I was sitting down at the dinning room table, brain storming ideas for tonight's late night show. I coild hear the coffee brewing, it sounded rough, an gurgling.
"..........."
"Did you have lunch already?" Someone asked.
"Yeah." I said writing lyrics, remembering some bitter memories. I heard several footsteps, followed by panting.
"You've been sitting their for a while hun." Said a voice.
"I know.....sorry." I said getting back to writing lyrics. I heard slurping, and glanced up seeing Chance drinking his coffee, in the kitchen.
"Must he really good huh? Hehe." I said with a faintly smile.
"Yeah some new blend." Commented Chance.
"Oooh hello there." Said Chance as Fred came behind him hugging him.
"Um.....hun?" Asked a voice.
"What is it serena?" I asked.
"Can I invite one of my non body building buddies?" Asked Serena.
"Sure." I said writing.
"You seem awfully quiet Josh?" Asked Amy, who was sitting on the couch behind me.
"..........." I stayed quiet writing, as did, I felt hands around my neck.
"Come sit hun, I wanna hold you in my arms." Spoke Serena leaning against my back.
"You should probably tell, your friend, he or she can come to thr show tonight Serena. Fred looked at Josh knowing that sad tone, he could see Joshs eyes looking sad.
"OK love." Said Serena as she took off to one of the rooms.
"Jess invited some of her "dancing" friends." Commented Fred.
"Love, stop." Said Chance.
"I bet." I said writing.
"..........." does she know?" Probed Fred.
I put my pencil down ans got up from the chair.
"Uh whats happening?" Said Amy.
"Ooooooh? Did I touch a nerve?" Asked Fred.
"No, if I'm being truthful, i hate you more than anything, you. Piece. Of. Shit." I said before leaving chances house.
"Was that really necessary?" Asked Chance annoyed.
"........." Fred stayed silent.
"Why did you ask if "she" knew?" Asked Amy.
"Drugs." Said Yuki.
"Drugs?" Asked Amy.
"He was on heavy drugs, coccaine, mostly." Said Chance.
"Im guess this is the short summary?" Asked Amy.
"Yeah." Said Yuki. Chance turned around and slapped Fred.
"Ugh great now what am I gonna tell Serena, when she gets back, she'll go crazy." Said chance panicking.
As I sat on the porch my cell phone rang.
"Already told you no.....NO NO WHATS DOES NO MEAN NNNNOOOOO?!?!??" I shouted hanging up panting laying on my back against the wood porch.
"You were yelling pretty loud hun." Commented a voice as I heard a creak, of a wooden door. I sat up and tossed my cigarette from my finger into the gutter, moving my hands in the air getting rid of the smoke.
".......yeah....sorry about that.." I said softly. I felt a couple of hands pick me up by my thighs.
"Cmon, your taking a break for a little while." Said Serena carrying Josh inside as she sat down leaning against the couch, she set Josh on her lap facing him.
"Josh what did Fred mean by "dancing friends?" Quoted Serena. I placed my head against her chest shaking.
"Hun?" Asked Serena.
"Hookers, sluts cumdumps, TRASH?!" I Said panting heavily getting off Serena sitting down in front of her off her.
"Josh knock it off, your not their anymore!" Shouted Fred. I looked at my arms, then wrist, still feeling the shackles, I felt so long ago.
"Shut up, what would a middle class IGNORANT PIECE OF SHIT KNOW, I DID WHAT I DID TO SURVIVE, MY PARENTS LEFT ME TO DIE ON THE STREETS, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO MY PARENTS ARE?! have a loving family, yeah right, I sold my body for cash, in my younger years, I did more coccaine by the time, i was 15, I should've been dead by now." I said panting heavily. Serena, and Amy looked at me shockingly. As I got up, I felt something grab me, I looked and saw it was Chance.
"............" I panted heavily and sat back down, feeling tears run down my face, pulling my knees to my chest. Serena felt uncomfortable for a moment, as she was gonna reach for Josh Yuki stopped her, and shook her head.
As the minutes turned to hours, chance and the others were eating dinner. Serena's arms were shaking as she ate.
"Stop acting like a pathetic loser, Serena, if he's too much then abandon him, it makes no difference, I can say with confidence, any woman, or man would take him without a second thought, yes he had permanent damage from his young years, yes he will habe mental break downs from time to time remembering those awful memories, but he won't stop, because he wants to prove to everyone, he's. Not.worthless." explained Yuki.
