"You better not snore, demon..."
I just sat back and watched the two blonds give each other the stink eye, casually chomping on a packet of Devilcorn I had brought along for the trip. It was just regular popcorn, but I supposed they didn't want to copy our human snack name.
"I assure you, I do not snore. Count your blessings you aren't stuck with Beel, or Mammon, for that matter." Satan rolled his eyes as he dug through his bag, pulling out what looked to be a small, battery powered book light.
"I would prefer to not be stuck with any demon..." Luke grumbled, giving his pillow an aggressive fluffing. "(Y/N) needs protection, though...so I suppose I shall endure..."
Aw, he's a sweet little baby boy. Maybe I'll buy him a milk bone when we get back?
My sleeping bag was between the two of them, and I crawled over to make myself comfortable, stretching my legs out until I heard a satisfactory crack.
"You'll warm up eventually, Lukey. I think I like demons. At least the ones who don't wanna chew on me." When I gave Satan a smile, he averted his eyes, but I didn't take it to heart.
"Yeah, well, you'll find out they aren't good soon enough, I'm sure..." The smallest angel yawned, snuggling down in his sleeping bag and rolling over to face the tent wall. "Wake me up when it's breakfast, please. Sleep well, (Y/N)."
Everyone had been rather exhausted from the trek and had gone to bed early, but I was still wide awake. Late to bed, late to rise had always been my motto, and it hadn't changed down there.
"So, Satan, my dear...whatcha reading..?" I shifted over towards the blond, and in turn, he scooted closer to his wall.
"A German novel from the human world. One you certainly would not have read." He was back to acting rather pompous, but I tried not to let it bother me.
Taking a quick glance at the cover in the dim light, I moved closer, obviously frustrating the demon.
"Felidae, a tale of cats and murder, huh? I read that when I was like twelve." I pointed to the bust of a ginger cat on the cover, digging through my exceptionally empty head to try and recall the plot. "Isn't there like, furry porn in there at some point? I mean, the story is deep, and reminiscent of the old Sherlock stories, but are you a furry, Satan?"
It took a few long moments for him to register what I had said before he scrunched up his nose, closing the book gently overhis index finger, which he used as a marker.
"I certainly am not. I just appreciate literature that involves cats, is all...Especially crime novels..."
Humming, I dared to scooch just a little closer, nearly shoulder to shoulder with him as I reached out to open the book back up to take a gander.
"Yeah, not much out there that isn't shit in the sexy cat detective genre...Yikes, you can read German? Just how big is that brain of yours, Satan? Spare some cells for the rest of us."
It was obvious he wasn't even slightly amused, but this time I didn't try to scoot away or push me back. In my books, that was progress.
"I'm fluent in many languages. You could be too if you actually gave a damn about your studies..." He grumbled, shifting to give me a glare that really didn't come off as sharp as he likely intended.
"Well, I might be willing to put a little more effort in if you actually tutored me. Maybe like, an extra seven percent? Eight if you wear a bikini." With my arm still over him to keep the book open I swore I felt his will to live slowly seeping from his body.
He's warm, though...
"If you're done, roll over and go to sleep. I read to relax, and if you keep speaking I'll end up staying awake all night." As usual, he was stern, but it was as though he knew I wasn't going to listen.
"But I need to chuck a piss and if I go out there alone I'm gonna get eaten by, I dunno what kinda animals you have here. A chewbacca? A platypus? Nicholas Cage but specifically from the movie Matchstick Men?"
Satan stared at me for the longest time, completely taken aback by my sheer audacity.
"Ch..chuck a what? You know what? Nevermind. Fine, I'll escort you, but make it quick. Only so I don't get one of Lucifer's twisted punishments if you do end up in the stomach of some wild beast."
Careful to not wake Luke, we crept out of the tent and walked a short ways away from the camp-site, where I began hunting for the perfect urination bush.
"Y'know, you're a lot nicer than you let on. Dare I say, you may even be a gentleman?" I piped up, finally choosing where I wished to mark my territory and pulling my pants down.
"Don't get the wrong idea. I'm simply doing what Lord Diavolo wants me to do. I couldn't care less." Satan muttered, facing the opposite direction as I did my business. "The one and only fascination I have with the human world is their literature. Nothing more."
