When you finally calmed down that morning you didn't say anything to Dean and he didn't say anything to you. You went into the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the day thinking about what you should say to him. Maybe thank you. Maybe I'm sorry. You had no clue.
Once you were done you came back out and saw that Dean had left. You were a little disappointed but it didn't matter. The rest of the day was per-usual (or usual as of last week). You made breakfast, helped Lori, and then trained your replacement who seems like a nice enough girl. A little too preppy for your liking so you wished Lori good luck as you left -she was going to need it. As you left the house, you felt bad for leaving but you knew that you had to go. Your nightmare re-ignited that innate response in you and you felt the dark pit inside you swelling. You needed a case.
You saw the boys waiting for you in the car so you hustled over. As you got in Sam and Dean shared a glance before turning to look at you. "So where we off to now?" you ask trying to avoid what they were going to say.
"You sure you are ready for another case?" Dean asks looking at you.
"Yes Dean. I have had these for a long time. I'll live. So, any new cases?" Sam looked at you with a sad smile before turning around and Dean wouldn't take his eyes off of yours. You felt your breath hitch in your throat while you were completely mesmerized by the emotional depth he tried to keep so hidden, but you could see right through it. He was hurting, and you felt guilty for letting him see that side of you for the second time.
Dean started the car as you headed off towards the next hunt Sam had found. In the car you had called Bobby to let him know you three were still alive and kicking. You could tell from the tone of his voice he was proud of you for figuring the case out. You stopped for lunch and then drove the whole rest of the day. It was midnight before Dean decided that it was about time to stop for the night since you still had hours of driving ahead of you and he was tired. You would offer to drive but you also knew Dean was supper possessive of Baby and rightfully so. Sam had fallen asleep hours ago, but you and Dean didn't talk. Normally you would have but you didn't even know what to say so you sat in silence.
Once you got to the motel you went to check into a couple of rooms and came back to find a sleepy Sam waiting patiently by the car and a wide awake Dean talking to him.
"-so if I am not back tonight that's where I will be" he says before he notices you walking up to them. You see Sam nod and you give them both a curious stare.
"What are you two talking about?" you ask while handing Sam the key to their room.
"Nothing" Dean says rubbing the back of his neck, obviously hiding something, and Sam tiredly smiled without saying anything.
"I am beat. I am going to bed" Sam states walking away towards their room.
"Sure you are after sleeping 3 hours" you giggle as he turns around to yell "Shut up".
You turn your attention to Dean. You stare into his eyes and get lost. How does he have this affect on you? You have never been so enamored by someone. Ever. You realize that you had been staring for too long and a blush makes its way to your cheeks and you look down at your feet.
"Dean" you start. "About last night-"
"Y/n" He says at the same time. You look up to meet his gaze.
"Can I stay with you?" He says completely serious, his eyes wide and filled with concern.
"Umm..." you say caught off guard. "I gave Sam the key to the room with two beds" you say trying your best not to blush furiously.
"Thats fine I can take the couch" he says turning around and grabbing both his and your bag.
"Dean if this is about last night-"
"Y/n" he inturupts you again.
"You can blame it on whatever you want but I want to make sure you don't wake up alone" he looks at you and sighs heavily. "I'm going to go shower" he says while turning to walk away.
You were confused and honestly a little surprised that he cared so much about you. It made your heart do somersaults but you also just felt bad that he felt obligated to do this. He was too good of a guy. He was the best guy.
"Don't use up all the hot water" you yell after him, trying to start some banter to distract yourself from the feelings in your chest.
***
Dean quickly got ready for bed and laid on the couch getting comfy. He looked tired and you figured that he would be asleep by the time you got out of the shower. You got fully ready for bed before exiting the bathroom to find Dean still awake watching TV.
"Your still up?" you ask him pulling your knife from your bag and putting it under your pillow. He turns around to look at you and you watch as a smile spreads across his face making the butterflies in your stomach less ignorable.
"Yeah. They have some classics on tonight" he says turning back around to watch the television. You roll your eyes and walk over to sit in the chair next to the couch.
"Like what?"
"Up next is the original Leviathan movie from 1989" he says excitedly. Glancing between you and the TV. You smile watching him.
"Come here" he says motioning to the spot next to him on the couch. "You need to see it"
You giggle and sit next to him. You and Dean make fun of the old show, but in reality it was really good. Maybe one of your favorites. By the end you and Dean were laughing as you got settled into bed
"I realize you must have gone through hell" Dean says laughing while quoting the movie.
"Gone?! Bitch were still here!" you say finishing the quote causing both of you to laugh even harder. You both settle down and you get snuggled into the old mattress.
"Dean?" you ask. You hear him humm in response. "I can take the couch if you want"
"No y/n you always take the couch. It's my turn. You have hogged it for far to long"
You giggle but settle in more. It was a few minutes of silence before you spoke up again.
"Dean?" Again he hummed in response. "Thank you"
***
"y/n" the voice inside your brain said. "Do it Y/n. Kill him. Kill him now"
You looked between the bloody dagger in your hand and the scared Sam that was pinned against the wall in front of you. "Y/n don't. You need to fight it!" he yells. "Y/n!"
You feel your smirk grow into a smile as you glance behind you to Deans body on the motel floor. "Sammy" you say. "We are going to have so much fun"
***
You wake up with a start and try to control your breathing. You were clammy and felt wet tears on your face. You took multiple shaky breaths while analyzing that room you were in. There was no blood. No bodies. Nothing. Just another nightmare.