"How did you deal with his "episodes?" Asked Serena. Yuki smiled softly.
"I just did what "I" thought would help." Said Yuki.
"Which is?" Asked Serena.
"Sorry girlfriend, youll have to find your own way, or some other woman, will take him away from you, and make him happier than you ever could." Commented Yuki. Serena breathed out.
Chance got up from his seat, glancing at Fred, looking at Josh's face.
"Getting a long look love?" Asked Chance teasingly.
"J-just seeing if he was gonna wake up!" Said Fred, his fsce slightly red.
"Probably should of told Josh Baby Metal would he playing with the band, oh well." Said Chance.
"T-the real B-baby metal?!" Yelled Fred. I pushed my hand against his face pushing him away from me sitting up.
"Shut up your loud." I said itching my ears. I glanced at Serena, she looked away from me. I sighed, shook my head, and grabbed this necklace, she gave me and tossed it on the couch.
"Hm?"asked Fred.
"Nothing worth talking about keep it, if you want, its Serena's anyways." I said getting up.
"Baby me-" said Fred before getting interrupted.
"yeah, I heard you loud mouth." I said I terruoting Fred before sighing, holding my head.
"Headache?" Asked Chance slightly concerned.
"Yeah, what time is?" I asked.
"5:46." Said Amy.
"Thanks." I said smiling.
"Yeah, why you ask?" Said Amy.
"Ima go lay down." I commented.
"Still tired?" Asked Chance. I looked at the back of Serena, as she hasn't turned around to even look at me, then I look at Chance.
"Something like that, tell the "girls" ill be late, so, if I show up late tell them to just continue, no use worrying over a dead man." I commented before retiring into, a spare room.
Fred walked up to the table, and placed a heart locked onto the table.
Serena breathed out looking at it.
"So, its over then?" Asked Chance.
"........yeah." said Serena.
"I-ill see you guys at the concert." Said Serena before getting up and leaving Chances house.
"You think, this is gonna get bad?" Asked Amy.
"For her." Commented Yuki.
"What do you mean love?" Said Amy kissing Yuki's neck.
"Mmmm......Josh knows how to deal with his trauma, ans depression, he gets down, but knows he has a deeper drive to push through it." Said Yuki.
"Yeah." Said Chance, as the three of them, got up and went to the living room to watch TV. Fred grab the necklace from the table, knocked on Joshs door.
"What?" I said tiredly.
"Its me." Said Fred anxious.
"Doors open, make it quick." I said sitting up, my hair was half back and the other half was covering my right eye hanging down my face. As I pushed my hair from my right eye, I saw Fred holding, that heart locket, necklace.
"She bought this? For you." Probed Fred. I smiled and laid on my back.
"Is that all you wanted?" I asked.
"JUST ANSWER ME?!" Fred shouted.
"Yeah, she was the one, who bought it." I said turning on my side.
"Was she scared of you leaving, her side?" Asked Fred.
"I don't know, she never told me anything negative, maybe it was just me dreaming, that this one, would be different, the more things change, the more things stay the same." I said.
"Did you?" Asked Fred.
"......yeah, I did, she gave me what u wanted, a partner, a place to lust, affection, comfort, and a outlet. Doesn't matter, I'm single, once again, just left with a empty heart." I said before falling asleep.
As Fred left, closing thr door Chance hugged him, from behind.
"Come here, you, I want some love, before Chance and Fred started making out in the hall.
As the hours went by, I sat up, looked at myself seeing my bed head, my hair covering my right eye, I grabbed my converse from underneath my bed slipping them on. As I got up, I didn't hear anyone, I looked outside the window, and jumped out the window, landing softly on the grass. I walk through the streets seeing signs, on public places, no centaurs?, or was strange, I had forgotten here in Tokyo, centaurs were discriminated against since ancient times, it was sad, but thats how life is, I understand how they feel, but we all have struggles, you just have to take life one step at a time. As I slowly walk up the back of the stadium, I see Fred waiting, holding a silver chain in his hands.
"Your late." He spoke.
"........." I said nothing yanking the necklace from his hands, tossing is around my neck, as I opened thr door to the back, I saw a group of faces look at me.
"Omg, here sir?!" Yelled one of the workers.
"Yeah." I spoke, as I walked through the back hallway, I could hear the end of a song, as I was lead back stage, I coild see chance, opening a chair, as I sat down, I felt hands placing jewel over my hands, and wrist.
