Rachel bit her lip and stuck her head around the door frame gingerly. She could see Emily laying on her stomach in the middle of the bed unmoving, but JJ was nowhere to be found. Rachel could hear the blonde woman's voice and deducted that she must be in the bathroom. Rachel remained where she was and listened closely, keeping her eyes glued to the brunette the entire time. Rachel hadn't let Emily out of her sight since she had arrived home the night before.
She had been terrified when Emily came in and showed her the cut on her back. There was a large white bandage covering it. Emily insisted that it didn't hurt, but as Rachel watched her closely the rest of the night she noticed her wincing slightly when she thought no one was looking. Rachel had been imagining all sorts of bad things that could happen. She was waiting for Emily to just start bleeding from her back the way her mother had bleed from her wrists. Rachel did not want Emily to take that bandage off. In fact, she was sure that they were going to need a much bigger one and had spent the rest of the night – while she was supposed to be asleep – making a bandage like thing out of some sheets. Her plan had been to sneak into their bedroom after they were asleep and wrap Emily's back tightly with it. But by the time Rachel had finished and tip toed down the hall, she could still hear voices from behind the door. She was cold, so she lay down outside the bedroom on the floor, and wrapped herself up in the sheet. That is where Emily and JJ found her the next morning when they woke up. Rachel had simply told them she was going to the bathroom and brought the sheet to keep herself warm and she fell asleep on the way back. Neither woman looked like they believed her, but Rachel refused to offer up any more information and ran downstairs to get breakfast.
Rachel decided that she was going to have to keep Emily alive. JJ was doing a pretty good job, but after seeing Emily she didn't seem as concerned as she had before. Rachel didn't understand why. One of her thoughts was that JJ just didn't care. That maybe she had fallen out of love with Emily and they were going to get a divorce like some of the kids in her class. That was not something Rachel liked one little bit. The other day at recess, a boy named Tommy told her that his parents were divorced. He had two dads which Rachel found pretty cool since neither of them looked scary to her.
"Why?" Rachel asked as she kicked herself forward on the swings. Tommy, right beside her did the same, attempting to get himself higher. He didn't like being beaten by a girl.
"They fell out of love. That's what they told me. But Dad says parents can't fall out of love with their kids. Its not possible. Which is good, 'cause I got real scared for a minute."
Rachel swung herself higher and higher and then flung herself into the air, expertly landing on her feet. She spent most days at recess on the swings and had become quite good. She frowned at Tommy, who was still trying to get enough momentum to jump. "Yeah, but Emily and JJ aren't my moms, they're my...well I live with them." Rachel had been struggling to find the proper word for them as of late. Now that she was involved with the other students more, they asked about her life more often. Rachel hated being unsure about anything, it made her feel stupid.
Tommy took a deep breath and jumped, he slammed into the ground with a thud and yelled out in anger. He was not very adept at jumping off swings. "Well, aren't they your parents though? I mean you live with them and they're the grown ups that take care of you...I think that's what a parent means."
"But I already had parents. I don't think you can have another set." Rachel said bitting her lip. She very much hoped that statement wasn't true.
"I think you could." Tommy said thoughtfully as Rachel helped him up. The two of them began playing together at recess a few days before and were becoming good friends. Tommy was scrawny and little like Rachel and the older boys never let him play kickball with them.
"Well, either way...Emily and JJ love each other a lot. They kiss all the time and they're always holding each other and stuff. They won't fall out of love." Rachel said firmly.
"They could. Grown ups do really stupid things sometimes. My dads are both sad all the time now. Its not fun. And they used to kiss and stuff all the time too!"
Rachel looked horrified.
Now Rachel had to worry about Emily bleeding and JJ not loving her. It was a lot for a seven year old to be carrying around. Rachel ducked away as she saw JJ coming out of the bathroom, but she stayed where she was, needing to be close to them.
A few minutes later Rachel heard a knock on the front door and scrambled up to answer it. "Someone's hear!" She yelled as she ran down the stairs. JJ walked down, close behind her.
"Rach, let me get it." JJ called out to stop the girl.
"Why can't I?" Rachel asked with a pout. She was not pleased with the blonde.
"Because I would rather you not, you're too little to answer the door."
"That's not fair." Rachel muttered.
