The phone kept on ringing..
Kung di ako nag-kakamali, it's mine na tumutunog. I don't know.. I am not even sure kung nanaginip ba ako but my own hand moved, locating where the awful ringtone's coming from.
Then I reached it.
Kinuha ko ang phone, I think I swiped it I don't know pero nilagay ko siya sa tenga ko bago muling umayos sa pagkakadapa.
"Love? Good morning, it's Thursday today." I heard Cane's voice.. this is such a good dream..
I love his voice, sa panaginip man o hindi.. but I am still annoyed.
"Baby?"
Ah, his voice was so soothing.
"Hm.."
"Gising ka na?"
"Hm.."
"Are you still mad, love?"
Ang lambing masyado ng boses..
"Hm.." then I heard something.. I think it's a snore, hindi ko alam kanino nang-galing, kung sakin ba o sa Cane na kausap ko in my freaking dreams. I don't know. The bed's so comfy, that's what matters.
"Babe? You have an exam today, tulog ka pa? It's already 5:30."
Exam.. hanggang panaginip ba naman may exam? I need a freaking break, hindi ba uso ang pahinga sa mga tao ngayon? I'm so tired studying.. I'm so tired dreaming of all the deadlines and failed quizzes.
"Hm.."
"Love? Baby? Chandy? Cha?"
".."
"Love?" he suddenly sound alert, "Are you okay? Wait teka," then his voice became distant.. I heard some shuffling and cursing, I heard something fell and then another curse then everything became blurry.
Darkness ate me again.
I don't know what time it is pero biglang umakyat lahat ng panic sa katawan ko ng masilaw sa liwanag na nang-gagaling sa bintana. Damn! Umagang umaga na! Agad akong napabalikwas at kinuha ang phone ko na nasa may bedside table lang ni Ansel. Ni Ansel.. shit! Yeah, dito nga pala ako natulog.
Wala man lamang ako kadala dalang extra clothes!
Agad kong chineck ang phone ko habang mabilis na nag-aayos ng sarili. It's already 7 in the morning, may ilang missed call galing kay Cy at Hurricane, meron din kay Janella. Shit! My exam! How dare me to even sleep this long?
I entered Ansel's bathroom para lang mag-punas and also to brush my teeth, if may isang bagay na hindi mawawala sa bag ko it's my toothbrush. Minadali ko lamang bago nagpunas ng mabilis at lumabas na ng kwarto dala dala lahat ng gamit ko. Ansel's still sleeping, I just can't wake her up.
Sighing, agad akong bumalik and left her a note. I gave her one last glance before storming out her room. Wala pang gising sa bahay nila. I think it's a good thing, masyado pang matatagalan kapag naka-usap ako ni Tita.
I hurriedly insert the key to my car and maneuver it.
I was biting my lip the whole time hanggang sa malasahan ko ang dugo pero tuloy pa din ako sa pag-kagat. Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko, naiiyak na ako baka hindi ako maka abot sa exam, pang-tatlong subject ko pa naman ngayon yon today.
Parang lahat ng naaral ko for the past few days nawala, and then I suddenly remembered hindi ko pa naman tapos aralin lahat ng para sa ngayong exam and it's all because.. it's all because I let myself be so emotional and low.
I keep on cursing myself in my head habang inaabot ang phone ko, agad kong ni-play ang recordings ko para sa mga natitira kong hindi pa naaaral ng ayos. Minsan ko lamang to gawin kasi sobrang dalang lang naman na nangyayari sakin mag-cram, I'm just thankful I am such a girl's scout. May back-up plan to review for the last minute habang nagda drive.
Then it ring. Hurricane's calling. Agad kong in-end yon at tinuloy lamang ang pakikinig sa recording but it he freaking called again! Ugh! Sa sobrang pikon ko halos maihagis ko na ang phone sa back seat. Bakit ba kasi ngayon pa tatawag?!
I declined it again, on the third call doon ko na sinagot.
"Damn it, Hurricane! Stop calling me I am driving and very late!"
"Lo—"
I ended his call and stepped on my gas. It took me almost four hours to reach the university. Pagdating ko sa may room namin sarado na. Bawal na pumasok, but damn, I am still early for my next class. Sa mismong exam.
Saka lamang ako nakahinga ng maluwag at napa-upo sa may corridor. That was so epic! Chineck ko ulit ang phone ko nang lumabas bigla si Maddie, mukhang naguguluhan na makita ako.
"Akala ko masama pakiramdam mo?" she asked dumbfounded.
"Huh?"
"In-excuse ka na ni Cyclone ah, may med certificate nadin na na-present. Excuse ko na for the whole day."
"W-how?"
She rolled her eyes as she chuckles, "Naku girl, just rest. Wala kang masasagot sa exam mamaya kapag may sakit ka. Wait, cr lang ako." She bid before turning her back on me.
I checked my phone again para tignan ang mga message. Hindi ko tinignan ang galing kay Hurricane, inuna ko kaagad ang kay Cyclone. Geez, that guy! I'm really thankful siya na nag-cover para sakin.