"About time?!" Shouted Jess. I smiled. As I got up from the chair the workers had a change of clothes, as I slipped on the clothes, and came out, everyone gasped.
"What do I got something on my face?" I asked.
"No, you just look like more of a star." Said another cast member. I sighed.
As I see baby metal, I make a disgusted look on my face.
"Glad to see you too." Moa in a sarcastic tone.
"Cmon let's get back out their!" Said Suzuka excited.
"Fine fine." I said as I did I saw Chance holding my pink guitar.
"Uh thanks?" I asked. I felt chsnce grip my hand when I grab my guitar from him.
"Its ok, let it out if you need to." Chance said.
"Im fine really, I already broke once before haha." I said before walking out on stage, I glanced seeing a massive crowd, amd towards both sides of the stage, I saw dancers, next to hooker poles, ans thought oh boy this is gonna be stressful.
"Hey everyone, um haha sorry I'm late." I said bowing. As I did I heard a enormous crowd scream, I smiled and put the guitar on flipping it behind me, as I walked towards the end of the stage, I could a few centaur in the front row, they looked at me with adoring eyes, I put my head down and walked down the stairs to them.
"Hello." The one I talked to staggered to speak. I smiled.
"Happy to be here?" I asked her. She nodded rapidly.
"Got a name?" I asked, she panted and her friends spoke up for her.
"Emily." They said. I moved the gate blocking them and put my hand on her arm.
"Relax girly." I said and Emily blushed bright red. Her friends made a excited giggle.
"Did you have any problems, any three of you?" I asked the three centaurs.
"Um"
"N-no?"
"....."
I look at Emily who didn't say anything.
"Well, I hope not, because my music is for all, races, human, or monster alike....now then you three come with me." I said backing up leaving the gated area, they stopped, I looked back.
"Haha don't be scared trust me you'll enjoy this." I said as I walked up a few steps they looked at me embarrassed.
"What afraid your to heavy?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Absolutely."
"........"
"Haha as far as I'm aware this stage is made of the strongest metal known to man and monster haha." I said as I walked onto the stage, they stepped onto the stage shyly.
"You always were a sucker for cute faces Josh." Commented Moa.
"You got that right." Said Jess.
"What can I say I just love showing new comers the best experience, they'll feel for their first rock concert." I explained.
"You can tell?" Asked one of Emily's friends.
"Of course, now then, what are your names?" I asked.
"Oh im tanya, and this centorea. Said Tanya.
"Nice to meet you." Said centorea.
"This is thr good part stand by whoever you feel comfortable with." I said.
"Really?!" Said Tanya.
"Of course!" I said smiling. Tanya walked over to moa, centorea walked by jess, and Emily just stood beside me.
"Haha I'm flattered, just stay close to me ok?" I said. Emily nodded. I glanced at Moa.
"You sure know how to show first timers a good time." Moa said.
"You wanna start with another song or shall i?" I asked as I did the crowd got loud. Tanya smiled excited, centorea giggled thrilled.
"The floor is yours josh." Said Moa.
"Ah your too kind, what says you Tokyo, what shall I sing for you all?" I asked as I felt a assistant placing a mic on my ear, before I spoke.
"Carry on!?" Yelled the crowd.
"Haha you people want me to sing loud I see?" I said.
"YEAH?!" the crowd yelled.
"Start her off Josh." Said Jess. I smiled and flipped my guitar to the front of me, taking off my jacket putting it on Emily, she smiled at me, and I smiled at her like a idiot.
"Hold onto my shirt, when I start moving far away from you, just when you feel scared other than that have fun?" I explained. Emily nodded.
I start playing my guitar strumming it three times, smiling, and seeing Moa point to the mic extending into the crowd, and make a kiss face towards her and she giggles as the two bands play in sync, I grab the mic attached to my ear and toss it towards Moa way. I smile behind me at Emily and motion her to follow me, she nods, as I start walking playing my guitar solo, I look around trying to find Amy, Yuki, and Serena in the crowd, but couldn't find them, as I reached the mic stand seeing the crowd, I flipped my guitar on my back again and started to sing grabbing the mic stand carrying it back to the center of the stage.
"Some people love out selfish desire
Some choose to shout when they speak
Ans they'll he the star!!!
Caught in the flames of those deep in fire
Seeking out those with a voice!!!! One for tomorrow!!!" I sang feeling Emily grab the back of my shirt, seeing the crowd go wild jumping up and down to the beat.
