TWELVE | "no rest for the wicked"
━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━━
THE forest, Nova has always thought, is one of those places that is a grim reminder of what life can throw at you. It's a creaking shack created by nature to serve as a reminder that things could always be much, much worse. The unnatural, choking mist that swirls and sprawls on the forest floor is the first thing that spoke of a strange sort of wrongness.
A yawn escapes her lips as the leaves crunch beneath her feet. She hasn't slept in God knows how long. A sinking feeling reignites in her chest — she can't fight a battle when her body is already giving up on her. And her journey is only just beginning. No rest for the wicked, right?
Only half an hour ago did she leave Clarke and Finn by a small clearing close to their camp. While Finn was refilling his bottle with water from the river, Nova ushered Clarke aside, that being her only chance to ask for a favour.
Her palms became clammy, nervous as to what Clarke's reaction would be. She had only known her for a day. "Can you do this one thing for me?"
Clarke nodded, vivaciously, but with cautious eyes.
"Can you tell Nathan Miller I said hi? Say my name's Noo, he should know who you mean as soon as you mention that."
Almost as though she expected it, Clarke's eyes grew wide with excitement. "Noora, right?"
"Uh, I don't—" Nova stuttered, panicked. She didn't expect her to know straight away. She thought Clarke didn't have a clue about her true identity, and the addition of being called her birth name for the first time since landing on the ground majorly threw her off as she cautiously looked back at Finn to ensure he didn't hear that.
"Please don't worry. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to," Clarke reassured her, taking a weight off of Nova's shoulders as she slowly nodded, clarifying she would rather her secret stayed just that.
"How did you know about me?"
"You still look the same as you did when you were younger. I thought I was delusional when it first came to my mind that it was you, but the more time I've spent with you, and your drive to help us, has confirmed my suspicions. It's nice to know you're alive, Noora."
"It's nice to hear my name come from someone's voice that isn't mine." She laughed out of pitifulness, but Clarke gave her a heartfelt glance, putting her hand gently on Nova's arm.
"I'll make sure Miller knows you're alive. He at least deserves that." Maybe she was wrong about Clarke after all. She possesses leadership qualities and that can be intimidating, but she will do anything for her people, and Nova admires that.
After Clarke promised to keep Nova's secret to herself, aside from Miller, they said their thanks and waved goodbye. She wanted to help them reach their camp, their final destination, but Anya would have her killed if she wasn't back in time for the start of the battle, so Nova thought it would be wise to leave.
All that surrounds her now is the emptiness of the woodland. No sound. No movement. Even the birds have disappeared.
"Oh, war is here all right," she mutters to herself, kicking the leaves in her path with her outgrown boots.
Without warning, Nova's startled when a crunching sound is barely audible from behind her, yet her senses are so heightened she manages to hear it. Her eyes dart around the seemingly endless forest, trying to find the source of the noise.
But she sees nothing.
Until she squints her eyes and notices a person cowering behind a tree in the distance. Their dark sweater is the only thing visible against the amber glow of the fallen leaves, their back against the tree.
Nova doesn't even have to decide if she should approach the person or not. She's banished after the war is over, so she's got nothing to lose.
As she nears the figure, small cries can be heard escaping their lips while simultaneously taking deep breaths, as if they're trying to stop themselves from showing weakness. Her mind wants her to be rational, to run away from the potential danger, but she feels compelled to help, to somehow ease their suffering.
"Are you...Are you okay?"
At the sudden sound of her quaint voice, the person jumps to their feet. And the realisation makes Nova stop dead in her tracks, frozen in place.
It's Murphy. Of course it's Murphy. The world is truly trying to test her, waiting to see her break.
For a moment, they're both in dismay, staring at each other with incredulity, but at the same time rendered speechless. They want to speak to one another, but no words are able to form. Heartache returns at the pit of Nova's stomach, more intensely than ever before. But, Murphy soon let's rage seep in. He can't help it. The last time he saw her was when she was sticking a knife deep into his skin, the scars still littering his body, a grim reminder of how their relationship ended.
"You're the last person on Earth I want to see right now. If you get any closer to me, I will kill you," his voice and his words are both forceful, and he means every one of them, with a blood-stained knife firmly in his grip. Nova can't ignore how hearing those words come from his mouth feels like death itself.
"Murphy, please!" She pleads, her voice straining.
"You left me to die. Sorry you're not at the top of my best buddies list," he sneers with his back turned to her, already leaving. He may be miserable, but his wit never fails to shine through. Murphy is a lost cause, she knows that. But she has to talk to him somehow.
She feels driven to not give up on him, to run after him and apologise a million times over. But she doesn't get the chance. Being so caught up in the moment, Nova hasn't realised someone creeping behind, stalking her. A blacked-out sheet is forced over her face as, once again, she's taken at the mercy of someone stronger than her.