"Sweetie, yes it is." JJ said trying to ruffle Rachel's hair. The little girl stepped away from JJ angrily and the blonde frowned in confusion but shook it off and opened the door. "Hey Derek." She said, greeting Morgan and Garcia. The two of them had called last night to see if they could take Rachel off of their hands to give the women some time alone. Garcia wanted to take Jack and Rachel to the zoo. JJ hadn't gotten a chance yet to tell Rachel.
"Hi guys!" Garcia said cheerfully as she wrapped Rachel up into a big hug.
"You ready Freckles?" Morgan asked with a grin as Rachel high fived him. Morgan and Reid didn't scare her anymore, she liked being friends with them.
"Ready for what?" Rachel asked looking up at Garcia.
"The zoo!" Garcia exclaimed excitedly. "We just have to pick up Jack on the way there."
"Cool!" Rachel yelled. She had never been to the zoo. But she wanted to see an elephant more than anything else in the world. "I'll go get Emily!" Rachel began to run up the stairs but was stopped by JJ.
"No, sweetie, Em's gonna stay here with me and take a nap. She needs her rest. Morgan and Garcia will bring you back before dinner. Please don't load her with sugar." JJ said as she stood up and glared at Garcia lovingly.
Rachel felt like she had been punched in the gut. They didn't want her. Emily was dying, JJ didn't love her and now they were sending Rachel away. She wanted to cry. "No thank you." Rachel whispered. "I'm tired too." She backed away from Garcia and stood defiantly in the middle of the hallway. All three adults looked on at her in confusion.
"Rachel, there will be elephants there!" JJ said with a smile. "You've been talking about elephants for weeks, don't you want to see them?"
"No thank you, I'll stay and help take care of Emily." Rachel said crossing her arms over her chest and keeping her gaze to the ground.
"Oh, Rach, I don't need you to do that, go have fun, Em's fine." JJ said, not seeing how worried Rachel was. JJ did notice a slight change in Rachel since last night, but she and Emily had talked with her for a good hour, explaining everything and making sure she understood that Emily was going to be fine. JJ just thought it was adorable how Rachel wanted to help.
Rachel looked back and forth between all the adults and grew more nervous with each moment. JJ wanted her to leave. JJ didn't want her here. Rachel mashed her lips together and bit down on her bottom lip to stop herself from crying. She wouldn't give JJ the satisfaction. "I'm gonna go say goodbye to Emily." Rachel whispered. Emily would want her to stay. Emily would make JJ let her stay. Even if they fell out of love, Emily would still want her. Tommy said his Dad always wanted to play with him now. Emily would want her.
"Okay, hurry back down." JJ told her with a smile.
Rachel ignored her and bolted up the stairs, the tears threatening to fall. She stopped right outside of the bedroom and took a deep breath, not allowing herself to cry. She still had Emily. Rachel pushed open the door and found the brunette now on her side, a book in her hand. She smiled as Rachel walked into the room. "Hey kiddo, you ready for the zoo?" She asked with a bright smile. Rachel's face fell. Emily wanted her to leave too. Rachel clenched her fist and nodded, desperately trying not to cry. "Have a great time okay? Take a picture of an elephant for me."
"Okay. Bye." Rachel whispered, then ran out of the room. The seven year old stalked downstairs, not looking at JJ and stepping away from her as she tried to hug her goodbye. Rachel ran outside and climbed into the back of Morgan's car, her booster seat already set up. She knew this would happen. She never should have let herself trust Emily and JJ. Everyone eventually got mad and didn't want her. Her dad was right.
JJ frowned and hugged Garcia as Morgan followed her outside with a wave. "Call me if she needs anything okay Pen? She's been a little...I dunno, I think seeing Em hurt has freaked her out a little."
"No problem pumpkin! That's why were giving her a day of fun!" Garcia said patting JJ's arms affectionately.
JJ smiled warmly. "I know, just...call me if she gets worried or scared or something."
"Will do! Enjoy the time with your woman." Garcia said, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively.
JJ laughed. "Garcia, she's got a huge cut on her back and stitches, unfortunately, that isn't going to be happening." Very, very unfortunately. JJ thought. She loved having Rachel, but the little girl had definitely made the two women have to be a little creative with their alone time.
"Well, then get creative and when Em is back up to full health, I'll take the monkey for a night or something." Garcia smiled.
"I will definitely take you up on that." JJ said as she waved to Morgan and Rachel in the car. The blonde frowned as Rachel crossed her arms and turned away, an angry look on her face. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea... "Pen..." She began.
