Around the bunkhouse lies messy cowboys and empty bottles from the night before. Each person slowly makes their way to either the bathroom or kitchen.
"Hey guys, Ryan and I will be with my father today for Livestock. Lloyd will be with Rip today also. For the rest of you, you'll be working the horses. Make sure you get around to check the cattle down in the Florida field," Katie says taking a sip of her coffee.
"Finally getting our cattle back?" Colby asks putting on his boots.
"We asked nicely. Now we are taking them back or die trying," She states putting her now empty cup in the sink.
"Just be careful out there," Lloyd warns kissing her cheek.
"I will. Hell this won't be nothing compared to the desert. If I could live through that I'm sure I can handle a few pissed off Indians," She smirks before grabbing her jacket.
"Ready?" Ryan asks setting his cup down.
"When you are," She smiles putting on her hat and jacket.
Ryan leads the way out the door, allowing her to close it quietly.
"Hey Lovebirds!" Lee almost shouts meeting the two right outside the door.
Katie quickly punches Lee's shoulder, "Don't be so loud!"
Lee laughs wrapping his arm around her shoulder, "What? Scared someone will hear?"
She nods before groaning, "Why don't you slip into a coma or something?"
Ryan bursts into a fit of laughter as Lee looks almost offended.
"Why would you want to be with her? She is so rude. Always telling me to die and shit," Lee scoffs looking at Ryan.
"Aye, she hasn't said anything to me. I'm in it for the sex," Ryan shrugs causing the siblings to go wide eyed and slack jawed. "I'm kidding! Jesus. You two are too much alike," Ryan huffs as they get down to the crowd of people.
"Kat, you and Lee and Ryan are on horseback," John states the second they arrive.
"Good morning to you too," She scoffs walking over to Whisky who's already saddled.
"Morning, did you hear me or not?" John asks with a groan.
"Yes dad. I'm sure all off Montana heard you," She sighs leading her horse over to the trailer.
"Keep smarting off and see if I don't slap the taste out of your mouth," John snarls.
"C'mon Dad, you know how she is in the morning. It's been a rough week. Leave her alone," Lee says following Katie.
"Keep it up, Lee. I dare you to keep it up. I can't ask you kids to do a damn thing without complaining or mouthing off. Clearly you weren't taught enough respect," John snaps.
Katie shakes her head and turns quickly, almost as if she was lunging. "Respect?! We don't have respect?! You know what's not respectful?! This!" She yells pulling her shirt part of the way down showing the Y burnt into her skin. "Do you really wanna play the respect game right now?!" She huffs as Lee quickly grabs her, his arm holding her chest back.
"Walk away, Kat, walk away," He almost whispers looking towards the trailer as she knocks his arm away.
John steps forward a bit trying to be intimidating, "Get in the damn truck and be quiet."
Katie shakes her head, "No."
John growls and balls his fist, "I said get back in the damn truck."
Rolling her eyes Katie scoffs crossing her arms over her chest, "Yeah and I said no." Everyone else looks in aw.
"You made your point, Kat. We're all exhausted this morning. You guys can Duke it out later. Now let's go." Lee grabs her jacket and spins her around causing Katie to walk to the door.
"This is why I left." She mumbles just loud enough for her dad to hear.
"What did you say?"
Katie turns around quickly, "You heard me."
Johns eyes turn dark as his eyes dilate, "Yeah you left....Your brother, Rip, and me, we needed you. This ranch needed you. You walked away, Katie! Fuck you practically ran away the first chance you got!" He pushes slightly on Katie chest, his hands gathering up some of her shirt.
"Come on now! That's enough!" Lee struggles to get between them.
"You're the one that told me to leave, Dad. You're the one that said I was a disappointment. You're the one that pushed me away. You're the one who said don't come back, dad!-" Katie's voice gradually gets higher as she yells, "You're the one who slammed that door not me!" At this point tears are forming in her eyes, voice is starting to crack as Katie spits. "You were just pissed off I was becoming my own person! You were pissed off I didn't follow you blindly anymore like Lee!" Katie yells getting in his face as John keeps ahold of her shirt.