Her mind is willing her to kick and scream until her lungs give out. But her heart knows it's a waste of time, so she stays limp. If anyone saw them from afar, it would seem as if her capture is carrying a dead body.
Along the journey, Nova loses count of how long they have been on the move for. It seems like so much time has passed, but, realistically, she knows it's only been an hour or so. That is, until she's dumped onto the rugged ground with not a single care for her. She lands heavily on a few fallen tree branches, cursing aloud before demanding her blindfold to be taken off. Surprisingly, they listen to her.
Her eyes immediately open, blinking rapidly as all of her senses try to grasp the gravity of her situation. Her body is at the root of a tree trunk, and she immediately knows that's the reason for why she feels so uncomfortable. The least shocking part is Rento standing over her, his signature, devilish grin covering his face. Next to him stands Tristan, a man Nova has only heard nightmare-like stories about.
Beside her, though, is someone she thought she would never see again: Murphy. He's sitting on the tree next to hers, but no where near reaching distance. When he catches on to Nova looking at him, he avoids her eye contact, looking anywhere but in her direction. She notices his apparent look of dejection, and her mind wonders to what could have happened in the time before she found him crying in the woods. It must have been unpleasant to make Murphy, of all people, break down.
With both of them captured again, Nova can't hold in a laugh, no matter how dire their circumstances. She really must be loathed by her people to have been taken against her will twice.
Funny how things come full circle.
"Do you think this is all a joke? We're heading into war and you're acting like a child!" Tristan exclaims, taking a few steps closer to Nova, menacingly pointing his finger at her. That doesn't fail to shut her up. In fact, she's more scared of him than she is of Anya.
And, almost as if on cue, Anya marches down the hill to join Tristan by his side, her war paint fresh on her face. Nothing surprises Nova anymore, she simply expects the worst. So when Anya appears, she prepares herself to be killed right then and there. Nova is still unsure if Anya saw her with Lincoln the night before, and she isn't looking forward to the punishment if that's the case.
"What, don't know what to do with me? Come on, Anya. I'm either expendable or useful. Make up your mind." Nova rolls her eyes. Some people would think she's crazy for speaking to her leader like that, but she's fed up of being treated like a second citizen by her own people.
"I don't trust you to fight in the war with us. You're too attached to the sky people and I can't count on you to kill them without hesitation. You'll stay here until it's over, and then you are to leave. The condition of your banishment is that you can never join Trikru again, or any other clan. That includes the sky people. If you are ever seen on their side, anyone from Trikru has been given the order to kill you. Understand?"
"No. How come Lincoln doesn't get this treatment? He's doing exactly the same as me, helping the enemies, so why am I the only one being punished for it?" Nova stands her ground, fighting her own battle. Of course, she doesn't want Lincoln to get the same treatment as her, but she can't ignore the inequalities staring right at her.
But, instead of answering her with words, Anya stares at her, knowingly, eyebrows raised.
Nova is being banished simply because of who she is. From the start, everyone hated her because she wasn't a true Grounder, and nothing has changed. This was going to happen sooner or later. Deep down, she always knew she wouldn't spend her whole life being apart of Trikru.
"So, I'm being banished because you all hate that I wasn't born here. Great. Because that's so fair." She sarcastically throws her arms up in the air, shaking her head.
"Who said we need to be fair? Life is tough, deal with it," Anya grunts, throwing an unused sword next to Nova's feet, telling her it's the only thing she can use to aid in her survival.
Nova starts to squirm around on the floor, becoming agitated very quickly. "But it doesn't need to be! This is unnecessary!"
"Unnecessary? You've caused a rift in our village ever since you arrived. With you gone, we can return to normal." Anya clenches her fists. Tristan and Rento agree with her, which only frustrates Nova further.
"How is that my fault people didn't like where I came from? I was eight years old! I was a child, and it's their fault if they had a problem with that. I'm sorry I wasn't a perfect little girl that you could brainwash into thinking killing innocent people is normal. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience I've caused. Oh, wait...maybe, I'm not."
Nova's lost any ounce of her that cares for her people, her witty comments make Murphy struggle to hold in a laugh. It's the first time he's positively reacted to her since their incident, making her feel like there is hope.
But, Anya has had enough of Nova's snarkiness.
"I don't want to hear another word. You better be gone when the war is over, or I'll kill you myself," she warns, turning her back to the girl and beginning her march up the hill.
"Wait!" Nova calls, waiting for Anya to stop walking as she glances over at Murphy. "What about him?"
