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First Person POV -
I feel myself slowly drift from sleep. I flutter my eyes open slowly. Then I suddenly realize...
I was resting my head on George.
I decide instead of freaking out, I should just get up slowly so that way he won't wake up. So, I slowly raise my head off his chest and move away. I make my way to the opposite side of the bed and get up.
Now it was time to panic.
My mind was just filled with me screaming 'HOW THE FUCK DID I EVEN GET THERE!?!' and 'WHAT IF HE KNOWS?!'
I shake all the thoughts out of my head. 'No no Y/N get it together! ' not even that big of a deal- And he was asleep! Nothing to worry about...'
I decide to walk outside and get everyone food. I stretch and let out a yawn as I make my way outside.
George's POV -
I hear the door close and I finally breathe out.
'She slept with her head on my chest...'
I feel my face warm up. What was happening to me??
I try to just lay down and sleep again. "Maybe it's just a weird dream. Maybe if I sleep, it will all go away." I whisper to myself.
...
'Oh, who am I kidding. This isn't a dream.' I feel my cheeks burn even more.
God this is so embarrassing-
First Person POV -
I found myself venturing out further than I had planned. I had decided to avoid sharing beds again, I would search for sheep and collect wool to craft a bed. I blushed in embarrassment as I replayed this morning in my head. 'It was so cliche.' I thought to myself
I killed a sheep, watching it fall and curl up in pain. Then the animal stopped moving and poofed away. I collected the animal's remains and cringed. I was always quite intrigued by how things worked in this world. How when things died, they just poofed. It was so...odd? It's like once they die there is no evidence of them dying. Nothing left behind to even show they existed. I shivered and decided to shake away the depressing thoughts.
I then checked my bag to make sure I had gathered enough food and wool. Once I had counted my materials, I closed the bag up and began making my way on back to our small home.
As I walked, I found myself still thinking of everything that had occurred in the past 24 hours. Today everything had really hit me. I only wish Tommy and Tubbo stay safe. I dearly hope soon we could cross paths once more. I want to fix what was broken.
Still his words lingered. I replayed what he said in my head over and over. I couldn't shake it.
"You said you 'didn't want to leave us' but when you have the choice to, you hesitate."
Had I really treated them like shit? Had I made it seem as if I didn't care about them...?
I feel tears prick the corners of my eyes, threatening to spill over any second. I take deep breaths in attempt to rid myself of the lingering sadness. 'Stay calm Y/N.' my mind tells me.
I loved them so deeply. They were like my brothers. And now they are gone, and they hate me. And it is all my fucking fault.
'Stop thinking these thoughts... think positive instead'
I ruined everything.
Now the tears begin to flow. My internal struggle to keep the tears at bay; the fight to keep my composure had ultimately failed. I silently sob as I recall all the good times I had had with my best friends.
. . .
"Try and keep up losers!" I laugh out. Our hideaway in the forest was nearby, we were racing each other there.
I hear Tommy spew some intelligible insult, which cause me to laugh again.
"What was that?! Sorry I'm winning too loud!"
"Y/N I'M CATCHING UP!" I hear Tubbo yell. He was closing the distance I had made.
Unfortunately I was too focused on gaining more distance and watching Tubbo, that I wasn't able to see the tree I was running towards.
"Y/N LOOK OUT!!" Tubbo tries to warn, but it was too late.
My body slams into the tree, knocking my body back onto the floor. Throbbing pain split through my body on impact. Tubbo runs up to me and kneels down.
"A-Are you alright?" Tubbo stutters out his question. Tommy ran up to the group, breathing heavily.
I stayed silent, my body was still processing what what happening.
"Uh...Y/N??" Tubbo stares at me confused.
Then I slowly begin to laugh, which turns into a laughing fit. The Brits turned to each other in confusion.
"Oh great. The woman has gone insane!" Tommy says with a roll of his eyes.
"I'm fine- don't worry! HAHA!" I struggle to get out.
Shortly after Tubbo and Tommy join in on the laughter. Tommy shakes his head at me.
"Dumbass."
"Man I have to start running more. So next time we race I can beat you.
I grin.
"Who said the race is over?
"Wha-" Tubbo begins. But I was already up and running away.
"NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN NERDS!"
"Y/N GET BACK HERE!" They both yell simultaneously.
