"Remus, I think we need to talk," Severus said a week after Halloween. He felt hopeless, and helpless, and like he did back when he was twelve and he was having stupid little crushes. The difference was, crushes went away and rarely lasted very long.
This wasn't going away, and if anything, the urge in his chest was getting stronger.
But was he going to talk about that? No. He wanted to talk about Harry.
"I think we should ask Harry about what his nightmare was about," Severus said. He was referring to the nightmare Harry had had the night prior, that woke the two men at around two in the morning with soft, quiet sobs, that were heartbreaking.
"Why?"
"I've never seen him have a nightmare like that, Remus. I don't want him to bottle up his emotions and because a ticking time bomb."
Severus had to refrain from saying 'Like me' as Remus replied, "Good point. Let's ask him when he wakes up. He hasn't been sleeping well, as you know, and should get as much rest- oop." Remus stopped talking when Harry rolled over on the couch and started to blink his eyes open. "Moony?"
"Yes Harry?"
"Where're my glasses?"
"Here." Remus handed Harry the round spectacles and continued to speak. "Are you hungry, or would it be okay if we talked about something for a bit?"
"What do we need to talk about?"
"Well..." Severus started. "We wanted to know... if you could tell us about your nightmare from last night."
"Do I have to?" Harry whimpered. "No, we aren't going to make you, but letting us know about it might help us understand, and talking about it might make you feel better."
"I don't want to," Harry muttered. "Are you thinking about it right now?"
"No."
"Harry, please don't lie to me. Are you thinking about it?" This time, Harry nodded. "I don't want to!" Harry shifted, trying to be discreet, but Remus and Severus could clearly see what he was trying to do.
Harry was trying to hide his lower half.
"Harry, do you think it would be easier if one of us left? Maybe talking to one of us would be easier than both."
"I-I guess. But I... I think... Can Daddy stay?" Harry asked softly. "Of course he can," Remus replied. "I'll go to my quarters for a bit." He stood and left through the portrait, something Severus put in when Remus had officially been made his assistant for Potions class, and their quarters had been joined together because of Harry.
"Harry, can you talk to me now?"
"It... It was... It was Uncle, I didn't want it! 'T hurt!"
"What hurt, honey?"
"He... he..." Instead of answering, he curled into a ball and started crying. "Oh, Harry." Severus quickly moved and held Harry to his chest. "Harry, did he touch you somewhere?" He received a nod.
"Where did he touch you, honey?"
Severus got his answer when Harry pulled the jumper he was wearing over his knees. "Harry... did he touch you down there in your nightmare?"
"I-I didn't want 'im to! He made me and I didn't want to an' it hurt and there was blood and-"
"Shh, it's okay Harry. It's okay. I promise."
"But it hurts!"
"Harry, look at me." He did. Tears were running down his face, his eyes red and puffy, his hair was wild. "This is going to be one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through. If I could make it all go away I would, but I can't. At least, not now. Over time things will get easier, okay?"
"B-But it hurts now..."
"I know bambi. Believe me, I know, but you'll get through this and everything will get better."
"When?!"
"I..." Severus sighed. He couldn't give Harry the answer he wanted to give, but lying and giving him a sense of false hope would be worst, wouldn't it?
Yes. Yes, it would.
"I don't know, Harry."
Violent sobs racked the small boy's body. All he wanted was to be better. He wanted to not have nightmares. If Daddy couldn't make it not hurt, then who could? No one. Not even Madame Pomfrey could make it stop if Daddy couldn't.
"I-I just want t-t-to be better! I-I thought... I-I'm... I'm a freak!" Harry shouted.
"Harry, no you aren't-"
"Yes I am-"
"Listen to me." Harry looked up, and piercing green eyes were met with soft obsidian ones. "You are not a freak, you never have been, nor will you ever be one. When I saved you, I knew you were going to have nightmares. Harry, what your uncle did to you was wrong, and he hurt you. It's sort of like a cut. It happened, and it needs time to heal. The difference is that you need to heal up here..." Severus pointed to his head "...instead of it being something your body heals."
"W-Will it always hurt this much? W-Will I e-ever be n-normal?"
"It won't always hurt this much. And you won't always have nightmares, but it takes time."
"What if I-I get 'nnoying and-and you l-leave?!"
