Chapter Fourteen - Rules of acquisition
When she felt more stable, who knew how long later, she could hear the weird droning sound in her head turn into voices.
"Do you want me to.." one said and was interrupted by the second.
"..Nope."
"So you just want to wait..."
"It's been twenty minutes, Cameron, we can wait for a few more," one said dismissively.
"But you don't.."
"Shh,"
"House.."
"Shhhh!"
She knew the second voice. She felt her forehead furrow and slowly her eyes fluttered open. The room moved in and out of focus until she realised that House was sitting in a chair at the side of her bed. So close that she could reach out and touch him without stretching if she had the mind to. She frowned again, he was sideways, his chin resting on the handle of his cane as he watched her intently. It was then she realised that he wasn't sideways, that She now lay on her side on her bed with her head resting against her arm in a sort of pseudo recovery position. An oxygen mask held in place by elastic across the back of her head. The room had a funny sort of rainbow like glow around the edges.
She lifted her head from her arm and glanced at the other speaker, Doctor Cameron gave her a small reassuring smile. The rest of the room appeared empty. How had she gotten here...Her brain tried to match up the sudden gap in her memory. Without thinking she put a hand up to the mask.
"Ah ah ah," House said and reaching out took her wrist gently, returning the hand to the bed top. "Careful now... just lie still and take some deep breaths. You're going to feel a bit groggy." The girl frowned but did as he said. He seems satisfied. "Good. That's good," he said in a reassuring tone. "Now can you tell me where you are?"
The question confused her apparently and she looked around again then put her head back down. She cleared her throat to speak. "Arkham?" She asked,
Cameron looked concerned and opened her mouth but House was smiling.
"You wish Kiddo. Ain't no batman going to swoop in and rescue you here.." he said, amusement clear in his tone.
Cameron seemed to relax as Arin gingerly lifted her head again. "What..." she began trying to push herself up. Strangely House Stood and helped her.
"You went into what we here doctor folk call respiratory distress," he said, helping her to sit up properly. "How do you feel?" Then as if a thought struck him he added, "describe how you are currently."
Arin took a few experimental breaths and swallowed once or twice. "My throat feels dry...my chest is tight but not as tight. I'm a little dizzy." Her brows knitted, "I have a rash?" She asked him.
"Pretty much,"he said, as Cameron handed the girl some water. She pulled the mask off to drink. "Your Diagnosis is inconclusive," House replied as he studied both her expression and physiology. "I want to admit you. We need to do a head CT and probably a lumbar puncture to rule out some other things." As she handed the water back to Cameron he held the mask back up to her. "How's your head?"
Arin seemed confused again and coughed into the mask and then tried to pull it down against his hand. "I want to go home." She said her jaw clenched as her eyes prickled. It was all too much.
Geez, this kid was like a record that had a divot on its surface that the stylus could not cross no matter how many times it ran the groove. "No, home is for people that are well. People who don't have respiratory distress, fevers of unknown origin and rashes. No dice, Kiddo, I'm sorry, you're staying put and getting whatever tests and treatments we deem necessary, until such time as you're well. And no, you are not the one who'll be making that decision. No matter how fine you think you are."
The rise of panic stopped and she laughed lightly. "Don't you think you're slightly biased about that particular point?" Her eyebrows knitted again. "I feel drowsy..." the room swam again. House's hand steadied her.
"Easy," he said, "lie back." He was watching her closely as though he expected her reactions. She struggled slightly but didn't have much fight to pull back from him. He guided her back against the pillows and took hold of her wrist; looking at the watch on his left arm.
She watched him, feeling a small surge of panic again that didn't break the surface. "You Sarah Connor'ed me, didn't you." She asked accusingly. Her thoughts felt sluggish.
Cameron stood watching the exchange between the two in grim silence her pen poised over a clipboard waiting for House's orders.
House released her and turned to the female doctor. "Oh, aren't drugs fun. Cameron, do a head CT. If it comes back clean, do an LP. I want all the bloodwork redone... again. I want to find out what's playing chicken with us and what coup it's running off to hide in." He then turned back to the kid. "Yeah, I Sarah Connor'ed you, but with good reason. Now, I need to do some more tests to figure out what's wrong with you. Just say yes now and we can run with verbal consent."