"Stop! Stop it! That's enough!" Lee yells breaking them apart. "Katie, please, please get in the truck. Let's not do this," Lee almost begs making her stiff jaw loosen.
Katie pushes away Johns hands before leading the way back to the truck.
"What a great morning in paradise," Lee almost scoffs sarcastically earning a scowl from John as he walks over to the passenger seat.
"Did you really have to point out dad has all control over me? Really? This early?" Lee asks climbing in.
Katie scoffs out a chuckle before starting the truck, "You know me. Brutally honest."
"Yeah well- it was so rude," Lee winks.
The riders line up in the tree line, fixing their tactical vests and ear pieces while glancing at one another.
"You know what?" Lee asks pulling up by his sister.
"What?" Katie asks patting both sides of Lee's vest to make sure he's properly shielded.
"After this, I say we go get fucking shit faced. It's been a long day of getting things prepared I think we deserve it."
Katie looks up and nods, "First rounds on me brother."
"Hell you know just how to make me feel all tingly inside," Lee says making Katie throw her head back laughing.
"Don't ever say that to me again," She says sobering up while wiping away a hysterical tear.
"What the fuck are you two talking about?" John asks over the ear piece making everyone with one bust up laughing.
"Nothing dad. Let's get this show on the road so we can go drink. We all deserve it," Katie says almost rolling her eyes.
"Maybe you can help me grab a lady at RJs tonight," Lee winks making her cock a brow and tilt her head. "Not like Ted Bundy grab but like hit on- not like Chris Brown hit on but- mother fuck you know what I mean, shithead."
Katie shakes her head and let's out a chuckle before hearing the helicopter closing in, "I can't believe we're doing both of these in one night. Totally not suspish. I mean who blows up part of a river and goes to steal cattle in the middle of the same night? Crazy, mentally unstable people."
"I mean look at who our father is," Lee winks before looking over. "That's the way the cookie crumbles little sister. It always has," He sighs readjusting himself before checking over Katie's vest. "You good? If not you can go back to the house right now. No one will judge you. Can you handle it?
"Yeah. Let's just hope this don't end up in a blood bath," She sighs swallowing hard as small pictures of Afghanistan flashes in the back of her mind.
"Okay good because I was about to silently judge you for leaving."
Katie almost scoffs before looking out to the field.
"But really, it'll be okay Kat. You're not over there anymore. This isn't a gun fight. It doesn't have to be. We will make it back home to drown all of our sorrows until tomorrow morning. Ready?" Lee says reassuringly after seeing her posture stiffen and the thousand yard stare in her eyes. She looks over and smiles weakly with a quick nod. "We're in position," Lee says holding down the com in his ear before earning a confirmation signal.
"Light em up," John says making the copilot turn on the spot light. "Lee, Kat get in there!"
The two look at each other one more time before kicking the horses belly's sending every wrangler towards the reservation field.
"Is that Kasey?" Katie asks seeing a horseback rider single handedly try to heard the cattle.
"God damn that boy," John groans before bringing the helicopter low and behind the rider. The first gun shot rings out making lights on patrol vehicles light up.
The livestock agents on four wheelers return fire towards the gunshots.
"No! No hold fire!" John yells in the coms. "Pull back. Pull back. Abort. Everybody pull back!"
Every livestock agent takes off back for Johns property avoiding the reservation police.
"We've gotta get the fuck out of here," Ryan says pulling close to Katie and Lee.
"We're not going anywhere without our beef," Lee states spinning quickly. Katie almost looks helpless before mindlessly following her brother.
Everyone quickly herds as much as they can before the patrol gets too close and starts firing.
"You want them back?! Come and get them!!" Lee yells looking towards the res as the other riders take off with the cattle.
"What the fuck are you yelling about?" Katie asks before turning back around.
