» i hope i'm doing these characters justice and there's just one more final chapter left after this one so stay tuned for that «
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They say that green is a colour that symbolises nature, spring, rebirth — for all the positive things associated with it, it could not make up for the heartbreak that followed for Lamees when she stared into Gunner's green eyes full of tears.
He had been released yesterday but his mother had insisted that he stay home and rest for at least 24 hours before going out and seeing people. But he had only one person that he wanted to desperately see.
Now he was staring at her, 24 hours later, and couldn't fantom any words and so they both stayed, looking at each other and wanting to say everything but the ugly part that was to come. It was Lamees who had run to him as soon as she had seen him and hugged him tight. Gunner, who had been surprised at her immediate reaction to touch him, stood there for brief seconds before leaning into the hug. He cherished this hug and hastily memorized this feeling into his mind, for he knew that there might never be anymore hugs between them.
They kept holding each other like that for a few minutes, not wanting to let go. Lamees, more tighter than Gunner, for she knew she would inevitably have to let go. She allowed herself this, this last embrace as she cried into his shoulder, wetting his jacket with her tears. He hugged her tighter still when he himself started to cry and his shoulders shook with the weight of what was to come.
They had both gone upto his apartment, where he had rented out a room for a few months, after moving out of his parents' home. The room wasn't big but he had it all to himself, and two other housemates who shared the apartment with him.
His mother kept coming over occasionally to check on his things and make sure the room was spotless and ready for when he came out and needed it.
Lamees had never seen it before and visited for lack of nerve and shyness that overcame her at the prospect of being in his room with him, alone. But now, she sat down on his bed, looking around and trying to imagine what his normal life looked like when he was in here. She wasn't shy today, just overcome with an unbearable sadness.
His room had one big window that overlooked the street and pavement outside, a brown closet in one corner with various shoes lying on the floor. There was also a spacious desk in front of the window, where a laptop and some books resided. She glimpsed a familiar cover and got up from the bed to take a closer look at the book. The book title shone up at her in a dark red sprawl 'Heartless' and she smiled. It was his first novel that she'd made him read when they'd both been in highschool. She wasn't aware that he had, in fact, loved it so much that he'd bought his own separate copy of it.
Gunner looked at her quietly, with his hands in his pockets as she looked around his room. He liked looking at her while she picked up books from his table and studied their covers. She seemed at home, a small smile playing on her lips, her hazel eyes curious and peeking at corners of his small little world. They could be like this forever and he wouldn't ask for anything more.
"Are you kidding me?" She said, sounding appalled, as she showed him what she found. It was his copy of Twilight, that was lying at the bottom of his book stack.
"Whoa, hey, before you jump to conclusions," he responded, defensively, "that was given to me by a friend who was teasing me for reading."
"Oh, really?" She folded her arms, her eyes squinting.
"Yeah."
"Then why didn't you just throw it away?"
"Because... I don't like the idea of throwing away literature, whatever kind it may be."
"This is not literature."
"Oh, wait a minute. Are you literature shameing now?"
She paused a moment at his question and gently placed his book back on his table, nodding. "Impressive. Touché."
They both smiled at each other for a moment as she leaned back against his table and he looked away, knowing what was coming. "I thought about it for a while," he said immediately, like he wanted to get it over with. "About us. And uh, I think that... that there's a possibility that you were right."
Lamees saw him pinching the edge of his nose for a second before he continued, and she looked away as well, blinking back the tears. Her eyes fell on his small trophy from back in highschool when he had won it at his game, where she'd seen him score the winning goal. That moment seemed miles away.
"I mean, there's always a chance that it might work out in the end but it's a slim shot. I don't want us to end up resenting each other either and realising only too late that we couldn't make it work... I think I'd rather... end this while still being in love with you, than... not anymore or any less."
Her heart ached when she heard him say this and she knew that this was just as hard for him too. She hadn't been looking at him but she'd heard his voice quiver, just the same. He was struggling to keep it together.
She looked at him then and saw him pinching his nose again, for a bit longer this time. He was about to cry and she was beside him in a second, sitting on the bed, and slid her fingers through his. He responded instantly, by closing his fingers around hers tightly, grateful for their warmth.
Gunner raised his eyes to hers and they mirrored the same pain, the same love.
"I love you," she whispered to him and it made his chest hurt, as he closed his eyes at her tender words and let them linger in his mind. He would remember them forever.
His green eyes opened once again as he smiled sadly at her through the tears rolling down his cheek. "I love you."
He seemed exhausted all of a sudden and closed his eyes and leaned his head on her shoulder. Lamees felt his warmth and steady breathing and they stayed like that for a long while, silent but with hands linked together, just existing in each other's presence for a bit.
He asked her if she'd had lunch yet and when she said that she hadn't, he got up to make her something to eat. She followed him into the apartment kitchen and watched as he pulled out a frozen pizza from the freezer and microwave it. She smiled, "Awww, a microwaveable meal for me? I feel so special."
He met her smile with his. "Only for you, milady," he said, ending the sentence with a quick wink. Lamees's smile widened and she shook her head as they both waited for the pizza to finish heating up. When it did, he pulled it out and went to find something else.
Gunner came back grinning, with a bag of flaming hot Cheetos and Lamees chuckled at the memory that resurfaced in her head. It was Gunner's special Cheeza, meaning pizza with crushed pieces of flaming hot Cheetos.
They both enjoyed it together in his room and Lamees thought that it tasted much better today than it had all those years back. She couldn't stop smiling when she saw Gunner wolfing down his fourth slice hungrily.
After lunch, they both became solemn again as she told Gunner that she should probably head back since it was getting late. He nodded, understanding, his green eyes anxious and restless. There were not many regrets between them that day since they'd talked about this and had time to consider this for a while. In a way, it was closure and they were both grateful for it along with their years of being together.
For her, he was the first person who she loved with all her heart. For him, she was the best person who he'd ever loved. The memories would always remain and comfort them when they needed them most, it would remind both of them that they were worthy of love; that they were worthy of the greatest love story. It wouldn't be the most popular story or the one poets quoted for all time but it was the one most special to them, the one closest and dearest to their hearts.
"After all, Romeo and Juliet ain't got nothing on us," Gunner said to her when she had just stepped out of the apartment. She turned around and a warm smile graced her face. "You're right. Goodbye, Gun."