The words left in a blur, filling his ears at a pace his brain couldn't keep up with. The endless confession dragging on much longer than needed, but none of the information would process. Each word that slipped from Annie's tongue might as well have been in a foreign language, falling from her lips in a haste. It was simple enough, the words were dull and hurtful, his brain not wanting to soak in the truth. Blocking his knowledge from receiving the information, building a wall around his being for protection, over the unbarring information that was being tossed at him. Each minute that passed by was a century in his mind, each word that was spoken seemed to be laced in poison, each thought that crossed his mind sent waves of pain throughout his whole body; ringing within his spine. Hitting the one place without a shield; his heart. Triggering the stomach to knot up and bundle together; twist and turn, churn and ache. As if millions of tiny butterflies were fluttering among his stomach walls, beating against the soft organ; making his lunch wanted to come up. It was unbelievable, impossible. It was nothing but a mere lie; or so he told himself.
Yet, the stern painful look plastered on the blonde female's features told him enough, she wasn't making anything up. After the years of being friends with the small woman he learned how to read her expressions, able to detect when something seemed off. All his senses were tingling. She spoke like she never has before. A caring soft tone drenching the words she spoke, trying to give off the information in a gentle way; something she never cared to do. Head hung, staring directly at the ground, probably shocked herself or unable to watch his reaction. Smart choice, since Bertholdt wasn't aware of the tears streaming down his own cheeks; unable to feel the warm waters stain his sun kissed skin. Only able to listen as his close friend told him knowledge that effected much, staring down at her pitiful state. The cracking of her voice, the stuttering and soft tone. It was nothing like the girl he knew, but with the words she spat it was no surprise even someone as collected as her could break down.
"Bertholdt, I'm sorry. I know you and Reiner have been together since a young age. I was there, too. I remember when we all were little, best friends forever, or so we said. I can still remember when you confessed to each other, I have to admit, it was cute. I'm so sorry. I- I just, can't let this happen... Any longer. I can't sit here and watch as Reiner does this to you, as I hurt you. I'm sorry, but..." Her sentence stopped, probably all train of thought as well. From where it was going already, it seemed this wasn't all the pain shipping his way. Catching a glance of the petite girl, biting into her bottom lip, arms fiddling behind her back. "I can't stand by as... Reiner fools around with people- someone! Eh, Bertholdt, Reiner has been cheating on you... with someone, for a while now..."
That was all it took; for Bertholdt to snap. Unable to keep his mind from wondering, frolicking in the field of the unknown. Each question that passed through only ached his heart even more. Left to wonder what he did wrong, and why. So many questions, without a single answer. The tears that were already streaming started to fall in a greater number, rolling down red irritated flesh. Passing dried up moist skin, creating more red marks. The male couldn't control his body, feeling all his muscles tense up, stiff as a rock. Standing still, emerald orbs staring into nothing but space. Scenes playing through his mind, of Reiner with another; it only may the butterflies in his stomach fly around more.
Without letting another word be said, he took his leave, not wanting anyone to see him in such a pitiful state. They'd probably judge, and that's the last thing he wanted, to feel any eyes on him. His disgusting body, hideous and fragile. Tall and skinny, what a horrid curse, no wonder Reiner would leave for another. It was probably all the flaws you could easily point out. Sick of his stupid anxiety, of him always being shy and blushing. Must have been annoying; quiet a bother. Maybe the fact he tend to stutter and speak in a quiet manner, afraid of bothering anybody around. Or possibly because he couldn't defend himself, not really one to get into arguments or fights, always hiding and cowering into corners; unable to deal with a real problem. Yeah, no wonder he left.
It didn't take long for the dark haired boy to retreat home, back to their shared apartment. Luckily, it was empty, having the whole house as his pacing room. Walking throughout the small hallways, the thump of each step echoing through the silent air. The wooden floors creaking slightly, along with small whimpers and sobs. Sniffle after sniffle, a large clammy hand wiping away tears and snot constantly. Running his long gray sleeve over the wet areas, only making the skin more blemished. Leaving bright crimson bags under each eye, a nose like Rudolph. Sickening state, similar to a widow who just lost their husband.
The couch seemed like a much better place to be sulking than wondering their shared home. Not wanting to smell his fragrance throughout the whole house. Lighting a single candle to send away the scent, leaving the wax to burn on the coffee table. Seating himself on the comfy leather, soft and worn out; which only made it cushionier. Letting his vision follow the design driven into the sofa, trying anything to take his mind away from the depressing questions drifting through his mind. "Reiner..." His name left his lips with a painful ring, bursting into a fit of sobs and tears. Curling up into himself, trying to provide any type of warmth for himself; heart feeling ice cold. Pulling his feet from the floor, pressing his knees to his chest, burying his face into them, trying to muffle the cries. The steaming liquids falling from sealed eyelids, slowly gliding down with the rest if his fallen tears.
With a single glance at the clock the numbers told him the love of his life, Reiner Braun, would be home soon; that is, if he didn't stop by his new lovers house first. "M-maybe a shower will help..." He murmured to himself more than anything, finding it slightly comforting to speak to himself. It gave him some company; even if it made him seem crazy, it was the least he could have.