A lone gunshot fills the air before Lee falls forward and off his horse. Her heart stops as she goes wide eyed.
"Lee!" Katie's voice comes out in a blood curdling scream watching Kayce knock down Robert. She races over, immediately dropping to Lee's aid.
"Hang on Lee. Hang on!" She yells as Kayce shoots Robert executioner style. She rummages through her saddle bag looking for something, anything that could help Lee.
"Kat," Lee takes in a deep breath, "Kat come here."
She races over with a few gauze and dressings, her tears flooding her vision. "I'm gonna make you better bubba. I am. Just- just give me-" Lee takes her hand shaking his head.
"I'll be okay. Just- just sit with me," His voice comes out raspy, mostly because of the blood filling his lungs.
"When I left for the Marines it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. You cried and clung to my leg begging for me not to go. It broke my heart, shattered it. But I knew I had to go so after I got out I could leave you and dad to handle all of this. But when you called me asking- begging me to come back to help I should have gotten on the first flight back. I'm so sorry Lee. I am so sorry I put that all on you. I should not have left you. Maybe if I would have just-," Katie cries holding Lee's hand tightly in hers.
Lee takes in a sharp agonized breath, "It's all okay, Kat. You'll be okay."
She cries and shakes her head, "C'mon man! Please? I know you're in there and you have more fight. I can't lose you again. Not after I just got back. When I had nothing, I still had you, and you had me too, 'cos you're my best friend, my hero. No matter what will happen, I'll be with you 'til the end of the line..." She moves some hair off of his forehead. "I don't know what to do now, I don't wanna fight. I can't watch more people die. Please don't die on me. Please?" Katie pleads for his life as he slowly fades away.
"For all the things I thought I'd ever say to you possibly the worst one came true," Katie sniffles resting her forehead against Lees, "I am so sorry."
Kayce comes up behind Katie and hugs her tightly. She falls back into his chest, as Lee's body lays across her lap. His blood soaks through her clothing, staining her sun kissed skin below. He holds her tighter as she wails harder gripping to Lee, bringing his head to her chest. She pulls him away a bit, looking over his blood splattered face. She takes in a deep breath bringing her shaky hand to his cheek. Slowly she leans forward and presses a kiss to his forehead before resting hers on his. Kayce just sits in silence, holding his baby sister in his arms as she breaks down.
After about half an hour passes Kayce finally speaks up. "Kat, we have to go. They're looking for you guys," Kayce treads lightly making her look up slowly.
Her blue eyes shine brightly through the tears in her eyes as she slowly nods. Kayce helps her to her feet before the two loft Lee to his horse. Her knees buckle as she gets over to her horse. Kayce races over and assists the young cowgirl into the saddle.
"I'm tying you off to me," Kayce sighs bringing the horse to his earning another nod.
Kayce ties Katie and Lee's horses together before leading on his horse. The ride back to the house is rough, dark, and cold. Katie just stares straight forward, her body limp and numb to the outside influences.
The sun slowly makes its way over the mountain, a cool breeze wisps through the air as the three make it back to the house. Jamie looks up and notices the state the riders are in. He takes off in a sprint along with John on horseback.
"She ain't talkin," Kayce states looking over at Katie as she stares blankly towards the horizon.
John calls over for Rip making the middle aged man rush over. "Take her, get her cleaned up, lots of rest. She'll talk when she's ready," John states. "You tell Jamie while everything is still fresh," He says looking at Kayce.
Rip nods and untangles Katie's horse allowing it to follow him towards the barn. He passes the reins to Jake before picking Katie up off the horse. Laura catch's a glimpse of Rip carrying Katie bridal style into the bunk house, blood splattered all over her.
"Kat!" Laura sprints over and into the house to help in anyway.
"Honey, she ain't talking. But, she's also not hurt, physically. Help me clean her up and get her into bed," Rip sighs walking towards the bathroom.
Laura looks like a kicked puppy helping Katie into the showers to clean off the dried blood.
