Chapter 18.
Xavier had slept with me every day for the last two weeks since.
I would spend the whole day with him-most of the day-and as soon as he knew I was ready to leave, his face would drop and it killed me.
I told him he could sleep with me whenever he wanted, he seemed to sleep well next to me and I was happy; happy for him.
I knew he wasn't much of a sleeper anyway, but he was now getting at least 7 hours a night.
And who was I to complain? Of course I wanted him next to me. I felt safe with his arm wrapped around my waist at night. And I'm sure he did too.
It was a Friday and by the looks of Katie's face, I knew she had something planned.
"So I was thinking..." She trailed off, her twinkling eyes looking straight at me. I already wanted to decline.
"Kat-"
"Ah ah ah," she help up her hand to stop me from saying anything more. My words died out. "You're coming."
"Really?" I whined. "Where are we going?"
"To a club." Katie replied as her voice took on the duh tone. I sighed loudly, obviously showing my disinterest.
"But-"
"Ah." She held up her finger again. "You're coming because you haven't been out for a while and we used to go out all of the time. I miss my old bestfriend." She replied with a pout.
She was using the guilt trip on me, and it was starting to work.
But truth is, I would have rather stayed in with Xavier tonight. I knew he didn't like me going out, and I started to dislike it too.
Then again, I used to love it, so why should I change?
"You'll come?" Katie asked, batting her eye lashes and pouting her lips. I sighed again and rolled my eyes.
"Fine, fine!" I let out and she jumped out of her chair.
"You'll enjoy it!" She beamed before bounding away.
That's what I thought last time I went out, but last time I was drunk and somehow I found Xavier at my place. And also, he told me quite prominently how he didn't like me going.
I could go without telling him, but I knew I would tell him at some point. He couldn't be the boss of me however much he hated it.
I got out of my chair and made my way into the corridor, I then kept walking until I was outside of Xavier's room.
I knocked on the door firmly.
Xavier opened up without a second longer to spare. He left the door wide open for me to enter as he moved to the sofa in front of us.
"Hey." He greeted. Seeing him was always like the first time.
"Hey." I breathed as I looked to him sprawled out on his sofa. He patted the seat next to him and I sat down, desperately wanting to curl my body up against his.
"I'm going out tonight." I stated whilst I looked over at the blank television screen. I could feel Xavier's eyes snap to my face.
"Where?" He asked. I had his full undivided attention. I loved it, I always did, but right now I didn't know what I'd rather do.
He could be intimidating. His eyes, they never looked into mine, but the intensity of them didn't affect me any less. The way he acted, the way he was, was intimidating. But it didn't do anything to change the way felt about him.
"To a club-"
"Not happening." He cut me off sharply. What was it with everyone cutting me off mid talk today?
"What do you mean 'not happening?'" I replied back, my anger beginning to bubble even though I knew he was going to act this way anyway.
"What do you think I mean?" He replied back. "I'm not letting you go out to a club, especially after last time."
"You can't control me, you control freak, I want to go..." I was lying here, "and you can't stop me from doing that." I replied back firmly. Couldn't he see he couldn't control me like this?
"No, I can't let you go when I know you're not going to be safe." I stood up from the sofa as my anger bubbled to the surface.
"Don't tell me what I can and can't do!" I pointed down to him. He stood up after me.
"Well, then I'm coming with you." He stated back. I opened my mouth a few times but I had nothing to say.
"No, you won't do that, I want to go out with my friends, not with you!" I shrieked in panic.
"You can't tell me what I can or can't do." He replied repeating the words I had just used. I was redeemed speechless.
"But...but..." I stuttered out as I looked to him like a gasping fish. He continued to look down at me, before I knew it, I could feel the burning hunger in my body and through his.
It felt like electricity was going around us, charged, ready. I needed him and now.
"You make me crazy." He growled. "You're so sexy when you're mad." Before I could utter another word he had his lips bound to mine.
There was passion, heat and possessiveness in his kiss. I could feel it strongly against his body and his lips.
It ignited fire within.
We moaned in unison.
"You make my blood race." I breathed out without a thought. He did, however, do just that. He made my blood boil when he was being irrational, but race at the same time when he kissed me.
"Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing."
"I can't doubt your passion." I replied. He scoffed and my eyebrows rose at the noise.
"I don't do passion." He stated. I rolled my eyes.
"You show me your passionate side without even knowing it." I shook my head in disbelief at him.
"Passionate? I don't even know the meaning of the term. I just do what feels right." He shrugged as if it was no big deal. "And I hate arguing with you. You know that right? It makes me...vulnerable." I softened at the statement.
"So why do you feel the need to be irrational?" I asked. "We don't have to argue if you just let me do what I want."
"If I let you do what you want, I would be besides myself in possessiveness, fear, and everything in between. Being irrational, unreasonable and basically an idiot will make you mad, but it will make me feel better. Keeping you nailed to me is the only way I know how at the moment." He explained. "Call it animal instinct."
I didn't know what to say in reply. I understood in the only way I knew how. And I always kept an open mind with Xavier, Christ, you needed it.
"Well, if you're coming with me, you need to get dressed." I stated. Not that he didn't look nice in sweats and a black top. In fact, he was a sight to behold.
"Okay." He said begrudgingly before padding his way into his bedroom.
I laughed quietly at my self before going into my own room to get changed.
After I was changed into a black dress and my hair was straightened, I made my way over to Xavier's room.
He opened the door dressed in tight black jeans, a button down and his usual scruffy converse.
He was gorgeous.
"Hey again." I greeted. He looked to me with hunger.
"Hey yourself." He licked his dry lips shakily before coming out and shutting the door behind him.
He wiped his hands on his jeans before taking hold of my hand. He flexed his finger through mine, his hand shaking just a little bit.
I found his hands always shook when he was affected by me, and nothing quite made my heart beat as fast as that thought.
"I want to say you like amazing but to be honest I don't know if I'd be embarrassing myself." His other hand came up to scratch the nape of his neck. I giggled slightly.
"You couldn't embarrass yourself even if you tried." He was too graceful for that.
"Oh trust me, I could when it comes to you. Words aren't filtered." He explained. I giggled again. He still affected me either way.
We made our way down the corridor, and I had already text Katie to meet us near the entrance.
Xavier and I walked hand in hand, and it made me feel safe.
I told him I didn't him to come tonight; I lied. I wanted him everywhere I went.
The physical and emotional need I started to crave for him made me petrified, but alive too.
We finally made our way to Katie.
"Let's paint the town red!" Katie beamed before opening the doors and letting the cold air in.
We fell in stride with eachother. Katie kept talking as she usually did. Xavier had stayed quiet.
It was like his whole personality had changed. With me, he chatted away, he felt relaxed, stable. But now, seeing him in the presence of others, I felt him tense, cold and quiet.
I wanted my Xavier back, because this one hurt.
"You okay?" I whispered in his ear as Katie walked in front of us, still chattering away is if people were listening.
Xavier nodded, but he didn't say another word.
His hostility to other people was something he could work on, but right now, I kind of reveled in the fact that he was all mine, and tonight I knew I wouldn't have a trouble fighting all the girls away.
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