From: Cy
Where the hell are you?!
Hurri's going crazy.
Dude, nag-aalala ako okay but Hurri's too entertaining to watch! He's going crazy nawawala ka HAHA.
Then he sent a video of Hurricane, I didn't open it, tuloy lamang ako sa pag-babasa ng messages ni Cy.
Dude, I know ure safe my dumb guts telling me u are. Anyway, update: Hurri just committed a sin haha, he talked to our Aunt para humingi ng med certificate for u. He knew hindi ka aabot sa exam mamaya haha.
Ansel already told us nasa kanila ka. Minura ako! Istorbo daw sa tulog, damn.
"Chandy?"
Napalingon ako sa tumawag. It was Cyclone, agad akong napatayo. He smiled wiggling his brow, "Hindi ka naligo no?"
"Shut the hell up,"
Tinawanan lamang niya ako, saka ko lang na-realize na may kausap siya sa phone. "Yeah, yeah. She's here, you can breathe now." Then he gave me a wink and ended the call.
I suddenly felt so guilty na sinigawan ko si Cane kanina. I even ignored all his messages. Gusto ko tuloy siyang tawagan or i-text pero nahihiya na naman ako. Lagi na lamang, kapag may mali ako.
"Kumain ka na?"
"No."
"Okay. Nagpa-deliver na ako. Darating na mamaya. May 1 and a half hour ka pa, kitain mo nalang yong delivery man don sa bench." Turo niya sa may tapat ng building.
"Yeah, thanks"
"Nag-notes at recording nadin ako."
"Thanks."
I smiled at him. I am really thankful, hindi din naman siya talaga nagno notes or record kaya I really do appreciate the act. I heaved a sigh bago dumiretso sa bench na sinasabe ni Cy.
Binuksan ko lamang ang phone ko para mag-aral habang inaantay ang delivery food. Lahat ng panic ko kanina naging pagod. Mas nakaka drain mag-worry and ma-guilt at the same time kesa mag-aral magdamag sa totoo lang. Siguro mamaya ko na lamang kakausapin si Cane kapag nakapag exam na kami at wala ng isipin.
I was already on the sixth page when someone stood in front of me. Agad akong tumunghay expecting the delivery man but it's my boyfriend looking down at me. He didn't look so good today, magulo ang buhok niya. His shirt wasn't properly ironed and there's a dark circle under his eyes. He looked more stress than I, in short.
"You're making me crazy," was the first thing he said as his eyes roamed over my body checking if I am really okay and alive. I gave him a small smile bago kinuha ang pagkain na dala niya.
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin. Minsan, ang roller coaster lang talaga ng nangyayari sa amin. May issue ako na ayoko nalang pag-usapan o sabihin sa kanya like what happened last night. Gusto ko sana i-open yon pero nagi guilt talaga ako sa pag-sigaw ko sa kanya kanina, it's not right. And, mas nakaka guilt na napaka selosa ko kapag si Barb na yong issue.
I mean, bakit ba lagi ko silang binibigyan ng malisya? Hindi ko naman talaga gusto e, pero kasi yong utak ko sari sari din pumapasok. Alam kong hindi healthy. Ako yong hindi healthy. Maybe, I just need to fix every issue on myself.
Tska mula bata naman mag-kasama na talaga sila sa lahat ng bagay. Normal lamang na makita ko siguro sa mata at kilos ni Barb na sobrang mahalaga sa kanya si Cane. Kasi, ganon din naman ako kay Cyclone.
Napabuntong hinga ako. Tumabi siya sakin, napangiti lalo ako ng maamoy na naman ang pabango niya.
"I'm sorry." Mahina kong saad.
Tumingin ako sa kanya. Ngumiti siya sakin bago ako inakbayan at mas inilapit sa kanya. "Nag-alala ako."
"Sorry."
"Lalo na ng wala ka sa condo kanina. Diko alam san ka hahanapin."
"Next time, rest assured nakay Ansel lang ako."
"Next time, I'll make sure alam ko kung nasan ka talaga."
"Okay." Sagot ko lang habang hinihilig ang ulo ko sa balikat niya.
"Eat, babe. May exam ka pa."
Tumango lamang ako at sinimulan kumain, hindi umalis si Hurricane kahit may klase nadin siya maya maya. Instead, binabasa niya sakin ang reviewer ko habang kumakain ako. Napapangiti ako kapag kumukunot ang kilay niya dahil nahihirapan siyang bigkasin ang ibang salita. Parang sobrang alien ng dating sa kanya, and he looks so cute.
"Siguro kung nag-med ako bagsak na ako unang sem pa lang." singit niya bago muling tumuloy sa pagre review sakin but before that kinolekta niya ang buhok ko sa isang gilid at hinawakan para hindi sagabal sa pagkain then he continued on reviewing me again. Ang isa niyang kamay nakahawak sa trans.
I kept on nodding my head habang ngumunguya, thankful he's here.
"Wala ka bang recit or exam?" I asked. Hindi siya sumagot, parang hindi ako narinig. I looked at my wrist watch, 30 minutes nalang next class ko na at first class na niya.