"I wanted to save him," Katie mumbles looking at the ground. Laura and Rip both look at each other not sure if they heard her right due to the raspiness of her voice. They didn't know if it was from the cold, no water for hours, the blood curdling screams or a mixture of all of them.
"I know you did," Laura says quietly while starting the warm water.
"But, I couldn't. I couldn't save my own brother," Katie whimpers looking up with dead eyes. "I never knew I could feel this type of pain," She whimpers as a tear makes her way down her cheeks.
"Bug, you will get through this," Rip says softly taking her pony tail out of her hair.
"I don't think I will. Rip, I'm not sure I will," Katie sighs breaking down once again.
"Laura, can you get Ryan? I think he can better this," Rip sighs as Katie falls helplessly into his arms. Still weak from the traumas before. Laura runs out to get help from the other wrangler.
The door creeks open revealing a messy room. Empty bottles of booze everywhere. Clothes tossed randomly. Furniture thrown towards one corner. It lots almost as if a drunk thief broke in.
"It's worst than I thought," Jamie comments seeing Keeping Up With The Kardashian's on tv.
"She hates the Kardashian's," Ryan comments.
"Exactly." Jamie sighs before looking over on the bed. He jumps seeing Katie sitting there with a bottle of whisky in her grasp, pressed against her lips as she stares blankly out the window. Her beautiful blue eyes, glazed over and blood shot, almost as if the flame was gone. Her face pale and full of sorrow. Her natural bubbly glow, gone, into a dull weakness. They see Rip looking concerned in the corner. Rip had always been Katie's go to person whether it was boy trouble or having a bad hair day. But this, this was something else. It was the same thing he had to deal with just a year ago when she returned home from Afghanistan. He stayed with her day and night through the night terrors and flashbacks. He was there through the drunken nights, that turned into even more drunker days. He was her rock in those moments. He kept her from sinking. But, this time was different.
"Kat?" Jamie questions nodding for the other wranglers to leave. Her gaze slowly turns to him and then back at the window.
"I'm waiting," She mumbles holding a photo close to her chest.
"Kat, Kat he isn't coming home. You know that," Jamie sighs stepping closer. "It's done and over with. Lee is dead."
"I don't want to be done. I don't want this to be over because when this is over I have to admit that- he's gone. Forever. I'm not ready. I need him. I can't do this without him," Katie yells looking at Jamie. "He was my best friend! My mentor! We- we stayed and worked countless hours on this god damn ranch together. We bled and we cried together, Jamie. That is something you will never understand! He died in my arms. I tried to save him. I tried but- but he just died," She takes in a shaky breath before falling forward, bawling her eyes out.
Jamie just sighs and walks out, making Ryan step forward.
"Hey Babe," Ryan almost coos sitting on her bed.
"Give me a sign or I have to give up. I can't do this anymore. Being alive hurts too much. It's the loneliness. I can't take it," Katie's voice shakes as she leans up.
"Kat, Cmon honey, please don't talk like that" Ryan begs with a shaking voice.
"No! No, Ryan! I can't do this anymore! This constant aching pain that is a death stinging pain. Like a liquid fire just burning where my heart should be. This hurts too much!" Katie yells making him flinch some.
"Katie, Katie just listen to me please?" He scoots forward cautiously. "You don't want die you just want to stop hurting. That's all. You're hurting right now Kat. You loved him. He was your hero. Your big brother," Ryan takes her hand into his, "This pain- this won't last forever. I know it's scary and I know it hurts. But the only way to heal to pain is to go through the pain, to feel the pain. You need to grieve." Katie falls forward into Ryan's chest, clinging on as if her life depended on it.
After a long pause Ryan sighs, "I think we should move you back into your dads house for a bit. That way you can truly grieve without 8 other ranch hands watching." Ryan twirls her hair in his fingers almost lost on what to do.
"I think it's a good idea," She chokes out in a whisper.
"I'll help Rip get your things together," Ryan presses a soft kiss against her temple before getting up.