You get up knowing you will not be able to sleep tonight and decide to get some fresh air to calm your nerves. You grab your jacket, knife, and slip on your shoes and soon enough you are walking out the door. The cold air hits you and causes you to feel a little more awake but more broken somehow. You lean against the wall between your and Sams room closing your eyes to focus on your breathing. "Y/n?" you hear a sleepy Dean say from the doorway to your shared room.
"Y/n what's wrong?" he asks waking up more and walking towards you with his crazy bed head.
"Nothing. I'm fine Dean" you say, your voice a little shakey but you smile at him.
"Bullshit" he says. "Another nightmare?"
You look down to your shoes and nod your head waiting for him to say something.
"Want to talk about it?"
"Not right now" you say, deciding to glance back up.
Dean was only a couple of inches away from you. Staring into your eyes. The headlights of cars passing by cast shadows across his face, showing his alert and caring features.
"Lets go inside" he says extending his hand. You take it, feeling electricity buzz through you from the contact as he leads you back into your room.
Once inside he lets go of your hand and pulls the sheets down from the bed.
"What are you doing?" you ask watching him as you take off your shoes and jacket.
"Getting your bed ready for you" he says and you felt your heart soften at his caring nature.
"Dean you don't have to do this. I can take care of myself" you say.
"I know you can" he says turning to look at you. "But you don't have to keep everything bottled in anymore. You have me. " he says motioning for you to come to bed.
You walk over and lay down, letting Dean tuck you into bed. "See was that so bad?" he asks chuckling and you give him a small smile. He grabs your hand and looks into your eyes making your heart stop.
"Y/n I really care about you" he says. "Sam and me... we care"
"Thanks Dean" you say squeezing his hand. He leans down and kisses your forehead before attempting to stand up.
"Dean?" you say tugging him to make sure he didn't stand up yet.
"yeah?" he asks looking at you. You honestly didn't know what you were going to say or why you stopped him from getting up, but you knew you didn't want him to leave.
"Can you stay?" you ask quietly. You were not even sure he heard you. You felt your cheeks heat up and you scolded yourself for asking such as stupid question.
He stood up, which you took as he either didn't hear you or didn't want to stay but then pulled down the covers and got in bed next to you. Once comfortable you both laid there side by side in silence. You were unsure if you would actually be able to sleep due to the butterflies threatening to escape and the fear from having another nightmare so you just laid there waiting for the alarm to go off. After a while you finally decided to see if Dean was still awake since his breathing had not changed. "Dean?" you ask.
"Yes y/n?"
You again were unsure what to say, so you said what was on your mind. "I care about you. And Sam too. I care a lot. You two are the closest thing to family I have besides Bobby " you felt Dean turn over to face you so you turned to look at him too.
"We know you care" he says calmly. You start thinking about Bobby and Sam which then brings your nightmare back to the front of your mind. You felt your butterflies die and numbness start to take you so you decided to open up about it.
"In my dream... I watched Sam die." You say your voice breaking a little. Dean just stayed quiet watching you. "Dean there is something you need to know about me" you say sitting up. You weren't sure why you were going to talk about this, but it was time they knew and you didn't want to hide it anymore. Dean sat up too, resting against the headrest.
"Dean.. my dark side. She gets impatient and needy" you start. You didn't even look at him. "I have to keep her at bay. It's still me, but like... a different part of me. A part that I used to rely on. She is my 'inner demon' that Bobby refers to. I have to keep her at bay, which means sometimes letting her rise to the surface to get out energy which is why I am constantly hunting. I can't control her if I keep her pent up for so long, which has happened a couple of times and it always ends in blood." You say as tears sting your eyes. "In my dream... I felt myself kill Sam. I watched him die at my hand, and you..." you couldn't continue. You broke down into quiet sobs. Dean immediately pulled you into him, letting you cry into his shirt. Luckily this time you were able to pull yourself together after a minute and you pulled away, unable to look him in the eye.
"Dean I know that I am broken and dangerous which is not a good combination ever... so if you don't want me around anymore I understand" you say.
You feel Deans hand lift your face up and you let your eyes meet his.
"Y/n. I don't want you to go. Ever. I'm not letting you be alone again. You are doing your best. You would never hurt Sammy and I. It was just a dream" he says sympathetically. He wipes away a stray tear with his thumb and then moves to lay down in the bed and you do the same.
You felt better knowing they knew, but Dean also didn't really understand but the hope was that he would never understand. Suddenly Dean broke you out of your thoughts.
"Y/n?"
"Yes Dean?"
"Can I- Can I hold you?" he asked hesitantly.
You nod, a little surprised that this was actually happening, but realized that he might not be able to tell. You were about to answer but stopped when you felt his body pressed against yours effectively spooning you. You moved back to be closer to him and you felt his arm curl around you, pulling you ever closer.
Despite your heart beat racing, and your stomach doing backflips, you felt amazing. You knew he probably did this because he thought it would make you feel better, but you didn't care. You were in his arms. He was holding you close. And all your worries left. You let tiredness overtake you and you fell asleep quickly, letting dreams of your green eyed hunter take you away to an apple pie life.
*** Dean POV***
I felt her breathing slow, letting me know she was asleep before I kissed her cheek. I started settling back down to try and sleep but wasn't sure if I actually could considering my heart was about to leap out of my mouth and the fact that the most beautiful girl was in my arms. I pulled her closer. I couldn't have enough of her. Her body seemed like it had been perfectly made to mold into mine. She was secure in my arms. She was safe, and I wasn't going to let anything happen to her. She was becoming my everything whether she knew it or not. The more I learned about her, the more I loved her, and it scared me to death. But I couldn't help it. This was her. The woman of my dreams. A girl I could see myself get settled down with, maybe have a kid or two if given the chance. This was it. My perfect future in my arms and I wasn't ever going to let her go. Not for anything in the world.