Lauren was glad Al agreed to drive. She never liked driving the van, it was far too big a vehicle for someone her size to drive; her own car, which she used mainly for work, was a tiny Nissan Versa that was pretty much invisible to most targets of surveillance, and was a breeze to drive. Also, her mind was buzzing with images of mangled metal and crushed bodies, and she would have seen nothing else in front of her if she was behind the wheel. She might have endangered both of them if she drove in this state.
Al's driving was steady and calm, and she appreciated the fact that he didn't feel the need to talk while he drove. Still, her thoughts were too loud, and she felt that if she didn't say something to relieve the pressure, her head would explode.
She didn't want to talk about what they might find, though. Her own imagination was giving her enough possibilities. She had to take her mind off of that, so she decided on another, equally perilous course, but one she felt she could weather if she said the right things. This conversation, she thought, was overdue, but she didn't think she could have begun it if she hadn't woken up naked in Al's arms.
She waited until they were on a nice, straight stretch of highway through Burnaby before she began.
"Al?"
"Yeah?" he asked as he kept his eyes on the road, squinting as the early morning light glared through the windshield.
"Can I tell you something, more cards on the table?"
"Sure."
"Promise you won't get angry?"
He chuckled. "I love it when people ask someone not to get angry before they hear what they have to tell them. How am I supposed to know how I'll react?"
"Fair enough. Can you at least promise not to get angry at Rachel?"
He nodded. "That's a low blow. I can never be angry at Rachel. Truth is, I could never be angry at you either, Lauren. You've been nothing but kind to me. Like that time you helped me once, a long time ago, I'll never forget it."
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"That time when I visited and discovered Rachel had moved away. I was crying my eyes out thinking I'd never see her again, and suddenly you just kissed me on the lips. I was shocked, but it made me feel better, that's for sure."
The memory hit her like a bucket of cold water. She'd almost forgotten about it, mostly because, in her desire not to let Joe find out, she'd suppressed it. "Oh. That. I was just comforting a friend. I didn't know at the time that I wasn't going to see her or hear from her either for thirty more years, and that I would be as devastated as you were that day. Luckily I had Joe to console me."
He nodded in commiseration. "You helped me move on. You helped me realize Rachel wasn't the only girl I would ever fall in love with, even if you weren't offering yourself as a substitute."
"Well, I'm glad I was able to help."
"So, what is it that might make me angry?"
She squirmed in her seat as she thought of how to say it. "Rachel and I..."
"You're having an affair."
She gasped. "You knew?"
"Of course I did. Now ask me if I'm angry."
She chuckled in astonishment. Who was this man? "Did she tell you?"
"No. Actually, I didn't really know. I suspected, though, ever since that very first time I saw your face on that laptop screen. Rachel and I had a discussion about it because it was unavoidable. She mentioned she and you were each other's first experience at thirteen. She admitted she was sexually attracted to you. And then, well, ever since the three of us started exchanging Skype shows, I knew for Rachel it was you she was watching, and that it would never be enough for her to just watch you. How can I blame her? I felt the exact same way when we watched you and Joe going at it. Jesus, the things you did..."
"Al..." she said, blushing furiously. "Stop it. I'm getting turned on, and that's not what I need to be right now."
"Sorry. So, can I ask when it started?"
"This might be the part that makes you angry."
"Consider me forewarned. Lay it on me."
"The Monday after you first slept with her."
Now he did look gut-punched. "Wow," he gasped. "That does kind of hurt."
"Please don't blame her. Blame me. I'm the one who seduced her. I'd come by to collect evidence against the CEO; Rachel had told me he'd left his underwear there once, so I went and got it. It was during the day, and no one was expecting either of us for a while, and the fact that we were alone with each other for the first time since we reunited was so thrilling, Al, you can't know how much people depend on me, as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter in law, and as a professional... I don't know, I think for me the moment was just electric, and I had to have her."
He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "I don't blame you. Both of you are pretty damned irresistible."
"If it makes you feel better, Al, she fought it. She really wanted to stay faithful to you. I basically took off all my clothes and lured her into the shower."
"Fuck," he breathed, and she knew right away he was imagining her in the shower; Rachel had told her that was Al's favourite place to do it. She liked it too, and thinking that brought an unwelcome image of his own body, wet and soapy, pressed against hers, his hands pawing and groping as he lathered her up, the shower spray...
"How could anyone resist that?" he asked, almost whined, mercifully bringing her out of her reverie. "I don't think I could, and I love Rachel with all my heart."
"And she feels the exact same way, Al, believe that. She married you, didn't she? And she didn't have a very high opinion of marriage at the time. She doesn't want to lose you, it's just sometimes I'm the itch she needs to scratch."