"Stop it Jayje, she will be fine. See you later." Garcia insisted.
"Bye." JJ said quietly, getting an ominous feeling as she closed the door.
Emily dropped her book and looked up at her smiling – scantily clad – wife standing in the doorway. "Oh that's not fair." She groaned. JJ simply smirked. "You're mean." Emily said throwing a pillow at the blonde. "Very, very, mean."
"Just because you're slightly incapacitated doesn't mean we can't work around it." JJ murmured in a husky voice as she inched over to Emily.
"I hate you." Emily groaned as JJ climbed slowly onto the bed.
"Oh that's not true." JJ whispered as she hovered over Emily and began to kiss her way up to the brunette's mouth.
"No, its definitely not. Especially when you do that." Emily said with a grin.
Rachel furiously wiped at her eyes trying to will the tears from falling. Jack noticed and slipped his hand into Rachel's silently. Garcia and Morgan were walking ahead of them, paying for the tickets. Rachel tried to pull her hand away, not wanting to trust anyone. Jack gripped tighter and refused to let her walk away. Rachel glared at him but switched to a neutral look as Garcia and Morgan walked over to them.
"We get our hands stamped!" Garcia exclaimed happily sticking her hand out to show the children. "Yellow! Well, no actually I think kids get blue...but pretty huh?"
"We want yellow." Jack stated firmly, his grip tight on Rachel's hand. Rachel nodded, trying not to cry.
"Well, Jackie Boy, I think kids have to get blue, but later I can get you yellow stamps if you want." Garcia said with a smile.
"Fine." Jack grumbled as she pulled Rachel over with him and stuck his hand out for the ticket seller. "We'll get blue." Jack glared at the teenager behind the counter. "But we are not happy about it." He stated firmly. The teenager looked taken aback but Rachel hid a small smile.
"What's with them?" Morgan whispered to Garcia as they followed the children into the zoo.
"Who knows, but its damn adorable." Garcia said back excitedly. The two adults followed the children into the center of the zoo, deciding to simply walk around a little before finding specific animals. Jack had yet to let go of Rachel's hand, but he didn't prod her for information. Somehow, he knew that she wouldn't tell him anything with Morgan and Garcia around listening. They wandered around somewhat aimlessly, Jack had been to the zoo before and was eager to show Rachel his favorites. The monkeys he thought would definitely cheer her up, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. Something that Morgan noted with a concerned frown.
"May we get some food please Miss Garcia?" Rachel asked quietly. Garcia shared a look with Morgan and they both noted that Rachel was slipping back into her old shy ways. Garcia thought about texting JJ, but decided against it for now. She didn't want the blonde to worry, JJ stressed over Rachel so much that she never seemed to relax. Garcia wanted her two best friends to have an afternoon without stress or worry.
"Sure we can sweetie, are you guys hungry now? Or do you want to see a few more animals first?" She asked.
Rachel squeezed Jack's hand. "Now please." He answered with a smile.
"Alrighty, onward and upward!" Garcia yelled and headed off for the food court, Morgan, Jack and Rachel right behind her.
"I've got a plan." Jack whispered.
"What are you talking about?" Rachel asked with a glare. "Why won't you let go of my hand?" The freckled girl tried to pry it away for the third time, to no avail.
"Because you're sad about something, my mom told me holding hands is how you let people know you are their friend. We're friends, and you're sad, so I'm holding your hand. Stop trying to pull it away!" Jack scolded her in a fierce whisper.
"You're annoying." Rachel whispered back angrily.
"So are you. But we're still friends."
"Okay kiddies! What do we want to eat?" Garcia yelled out happily, oblivious to the whispered conversation. The four of them purchased their food – various amounts of hamburgers, hot dogs, funnel cakes and blue slushies – and headed to an empty table. They ate rather quietly, Rachel refusing to engage in any sort of conversation other than a shrug here or there, much to Garcia and Morgan's disappointment. The pair decided not to pry just yet. Or rather, Morgan warned Garcia to back off and made sure the excitable blonde did so. They finished eating in about half an hour and decided to head to the bathrooms before going to look for the bigger animals. Garcia was very reluctant to let Rachel go anywhere near a bathroom by herself, considering what had happened the last time. So begrudgingly, Rachel let Garcia take her. "You feeling okay Rach?" Garcia said, bumping her hip into the little girl lightly. Rachel shrugged. "Honey, if you're worried about Em, you really don't need to be; she's going to be fine. God knows she's had worse!" Garcia yelled out without thinking. Seeing the horror that crept up onto Rachel's face Garcia squealed and covered her mouth. "I shouldn't have said that. Don't tell your moms I said that. They are both perfectly healthily."