Arin frowned at him and pulled the oxygen mask off. "You promised no Sarah Connor." She said. Her slow brain tried to rationalise this in a way she could deal with. She struggled to stay focused. "I don't think I like Ativan..."
"Oh, that was last night. This is this morning, you didn't specify that it was supposed to be an all the time promise," he said, but not unkindly, as though he didn't like the fact he had done it to her. "Now, do the smart thing and let me figure out what's wrong with you before it decides to terminate you."
There was a silent stand off between the two. Cameron watched in interest. This was new ground for her. House wasn't a meet the patients sort of guy and when he did, in occasions such as this when a patient was difficult he usually brow beat them into his way of thinking. Yet he wasn't here.
Arin looked at him calculatingly. "Question..." she said.
He sighed, "this isn't Arkham but it's not Baltimore either, Kiddo. There is no you get to ask things and maybe I'll change my mind, it's not a Quid pro quo set up," he said but rolled his hand in the air for her to continue.
She swallowed and frowning tired to articulate the muggy thoughts in her brain. "Every test you do gives you an answer right? To a question in your head. You get all of the answers, even the ones that seemingly don't fit and try and put them together and make a picture. That's when you know what the puzzle is...but not till that point...That's how it works right? Your head?
Cameron stared her mouth slightly agape; she seemed genuinely interested in House's response and didn't move while both women waited.
House cocked his head as he listened to the kids description of how she thought his mind worked. It was quite impressive for someone her age to have even an inkling into such matters. She was turning into one interesting gal. Still, he had no intention of revealing his secrets to her, or to anyone for that matter. The magic circle could get quite prickly over such matters. "Sorry, Kiddo, a good magician never reveals his secrets... at least not when the audience is still hungry for more."
Arin took a breath for strength and her mind made up played her gamble. "Ok...let's try it this way, you want your answers then fine you can have your tests but..." she held up a singular finger. Her hand was shaking. " ...for every answer you get, by which I also mean for every test you get, I get one too.You wanna play Lecter to my Starling so be it...maybe it should be a quid pro quo set up, House. So that's what I'm offering. I keep some control and a distraction, you get what you want. Take it or leave it."
Ok, interesting,House thought as he surveyed her. The door having been opened, whether she had meant it or not, he decided to stride through it before it slammed shut, "done." While he admired her ballsiness, she had practically just consented to any and all tests he could think of, so long as he answered her questions. How often did he get blanket consent for his hair brained ideas? While she had shown glimmers of intellect, he doubted she had the ability to ask him anything too probing. Besides, even if she did, like test results he could always lie.
She blinked at the quickness of his decision and considered him. This was a stupid play but it was the only way her mind could think of to try and claw back some level of control. In one of the books she had read about phobias and fear it had told her that to truly conquer a fear one had to first understand it and then accept it. She hadn't ever been able to do that till now. And now there he sat for all intents and purposes the personification of her fear, sans the obligatory white lab coat. She sat forward as if to get up.
"Hang on...before you whip out your celebration dance for the 'You consent, I'll consent thing' understand that I mean for the tests you just mentioned that's it. If you want any others you'll need to barter for them, and while I give my word verbally.... I want yours in writing...right now." She said and then closed her eyes as a dizzy wave made her lean to the right slightly and put out a hand to brace herself.
Well, that was a bit of a let down, House thought. Inside his head the confetti cannons had just been wheeled back into their shed. "You can't add clauses onto an agreement you proposed after the other party has agreed," he stated firmly, hoping to salvage his blank cheque. "Rule of acquisition number 16, a deal is a deal."
"Given the spoken or verbal..." again a wave of dizziness and she stopped closing her eyes against it for the second time, "...nature of this it would have been prudent for both parties to fully understand the clauses in play before agreement was rendered." She smiled. "Rule of acquisition numbers 19 and 69 Satisfaction is not guaranteed. And Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races... In short you should have waited till I was finished."