As he thought, the burning water hitting his exposed body was soothing; relaxing all his tense muscles. The warm waters washed away most of the salty waters, making the red puffy circles around his eyes dim down; if anything it could pass off as just allergies from the weather. "Why me?" Bertholdt mumbled in a whisper, cursing at himself, and glaring. Running his thin fingers through dark brown locks, using slightly grown out nails to claw at his scalp, releasing some of the anger boiled up inside. The stinging hurt, but not enough to leave him satisfied, rinsing out the bubbly soap, glancing down as the filthy water as it flushed down the drain. Next was his body, leaving decent nail marks around his skin, none deep enough to sprout blood, but enough to make the skin red, white, and some puffy. They wouldn't last for more than a good half an hour or so. The pain would fade any minute; to Bertholdt's dismay.
The water pellets rolled down exposed flesh, just as the tears did before. Dripping onto the floor, soaking into the carpet under his feet. Either that, or soaking into the towel being dragged across his body, to dry himself off before getting dressed. Some of the claw marks stung, which didn't bother him at all. Wrapping the pure white towel around his waist, making his way to their bedroom. Not spending too much time searching for an outfit; it was unpleasant just to be in the room. Remembering all the times they've shared that bed, locked the door, giggled and played, cuddled and kissed. The once joyful memories were now bullets to the heart, unwanted and unforgettable. As his big sweater was pulled over his head, the front door could be heard. The heavy hinges squeaking open, the door having to pop out of the frame. Loud footsteps following the sounds, then a close. Listening closely Bertholdt could pick up moving around and sighing, deciding it was a good idea to leave the room, rather than stay locked up and play spy.
Leaving the room was difficult, only able to creak open the small thin door, peering out into the hallway, able to spot the kitchen from his position. Finding Reiner digging through the fridge, probably hungry after his long day of work, if he even did go to work; it was hard to believe anything anymore. With one last glance he busted through the door, acting on his thoughts. Play it cool, he knows nothing; at least until he learns a little more. It would make the taller male feel at ease if his husband were to come out and confess.
"Hey, Reiner, you're home..." His voice sounded a bit scratchier and dried out than normal, trying to push that fact to the side and act as if nothing was wrong. Taking a small glance at the clock; late as he suspected.
The blond only turned around at the voice, shutting the fridge to pull his partner into an embrace, giving the bigger one of them a kiss on the cheek, having to extend his height slightly. "Oi! So, what's for dinner?"
Reiner had already removed his top layer of clothing, the excess particles hung neatly on a bar stool chair, like every day. The two weren't big about cleanliness, but it was something they definitely considered important. Without answering the lengthy male got to work, whipping up something quickly. Dumping some rice into the pot, washing the grains, and cooking it. Along with an easy cook meal, so dinner wouldn't be too late. Preparing a single plate, as the other was already seated at the table. Luckily, Reiner hadn't decided to make small talk; Bertholdt was afraid he's burst into tears.
With dinner served, the male took his seat back on the couch, staring blankly at the ground again. Holding back any urge to cry and throw something at the lying cheater. Simply deciding it was best to look the other way and ignore; casting away any feelings. Listening to the sounds of a fork meeting plate, hearing his swallows and gulps. Able to tell by sound what he was doing, taking a bite, scooping up more, getting a drink. Bertholdt thought he knew him well, but it looked like he had some secretes kept hidden. The smell of food was making his stomach do cartwheels; his appetite ceasing to exist.
It didn't take long till the other was done with his meal, he might have inhaled his food; as if there was no chewing involved, just swallowing. Without washing, the plate and fork were tossed into the sink, along with an empty cup, the only thing left were small grains of rice that were missed and droplets of soda from his drink. The plate plopped into the stainless steel sink with a bang, the noise ringing through the small apartment. Along with the metal hitting the bottom, mixed in with the sound of Reiner's sighs of relief. Probably worked his ass off all day, either doing what his job required, or screwing whores. Or at least to Bertholdt they were considered that.
"Well, I'm going to bed..." The skinny male spoke more towards himself than his husband. Trying to act as if he wasn't even there, like when he first arrived home. His company was all he needed; he couldn't lie or cheat himself. Picking himself up from the sofa, Bertholdt slumped along to his bed, slipping under the large covers. It wasn't a surprise the shower was heard running, Reiner always liked to bathe after work, or after anything at that matter.
It was proven difficult to fall asleep before the large man could emerge from the bathroom, joining him in bed, but it was no use. He would have rather been sleeping when his body heat joined his, but rather his body wanted him awake; to suffer more pain?
"Heh, couldn't sleep?" The smirk that danced upon the blonde's lips made a unsettling feeling wash over his body, a small shiver running over his spine. "Ah, well, I'm beat." Without anything else, Reiner crawled over his lover, slipping under the covers, joining his husband in their shared bed.
Without a warning, arms snaked around Bertholdt's torso, pulling their bodies closer, able to feel his bare chest through the thin sweater he wore. Legs entwining at the end of the bed, nothing sexual just a cuddle; even though that the last thing he wanted at the moment. Trying to fall asleep under the new circumstances was difficult, his stomach more than displease about the situation. Only dreaming he was only person who received these hugs. Wanting nothing more than for this warmth to mean something more.