-February 17th 1995-
At Monica and Rachel's Chandler walks in wearing a suit.
Chandler:Can you see my nipples through this shirt?.
Rachel:No.But don't worry I'm sure they're still there.
Elizabeth:You look nice.Don't worry.
Phoebe:Where are you going Mr. Suity-Man?
Chandler:Well I have an appointment to see Dr.Robert Pillman career counselor a-gogo...I added the a-gogo.
Rachel:Career counselor?.
Chandler:Hey you guys all know what you want to do.
Rachel:I don't!.
Chandler:Hey you guys in the living room all know what you want to do.You know,you have goals.You have dreams.I don't have a dream.
Ross:Ah the lesser-known I don't have a dream speech.
Elizabeth:I don't remember hearing Martin Luther King saying that.
Monica enters very excited.
Monica:Oh I love my life,I love my life!.
Phoebe:Oh!.Brian's Song.
Rachel:The meeting with the guy went great?.
Monica:So great!.He showed me where the restaurant's going to be.It's this,it's this cute little place on 10th Street.Not too big,not too small.Just right.
Chandler:Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?.
Elizabeth:"Laughs".Any porridge being made?.
Monica:So anyway I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night.You know kind of like an audition.And Phoebe he really wants you to be here which will be great for me because then you can oh and ah and make yummy noises.
Rachel:What are you going to make?.
Phoebe:Yummy noises.
Rachel:And Monica what are you going to make?.
Monica:I don't know.I don't know.It's just going to be so great!.
Phoebe:Oh!.I know what you could make!.
Phoebe runs over to join Monica and Rachel in the kitchen.
Phoebe:I know!.Oh you should definitely make that thing...you know with the stuff...You know that thing...with the stuff?. Ok I don't know."Sits down".
Ross:Hey guys does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?.
Joey:How about Tony's?.If you can finish a 32-ounce steak it's free.
Ross:Ok ahem hey does anybody know a good place if you're not dating a puma?.
Chandler:Who are you going out with?.
Phoebe:Oh is this the bug lady?.
Rachel:"Trying to sound like a bug".Bzzzz.... I love you Ross.
Ross:Her name is Celia.She's not a bug lady. She's curator of insects at the museum.
Elizabeth:So what are you guys going to do?.
Ross:Oh I just thought we could go out to dinner and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Chandler:And he's not speaking metaphorically.
I chuckle and I say my goodbye's and i leave off to work.
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At Monica and Rachel's everyone but Ross and Chandler is here as there Monica is making food and having everyone try it.
Monica:"To Joey".Ok try this salmon mousse.
Joey:"Tasting".Mmm.Good.
Monica:Is it better than the other salmon mousse?.
Joey:It's creamier.
Monica:Yeah well is that better?.
Joey:I don't know.We're talking about whipped fish Monica.I'm just happy I'm keeping it down y'know?.
Chandler kicks the door closed angrily and his clothes are askew as he looks beat.
Elizabeth:My God!.What happened to you?.
Chandler:Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests,intelligence tests,personality tests... and what do I learn?."Taps the results and reads them".You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation.
Phoebe:That's so great!.Cause you already know how to do that!.
Chandler:Can you believe it?.I mean don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool?.You know I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
Rachel:"Rubs him on the chest".Oh Chandler I know,I know...oh hey!.You can see your nipples through this shirt!.
Monica:"Brings a plate of tiny appetizers over".Here you go maybe this'll cheer you up.
Chandler:Oh you know I had a grape about five hours ago so I'd better split this with you.
Monica:It's supposed to be that small.It's a pre-appetizer.The French call it an amouz-bouche.
Chandler:"Tastes it".Well....it is amouz-ing...
I laugh at his comment as the phone rings and Monica answers it.
Monica:"Into phone".Hello?...Oh hi Wendy....Yeah 8,o'clock...What did we say?. Ten dollars an hour?...Ok great...All right I'll see you then.Bye."Hangs up".
Phoebe:Ten dollars an hour for what?.
Monica:Oh I asked one of the waitresses at work if she'd help me out.
Rachel:Waitressing?.
Joey:Uh-oh.
Monica:Well...of course I thought of you!. But...but...
Rachel:But,but?.
Monica:But you see it's just...this night has to go just perfect you know?.And well Wendy's more of a...professional waitress.
Rachel:Oh!.I see.And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics.
Chandler:You know I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in 76.......Amouz-bouche?."Holds out tray".
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Me,Phoebe and Chandler's walk into his new window office he is showing us around.
Chandler:Well?.
Phoebe:"Excited".Wow!.It's huge!.It's so much bigger than the cubicle.Oh this is a cube.
Elizabeth:Yeah.
Chandler:Look at this.
He opens the curtain to a view of New York City.
Phoebe:Oh!.You have a window!.
Chandler:Yes indeedy!.
We all look outside.
Chandler:With a beautiful view of...
Phoebe:Oh look!.That guy's peeing!.
Elizabeth:"Looks away".Gross.
Chandler:"Walks away from window".Ok that's enough of the view.Check this out look at this.Sit down,sit down.
Phoebe:"Sitting".Ok.
Chandler:This is great!"Presses a button on his intercom".Helen could you come in here for a moment?.
An unamused woman walks into the office.
Chandler:Thank you Helen that'll be all.
As she leaves Chandler speaks up.
Chandler:Last time I do that I promise.
I chuckle and shake ny head.
Elizabeth:Better be.She may make you stop herself.
Chandler:Oh haha.
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At Central Perk we are all are here except Chandler as Monica and Phoebe tells us about Steve.
Joey:What a tool!.
Rachel:You don't want to work for a guy like that.
Elizabeth:Yeah!.
Monica:I know...it's just...I thought this was you know...it.
Ross:Look you'll get there.You're an amazing chef.
Phoebe:Yeah!.You know all those yummy noises?.I wasn't faking.
Ross gets up and goes over to the counter and Joey follows him.I get up as well and grab my things.
Elizabeth:Well bye you all.I have a role to prepare for.
I leave Central Perk.