House smirked, this really was like a Ferengi negotiation. "Just remember rule number 8. Small print leads to large risk."
Arin laughed. She felt way too relaxed now...dumb drug. The laugh turned into a cough and again the dizziness. "Rule 76..." she said, "every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." She put her head back into the pillow suddenly aware she was still sitting in her Jeans and bra. Her cheeks flushed and she lifted one arm to cover the bra and the other her torso. "I think I lost my shirt..." she muttered with a slightly confused look.
House considered her position for a moment before stating, "rule 35, peace is good for business." Granted that idea was based on the assumption that the fragile peace they were brokering lasted. Then again, rule 34 stated war is good for business. Perhaps it all came down to how he managed either situation. For he was under no illusions, he was never going to reach the end of this diagnosis without causing Kiddo to go nuclear again.
Cameron picked up the gown from its position on the chair and pushing by House helped her into it, casting a glare back at the Male Doctor as if he should have dealt with this sooner. She stepped back and looked down at Arin. "Do you want some help to take the jeans off?" She asked.
Arin shook her head, her eyes now closed. "I'm dizzy..." she said in the sort of spaced out way someone used when mildly sedated.
House turned his attention to Cameron, "go round up the other duckies and take her for a head CT. Then do the LP and bring the results of both to my office." He thought for a moment, recalling the poor show that had been their last differential, "and make sure you each bring one good idea that does not involve stress induced fever caused by yours truly."
Arin's eyes snapped open and clumsily she sat up again. "No." She said loudly, firmly and swallowed hard as if a wave of nausea had overcome her. Her eyes felt heavy and it was an effort to remain sitting up as the room spun.
House shifted his gaze from doctor to patient, well that must have been the shortest ceasefire in history. His expression hardened into one Cameron recognised. Looks like the firebending was back on he thought. "You don't get to say no. We just made a deal."
Arin looked at him, she took a shakey breath and closed her eyes as the motion again made her dizzy, "No, I gave you...verbal consent. Not her. You." She said
"Yes... and she's my underling, my lackie, an extension of me. You give me consent, as the attending and I send her and my other dogsbodies to go and do the grunt work." He gave her a crooked smile, "welcome to the dog eat dog world of capitalist medicine."
Again, Arin shook her head and swayed slightly in her seated position. "I don't care. You, yourself or no deal and since you haven't got any paperwork to prove I consented to anything..." she trailed off either because she wanted to leave the threat hanging or because of her current state, it was unclear. Cameron reached a hand up to steady her and she shrank back from it slightly, causing the young doctor to drop her hand and look at House with a mix of confusion and concern.
House rolled his eyes, "come on, they're effectively part of me." He scratched the back of his head as he searched for a suitable metaphor. "Think of me as a hydra. They're just some of my many heads. When they get cut off, I just grow some more."
The corners of Arin's mouth twitched. Her eyes still closed. "In that vein, my cronies are part of me too. Why don't you CT Zen and do the other test on Robyn and let me know how that works out."
Cameron smiled and bit her lower lip as if to stop herself laughing out loud, she looked at House with an expression that clearly indicated she was waiting to see what he would do.
House weighed up his options. Go to the clinic and deal with today's collection of feigned heatstroke morons, or for once actually deal with his own patient. He sighed internally. Kiddo at least had some interesting quirks about her. "Fine," he growled, trying to make it sound like he was making a significant concession. He turned to Cameron, "fetch me a gurney and some heavies so I can take Kiddo down to radiology."
Arin opened her eyes. "I can walk..." she insisted.
Cameron raised her eyebrows in a way that questioned if he was serious, however she did exit the room leaving them alone for a few minutes.
"Right, like Icaris could fly. Not a chance, Kiddo. You're getting a first class seat on one of our gurneys as I ain't picking you up when you keel over. Non-negotiable," he emphasised. If she was going to draw hard lines, he sure as hell would too.
Arin sighed. "Does it have to be a gurney?" She asked and visibly flinched when Cameron, alongside the Male Nurse from earlier, pushed back the door to its full extent and entered the room wheeling a padded stretcher, the noise of the wheels trundling against the floor seemed to make her pale further.