He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "And she's yours?"
She nodded, biting her lip.
"And Joe doesn't know, right?"
"Are you kidding me? He'd go ape-shit if he found out. The only reason you see him in my shows is that he has no idea he's on camera."
He chuckled. "Poor guy. He never suspects?"
"Nope. He's my poor, dumb, sexy ox."
Now he laughed out loud. "I guess if he sees a black screen on a laptop, he assumes it's off. That's what I thought before you put your two cents in with the Julia situation."
She sighed. "Yeah, that's a night I'd like to forget. Not what you and Rachel were doing, that was pretty hot, but, you know, getting rid of the body."
He cleared his throat. "Can I ask how many times you've... gotten together since that first time?"
She squirmed again. "Do you really want to know that, Al? I don't want you to feel like we've been sneaking around behind your back, that's why I'm telling you now. I will say, though, that it hasn't been many. Like I said, the opportunities are rare."
"But you are sneaking around behind Joe's back. I don't want to make you feel bad, but there is a reason you're not telling him."
"Yes, and I have to confess, Al, you're taking this a lot better than I thought you would. Joe would not be as charitable, believe me."
He harrumphed at that. "I'm only taking it well because I suspected all along and have had time to accept it, and also because I'm no longer in any position to judge, am I?"
"Well... huh. I guess not." This was exactly why she'd brought this up now.
He sighed and shook his head. "You, and me, and Rachel... it's a weird situation we find ourselves in."
"You're telling me."
"We're almost a throuple, for lack of a better word."
"I wouldn't go that far, buddy. You might have gotten a freebie from me early this morning, but that's no guarantee of a repeat performance."
"Darn," he said jokingly, and she chuckled.
"But you make an interesting point," she conceded. "I initially got sick over that photo, not just because I was afraid Rachel and Joe had seen it... that would have meant the end of my marriage... but I was also afraid Rachel had seen it and was now jealous of you."
"Huh. Yeah," he said. "She would have been the jilted party two different ways. That's pretty fucked up, isn't it."
"That's us, like you say."
"When we all reunited two years ago, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would end up marrying one friend and cheating with another."
"No?" she joked. "Why don't you shoot for the moon, Al? There's still Tej to cross off your list."
"Oh, God," he moaned. "I'm not a playboy. I will confess to hots for you, especially since we began our Skype shows, but it was still a shock to find you in my arms this morning."
"Shock is an understatement," she agreed. "And yet..."
She didn't have to say any more; he blushed and looked at her for a second. "And yet," he agreed.
"But I love Joe, have since we were kids, and I'm never leaving him," she said.
He nodded. "There. That's why I'm not angry about Rachel. I trust that, no matter what you two get up to, neither of you would threaten your marriages. And I can assure you, I won't either by trying to stop you."
She gasped. "Jesus, Al. Rachel is a very lucky woman to have such an understanding husband."
"I know," he said with a self-satisfied look.
She playfully punched him on the shoulder.
"Ow!" he joked, shaking out the arm. "Careful, I'm driving here."
By this time they were driving over the Port Mann Bridge. Lauren looked at her phone to make sure they were getting closer to the red dot. Al saw what she was doing and asked, "Has it moved at all?"
"No. This isn't good."
"Let's keep talking about something else. We can't do anything until we get there, anyway, so why worry unnecessarily?"
"You're being remarkably stoic."
"Actually, it's all I can do not to vomit out the window." He paused for a moment, then said, "You know what? This is the longest you and I have actually been alone together since we reunited. I can't remember having such a long conversation with you."
"Huh. Yeah, you're right."
"I realize I like talking with you. Whatever might have happened between us earlier, I'd like to think this conversation was just as fulfilling."
"Uh, seriously? You're equating talking with fucking? What kind of man are you?"
"Lauren, I warned you," he said mock sternly, "when you say fucking it makes me picture us fucking."
She chuckled. "Fuck." She hooted again as she realized she'd said it again. "What's wrong with me? Am I some kind of sex fiend?"
"I don't know, but I do enjoy the flirting, so I'm just as culpable."
She fanned herself with her hand to get rid of the heat in her cheeks. This had to be shock. What sane individual flirted with her friend in the midst of worrying that her husband might be dead at the side of the road? Maybe they were both under so much stress that talking about sex had the same effect as loosening a pressure valve, or masturbating when you couldn't relax enough to get to sleep because you were planning school carpools or worrying about the mortgage.
