-May 11th 1995-
At the hospital Me,Ross,Rachel,Chandler, Joey and Monica are in the waiting room waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive including Phoebe.
Ross:She's not here yet.She's not here.She's having my baby and she's not here.
Monica:I'm sure everything's fine.
Elizabeth:Has her water broke yet?.
Ross:I don't know but when I spoke to her she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
Joey makes a sound of disgust.
Joey:Do we have to know about that?.
Monica:Joeu what are you gonna do when you have a baby?.
Joeu:I'm gonna be in the waiting room handing out cigars.
Chandler:Yes Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.
Elizabeth:If i was giving birth I'd want the father with me.
Ross:God I don't believe this.She could be giving birth in the cab.
Rachel:Oh Ross relax.It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction and then fifty cents for each additional contraction.
Everyone looks at Rachel.
Rachel:What it's ok when Chandler and Elizabeth does it?.
Chandler:You have to pick your moments.
Phoebe arrives guitar in hand and i grin.
Phoebe:Did I miss it,did I miss it?.
Ross:She's not even here yet.
Monica:What's with the guitar?.
Phoebe:I just thought we might be here for awhile.You know things might get musical.
Elizabeth:One of my favorite things."Smiles".
Carol and Susan arrive.
Ross:"To Carol".Where the hell have you been?.
Susan:We stopped at the gift shop.
Carol:I was looking at stuffed animals and Susan wanted a Chunky.
Ross:Susan wanted a Chunky.We're having a bavy ok a bavy you don't stop for Chunkys.
Chandler:I used to have that bumper sticker.
Everyone is amused by Chandler's comment.
Chandler:"To Rachel".You see what I mean.
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Later in the Waiting Room Chandler is falling asleep on my shoulder as Monica sitscon the opposite side of him.
Monica:I want a baby.
Chandler:Mmm.Not tonight honey.I got an early day tomorrow.
Monica:Get up.Come on.
Elizabeth:Let's get some coffee.
Chandler:Oh ok cause we never do that.
Me,Chandler and Monica leave or some Coffee...Later in the Waiting Room Phoebe is playing a song as Me,Chandler,Monica and Ross listen.
Phoebe:"Singing".They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why,you cry and you cry and you cry.And you cry and you cry and you cry...
Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.
Phoebe:Thanks Ross.
Ross:Yeah.I'm paying you to stop.
Phoebe:Ok.
A woman passes by carrying newborn twins.
Phoebe:Oh look twins.Hi guys.Oh cute,cute.
Monica:No fair.I don't even have one.How come they get two?.
Chandler:You'll get one.
Monica:Oh yeah?.When?.
Chandler:All right.I'll tell you what.When we're 40 if neither one of us are married what do you say you and I get together and have one?.
I feel jealous at Chandler's offer to Monica.
Monica:Why won't I be married when I'm 40?.
Chandler:Oh no,no.I just meant hypothetically.
Monica:Ok hypothetically why won't I be married when I'm 40?.
Chandler:No,no,no.
Monica:What is it?.Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?.
Chandler:Uh,uh.
Elizabeth:Well?.What do you say Chan?.
Chandler:Dear God!.This parachute is a knapsack!.
Chandler throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in and I can't help but chuckle but I stop when Rachel enters wearing a formal dress.
Rachel:Hey.
Phoebe:Hey.Oh look at you dressy-dress.
Monica:Did you go home and change?.
Rachel:Yeah well it's an important day.I wanna look nice.Um has uh Dr.Franzblau been by?.
Elizabeth:No I haven't seen him.
Rachel:Well where is he?.He is supposed to be here...What if the baby needs him?.
Chandler:Rachel what is the deal with you and doctors anyway?.Was like your father a doctor?.
Rachel:Yeah why?.
Chandler:No reason.
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Later on in the Waiting Room Monica is on the phone with her mother as Me and Chandler is standing behind her.
Monica:Now Mom everything's going fine really...Yeah Ross is great.He's uh he's in a whole other place...No he's gone...No,no you don't have to fly back really...What do you mean this might be your only chance?...Would you stop?.I'm only 26 I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby puts the phone to her chest and starts to cry.Chandler takes the phone makes a noise in it resembling static and hangs up.Joey then enters.
Elizabeth:Where have you been?.
Joey:Oh just had a baby.
Chandler:Mazel tov!.
Later on we are all in the delivery room except for Ross,Susan and Phoebe.
Carol:Where are they?.
Monica:I'm sure they'll be here soon.
Rachel:Yeah honey they wouldn't miss this.
Joey:Relax.You're only at nine centimeters. And the baby's at zero station.
Chandler:"To Joey".You are really frightening me.
Carol screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.
Chandler:Somebody wanna help me trying to rip out my heart.
We pull her hand off of him.
Chandler:Uh that's great."Looking around". Anybody seen a nipple?.
Franzblau:All right ten centimeters here we go.
???:All right honey time to start pushing.
Carol:But they're not here yet!.
Franzblau:I'm sorry I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
Carol:Oh god.
Time pasts and soon Ross and Susan rush in.
Everyone:Push,push!.
Ross:We're here!.
Carol:Where have you been?.
Ross:Long story honey.
Franzblau:All right Carol I need you to keep pushing.I need-
He reaches for an instrument but Rachel's hand is on it.
Franzblau:Excuse me could I have this?.
???:All right,all right there's a few too many people in this room and there's about to be one more so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner out you go.
Everyone:Good luck!.
We all head for the door and Chandler stops behind me.
Chandler:"To Nurse".Let me ask you do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?.
Elizabeth:Out!.
I grab Chandler dragging him out.
Soon the baby is born and Monica opens the door.
Monica:Hi.
Ross:Hey.
Monica:Can we come in?.
We all enter the delivery room.
Ross"To Baby".I know,I know.Everybody there's someone I'd like you to meet.Yeah. This is Ben.Ben this is everybody.
Phoebe:Susan he looks just like you.
Susan:Thanks.
I bite my lip to hold back a laugh at Phoebe.
Rachel:Oh god I can't believe one of us actually has one of these.
Chandler:I know I still am one of these.
Elizabeth:"In a baby voice".Oh does Chandler need his bottle?."Smirks".
Chandler:"Glares at Elizabeth".
Monica:Ross can I?.
Ross hands Ben to Monica and she holds him.
Ross:The head,the head.You gotta...
Monica:"Getting choked up".Hi Ben.Hi.I'm your Aunt Monica.Yes I am.I'm your Aunt Monica.I-I will always have gum.