"Tb
They say we've lost our minds
We've just gained control
Search endlessly!!, fight til we're free
Fly past the edge of the sea!!
No bended knee-deep
No mockeryyyyyy!!!!
Somehow we still carrryyyyy oooonnnnnnnn!!!" I sang pointing to Moa doing the guitar solo, and push my hand out for Emily to stay, I see a wall towards that extended part of the stage, and during the solo, I run quickly and do a few feet high back flip onto my feet, smiling and dash back to the mic stand in the nic of time. Everyone goes crazy surprised and excited.
"Silence your fear, we've got to move higher!!
High like the stars in the sky!!, guiding us all!!" I shouted pointing to the sky. Flipping my guitar in front of me playing it loudly.
"Battle of will of those who conspire take back the passion to live, vanish the sorrow!!!
Destroy their perfect crime, watch the power fold!" I sang smiling as I started to walk towards Moa playing her guitar with her band mates.
"Search endlessly, fight til we're free
Fly past the edge of the sea!!!!
No bended knee
No mockery
Somehow we still carry!!!! Ooooonnnnnnnn!!!!!!" I shouted as everyone stopped playing i started loudly playing my guitar solo, walking around the stage and spinning, as the guitar solo continued I walked up the extended ramp followed by Emily behind me. As the drums started up again, I sang.
"Search endlessly!!, fight til we're free
Fly past thr edge of the sea
No bended knee
No mockery
Somehow we still carry on!!!" I sang playing the last few notes of the song before panting heavily. As I walked back to the two bands, moa clapped and spoke.
"Holy shit, that was crazy some new tricks ay?" Moa asked. I grabbed the mic from the stand.
"Nah just a little something, to keep the blood flowing." I said smiling.
"Now then HOW DOES THE CROWD FEEL ABOUT THESE LOVELY LADIES?!" Moa shouted. The crowd gets loud shouted "THEY ARE AMAZING?!" Moa smiling looking at Josh.
"Now then can my lovely rocker boy get some water?" Asked Moa. A team member from back stage came running out onto stage getting me some water, as I drank it the crowd got quiet, as I finished the water panting moa giggled.
"Bunch of weirdos watching a man drink his water." I said teasingly.
"Ladies, it is your choice to stay up here, but if not go backstage if you wish to relax."moa said. The three of them walked backstage but still close enough to the stage where they could see all of us. As I look back at Jess, she smirks ans points to one of the dancers. I make a no motion with my hand.
"Aw so rude joshy boi" said one of the dancers. I breath out.
"ITS ANGEL DUST?!?!" yelled the crowd.
"Angel dust whos thag?" Asked Emily.
"A whore,well a ex friend of ours well Joshs grew up with him in the studio." Said Chance.
"Wasn't angel the singer before Josh?" Asked centorea.
"Yup bad blood." Said Chance.
"Whats say you Tokyo shall we have a band reunion tonight?!" Shouted Jess.
I shaked my head annoyed. The crowd shouted yes. Angel dust looked and Josh and smirked.
"I moved my hair over my right eye as my long hair covers my right side of my face, the crowd glanced at Josh. I slammed down on my guitar followed by jess playing to my rhythm. I sped up my fingers playing.
"Til death do us part
But we're already last that phase" angel sang, as I started to play my guitar loud standing in one place, as angel dust went around the stage.
"This is a brand new start
And I think I deserve some praise
For the way that I am" angel dust sang as Josh played in sync getting faster in the notes playing the notes to angel's voice.
"Despite having overdosed
And ending up comatose
I don't give a damn!!
I've let my emotions go
Fuck being a sober hoe
This is the mantra" angel sang smiling glancing at Josh starting to play with his heart moving his hands more along the guitar neck, and moving some.
"This is my life
You're playing with now."
Serena pokes the back of chance.
"Hey." Spoke Serena. The three centaurs see Serena and wave silently then watch Josh.
"Im surprised you came." Said chance.
"Yeah." Sajd Serena as she watched Josh.
"Til the end of the night
Surrounded by fire
The passion ignites
A hit of that heaven and hell
A helluva high" angel sang i breathed out knowing what was up next glancing back at Jess, she smiled happily, I slightly smiled back. Jess ans angel started singing in sync.
