Umm sorry ig? Been kinda busy. I wanna promise to upload faster since I'm in break but I got tons of stuff to do and I don't wanna make empty promises. Sorry again.
Also guys, if your mental health is bad take a break from reading these. It may feel good but it's actually worse for your mental health trust me.
Trigger Warning: Why am I even writing these you've come this far you know the drill. SW. Alcohol, domestic violence, mentions of puke
Adora's POV
I woke up with one thing on my mind: Catra. Just like the last five days.
Yeah. It's been five days. She wasn't at school on Friday, saying she was sick and she hasn't left her house all weekend. Oh, and also she hasn't come to school at all this week. I mean, it's only been two days but it's still concerning.
Today's Wednesday. I hope she comes. I don't know what to do if she doesn't.
Is she okay? Is she mad at me? Why did she look so scared?
I can't get her out of my mind. That last second I saw her, with so much fear in her eyes. I haven't seen her since.
Please. Let her be okay. I can't lose another friend. Please.
I got ready for school, hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
She's here.
Oh thank god. She's here, she's fine. It's fine.
"Catra!" I called out to her. She flinched at her name before her looking at me and smiling.
Wait, what?
She flinched? Is she okay?
"Hey are you...okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine, why do you ask?" she answered, still looking very fidgety and nervous.
"No reason."
Fuck, I just made it awkward didn't I? I'm worried about her though. She doesn't look fine. She doesn't act fine. She doesn't even talk fine. No I don't know what that's supposed to mean but my point still stands.
I was too scared to ask another question and the day dragged on. Nothing interesting happened, until lunch that is.
As usual we spent the lunchtime talking and hanging out. I skipped lunch on most days or did...something else but Catra ate normally. Not today though. I noticed she'd barely touched her food which was worrying.
"Hey are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine Adora."
"Are you sure?" I asked her, more worried now.
"YES. I said I'm fine."
"You can talk to me about anything, you know?" I put my hand on her shoulder reassuringly. Or I tried to.
She flinched. More visible than before.
"Catra? What happened are you hurt I'm sorry are you okay-"
"Adora. I said. I'm fine."
"But-"
"I'M FINE ADORA JUST LEAVE ME ALONE"
I fucked up. I pushed too hard and she probably hates me now. Fuck. I was just trying to help. Stupid. Stupid Adora. Why do I always do this? Why am I like this? I hate myself.
My vision became too blurry to notice what happened. My eyes were filled with tears? This is so stupid. Why am I crying?
Oh right probably because I made my only friend hate me. Good reason to cry I'd say.
I wiped my eyes to see that Catra was gone.
Fuck.
I really messed up didn't I?
The rest of the day was a blur. I couldn't concentrate. I didn't see Catra at all after that.
I messed up. So bad. Let's hope the rest of my day will be better. (spoiler: it does not. it's wednesday.)
Oh fuck I had volleyball practice.
Now don't get me wrong, I love volleyball. My team is not so bad either, I just can't make friends with them because they would get bullied too and no one wants to be bullied.
Catra was an exception.
No, don't think about her. Just do your job and It will be fine.
Practice went great, didn't mess up badly and actually managed a few good hits. (Adora is spiker/hitter i guess or smt i dont really know volleyball I just watched haikyuu)
I was scared Mrs. Weaver was going to make another speech but she seemed occupied. Good for me I guess. She's just trying to be helpful, I think, but her words really hurt. And they seem stupid, but adults know best right?
Whatever. I don't want to be kicked out. I need to eat less if I don't want to gain weight. I'm already on the border of normal and overweight as it is. (she is delusional and actually kinda underweight from not eating if you didn't notice. sorry if this is a wrong portrayal, again, i dont have much personal experience about this)
Before I noticed practice was over too. It went better than I expected so that's a bonus! Let's hope home is better too.
First thing I noticed was the shouting. The second was the shattering. The third was the smell of alcohol. I'm sure I would have noticed a lot more things if the first three hadn't shocked me so much.
What the hell?
I should have just gone back out the door and as far away as I could before they noticed me. Instead I entered the living room.
Well so there's a mystery solved. I know where the alcohol smell comes from. In front of me was both of my parents. Each holding a broken bottle.
Each covered in puke?
"M-mom? D-dad?"