"I will never leave or give you away. I'll always be here for you, and so will Moony, Poppy, and Minnie. You... You have a family now, Harry, and we're going to help you get better."
"What 'bout T-Tommy?"
"Tommy too."
"Cold."
Severus pulled the thin quilt that they always had in the living room and wrapped it around Harry. He rubbed Harry's back and finger combed his hair, as it had seemed to work the last time. He whispered small nothings as Harry cried. A mixture of tears and snot was running down Harry's face. It almost made Severus start to cry.
His son, his little boy, the one finally melted his heart of stone, was hurting so much. Harry was hurting just like he had hurt when he was growing up.
Severus was going to do everything he could to make sure Harry did not, in anyway, end up like him. Alone. Unwanted. Confused. Maybe even a little scared.
"Th-Thanks," Harry whispered. "Do you feel any better?"
"I-I think so. But it s-still hurts."
"Just not as much as before?" Harry nodded. "What do you want to do?"
"I-I don't know."
"How about we eat some treacle tart and ice cream and read some stories for the day?"
"Moony come?" Harry asked. Severus chuckled awkwardly. "Of course Moony can come. Now, why don't you go change into some clean clothes, because you got snot all over those, and I'll go fetch Moony?"
"Okay."
"Remus!" Severus called through the portrait after Harry ran to his bedroom. "Are you two done?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"Dammit, Remus... He had a nightmare about one of the times that oaf... that whale..."
"Touched him?"
"Raped him. Salazar, Remus, why him?"
"I don't know, Sev." They both looked up when they heard the tapping of footsteps on the floor, meaning Harry was coming back. "Moony!" he cried, and jumped into Remus' arms. He melted into the man's chest, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. "Hey, Harry."
"Stories now?" Harry mumbled. "Sure. You and Remus go get situated, I'll get treacle tarts and some books."
"Moony?" Remus sat on the sofa, Harry leaned against his side, and there was enough room for Severus to sit, which would leave Harry in the middle. "Yeah?"
"I... I know Poppy's like an auntie... Minnie's like a gran'ma. Tommy's a friend, I think... Filly Flitty is a friend of Daddy's that I like, too... so what are you? Are you like... an... a... an uncle?" Harry visibly shuddered at the word. "Or a dad? Or... are you... somethin' diff'rent?"
"Well, what do you think I am? What am I to you?"
"I..." Harry's speech drifted off as he looked back behind the couch, where Severus was in the kitchen, looking for something. "Would Daddy be mad?"
"If what?"
"If... If you're like a daddy?"
Remus felt his heart swell with a combination of love, pride, and a tinge of sadness. A sadness that manifested, because Harry saw him as a dad.
James should be there to fill that spot, not him.
"No. I can't imagine him being mad," Remus assured Harry. Then, Remus realized something. Well, questioned something, more like.
How would that work out?
I mean, you like him, right? But, you're a bloody werewolf. A poof at that. Not to mention he's not gay, Remus thought. Well, we're friends, I guess? What if we have a row, and BAM! I'm not welcome here anymore? What would that do to Harry?
"Remus, snap out of it," Severus said, snapping two fingers in front of his face. "'Kay. Now that Moony is back on Earth, which story do you want first?"
"The one about the pot and the shoe and the wizard." Harry started nibbling as Severus began to read a picture book version of the Tales Of Beedle And Bard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We need to talk," Remus stated, mustering his Gryffindor courage. "Alright. What?"
"It's about Harry-"
"I know you want to know what the nightmare was about and all of that, but he didn't want to tell you, so I'm not going to either." Remus sighed. "Not like that." A look of surprise appeared on Severus' face. "Really?"
"Severus, while you were getting treacle tarts and everything, he asked me if I thought you'd get mad. If he saw me as a... as... well, as a dad."
Severus made a gesture as he tried not to spit out his coffee, black of course, in shock. "What?"
"Yeah. But that's only half of it. How will this work? I know he knows the difference, because he sees Poppy and Minnie as aunts, Thomas as his friend, and I think he meant Flitwick when he said Filly Flitty as a friend of yours he likes as well."
"Well, if that's how he sees you..."
Alright, come on, while he's distracted. Just say it!
"And I might like you a bit more than I should."