"If you'd rather, I can make a call to the psych ward and see if they have one of those upright ones? Then you can travel like a real Arkham inmate." After he said it, House pondered whether the hospital actually had one of those gurneys. Wouldn't that be a fun way to transport his patients about.
Arin shook her head as if this was worse and watched Cameron and the Nurse put the gurney at the side of her bed leaving a minimal gap between the two padded surfaces, and put the breaks on the wheels. The nurse turned to smile at her.
"Ok honey, you want some help to scoot over here?" He asked then frowned at her odd attire. Half hospital gown half huge jeans and converse. He raised his eyebrows at House.
House glanced down at the girl's denim clad legs, as though only just noticing she was wearing jeans. "Better lose the sk8er boi duds, Kiddo. We don't have patients clad in hospital gowns just because we lack fashion sense."
Looking at him for a few seconds Arin too glanced at her jeans...well Zen's jeans and then with a sigh leaned forward and pulled her converse off her feet. Making sure her gown covered her body properly she then undid the belt buckle and wrestled her way out of the jeans where she sat, the ordeal took about a minute and left her feeling weak and shaken. She didn't remove the huge socks she wore however, the heels half way up her ankle.
Watching the girl struggle out of the jeans confirmed to House that enforcing the gurney had been the right call. She did not have the energy to walk. While he could have sent for a wheelchair, he also had an ulterior motive. Something had clearly happened to this kid at some point in her life to cause the iatrophobia. At some point she must have suffered some sort of trauma related to doctors or a hospital to cause it. Unfortunately, it was clear that she herself did not know. So the option to barter for it was non-existent. That left him with only one option. Expose her to as many different situations that occurred in a hospital or in the company of a doctor to see if anything triggered a response. With any luck, he would be able to narrow it down... or cause the kid to relive the memory. Then he could barter for it.
With the nurses help she slid herself over onto the gurney and seemed to collapse back into the less welcome pillow, staring at the ceiling as if the whole thing had exhausted her. She could feel the panic at the edges of her mind but each time it surged it was dampened. Like a wave crashing against an invisible barrier. The drugs effect she assumed.
"Her O2 stats are still a bit low." Cameron said over her shoulder to House as she moved some of the reconnected wires off for easier transport.
"Then bring the oxygen tank," House said in a tone that stated it should have been obvious.
Arin looked at him. "I don't want it..." she said weakly.
"Unfortunately, oxygen is another one of those non-negotiable things. If you don't have any, you might as well be a Ferengi with no latinum."
As with an apologetic look Cameron held out a nasal cannula for her. She let the female doctor slide it over her head and behind her ears and in place. The girl then sighed and lay back again. "I'm not going to get to go home today am I?" She asked no one in particular as the nurse raised the sides of the gurney, causing another flinch, and indicated to House they were ready to go.
"Sorry, Kiddo, but you're stuck here until I figure this thing out. Maybe if you're good I'll get you some earplugs." House then looked at the nurse. "Engage," he said as he pointed his finger in the direction of the door.
The nurse shook his head but gave the gurney a shove forward. Arin's hands flew up from the blanket now covering her and gripped the sides of the wheeling monstrosity tight enough for her knuckles to go white. She closed her eyes and tried to get the sensation of moving while laying flat to feel normal. Her head turned and opening her eyes she sought him out, the way a worrying mother looks for her child in a playground when she's lost sight of them. The drug seemed to be keeping the worst of it at bay, however the panic was evident in her eyes.
Cameron glanced between the two, teenager and grumpy man and frowned slightly as if the interactions puzzled her. She made a note to ask him about it later as they made their way to radiology.
House followed the procession, leaning heavily on his cane. His eyes fixated with the kid, looking for any hint of a reaction to the situation. However, bar her white knuckles gripping the rails, she gave him nothing. Meaning he could probably take white-water gurney ride off of his list of possible traumas. It looked like he would just have to try something else. In that vein, it was a good thing they were heading to radiology. Those confined scanners had set more than their fair share of people off. He would just have to wait and see if they did the same thing to Kiddo.