Katie slowly drags herself to her feet before grabbing her whisky and picture book full of memories. She scoots herself across the bunkhouse and to the truck outside. Without saying a word she takes the running vehicle and speeds off out of the driveway and into town. After about 15 minutes of driving, Katie pulls into a parking lot. She gets out and takes a small walk to clear her head but ends up in the bar. Shocker.
"Hey Kat! What'll it be?" James asks drying off a cup.
"Whiskey, neat. Make it a triple," She sighs sitting in a bar stool.
"What happened?" He asks pouring the drink.
"My brother uh- he died last night."
James cocks a brow before frowning, "Oh my. I'm so sorry, Kat. Drinks are on the house tonight."
She lifts her glass and tips her head towards him, "Thanks."
He pats her shoulder, "It's all, everything, on the house."
She smiles and thanks the young bartender again before looking around the somewhat packed bar. James sets down the bottle in front of Katie allowing her to walk over to the old booth her and Lee would take every time they came to RJs. Her eyes slowly trail over the now empty seat where he always was; hitting on girls, telling horrible jokes, hanging his head after a bad day, etc. She smiles slightly at the memories while drinking the burning liquor before pouring another round. It was going to be a long night.
Katie's fingers fumble through the memories in her book, throwing drinks back one after another. Some of the memories make her chuckle to herself as a few tears brim her eyes.
"Damn it Lee," She sniffs before quickly wiping off her cheeks. "Why'd you have to be so damn stubborn? Couldn't just pull back when told."
As the evening carries on she watches as people come and go while sipping her whiskey. Many try to approach but leave seeing her state of mind by not even getting five feet away. They had heard on the news about the accident the night before, wanting to say how sorry they were today but they knew she wouldn't respond.
The sun starts to set on the valley almost as if it was mourning itself. The birds go back to their nests quietly as everyone gathers at the Dutton ranch.
"Kat? It's time," Laura says placing her hand on Katie's shoulder.
Katie looks up with tear stained cheeks before nodding and standing up. The blonde follows closely behind Laura before Laura stops and hooks her arm with Katie's for support.
"He wasn't supposed to die," Katie mumbles as everyone starts to walk to the gravesite.
"I'm sorry Kat," Laura sighs as they stand further away than anyone else.
"I should have been paying more attention. I should have saved him. It should have been me," Katie sighs shaking her head before hanging it low.
Laura hugs the smaller girl tightly as she lets out a few quiet sobs. You'd think Katie would be dehydrated with how much she's cried in the last forty-eight hours. Time almost stops, no birds, no wind, nothing but the faint noise of a preacher praying fills the air before the ceremony is over.
Everyone makes their way back to the house. Most going their separate ways, not wanting to over stay and drive salt into a fresh wound.
"Let me know if you need anything, Bug," Rip says as Katie gets to the door of the house.
"I will. Thank you," She smiles weakly before Rip kisses her cheek and walks away.
"I was just coming to see how you are and how you're holding up," Ryan says standing at the front door.
"My brother died and I just put him in the ground. You tell me how I'm doing," Katie almost spits before swallowing hard.
"Kat, don't shut me out. Talk to me. I'm here for you. I love you," Ryan almost whispers glancing over at the rest of her family under the big live oak tree.
"I can't do this," She mumbles before clearing her throat. "No body ever stays. Everyone always leaves me. They all just keep on dying. That's why I cannot do this Ryan. I am a fucked up mess of a human being that is incapable of love. I cannot let myself love you, Ryan. I can't. Because in the end I will hurt you. I am sorry Ryan. I'm so sorry," Katie sighs as she closes the door softly.
AN:
4040 words
Sorry if the very end is a little shitty and for any sadness this chapter may have caused (I cried writing it because I put myself in my characters shoes more than I should). I'm writing this on almost no sleep because college during the day and working in a healthcare facility at night is getting to the best of my brain! But I'm definitely not done with this story! Just super busy! I hope you all like it!