Whumptober 2020 Prompt No. 13 - Breathe In, Breathe Out
Delayed Drowning | Oxygen Mask
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If it hadn't been for the stiffness in Peter's limbs and how his muscles had started to shake again as his body started to warm, what had happened on the lake - and in the ice-cold water - would have seemed like nothing more than a nightmare back in the cozy warmth of the Stark's living room.
It had all been happening rather fast after they had both been pulled out of the water. Once they had Mr. Stark out of his wet clothes, Peter helped him up to his feet, one arm around his back. His legs felt like they didn't even belong to his body but it wasn't far to the living room, then to the couch and Mr. Stark definitely needed the support. Pepper rushed in after them, thick blankets in hand.
"Alright, on the couch with him. Pete, go and change! Something dry and warm, go on!"
By the time Peter made it back downstairs, Mr. Stark too was in a dry set of clothes lying on his back on the couch, his head propped up a little, blankets all around him and his daughter clinging to his torso. For a moment, Peter just stood there in the doorway, hesitating, completely entranced by father and daughter. How she had curled up half on top of him, how Mr. Stark's head was bowed, snuggled into the girl's hair, whispering soft reassurances, comforting her.
"Darling, come on, take this." Pepper had walked up behind him and pressed a cup of hot tea into his hands, then ran a hand through his wet hair, cupping his face. "You're still cold as ice. Go on, get yourself on the couch."
She pressed the other cup into Mr. Stark's hands, then planted a kiss on his forehead. The man's eyes fell shut at the gesture and he pulled in a deep breath then scrunched up his face and his whole body shook with another coughing fit. Pepper was fast to keep his hand steady so he wouldn't spill the hot beverage over himself.
"Shh, just breathe, honey, just breathe."
It seemed that was easier said than done, but soothing words did calm him down. Exhaustion was lining his face.
"We just need to warm you back up, okay? Both of you." She sent a look in Peter's direction.
Peter sat up a little straighter. Frantically wondering what to do to get warmer, he blew on the tea in his hands and took in a deep breath, the hot steam rushing into his lungs. His eyes fell shut in pure bliss. There was no denying how good it felt to have that warmth spread deep inside his body. He blinked his eyes open in surprise when a heavy blanket was placed around his shoulders as well.
"Just lean back, get your legs up on the couch, dear," Pepper whispered, making sure the blanket stayed in place as he shuffled further back onto the couch. She wrapped a second one around his legs, tugging it in tightly. "Alright, that's better."
"Th-thanks, Pepper," he said quietly, his face half-hidden behind that cup of tea.
Her expression was still tense, the worried lines on her forehead speaking volumes. She took the cup of tea out of his hands again.
"Be careful with that. Your hands are so cold you might burn them and won't even realize."
A corner of the blanket wrapped around the cup, she carefully put the mug back into his hands, then cupped his face and looked straight at him. For a moment, it seemed like she wanted to say something but she didn't. Her lips tightly pressed together, she worked the hood of his sweatshirt out from underneath the blanket on his back and pulled it over his wet hair.
"Come on, sweety," her hand stretched out in Morgan's direction. "Let's get some wood for the fireplace, hm? So the boys can warm up."
Morgan's eyes sparkled and she jumped at the chance to help. For the moment, that left him and Mr. Stark alone on opposite ends of the couch. His tea still too hot to actually drink, Peter kept blowing at it, inhaling the steam and shifting his eyes over to his mentor.
He didn't look at Peter, holding his own cup of tea that was wrapped with his blanket just like Peter's.
"Mr. Stark?" Peter swallowed hard. "Tony, are... are you okay?"
He cringed at how dumb that sounded. Of course, he wasn't okay, but he would be, right? He had to be. For the longest moment, the man didn't say anything. With every passing second of silence, Peter's heart seemed to beat a little louder.
"You k-keep saving me, huh?" Mr. Stark whispered at last. "I don't l-like it."
Peter blew out a breath, he hadn't even realized he was holding. "Well, I... I don't like it either, you know? So just..." He shrugged in an effort of the dry banter they usually engaged in, the ghost of a smirk on his lips. "Stop trying to die on me, How about that?"
