JJ looked up and smiled as she caught sight of Emily and Rachel giggling over a toy. Rachel was trying to dodge out of Emily's reach as Emily poked her with some kind of teddy bear looking thing. JJ just shook her head and went back to looking through the clothes in front of her. She didn't get how easily it came to Emily to be able to make the little girl laugh or feel comfortable. If JJ was being honest with herself, she was still shaken up from the doctor's office. Having to hold Rachel while she begged for them not to give her a shot had made her feel awful.
JJ heard little footsteps running behind her and grinned as Rachel came to a stop right before sliding into the counter. "Look at this JJ!" She said with a bright smile on her face. JJ turned and looked down at the white fuzzy teddy bear in Rachel's hands. "Emily said we could get it if you say okay, its only twelve dollars and I have two!"
"If I say okay?" JJ asked Emily with a smirk. "Thanks Em."
"I didn't exactly put it like that, did I Rachel?"
Rachel shrugged. "I dunno, sorry, I don't need it." She turned to go put it back, dejected when JJ reached over and snatched it out of her hands and placed the teddy bear in the cart.
"We can get it." She said giving Rachel a smile. "Which shirt do you like?"
"The blue one." Rachel pointed, giving JJ a tiny smile of her own. She watched in awe as Emily and JJ went through clothes after clothes offering up choices. No one had ever just given Rachel this many things before, her mother barely left her bed, let alone shop, and her father simply couldn't have cared less. "I don't need all of this." Rachel said after a few minutes.
"But you can have it." JJ insisted. She wanted to give Rachel anything she asked for. Catching Emily's eye, JJ frowned. "Rachel, pick out one more shirt, and stay right there." JJ said as she stepped closer to Emily and raised her eyebrows in question.
"What's up Em, you're making that face."
"What face?" Emily asked. JJ made a face back to Emily and smacked her lightly on the arm. Emily sighed. "Its just...my parents gave me basically anything material I asked for, it didn't make me feel loved. I just...I don't want her to think we're trying to buy her love."
JJ sighed and shifted her weight from one foot to another. She glanced back over at Rachel, the little girl was currently playing Eeny, meeny, miny, moe between a green Tinkerbell shirt, and a blue Eeyore one. "I don't want to do that either, but she seems so afraid to ask us for anything, I don't want her to think she can't have things."
"She'll figure it out Jayje, its just gonna take time."
"Em, I am not a patient person." JJ said with a completely serious look on her face. Emily burst out into laughter, if nothing else than because it was true.
"What do you like better, Tinkerbell or Eeyore?" Rachel asked coming up behind them.
"Humm, Jayje?" Emily asked.
"I've always liked Eeyore, but I like Tinkerbell too, whatever one you want."
"Do you like Eeyore Emily?" Rachel asked.
"I do." Emily said with a smile.
"Okay, Eeyore please then." Rachel said pulling it off the shelf.
"Great, lets pay for this stuff and go home!" Emily said happy to be done shopping. Rachel agreed with her and began to run ahead to the checkout. "Rachel! Slow down!" Emily yelled out after her. Rachel instantly stopped and began walking slowly as she waited for them to catch up.
The three of them cashed out and headed to their car. Rachel wasn't exactly thrilled about the booster seat and began to pout as JJ set it up. "Rachel, its for your safety, and look its pink! That's pretty cool right?" JJ asked. Rachel crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned against the car, a frown planted on her face. "Rachel, please, you're too little to be safe in the car without one."
"I am not that little!" Rachel protested. JJ raised her eyebrows at Rachel as if to say 'really?'. Rachel deepened her frown and gave a little huff, but she climbed into the car seat and allowed JJ to show her how to buckle it in. The ride home was filled with silent and awkward tension. Rachel refused to talk to either Emily or JJ and was starting to feel pain from where she had gotten her shot. That, plus the fact that she was hungry and tired was making her cranky.
The three of them piled out of the car and carried the bags into the apartment. JJ started making sandwiches while Emily and Rachel unpacked Rachel's new things in her room. When they came down to eat, JJ was disappointed to realize that Rachel seemed to have shut down a bit. The giggly little girl from the store was gone, and she was quiet and moody. When Rachel was finished with her lunch, she asked if she could go play in her room. Rachel stayed up there all afternoon, only coming down when Emily went to get her for dinner. The little girl was just as quiet and unresponsive as she had been for lunch despite all of Emily and JJ's attempts. After putting her to bed, the two of them retired to bed themselves. JJ sat up twisting her hair around as Emily changed and climbed into bed next to her.
"We need to take her to the psychiatrist tomorrow." JJ said softly.
"I know, I called already, we've got an appointment for 2:30 tomorrow."
"Garcia and Morgan want to come over to see her too, but I told them I wasn't sure if she was ready yet."
"Maybe we can ask the shrink that. Her name is Dr. Yang. She's got really good references, I googled her."