"He lives. Once this is over, he can go back to his people, or what's left of them." Her disregard for human life never fails to amaze Nova, but she's relived that at least Murphy gets the chance to survive. But the relief is short-lived. A dagger is plunged into Nova's upper leg by Rento, and Tristan does the same to Murphy. Almost in synchrony, they yell out in pain, seething at their teeth.
"Bastards," she mutters under her breath, but Rento catches onto it and digs the knife further into her leg with a menacing smile.
"I'll see you in hell." Nova smiles sarcastically. He rips the dagger out forcefully, blood oozing out of it, carelessly dripping onto the twigs strewn on the ground. In the background, she can hear Murphy grunting in pain, his body doubled over as he tries to cope with the discomfort.
Tristan stands tall, attempting to appear threatening, but there is very little that scares Nova now.
"Someone will be here to make sure you don't help the enemy. If banishment teaches you anything, it's that you wish you would've begged to be killed when you had the chance."
Nova gulps. But, as much as she can let Tristan's words fester in her mind, she wants nothing more than to prove every single one of Trikru wrong. There will be tough moments, but she's a survivor, and her stubbornness will prove in her favour.
And, before they know it, Murphy and Nova are left alone again. This time, it's different, more awkward. Silence descends on them, the tension laced in the air is thick. Nova would prefer to be shouted at and ridiculed over this any day.
She notices he's still struggling with the blood-flow out of his leg, so she cautiously advises, "Hold your hand tightly over the wound. You need to stem the blood flow otherwise you could bleed out."
Murphy scoffs, avoiding eye contact with her. "Like you care."
"You know I care," she speaks, softly.
"Do I? I'm still in pain because of the amount of times you cut me with that sword. If that's care, then I don't want it."
"Murphy..."
"No. Spare me with your half-assed apology. Out of everyone, I never thought you'd be the biggest disappointment."
Nova squeezes her eyes shut, attempting to stop the tears from falling, but a few stray ones cascade down her face. A disappointment. What a gut-wrenching thing to be called from someone she cares so deeply about. Though, she understands his hurt. She felt something similar to when Astoria betrayed her, but it never turned physical.
"Anya would've killed me if I didn't..." she delays putting her actions into words, fearful of her own emotions. "If I didn't hurt you like I did."
"Maybe she would've done us all a favour," he speaks before he even has the chance to think, with spite ringing in his voice as he glares at her with hatred in his eyes.
"You...You don't mean that," her voice is shaking, trembling at the thought of Murphy wanting her dead. He shrugs, nonchalantly, as if Nova's life means nothing to him. But, she doesn't know that he's secretly lying. Her heart shatters in that moment. Like everything was for nothing. Her breathing accelerates, her vision becoming blurred as numerous amounts of tears run down her cheeks. This is her breaking point. Over a boy.
What she doesn't see, though, is Murphy's face suddenly becoming ridden with guilt, like he didn't intend for his words to have such an impact. For a moment, he sits there, unsure of what to do. He doesn't want to appear soft to her, he doesn't want her to be his weakness. But he does what his instincts tell him, and shuffles along the ground to be close to Nova. The feeling of his arm brushing against hers prompts Nova to lift her head. She looks a wreck. Tiredness plagues her face, but now heartbreak at the same time.
"I...I didn't mean it," Murphy whispers, with a small smile. No matter how many times he opens up to Nova, he still feels vulnerable apologising.
"No. No. I deserve it," Nova sniffles, the remnants of tears still on her face. Despite feeling she deserves people wanting her dead, she feels somewhat lighter knowing Murphy didn't truly mean what he said. It takes a lot for him to admit he's wrong.
"What you did was a survivors move. I would've done the same."
"But that doesn't excuse what I did. I hurt you," Nova pauses, tears welling up in her eyes once again. "I can't describe how much that pained me to see you go through that at the hands of my own. I know it doesn't mean much, but I am deeply sorry."
For the first time since the incident, Nova and Murphy's eyes interlock, both staring at each other with longing faces. Cuts litter every inch of his face, while tears still stain Nova's cheeks, her eyes blood-shot from crying.
Two broken souls trying to find their place in a fractured world.
"It's so hard for me to hate you right now," Murphy mumbles, his face growing ever-closer to hers by the second. Butterflies instantly form in Nova's stomach, feeling nervous as Murphy's thumb gently caresses her cheek.
She knows where this is going, but she questions whether she's ready for it. There is still so much to be said, to explain. They can't simply jump to the next stage without building their trust back up. It doesn't feel right.
Nova scrunches her face up, lightly shaking her head. "Murphy, I..."
The moment she's about to explain herself, the leaves rustle in the distance, putting them both on high alert. They dart their eyes across the woodland, until a figure finally emerges.
"Harlo?"