It was meant as a flippant remark but Mr. Stark's head shot up, his eyes burning. "I t-told you not t-to do this anymore, didn't I?"
Peter's eyes widened. His heart jumped into a jittery pace like that of a scared little bunny rabbit.
"I t-told you to stop r-risking your life f-for me, didn't I?" The man's voice was as cold as the lake they had been submerged in less than 30 minutes ago.
Peter's hands were shaking and it didn't have anything to do with the mild hypothermia at this point. "B-but, Mr. Stark, you—"
"There are n-no 'but's here, no neg-gotiations! Just f-fucking stop!"
Peter retreated into the cushions of the couch as far as they would allow it, his face hidden behind the blanket and mug of tea for his eyes were burning with tears. In fact, he had to press the blanket against his mouth to stifle the shallow sobs he couldn't suppress when Pepper and Morgan rushed back into the room.
The raspy cough Mr. Stark was shaking with once again, made Peter only feel worse. Pepper did her best to calm him down with whispered soft words, reassuring touches. Peter couldn't watch though. Not as Mr. Stark was trying to catch his breath. Not as the girl kept giggling, talking her dad through everything she did when Pepper showed her how to build the fire. Instead, he tried to hide beneath the blankets as best as he could, frantically trying to come up with a plan on how he could just get out of there. How he could just leave and crawl under the covers of his own bed far, far away from all of them.
It wasn't like he'd had a choice! What... he didn't even know what Mr. Stark had expected of him. Should he have just walked away? Let the man drown with his wife and daughter watching on? After all the mumbo-jumbo with the multiverse they had gone through to get him back, should Peter have just let him suffocate under the ice in the middle of a winter day outing with Morgan?
His face was still so cold he didn't feel the tears falling off his lashes, so just to be safe, he preemptively dabbed his burning eyes with the blanket in regular intervals. At some point, Pepper had leaned over him, checking on him, and Peter had just pretended to be asleep as she took the empty cup from his hands.
Soon enough, pretend sleep turned into real sleep, leaving Peter uneasy and alone with his thoughts.
By the time he blinked his eyes open again, night had fallen on the world outside. The only light illuminating the room came from the warm flare of the fireplace. Peter's legs were stiff, but he suppressed the urge to stretch them as to not attract any attention, squinting up from behind the blanket.
Pepper was quietly sitting on the couch between him and Mr. Stark, her eyes unfocused, staring into the empty space somewhere just next to the fireplace. Morgan was lying right between Pepper and Tony. She had crawled underneath his blanket and curled up close to her dad. The man's breathing was still uneven, labored even in sleep. When he coughed again, Pepper reached over to him, had one hand run through his hair, then across his forehead. She hesitated for a moment, eyebrows pulled close together in a frown.
"Is he okay?" Peter tried to speak as low as he could, hoping he couldn't wake either father or daughter.
Pepper's eyes were still on her husband before she whispered her response. "Yeah, he... he's fine. Bit of a cough and..." She pursed her lips but shook her head. "It's..." She shook her head again. "It seems like he's running a bit of a fever, but I guess... I guess that's to be expected when you plunge into a frozen lake, right? He just... just needs some peace and quiet to recover."
Peter nodded, in what he was hoping to be a reassuring manner. "Yeah, right..."
Her hand was still cupping M. Stark's face and her thumb ran softly back and forth over his cheek before she tore herself away from him, eyes on Peter "You hungry, hm? I made some soup."
Peter wanted to shake his head at first but then recognized the offer as the chance to get out of there, maybe in time at least away to his room so he could mope in peace.
She carefully got up off the sofa, but her eyes widened as Peter followed her lead.
"No, no, no," she whispered, arms outstretched in a gesture to stop him. "You can just—"
"It's fine, I..." He avoided her eyes as he peeled the blankets off himself. "Just... want to stretch my legs a bit."
She was next to him with only a couple of quick steps, one hand on his forehead, the other sliding across the back of his hand underneath the sleeve of his hoodie, taking a hold of his wrist. Her eyes narrowed at him as the hand on his face wandered from his forehead to his cheek to the back of his neck.
"Hm." She took a step back, both her hands falling off him. "Okay, I guess you do seem like you've warmed up, hm?"