"Cane.."
"Hm?"
"May exam ka ba?"
"Yeah."
"Bakit di ka nag-aaral?"
"Naaral ko na kagabi."
"Lasing ka kagabi."
"Ako si superman."
I rolled my eyes bago pinunasan ang kamay ko ng tissue at kinuha ang reviewer ko sa kanya. "Pupuntahan ko na si Cy, pumunta ka na sa building niyo and study, okay?"
Tumango lamang siya. Tumayo na ako at inayos lahat ng pinagkainan bago itinapon sa maliit na basurahan. Pag lingon ko sa kanya, nakatayo na din siya habang nakatingin lamang sakin, parang may inaantay.
"What? Go na."
He heaved a sigh. "Kita tayo mamaya? May exam ka pa bukas?"
"Wala na."
"Kita tayo?"
"Akala ko di na tayo magkikita lagi?" my voice was flat, but I am just teasing him. He looks so cute.
And he looks so determined, "Do you want to skip class tomorrow?"
My face returned to its deadpanned state. Nakita kong napalagok siya at tumikhim, getting uncomfortable sa biglang pagbabago ng expression ko.
"Joke." He laughed awkwardly, "I'll go ahead, baby."
Tumalikod na siya at nag-simulang mag-lakad nang tawagin ko ulit ang pangalan niya. He turned so fast, expectant. Sobra ang pag pipigil kong hindi mapangiti. "Thanks."
Alam kong hindi yon ang gusto niyang marinig, hindi talaga siya pwedeng um-acting. He totally looked disappointed pero ngumiti pa din siya. "No worries, babe."
He put both his hand into his pockets before turning his back on me, walking.
"What time tomorrow?" I asked, making him stop.
I didn't bother hiding my smile nang humarap siya sakin. Mabilis siyang lumakad palapit and before I knew it, for the very freaking first time in forever, his lips sealed mine.
This wasn't our first kiss, ofcourse. But it was the very first time he made the freaking first move.
And it was enchanted.
**
Later that night, I called my mom. Hindi naman ako laging tumatawag sa kanila, first hindi ako sanay, second lagi silang busy. For some unknown reason, kinakabahan pa din akong tumawag sa parents ko. Actually, this is the very first time since high-school.
It didn't take three ring for her to pick-up the phone. [Honey?]
I cleared my throat. "Mom, hi.."
[Hello, darling. Is there a problem?]
Of course.. she knows hindi ako basta basta tatawag.. [Is Charlie alright?]
"Yes."
[Okay, so.. are you okay?]
I licked my lips as I gather all the courage and 'kapal face' I have inside. "Mom, it's my birthday next week."
[It is? Oh. Yeah! Yeah, silly me! Malilimutin na talaga ako.]
Actually.. she never remembered.. if it wasn't for Lola, her reminder. But that's okay. She's busy. I understand.
"Uh, yeah.. uh, can I.. can I ask for a favor?"
Geez, I hope gumana tong birthday card. I'm asking too freaking much. But, ngayon lang naman ako magre request sa kanila.
[What do you want, honey?]
"Can you talk to tita Carol? She has connections right?"
[And?]
"Gusto kong pumunta sa Amanpulo."
Biglang lumakas ang heartbeat ko. Eto kasi talaga ang first time na magpapaalam ako sa kanila since never naman nilang nalalaman ang ibang gala ko dahil wala din naman sila sa bahay mostly. It really felt so weird.
[Who are you with?]
Right.
"My boyfriend."
Then there's silence..
Hindi ako mapakali, baka magalit siya? "Mom?"
[Sweetheart, may boyfriend ka na?] her voice turned even softer. Like, para siyang nagiging emotional.
"Yes, po."
[Matagal na?]
"Wala pang isang taon, don't worry."
[May I know his name?]
"Si Hurricane po."
[Wait, honey.]
Then I heard noises.. I heard mom calling for her secretary, hindi ko alam gaano katagal akong nag-antay pero ang sunod na boses na narinig ko ay hindi na sa kanya.
[Nak?]
Oh no.
"Dad.."
[Sabe ko na si Hurricane e.]
I rolled my eyes as I heard my father's jolly voice. Sayang saya talaga siya sa balita.
[So, Amanpulo?]
"Can I?"
[Will you promise me something first?]
Ugh. "I know, dad. I won't."
[No. It's not what I meant.]
"What?"
[Be happy, nak. Madami kaming pag-kukulang ni Mommy, I'm very sorry. I wish kami ang una mong makakasama sa dream beach mo.]
A tear fell from my eyes. Biglaan. Parang may kumurot sa dibdib ko.
[Just be happy, okay? Enjoy Amanpulo. Ilang araw mo gusto?]
"Hanggang Saturday lang, Dad." I answered as I dried my eyes.
[Can we meet him after?]
"If you have time.."
[Your birthday's on Sunday. It's time to make time.]
"Thanks, Dad."
[I love you sweetheart, we love you so much.]
They're too emotional! Nahahawa tuloy ako. I immediately wiped my tears away as I smiled. Of course, I love them too. So much.