"Okay." JJ said, rolling over on her side and turning off the light. She felt Emily wrap her arms around her and let her body sink into the brunette.
"Its only been two full days Jen, the only thing we can do is show her we'll be there until she believes it. It sucks, but we can't just flip a switch and erase seven years of neglect."
"I wish we could."
"Yeah, me too."
Rachel spun around in her chair. Emily, JJ and Dr. Yang were talking in the hallway. Every few seconds or so, one of them glanced over at her, Rachel had been ignoring them. She was sick of doctors, the last one had poked all around her body and then stuck her with a needle, she didn't have high hopes for this lady either. The seven year old kicked her legs and spun herself around faster and faster until she felt a little dizzy. Emily walked in and caught her mid-spin.
"Hey." She greeted her. "So, we were thinking that you and Dr. Yang could talk for a while, and then JJ and I can come back in here and we can all talk. Is that okay with you?"
"Why do I have to talk to her?" Rachel asked as she spun the chair back and forth slightly in Emily's grip.
"You can tell her anything you want, its her job to listen to you."
"Yeah, but why?"
Emily sighed. "Because, Rachel what your mother and father did to you was not okay. And...we want to make you feel better about yourself, and..." Talking to a seven year old was a little more difficult than she anticipated. "We want you to feel okay talking about anything, with Dr. Yang, and with JJ and I."
"Okay." Rachel said with her signature shrug. She kicked her legs out and spun around, forcing Emily to step out of the way. Emily patted her head gently and went back out to the waiting room with JJ.
Rachel ignored Dr. Yang as she entered the room. She continued to spin around in her chair and kept her gaze down. Her curiosity got the better of her however, and every few seconds, she lifted her eyes up and glanced at the doctor.
"Hi Rachel." Dr. Yang finally greeted her.
"How come you didn't say hi until now?" Rachel asked. Pausing her spinning momentarily.
"You weren't looking at me then, I like to look at the people I talk to, if that's alright with you."
"Whatever." Rachel said as she resumed her spinning. After a few more silent minutes, Rachel grew bored with spinning around in a chair and looked at Dr. Yang. "Aren't we supposed to talk? That's what Agent Emily said."
"Why do you call her Agent Emily?"
Rachel shrugged. "She is an agent, she has a gun, she and JJ catch bad guys." Rachel said nonchalantly. She spun around once and then stopped in front of Dr. Yang's desk. "They caught by dad." She stated while looking down at the floor. "But first, they came into our hotel room with guns. They scared me."
"Because they had guns?"
"I guess so."
"So they still scare you?"
"They don't have their guns around me. Only at work." Rachel pointed out as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Dr. Yang smiled softly. "I meant do Emily and JJ scare you anymore?" Dr. Yang asked. Rachel didn't meet her eye. She swiveled her chair back and forth and stared at the books behind the woman. Dr. Yang waited patiently while Rachel took her time to answer. "Rachel, I wanted to let you know, that nothing we say in here will leave this room. Do you understand what I mean by that?" Rachel shook her head. "It means that you can say anything, and I won't tell anyone, not even Emily and JJ if you ask me not to."
"Like a secret?"
"More like an agreement."
"Oh, okay." Rachel spun around again, wondering how long Dr. Yang would just sit there and watch her without talking. Rachel tried to spin until she said something, but she was getting dizzy and it was making her head hurt and she was bored. "I'm scared of everyone." She whispered softly after a while. "Not always the same amount though. Some people scare me more. Boys, grown ups, mostly grown ups. You're not so scary, but Emily and JJ are a little bit."
"How do they scare you?"
Rachel tucked her legs up indian style in her seat and leaned forward. "Well I,...its hard to explain."
"Just say it anyway that makes sense to you."
"Well, they're nice, but people who are nice to you for a while, sometimes get really mean."
"Like how?"
"My dad was nice – kinda – at first. He used to give me toys and stuff, and costumes for dances, but then he always got real mad."
"What would he do when he got angry?"
"Smack me or something."
"And you're afraid that Emily or JJ would hit you?"
"I don't know yet. I've only known 'em for a little while."
"Well, what do you think of them right now?"
"I already told you, they're nice." Rachel said as she kicked her legs out again and spun around. Dr. Yang made a note for every time she did that to avoid answering a question right away.
"Just nice?" Dr. Yang prompted. "Can you tell me anything specific?"
"JJ's a good cook, but Emily's not. Its kind of funny." Rachel hesitated in her chair. She wanted to get up and look at a book on the shelf, but she didn't want to make Dr. Yang angry.
"Is there something you wanted to look at?" Dr. Yang said, turning around. Rachel shook her head sheepishly and glanced down at the floor. "I've got a lot of books, you're free to look at any of them you like. Come on up."