"Im addicted
To the madness
This hotel is
My Atlantis
We're forever gonna have
A fucking reason to sin
Let me leave my soul to burn
And ill be breathing it in
Im addicted
To the feeling
Getting higher
Than the ceiling
And we're never gonna wait
This fucking feeling to end
Just concede and give into
Your inner demons again." Jess and angel sang before stopping looking at Josh for his solo. Serena looked at Josh deeply looking at his back.
I gripped my guitar slamming playing my guitar thr crowd going wild as I change my hands, sliding my hand down the neck of the guitar to no effort,as it finished I glanced seeing Jess motioning for me to come close to her, I stood in front of her drums, and co tinjed to play my guitar.
"Its like that guitar, and playing it releases him." Said Serena.
"More than u realize." Spoke chance.
"Yeah you fell in love." Jess sang as Angel smiled looking down at Josh dancing around jess's drums as she sang.
"But you fell deeper in this pit
While death rains from above
So count your blessings 'cause this is it
I'm not letting it go go go good
So what if I misbehav
Its what everybody craves
You already know
So come if you're feeling brave
And fancy yourself a mate
You want it I got it." Sang Jess, angel and Jess looked at Josh seeing him holding back his tears playing his guitar, reminding them of old memories.
"See what you like?
We could have it all
By the end of the night
Your money and power
My sinful delight
A hit of that heaven and hell
A helluva high." Sang Jess ans angel and her walked out to the extended stage into the crowd and I stayed back playing my guitar slamming hard on it, making the stadium shake.
"Im addicted" angel and jess sang looking at me motioning for me to come. I walked slowly towards them.
"To the madness
This hotel is my atlantis." They sang as I made it up to the two of them they put their arms around me singing, I continued to play.
We're forever gonna have
A fucking reason to sin." Angel and Jess stopped knowing Josh needed to sing this last part but they kept theirs around around him.
"Let me leave my soul to burn
And ill be breathing it in
I'm addicted
To the feeling
Getting higher
Than the ceiling
And we're never gonna want
This fucking feeling to end
Just concede ans give into
Your inner demons again." I sang looking at them surprised. I played my guitar louder than before the crowd loving it, as tears ran down my face, I felt Jess and angel move my hair letting the crowd see my happy tears.
"Im addicted
To the feeling
Getting higher
Than the ceiling
And we're never gonna want
This fucking feeling to end
Just concede and give into
Your inner demons again." Angel and jess sang. I panted and stopped strumming, as I was gonna collapsed exhausted, I felt angel pick me up by my arm holding me up. All three of us bowed, as he went backstage, angel sat me down in a chair. I panted softly gripping my face, sniffling into my hands.
"You ok Josh?" Asked Chance. I took a deep breath and pulled hands from my face, my cheeks were red. A second later, I felt angel hug me.
"Sorry." Angel said. I blushed softly.
"Its not a big deal." I said flustered pushing him softly from me.
"Hm?" Said chance.
"Im fine, stop worrying so much everyone." I said struggling to stand up, as I try, I fall onto my knees.
"DAMMIT?!" I yelled.
"Still as stubborn as usual." Angel commented.
"Yeah yeah, who even invited "mr Homo" over here?" I asked irritated having one of thr workers help me back into my chair.
"Um?" Said chance playing with his fingers. I sighed and wiped my face, feeling my arms shake strongly.
"You over worked it again." Said Chance.
"........." I stayed quiet panting heavily.
"Sorry girls, the concert will be ending soon." Said chance. I reached for my pocket and felt someone grab my hand, I looked up and saw Emily. I hesitated to say anything, she hugged me tightly. I smiled and pat her back. As the three left, I leaned back in my back, ans grabbed my smokes from my chair pocket.
"Josh you need to-" said Serena.
"Shut the fuck up, chance i want to go home." I commented.
"But, you are staying at my house?" Chance asked.
"Seems your rather moody tonight." Commented angel. As he said thay the leg on the chair broke and I fell onto my back, hitting thr back of my head against the atone floor. I didn't flinch as I laid on my back.
"Chance, why does this have to happen to me, all I wanted was to be happy." I said gripping my shirt, as tears ran down my neck. People quickly rushed grabbing a first aid kit and wrapping my head in gaze. Paramedics arrived soon after examining me.
"He seems more troubled then, those years ago." Said angel.
"Yeah, a close friend of ours just broke with him today." Said Chance.
"Bet that added fire to the flame." Said angel.
"Yeah, be safe on your way, wherever you go." Said chance. As thr paramedics finished up, i felt tired and closed my eyes falling asleep in my chair, sleeping off my sadness
(Sorry took so long)