But you still helped me out...
"Well, in my lowly human eyes, you've already saved me from being eaten by those demons at the RAD newspaper club or whatever it was, and you distracted Luci for me, too. And now you're guarding me whilst I empty my bladder, so I'm choosing to label you as a nice guy." I stated confidently, finishing up and sorting myself out, spinning the roll of toilet paper I had brought with me on my finger.
Even in the dark, I saw Satan roll his eyes, but he still waited for me to reach his side before he began to walk.
"That kind of mindset could very well get you killed down here." I knew he was right, but I was sure I didn't have to worry about that when it came to him, or the other demon brothers.
Before I could respond with something idiotic or surprisingly witty, a rustling sound met my ears, and I instinctively leapt behind Satan, grasping the back of his shirt.
"I..I told you! It's Academy Award winning actor and film-maker, Nicholas Cage!"
Sure, I said something stupid, but I was actually kind of scared. The Devildom was brand new to me, and I wasn't sure what to expect, especially out in the middle of the forest. Much to my surprise, Satan shifted to properly stand in front of me, staring into the dark.
Out of a thicket hopped a small, run of the mill rabbit, twitching its nose before lolloping away and out of sight again. Groaning out a sigh of relief, I relaxed, allowing my head to fall against Satan's back.
He protected me again...
"You just proved my point..." I murmured, hoping he wouldn't pull away and leave me to become a late night beast snack. "Trust me, it isn't like I want to rely on you guys as much as I do...I'm just...not great at things..."
While still somewhat tense, Satan didn't try to push me away. He just sighed, glancing over his shoulder.
"I mean, I wouldn't say that, exactly. You're just...different. Not in the worst way..."
The way he just said it doesn't sound as bad as when others have called me that...
Not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable than I already had, I stepped away and up to his side, walking along in the dark.
"The other day you mentioned lending me a book. The Great Gatsby, if I recall correctly. Would...that offer still be on the table..?"
Perking up, I nodded enthusiastically, slightly pinching his sleeve so if I fell down a hole or tripped over a root, he'd be coming down with me.
"Absolutely! I have a copy in my bookshelf at home...Maybe Barbie will be nice enough to get it for me? I think you'll really like it, if you're into classic literature. Oh! I have some stuff by George Orwell, too! You'd love his books! I-"
My lips zipped when I realised Satan was staring down at me, and I silently tore into myself. I talked a lot, I knew that. Not much of what I ever said made sense, either, so I was used to being judged, or told to shut up.
"Here's the deal." Satan didn't sound angry, or even remotely pissed off when he spoke. "In exchange for lending me these books you're talking about, I'll tutor you in whatever you need help with for school. Does that sound fair?"
Oh my god? He doesn't hate me?!
"Deal! Let's pact on it!" It was worth a shot, in my opinion, and I held my hand out, squeezing my eyes shut just in case he decided to sock me in the face. Instead, I felt his hand take mine, and I flinched.
"Do you think a pact would piss Luficer off?"
Opening my eyes, I blinked a few times, trying to make out his expression in the dark.
"Oh, shit, yeah, he didn't seem too thrilled about my pact with Beel, so maybe-"
"I, Satan, Avatar of Wrath, hereby offer my life and my blood to you, for all eternity."
There was that strange heat again, just like when Beelzebub had recited those words, and I visibly shuddered. Satan released my hand, and I flexed it a few times.
"I...Wow. Okay, I did not expect you to actually pact with me. Uh...thank you?"
Satan snorted, kind of dryly, but not as snobbish as it usually seemed.
"Just don't go abusing it. That was purely to piss Lucifer off, and Mammon, as a bonus. Come on, it's getting late." He reached out and tugged me into a pull by the front of my shirt collar, and I followed obediently.
Does that mean he kind of wants to be proper friends too? This is great! Oh! I'm also closer to helping out that Bugglesnore guy! Sweet!
"So...does that mean no summoning you at four in the morning when I'm bored and want someone to play with..?" I smirked, and I didn't need to see his face to know he was glowering.
"I already regret this..."
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***It's me, ya bitch, who just so happened to get reminded of this after starting the Nightbringer game.
No promises I'll keep it up, though.
Next Time: Twelve Raccoons In A Fursuit***