Peter had his eyes on the floor and only shrugged, then followed her out of the room into the kitchen. She pointed at one of the bar stools for him to sit while she went ahead and reheated the soup. There was mostly silence between them. Pepper was lost in her thoughts and Peter didn't mind that at all. Preferred it, really. He didn't feel like talking. Talking just brought up things he didn't want to say out loud, things he didn't even want to think about. He was happy enough to stuff his face with her soup once she put a bowl in front of him. They sat opposite each other and for every second of it, Peter was hoping she wouldn't ask him something, wouldn't try to like... He cringed. Thank him or something.
He shook his head. It had been Pepper after all, Rescue, who had pulled them out of the water. His bowl was almost empty by the time he realized that she really hadn't said anything, only sat there, eyes on the table between them. Maybe she was just tired... Maybe she...
Peter squinted at her from under his eyelashes but she seemed to not even register that he was there with her.
"Pepper?"
At first, she didn't move at all. Peter was already contemplating whether she had even heard him when she blinked once and then murmured a low "Hm?"
He was staring at her, his spoon halfway between the bowl and his mouth. "Are you... I mean..." Peter frowned at himself, not sure how to really do this. They didn't do heart-to-hearts. Were hardly ever alone together. Hadn't really been, in fact, not since Mr. Stark had been... had been gone. "Pepper, are you okay?"
She blinked a couple more times, then gave her head a subtle shake. "I'm sorry, honey, what did you say?"
Peter's frown deepened. "I asked if you're okay?"
Once again, she stayed silent.
"Pepper?" he asked a little louder now.
Her shoulders jerked almost as if she had flinched away from him but finally, her eyes found his. "You... you want more soup?"
Peter shook his head and let the spoon fall back into his bowl. "What's wrong?"
She blinked rapidly, the soft smile on her face was not up to her standards. "Nothing, nothing. It's..." She shook her head. "Everything's alright."
Peter's eyebrows were still knitted together tightly and he just kept staring at her. It's what Mr. Stark always did to him when he was— He bit his lower lip hard.
"It's nothing, really, it's..." She cleared her throat, thumb, index- and middle finger rubbing along the bridge of her nose. "It's just..." With a long breath, her eyes were back on the table. "It's the first time that I've... erm... worn the armor since, you know." She swallowed hard, eyes still low. "Since that day."
His eyes widened. "Oh." That hadn't even occurred to him.
"It's..." She cleared her throat again, then shook her head. "It's not that I had worn it a lot before that day, hardly ever really, only... only for the training that Tony deemed necessary, but it..." She shook herself, head bowed low.
"He's... he's fine though," Peter whispered. "He's fine now."
"Oh, honey..." She got off her own chair and walked around the table. "Come here..." Her arms pulled him in, held him close. "You did so good, Peter. We owe you so, so much. The way you kept him safe... brought him back and..." Peter wasn't even sure if they were still talking about the lake of about his trip into the multiverse as she tightened her arms around him. "We could never begin to repay you for that."
Peter tried his best to just hug her back and not think about the harsh words of his mentor, the anger in his eyes. Her arms just held him against her, her breathing heavy and Peter was sure that she was crying. He didn't mind her holding him though. At least that way she couldn't see his own tears.
"How about..." Pepper blew out a shaky breath, emotion still heavy in her voice. "I think you should probably call May. Let her know that you're okay."
Peter grimaced against Pepper's shoulder. That was the last thing he wanted to do. "It's fine. She... I mean, it's erm... it's done with now, you know, no reason to... to worry her."
Peter hadn't realized how heavy he was leaning against her but when she took a sudden step backward, he staggered a bit at the loss of contact. Pepper's eyes were still a little red, looking him up and down. "Are you suggesting that we should keep what happened on the lake a secret from your aunt?"
"I... erm..." He scratched the back of his neck. "I'm just saying that she would be... worried. If I told her she'd make this big deal out of it and I mean, maybe it's better to... to spare her the—"
"Peter."
He swallowed hard his eyes wide.
Pepper tilted her head to the side, her face going a little softer. "That's a horrible idea and you know it."
His head turned away from her, his annoyance was about to overtake his nerves. "I just don't need the lecture." He's already had that one.