"Oh Adora, sweetie."
They smelled of wine and puke. And alcohol. So much of it.
"What are you doing?" I asked, only managing a low sound.
"We are just talking about our problems like grown ups sweetie. Would you mind fetching us a bottle of water?"
What's wrong with them? What happened?
I guess my mom could read minds because she answered those questions before I could ask them aloud.
"So sweetie, your dad and I have an...issue. He says he didn't cheat on me, both we both know he did."
"THAT'S A LIE YOU FUCKING WH*RE! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO CHEATED!"
"YOU KEEP SAYING THAT BUT WHERE'S YOUR PROOF YOU ******************"
I couldn't believe this. How drunk were they?
"I HAVE PROOF!" my mother continued. "WHERE'S YOURS, HUH?"
Please stop. Stop.
"I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BECAUSE I EXPECTED YOU TO BE BETTER AND NOT CHEAT. BUT I GUESS I SHOULDN'T HAVE EXPECTED BETTER FROM SOMEONE WHO HAD A BABY TO STOP ME FROM LEAVING"
"OH YOU FUCKING PRICK YOU NEVER LOVED ME YOU WERE JUST USING ME TO GET A CHILD"
"WELL YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, I NEVER LOVED YOU! JUST LIKE YOU NEVER LOVED ME! AM I WRONG?"
"THAT BABY WAS SUPPOSED TO SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS, NOT CREATE MORE YOU SELFISH PRICK."
Wait. Mom babytrapped dad? I was just made to solve their problems?
I'm the reason they fight so much?
"Adora sweetie" mom started again in her fake sweet tone. "Can you help me clean this blood? Your dad refuses to listen to me so I had to do this to make him listen" she showed me her arms.
That's...
I puked. I puked on the ground. T-this is t-too much for me I-I d-don't.
There wasn't much in my stomach but now nothing was left. I doubt my parents minded, their puke was everywhere. And what I'm now learning was my mother's blood was in the mix too.
Oh god. This has gotta be a dream. Mom didn't do THAT to make dad listen. Surely not.
I looked at them, hoping to wake up. "You did this?"
Mom laughed. "Of course not sweetie. I meant I just had to drink this much to make him listen. The blood is from glass cuts because we weren't careful while drinking and broke a lot of bottles. It's fine don't worry!"
How does she say this in a happy tone. There must be at least 10 bottles here.
I don't want this.
"Mom. I need to take a shower."
She laughed. My dad also laughed. I was hoping they'd clean the puke but I guess that's not an option.
Just standing here makes me feel like puking but I don't have anything in me to throw up. I collapsed on the sofa, this was all too much. They just stared at me, and drank the rest of their drinks before passing out from the alcohol.
Great. I have to deal with this.
I should just leave them with the mess. But they'll be even more mad when they wake up. I don't want more shouting.
I wish they'd stop spending all their money on alcohol.
Thankfully they had puked mostly on the carpet. Which I can just throw in the laundry machine. It takes up all of the machine. It's really a waste to waste all this electricity and water on just one carpet but I'm too tired to care. I just want this over with.
Whatever was left on the ground I sweeped up and whatever pieces of glass were left I threw out. When I was done the room looked normal.
It still smelled.
I need a shower.
The shower was supposed to be relaxing but it wasn't, all I could think about was Catra, my parents and what they just did.
I ate a little dinner on the now less smelly room.
Why am I eating. It's pointless. It's just more calories. I don't need this.
But it hurts so much when I don't.
It's fine I can just skip breakfast tomorrow to make up for this.
But it won't be enough. I should just puke this out after the pain stops.
As I was in the bathroom getting rid of my dinner I heard my parents waking up.
Oh great.
By the time I got to bed they were back to arguing full volume.
Why
Why can't my life be better?
How long is this going to continue?
Make it stop.
Just make it stop.
Please.
As I faded in to unconsciousness I could hear my own sobs drowning out my parents and my tears shutting out any light.
Wow this chapter was dark. Sorry for torturing the cinnamon roll, I just thought Catra needed a break. Don't worry, the next chapter will actually be kinda fluff, if I can get it out.
It's 5 am i stayed up till 5am i hate myself. This is not proof read at all so sorry for whatever mistakes i made. Hope you're enjoying the story.