurt.
after what she did she thinks it's okay to just act like she didn't do anything. "sorry i can't." i said firmly.
"honey..i know i told you to go but your dad is dying! you can't act like it doesn't matter!" i shook my head. "it's not my fault." i regretted saying that immediately. "how could you say that! your father is dying! and your sitting there acting like just because your "gay" you don't have to see him!" i felt tears forming in my eyes. my face flushed red. palms sweaty.
"i'm not using my sexuality as an excuse to not see him. i told you i didn't want to see you. you didn't listen.." i couldn't hold my emotions any longer. "don't use your as your "sexuality" as an excuse. i might not agree with it but i still love you!"
i watched the man across the pond run off.
"no."
she looked at me with a confused expression.
"no?"
"stop acting like you love me. you said i was disgusting. you kicked me out for what being able to fucking love the people i want. stop acting like you love me cause if you did you wouldn't be doing this.
you act like just because your sexuality is "normal"
or whatever like your better than me. like you have a reason to treat me like i'm nothing! like i don't matter! you will never understand what you did to me. your too selfish and homophobic to see your actions effected me. to see your actions hurt me.
to see your actions will always be engraved in my memory.
every last insult.
every last mean action.
every last thing you ever did to me!
good or bad.
just leave me alone."
i shouted at her. her face went white. "don't speak to me like that." i rolled my eyes.
"than stop acting like i have a disease or something!" i grabbed the bag that held the items i bought from the store.
"don't contact me ever again."
warm tears fell from my eyes. i felt like i could faint at any moment. my knees hurt. the pit in my stomach gave me the most unsettling feeling. my hands were shaking. my mind wondering ever which way. i just needed to see ukai. i needed to see the one person i truly feel safe around.
the tears still falling from my eyes as i approached the door.
my hands shaking.
my knees weak.
i slowly opened the door.
i couldn't hold it in any longer.
i couldn't speak.
i just couldn't take this anymore.
drop them homophobic bitches😗✌️💕
(than we had what happened in the last chapter)
time skip-
the next morning-
takeda pov-
i woke up my with my head pounding, palms sweaty, and feeling overall pretty shitty. i looked around the room to find the clock saying it was only 3:00am.
"well fuck.." i said quietly as i looked over at ukais bed.
'why isn't he here?' i quickly rolled over to the see ukai sleeping next to me. i could feel my face heat up.
"fuck!"
i quickly jumped up and ran to the bathroom locking the door behind me. i must've said it outloud and not even noticed or i was to loud running to the bathroom because i heard ukai wake up.
i looked at myself in the mirror. my eyes sleepily staring at my reflection in the mirror. my cheeks stained from tears. my head was still pounding and i was shaking. i bent over the sink and splashed my face with the cold water.
it was very cold.
much colder than i had anticipated.
"hey takeda..you okay?" i heard ukai ask as he walked closer to the bathroom door. i dried off my face and looked one last time in the mirror.
'ugly'
'piece of trash'
'worthless'
'disappointment'
'unnatural'
"oh..um yeah i'm okay.." i quickly found myself crying once again. i shook it off and grabbed the door knob. unknowingly ukai was still standing outside the door. "you sure your good teach?" i nodded as i walked past him. i grabbed my jacket which still had my phone in the pocket. "your phone has been blowing up all night." he said as he sat down in a chair next to where i was standing. i opened my phone to see it flooded by angry relatives messages. i shook it off and laid back down on my bed.
i started playing with my fingers to get my mind off of the messages. "what happened last night?" i looked up to see ukai taking steps closer to me.
i took a deep breath. "i saw someone i didn't expect to see.." my voice trailed off as i felt the pit in my stomach largen. my palms started to sweat once again. tears started to build up in my eyes.
"who?..."
he asked so politely.
he sounded genuine.
kind.
safe.
"my mother.."
i layed my self down on my pillow and closed my eyes trying to block the tears.
he sat down next to me. i felt him reach for my hand and successfully grab ahold of it. "do you wanna talk about it? you seem pretty shaken up.."his voice sounding comforting. he sounded as if he was worried which i knew he wasn't but i could hold it in any longer.
hot tears poured from my eyes. i felt ukai pull me close into his arm. hugging me close he brushed my back and hummed. "your okay." he slowly pulled me closer almost onto his lap. "if she did anything to you i swear to go-" i shook my head.
"it was my fault..everything that happened was my fault. every argument. every time she said i was worthless it was all my fault..she just made me realize it."
my voice cracked as i spilled my guts out to ukai. he slowly stopped hugging me. i felt as if i could die at any moment. but would anyone care..? he picked up my head to look at him. straight into his eyes.
(yea like he can do anything straight..)
"no. i have no idea what nonsense your talking about but your lying." he brushed his hand thru my hair as he pulled me close once again. "but it was and is...i said so many horrible things. i deserve those things she said back." my voice trailed off as i tried to collect my thoughts.
i stayed wrapped in his embrace until we eventually fell asleep. the moon shining thru the blinds. the stars shining ever so brightly outside of the window.
the quiet street below. i never wanted to let go of him. i never wanted to do anything but be in his arms.
i love this man.
i feel safe in his arms.
i feel loved him his arms.
i feel content in his arms.
i feel as if even the whole world is crumbling around us he will keep me safe
in his arms.
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so that was like honestly pretty hard to write since i'm an emotional bitch..
i think i almost died today.
i went out to dinner with my dad and he asked to see my phone.
like dude i have nothing on there that's that bad but it still scared the shit out of me..
also ima just rant for a second.
i was supposed to be starting choir again this monday it got cancelled i'm pissed.
i have vocal lessons tomorrow but i haven't practiced in over a week cause ya girl had a horrible migraine last week is didn't have them but i really sound like a dying rat rn ngl.
okay i'm going to snuggle me cat and drink coffee because having coffee late at night is the best time to have coffee.
peace ✌️
you are my friend if you know where this is from
😗✌️
okay i'm going now....
just kidding look at him!
he's fucking precious!
okay good night/day/whatever the fuck time it is for you