She clasped both his hands and squeezed them tight. "She's just worried. It's... We're all still adjusting. It's been a lot to take. The... the past months."
The past years was what she had likely wanted to say, but there seemed to be an unwritten rule somehow between the grown-ups that that time was to be mentioned to him as little as possible, which in reality meant never.
"She's just going to team up with Mr. Stark and then they—" He groaned in frustration. "I already got the lecture, okay? I just..."
"Lecture?" He could hear the frown even in her voice. "What lecture?"
He pulled one hand away from her grip and rubbed it across his face to hide the fact that he really just wanted to try and force away the tears that were threatening to spill over once again.
"Pete?"
His eyes pressed shut, he sucked in a deep breath then tilted his head all the way back and blinked, eyes still anywhere but on her.
"He... he said that I shouldn't, you know... that he doesn't like it when I... I help him. like... like I like that and... and that I'm still out there and today he... he said, I shouldn't... he said I risked myself to help him and.... and that I shouldn't have." His mood was spiraling downwards fast. "I don't even know how he thinks this is supposed to work, like... does he really think that there's ever going to be a point where I would just like sit back and watch him die? It's ridiculous! And May... May like... loses her mind when I come home maybe 5 minutes late from patrol. She's worried all the time because she says the city isn't safe anymore and I just don't get it, that's what I do. I make the city a little safer but she just wants me to stop or something? Like... what good is that gonna do?"
Peter was almost panting by the time he was done and it dawned on him what he had just said to her. His pulse picked up, nerves pushing away his anger as he slowly shifted on the barstool, squinting at her from the side.
"Listen...erm... I just..." Not just nerves, embarrassment was pulsing through him as he wiped away another tear from his cheek. A sense of dread made his stomach turn. "I didn't mean—"
"Shh, you're okay." Her face was soft with understanding. "I'll talk to them, okay?"
"You'll..." His mouth fell open. "What do you mean, you'll talk to them?"
Her hand moved up to his shoulder as she stepped around his back and sat down on the stool next to him. First, she just looked at him, lip caught between her teeth. Then her head slanted to the side a bit as she blew out a deep breath. "I've... I've known Tony for about 25 years now. When he... when he became Iron Man I was..." She shook her head eyes to the side like she had a direct lense into the past. "I was terrified. He kept risking himself, so others were safe. So I was safe. Kept coming home with bruises and... and nightmares and for the longest time I just... I tried to pull him away from that because it seemed... it seemed inevitable that at some point his luck would run out and I would lose him." Her eyes were sparkling with tears. "And then it did and you... you brought him back to me, Peter."
He bit the inside of his cheeks hard, trying not to think of those days when everyone in his world had seemed to have given up on his mentor.
Pepper sniffed, then fought to put that smile back onto her lips. "It took me years to understand and... and accept that there was no taking Iron Man out of Tony. It just... it just takes some time and they... they've mourned you, for years They are just terrified." She squeezed his hand, an empathetic frown on her face. "Just give them a little time, okay?"
His eyes were on his hands, unwilling to look at her, but Pepper just sighed as she got up. One hand on his shoulder she pressed her phone into his hands, May's number already pulled up. "Call her. I'll go and check on Micheal Phelps and his little cheerleader."
Peter stared at the phone in his hands, May's name seemingly staring back at him. How could he tell her that he had jumped into a lake in sub-freezing temperatures, had dove underneath the layer of ice, only hanging on to the exit by his fingertips? He couldn't. He'd never hear the end of it.
With a deep breath he tapped on the number and the phone rang only twice till she picked up.
"Pepper?"
Peter clear his throat. "No, erm, it... it's me."
"Peter? Is everything okay?"
He blinked his eyes to the ceiling. "Yeah, we're fine. Everything's okay."
"Do you need something, honey? Do you need me to pick you up?"
For a second that thought actually didn't sound like such a bad idea, but then he shook his head to himself. May didn't even have a car, plus... no. It would be super suspicious plus... no, he wouldn't run. "Nothing like that. It's... erm... It's just that we had a bit of a... a mishap this afternoon and Pepper suggested that... that I just tell you, so you know."
"A mishap?"