Rachel glanced at Dr. Yang again to be sure that it was really okay. When she felt alright about it, Rachel stood up slowly and walked over to the shelf. She looked back at Dr. Yang again and received a nod of encouragement. Rachel turned back to the shelf and looked through all the titles, pausing on a few names she recognized but didn't know the stories of.
"Have you read any of these?" Dr. Yang asked. Rachel shook her head. "Do you like to read?"
"I'm not very good at it. My dad never let me have books around, we moved too much."
"Well, maybe Emily or JJ could help you?"
"I don't need their help, I can take care of myself."
"But why would you want to?"
"People don't hurt you so much if you don't really like them. I took care of myself when I was little. My mom was always sad."
"Yes, I've been told that. Do you remember your mother?"
"A little. She slept a lot, and she was sad. I just remember when she killed herself."
"Who told you that's what happened?"
"The police and my dad."
"Were you scared when you found her?"
"A little, but I was more confused. She slept all the time, so I just thought she was sleeping again. I got sad and scared later, when she didn't wake up. The police scared me a little." Rachel pulled a book off the shelf – Wizard of Oz – and looked at the cover. She opened the book and flipped through some pages before turning back to Dr. Yang. "Can we be done now?" She asked.
"Sure. If you'd like you can take that book out to the waiting room and look at it while I talk to Emily and JJ. Would you be willing to come see me again sometime?"
"I guess." Rachel answered as she carried the book over to the door and opened it. "She wants to talk to you." She said to Emily and JJ as they jumped out of their seats and walked quickly over to her. Rachel practically ignored them, and sat down, invested in her book.
Emily and JJ looked at each other a little confused, JJ looked back at the secretary to be sure she would keep an eye on Rachel. Receiving a nod from the woman, she followed Emily into the room with one last look at Rachel.
"Please have a seat." Dr. Yang said, motioning to the chairs in front of her. Emily and JJ sat down and took each others hands, waiting anxiously. Dr. Yang smiled at them. "You've got a very intelligent little girl there. The things you mentioned were mostly spot on however, she doesn't make much eye contact which is usually a sign that a child is uncomfortable, or afraid. She most definitely has trust issues, with everyone. According to her, even if people start out being nice to her, they eventually stop. Right now, she feels alright with you, but she's waiting for the other shoe to drop. Your experience with profiling gives you a great advantage, you would catch or understand things much easier than someone without your training. Right now, you're doing everything right. The only thing that will eventually reassure her is time. Its unfortunate, and frustrating, but it is really the only thing that will work. I do recommend that she continue to see me for a while, it might make the transition easier, possibly quicker."
"Is there anything specific we should be doing? Or looking out for?" Emily asked.
"Keep an eye out for what makes her shut down, and what seems to bring her out of her shell, don't bombard her with questions about her past, but don't ignore it. Its best to only talk about it much if she brings it up, we can talk about it more when she is here. Really, just trust your instincts, you'll do fine."
"Thank you." Emily said as they stood up to shake her hand. JJ opened the door and called Rachel in to say goodbye. Rachel walked in and placed the book down on Dr. Yang's desk.
"Thank you." She whispered.
"You're welcome, you can look at it next time you're here if you like."
"Okay."
Rachel, Emily and JJ headed outside to the car. "You like the Wizard of Oz?" JJ asked. Rachel shrugged.
"I dunno, I've never read it."
"Have you seen the movie? Its one of my favorites."
"No."
"I've got the book at home." Emily said as she glanced back to make sure Rachel was strapped in properly. "You can read it if you want."
Rachel fiddled with the bottom of her t-shirt and bit her lip. "I can't really read too good." She whispered, embarrassed.
"Oh, well, I can read it with you if you'd like."
"No thank you." Rachel was silent the rest of the drive home. As they walked through the door, JJ headed straight for the coffee pot to add to her caffeine addiction. Emily asked Rachel if she wanted a snack, receiving a nod, she began to dig around for the cheetos that she knew JJ had hidden somewhere. Rachel climbed up – somewhat unsuccessfully – onto one of the island table stools. She leaned forward and watched Emily and JJ interact with each other. "Are you two married?" She asked after a minute.
Emily looked up from her hunched over stance by the pantry and stared first at Rachel, then at JJ. She stood up and walked over to the table, JJ right behind her.
"Umm, yes we are. I thought you knew that." Emily answered after a moment.
Rachel cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes in thought. "But you're both girls."
"Yes we are." JJ said with a smile. She leaned forward and placed her elbows onto the countertop, in mirror image of Rachel. "Sometimes men and women marry each other, sometimes two men marry each other, and sometimes, two women marry each other."
"Cause they're in love?" Rachel asked. JJ turned her head and grinned at Emily, who was hiding a smirk.
"Yeah, because they are in love."
"Oh, okay, can I get that book now?" She asked Emily.
Emily beamed at the precious little girl. "Sure, I'll show you where it is." Emily turned and bumped her hip into JJ's playfully before following behind Rachel.