When she'd calmed down enough, she said, "Before you, Al, Joe was the only man I was ever with. I fended off lots of creeps and losers, and some genuinely dateable guys, because I knew, I knew, he was all the man I ever needed. Even when I cheated, it was with the best friend I ever had, who also happened to be my first sexual experience. Rachel was..." And to her horror, she felt tears coming to her eyes. "I fucking loved her, Al. You don't understand what it meant to me when she welcomed me into the group; I'd been so miserable in Richmond because of bullying, that when I met her she was like a shining beacon on a dark sea. When she left Queensborough I was a mess. And when I saw her again after thirty years, I couldn't let her get away again, I had to show her how I felt because I didn't get the chance back then, because I didn't even know how to process what we'd done as a sexual act, we were too young..."
Now she was blubbering, and to Al's credit he said nothing, didn't even cheekily call her out for saying fucking again. Instead, he closed his eyes for a microsecond, and silent tears ran down his cheeks.
"So, you see? I'm not a sex fiend," Lauren continued after wiping her eyes and sniffling. "One man, and one woman to sand the rough bits left behind. And now they're both out there somewhere, maybe hurt, maybe dead."
He reached over and took her hand in his. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't know you loved her like I did. If I'd known how much you were hurting that day..."
"I wasn't yet, because I thought she'd get around to calling me. Remember what happened, what she said? The paper with my number on it went in her laundry and got ruined."
He shook his head in disbelief. "Right. We really should have tried harder to keep in touch."
"It was different back then. Nowadays you can find anyone with the click of a mouse. It took me seconds to find you on Facebook, remember? But by the time the technology allowed us to do things like that, time had taken its toll and we'd moved on. It was only Mrs. Anderson's death and the will assigning Rachel as executor that inspired me to find the two of you again."
"Except you'd already reconnected with Sunny through professional coincidence."
"Right. A happy coincidence."
He drove in silence for a few moments before remarking, "You're not a sex fiend at all. Two partners in your entire life, and one of them only in the last couple of years. Nowadays that would be considered spinsterish."
"Oh, yeah? How many have you had, shy boy?"
He reddened. "Just one more than you."
She smirked at him. "If we count this morning's escapade, then that would make three for me and four for you."
"I don't know if it counts if you don't remember."
"What sucks about it is that I feel all the guilt of cheating without the happy memory of the experience."
He looked sidelong at her. "Would you have wanted to remember being with me?"
"Well... yeah, even if it was just to compare you to Joe. I'm sure it would have been very different, and I want to know if it was good different or bad different."
"Judging from what I've watched of your performances with Joe, I bet it was fantastic."
"You mean fucking fantastic?"
He burst out laughing. "That's exactly what I mean. Damn, I need to cool down, I'm thinking about it again."
"Down, boy. Stay focused. Let's see, where are we? Two hundred and sixty-fourth street, Aldergrove. Another exit and we're in Abbotsford."
"If there was an accident, there'd be backups by now, this stretch is notorious for them."
"Let's hope there isn't one."
There wasn't one. There wasn't anything. When their dot finally came in contact with the red dot on her screen, she looked along the stretch of highway and saw nothing at all of note. No accident, no crashed cars.
"Pull on to the shoulder!" she barked in panic and disbelief. Al obeyed when it was safe to do so. He stopped, put the van in Park and turned it off. She unbuckled, escaped the van and bent over as if she was going to be sick. Nothing came out, though, but she concentrated on taking deep breaths.
She heard the driver's side door open and close, and soon Al was at her side, rubbing her back. To his credit, he didn't ask if she was okay, because they both knew they weren't, but his hand on her back provided a comforting weight.
"Okay," he said. "So, there's no accident. That's good, right? That means they're probably still alive."
"No," she said, barely above a whisper. "It just means they didn't die in a car accident."
He quietly rubbed her back a little longer, maybe longer than was necessary, and she took another deep breath and straightened. "If his phone is saying it's here," she said, "and there's no sign of him or Rachel, then I have to assume his phone is here without him, maybe dropped here accidentally or through some misfortune. Joe wouldn't have just left his phone here; it's his lifeline as much as mine is to me."
She scanned the grass embankment past the shoulder. "I know it'll be like finding a needle in a haystack," she said, "But I need to find that phone. Al, can you call Sunny?"
"Yes. And if Joe and Rachel aren't with him?"
She sighed. "Then I think it might be time to call the police."
Where are Joe and Rachel if they tracked Joe's phone but they aren't there? Something's not right. If you liked what you read, please hit the "Vote" button. Before we return to Al and Lauren in the present day, let's see how Lauren dealt with Rachel moving away. You might be surprised. Click on "Continue reading" to find out. As always, leave a comment. I'd love to know what you think.