"Yeah, it... it's honestly not such a big deal. We were out on the lake and Mr... Tony, he... he stood in a weird spot and broke through the ice but I just pulled him out and we've been warming up in front of the fire ever since."
"Oh, goodness..." She cleared her throat and it was like Peter could almost see her, sitting up straighter. "Are you two okay?"
"Oh yeah, no, I mean I'm... I'm just great." He grimaced at how high pitched and forced his voice sounded. "And Pepper... Pepper's been making lots of tea and soup and it's... it's all fine, really."
"Hm." It was like she could smell it on him even from all these miles away. "So, you're fine."
"Right. Yeah. All good."
"And how is Tony doing?"
Peter's hand shot up and scratched his head. "Yeah, just... bit of a cough and..." He cringed. Eyes pressed close, he tried to keep his tone as light as possible. "Pepper thinks he might... might be running a bit of a fever. He's sleeping. Bit of a cold, I guess."
The other line stayed silent for a moment. "That's a little fast for cold systems to—" Another moment of silence. "How long was he in the water for?"
"Erm..." Peter slid off the chair, starting to pace around the kitchen island. "I... I don't know, maybe... phew... it all like, happened so fast."
"You just pulled him right out? He didn't swallow any water? Did he go under?"
"He... well..." Peter had a hard time keeping his voice all conversational. "I mean he... he fell right into the water so—"
"How long has he been sleeping for?"
"I... erm..." He frowned, not just at her sober tone but just the multitude of questions she came up with. "I'm not—"
"How was his state of mind? Relaxed or a bit.. bit tenser?"
Peter closed his eyes in resignation. "I mean, he didn't seem to have enjoyed the experience of it all that much. Who would, I guess, right? So if he was a bit... bit irritated, I guess that—
"Let me just... I need to talk to Pepper."
His eyes widened. "She... erm... Pepper is... is somewhere probably checking on Mr. Stark, I—"
"Peter, listen to me. This is important. I need to talk to her right away."
He threw his head back, silently cursing, then reluctantly shuffled back into the living room. He could hear Mr. Stark coughing from the hallway.
"Is that Tony who's coughing?"
"Ye-yeah," Peter whispered.
"Good god."
He blinked, a little taken aback. That had almost sounded like... like honest concern in his aunt's tone.
Pepper was bent over Mr. Stark, trying to calm him. The man's face looked like he was in agony and right at that moment, it struck Peter that maybe... maybe things weren't all that okay like he had thought they were.
"Er... Pepper..." His eyes wandered down to Morgen, whose eyes were open and full of tears as she clung to her dad. "Pepper?"
"Shh... honey, just..." She blew out a shaky breath. "It'll be okay. Just try to stay calm, okay?" She reached behind herself for Peter. "Pete, it's... it's Morgan's bedtime, can you... Tony, honey, try... try to sit up a little, okay?"
"Peter?" If May's tone had surprised him before, the ring of seriousness to her voice now almost scared him. "I need to talk to her right now. Just put me on speaker, leave the phone and get Morgan to her room, okay?"
"I... erm..." He couldn't look away from how Pepper had pulled Mr. Stark into a sitting position, how he was bend over coughing so hard, there were hardly any breaks for him to draw breath.
"Peter, do it right now!"
"Ri-right, okay..." Shaky fingers pressed the speaker button before he put the phone down on the couch. "Morg... come on, let's... let's go upstairs, hm?"
She was crying in earnest now. "No... I don't.... don't wanna go... don't wanna go!"
It was like Peter was on autopilot. She weighed nothing to him and he just plucked her off the couch and carried her from the room, straining his ears to listen to his Aunt.
"Pepper, listen to me. I think Tony might have aspirated some water. It might have lead to inflammation in his lungs, you should—"
Peter closed the door to Morgan's room with a thump. He was holding her tightly pressed against his chest while she was kicking and crying.
"Shhh, Morgan, just... it's gonna be—" His voice failed. He couldn't. He couldn't find it in himself to tell her that. That it would be okay because, he didn't know, did he? What if... What if—
The door behind him flew open. There was no color on Pepper's face at all. She rubbed a hand across Morgan's back while she was still in Peter's arms.
"Morgan, Peter will look after you for a bit, okay?"