. . .
I let out a dry laugh as the tears stream down my cheeks. My heart ached desperately to go back to those times. When we were all friends and times were simpler. But now they were who knows where and they hate me. Everything is different.
I look up to see I was back at the small dwelling. I decided to sit down and try to calm down before walking inside. I did not need my newfound team to see me crying.
I lay down in a small patch of flower and look up at the sky. I watch as the clouds drift by in the sky. All I could think of were my ex-best friends. Why does this have to break me so damn much...?
I sighed and closed my eyes. Taking in the morning sunlight. I wish I could rewind back to last night and change everything. I must keep my head up though. I am starting anew. I'm following my dreams! I just wish it would not have started off so...sour.
And now I beginning to doubt if I ever wanted this in the first place. I would have left them behind either way. Our friendship would have probably drifted.
Now they are probably having a great time laughing and messing around. They are probably doing great without me. And here I am sobbing my eyes out for them. I cared too fucking much and now they are gone. I was too blind to realize I was abandoning my best friends, until it was too late.
I open my eyes.
I can feel my heart being shattered into a million pieces as I repeat the truth in my mind repeatedly. I feel more tears escape me.
Then I hear footsteps approach me. I quickly wipe away the tears and try to keep my composure. Then the sun is blocked from my vision. I blink a few times and then the person comes in focus.
"Y/N..?" The raven-haired male says. I see him looking down at me with worry in his eyes.
"Hey Sapnap!" I say, succeeding in hiding any sadness in my voice.
"Why were you crying just now? Are you alright?" he asks me, now bending down to my level on the ground. I sit up.
"You saw that?" I say, following it with an awkward laugh.
"Well yeah-" he says.
I stare up into the sky and sigh. "I guess everything that happened to me yesterday has finally affected me... I- I miss Tommy and Tubbo. I miss them so goddamn much. It hurts." I say, getting rid of the facade I had attempted to put on. I let a few more tears fall.
"Woah woah..." he says, laying his hand on my shoulder. He uses his other hand to direct my face to look at him. I feel my breath hitch. "I know it hurts. Losing friends is never an easy thing to go through. But it wasn't your fault. As your friend, he should have respected your decision to go with us. What he did was just an all-out dick move. Making you choose like that."
I sit there processing what he had told me. I feel a small smile creep on my face.
"And who knows what might happen. You could cross paths again in the future! And then you guys could right the wrongs and be friends once more. But for now, let's be positive. Don't let it get to you." he says, smiling at me. "I'm here for you Y/N. All of us are. Even though we just met, we all have each other's back ok? Don't be afraid to show your emotions around us."
I cannot help but smile his way. "Thank you Sapnap."
I wrap my arms around him to give him a hug. He hesitates for a bit before returning the hug.
"That means so much to me." I say, breaking away from the hug. I give him a big smile as a tear falls. "Happy tear I promise."
"I got your back Y/N. Remember that." He says, patting my back. Then he reaches out his hand to help me up, which I accept.
"Let's get inside now." He says. I let go of his hand and we walk back towards the house.
As we make our way back inside, I see the others awake and sitting down on their beds. When we walk through the door, they both look up at us.
"Oh hey! We were wondering where you went Y/N!" Dream said, getting up from his bed.
"I was just getting some food. And some wool, so I can make my own bed." I say, smiling slightly. I see George turn a bit red in the corner of my eye.
"You didn't have to get food. We could've gotten some!" Dream said. I just laughed. "I just want to help." I say grabbing the meat out of my bag and walking to the furnace. Luckily, there was already coal inside. I placed the meat inside and lit the furnace up.
Then I walk over to the crafting table and begin crafting my bed. I listen to the guys' conversation as I work. I make the bed and place it down, then walk over to the furnace and take the meat that was now cooked out.
"Here you guys go, food!" I say smiling.
. . .
We eat, having small conversations here and there. At one point I started choking on my food over something Dream had said. George freaked out while the rest of us started laughing. Dream was wheezing, which only made me laugh more.
With them I suddenly forgot about Tommy and Tubbo. I felt that this was the beginning of something great. I knew that this was meant to be.
. . .
After we finished eating, it was time to talk business.
Dream speaks, "So today we decided we need to build a permanent home. And I know just the place for it."
_________
1979 words; unedited