"They're not my moms." Rachel said fiercely as she slammed herself into one of the bathroom stalls.
Emily lay on her side, careful not to let her back press against the bed, her very naked, very sweaty body wrapped in JJ's. Despite warnings from her doctors, Emily had a very creative wife. "Well that was..."
"Awesome." JJ finished for her with a smirk and a kiss.
"Yeah. Definitely." Emily smiled back at the blonde. "I almost forgot I was hurt."
"How does your back feel?" JJ asked with a slight frown.
"Fine." Emily said quickly. Too quickly. JJ raised her eyebrows at Emily. "Its a little sore, but I'm fine." The brunette stressed. "The more you fret about it, the more Rachel will. Its not like I've never been hurt before. I mean I did die."
"Don't remind me." JJ said curtly. Emily frowned and pulled JJ closer. The blonde hated talking about Emily's injuries, she hadn't known that Emily had actually coded in the ambulance until recently and it bothered her.
"Sorry." The two women were quiet for a few moments, relaxing in each other's company. Despite enjoying their time alone, both of them were realizing that they both missed a certain energetic little girl.
"Did she seem...I dunno upset to you?" JJ asked quietly.
"A little...I'm worried about her, she was lying this morning about sleeping on the floor."
"She seemed mad at me when she left, but I can't figure out why." JJ tapped her fingers against Emily's arm in contemplation. "I'm gonna call Pen." She said a minute later as she rolled over and reached for her phone.
"No, Jen..." Emily tried to reach out and grab her but winced at the pain in her back. "Shit." She groaned. "Jen, she'll call if something's wrong, you can't worry about her all the time."
"I'm pretty sure that's what parenting is." JJ said seriously.
Emily laughed loudly and groaned again at the pain it brought. "Yeah, but we can't drive ourselves crazy. She'll be back in a few hours and if something's wrong we will figure it out."
JJ huffed and dropped her phone. "Fine." She growled. "Then you are going to have to keep me occupied." She said as she began nipping at Emily's neck.
Emily moaned. "I would love to Jen, but my back really does hurt. The doctor wasn't exactly lying."
"Fuck." JJ said in frustration as she rolled off of her wife. "Fine, then you are taking the pills." She said forcefully as she got out of the bed. Emily reached her hands out in protest.
"No, I don't need them, come back." She pleaded childishly.
"Too late!" JJ yelled happily as she walked out of the room stark naked.
Rachel followed behind Morgan and Garcia, her hand in Jack's, a pout on her face as they made their way to the tigers.
"What's wrong?" Jack whispered when they were slightly out of earshot of the adults.
"None of your business." Rachel whispered back.
"It is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"What are you two fighting about?" Morgan called back to them. "We've got tigers to see! Come on!"
Rachel leaned over and while Jack was distracted and yanked her hand away. "I don't want to talk about it." She spat out.
"Well than stop being mean and angry!" Jack whispered back. Rachel frowned at him and stalked ahead to stand next to Morgan, he was the least likely to bother her. Rachel and Jack couldn't see, so Garcia stood watch while Jack climbed up to get a better view, and Morgan hoisted Rachel up onto his shoulders. Rachel was startled at first and almost kicked to be let down, but found that she liked the view from up there. Feeling happy for the first time since the night before, Rachel giggled as she caught sight of the elephants off in the distance.
"MORGAN!" She yelled as she pointed. "THE ELEPHANTS! Can we go see them?"
"Sure Freckles, hang on." Morgan said with a smile. He told Garcia where they were going, than beamed up at Rachel. "Hold on tight." He said and he took off running. Rachel yelled with delight from Morgan's shoulders as the air whipped into her face.
"They're awesome." She said in awe.
Morgan looked up at her and caught something in her eye. For reasons he wasn't sure of, seeing the elephants meant something very important to Rachel. He had easily caught on to the fact that Rachel was upset, but he knew that when she wanted to discuss it, she would. For now, Morgan was content with showing her some elephants and watching her smile.