The girl was reaching for her mom, mumbling her name over and over again but something within Peter had him hold her tight even though his heart was racing.
"What's... what's happening?" He tried to keep his voice low, could only hope that Morgan was too far gone already to really listen.
"We're going to the hospital." It sounded like Pepper was about to cry and that only stoked Peter's rising panic. "Just... just keep her safe, okay?" She leaned closer and pressed a kiss onto Morgan's hair. "Shh, honey... Just like when Uncle Happy is here to watch you, hm?"
Just like that, she turned and closed the door behind her. And just like that Peter was alone with their crying girl in his arms.
It took him a good long while to calm Morgan down. It didn't help one bit that he was just as freaked out as she was. To be honest, if crying and wiggling and calling for his mom and dad had been an option, he might have been willing to embrace it. It wasn't though, not when he had a crying 4-year-old in his arms. Not when his mom and dad... well.
He sat with her, his legs stretched out on the floor next to her bed, and ran his hand through her hair like he had seen Pepper and Tony do. A cold shiver went down his back at how bad the man had looked. Again and again, his hand stroked the little girl's hair until she cried a little less, then not at all, her eyes tightly shut.
By the time Peter made it to his room, his only thought was to go for his phone which he only now realized was still in the pocket of his jacket. The jacket that he was pretty sure was still lying out there on the lake.
"FRI?" He looked up to the ceiling. "Call Pepper."
"Mrs. Stark is currently not available. I am instructed to connect you to May Parker instead."
"Right," he whispered as the call rang through his room.
She picked up after only seconds. "Peter?"
"What's happening?"
"Honey, listen, I've talked to Pepper. Tony has to stay at the hospital for a bit so they can treat him. Happy is on his way back from the Compound site to pick me up in Queen right now and we will be with you in just a couple of hours, okay?"
"But... I don't..." His voice was shaking. "I don't understand, what is happening?"
"There's... there's a bit of lake water in Tony's lungs and..." She cleared her throat. "And they have to get that taken care of. I don't know the details yet. We'll have to wait till—"
"But, but... does he... does he need surgery?"
"No, honey, he... I don't think so. He needs oxygen and—"
"But he hates the breathing tube!" His voice sounded hysterical even to his own ears.
"Peter, honey, listen. Just sit tight for a couple more hours, okay? We'll talk about everything when Happy and I get to the house. I love you, honey. Get some sleep, okay?"
His lips were tightly pressed together, eyes shut as he tried to control his emotions.
"Peter?"
"Yeah," he breathed.
"I'll be there really soon, okay?"
"O-okay."
After she hung up, he clapped a hand over his mouth, stifling his sobs. Staggering feet got him as far as his bed and he let himself fall back onto it.
She hadn't said the magic words. Not once. He'll be okay. They hadn't come over her lips at all.
He had FRIDAY turn off the lights, want to just disappear into the darkness, his face buried in his pillow when the door to his room was pushed open and carefully, quietly Morgan tiptoed over to him and then crawled into his bed. She snuggled close, her head on his chest while Peter was frozen, not sure what to do. First, he tried not to move at all, to breathe as normally as he could, careful not to show his nerves, his fear. But as her hand grabbed a handful of his hoodie, holding onto him, he gave up the pretense and turned enough to wrap his arm around her.
"You awake?" she whispered.
He sniffed out a dry laugh. "I am now."
"Did I wake you?"
He bit his lip, then tilted his head far enough that it came to rest against hers. "No, Morg."
"I can't sleep," she said next, her voice still a whisper.
"Me neither, Bambi."
For a moment, she was silent, then she pulled herself a little closer to him. "Daddy's going to be okay, right?"
He wanted to nod but the truth was that he didn't know. He should be. He had to be! Tony Stark, brought down by some icy water? No, no, that just... he wouldn't accept that. But then the memories from that evening popped up in front of his eyes. How hard it had been for him to breathe, his eyes heavy with fever.
"I.. erm... I talked to May and she... she said that the doctors are taking really good care of him."
"Hm." She didn't sound convinced by that at all. "I want to go and see him."
"I know," he whispered. "Me too."
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[author's comment: thank you guys for reading, the kudos, and comments! It's very appreciated :)
Part 3 will follow soon!]