You stood there letting the water soothe your muscles. You knew you should have gotten out of the shower earlier, but the water felt so good. You had your music on and were just enjoying your time feeling at ease for once. It had been a week since the whole Leshi situation, and you were currently in New Mexico. You had just finished a wendigo case. You could tell the boys were exhausted from non-stop hunting so you told them you would take the next couple days off. "You feeling alright y/n?" you chuckle to yourself remembering Deans' expression when he asked you that. The way his green eyes widened and the concern laced his voice. He is so perfect. If only he could see that in himself.
You and the boys planned to watch a movie in your motel room tonight to enjoy your official first night off. This caused you a little anxiety thinking about it. You had done movie nights and things like that with them before, but it was always to get your mind off of a case before the next or because it had been a long day and you had no leads, and usually you would still be researching while they enjoyed whatever movie they picked up. What if you were no good at relaxing? What if you didn't like the movie? Then your simple fears lead to others... "What if we don't find another case soon?" "What if I need to release some of my pent-up dark impulses?" "What if I lose control?" soon enough you were in a downward spiral. Your ease turned into utter self-destruction and you felt completely numb thinking about all the evil you had done In your life.
"Y/n" You hear someone say as the shower curtain opens.
"GOD DAMNIT DEAN" you yell trying to cover yourself. You felt his eyes roam your body, before he realized what he was doing. "Shit sorry y/n. Next time answer when I am yelling at you!" He says as he blushes and averts his eyes.
You turn off the shower and Dean hands you a towel, doing his best to not look at you.
You wrap yourself up in the small motel towel that barely covers the subjects (if you know what I mean) feeling the redness in your cheeks ever present, but clear your throat to signal he can turn around since he apparently was not leaving the room.
His face is still a little pink but not as much as it was, and you could tell he was trying his best not to roam your body once more. "What the hell?" You start.
"I knocked on the door. I yelled for you. Even when I came in and called out to you, you didn't answer. I was worried" He shouts back.
"Dean I am fine"
"Well I know that now" he says, lowering his voice staring into your eyes.
Only Dean Winchester could captivate you with just a look. You instantly calmed down.
After a minute of comfortable yet awkward silence you finally asked him to leave to which he just said "oh yeah sorry" and smirked slightly realizing once again that you were only in a towel.
Once he was out of the room you immediately let out a large breath to try and control your heart rate. You had NOT expected that to ever happen. You looked at yourself in the mirror. He must have noticed them.. all your scars. They were bold and just about everywhere. You had always been self-conscious about them. Even during your very few and far between one night stands men would always ask and point, and on occasion, one would even voice the thought everyone had. "They are ugly". You knew it was true but you remember the time you first heard it from someone else it completely crushed you. You have since learned to deal with that fact, but never really were one to have one night stands as often.
You quickly got dressed into your favorite sweatpants and a tank top, you were planning on being ready before the boys got back with the snacks and movie, but you had lost track of time and now were going to have to scramble to get your jacket without further stares at your scar ridden body, not to mention trying to avoid awkward situations with Dean for the rest of the night, and possibly Sam if he happened to be in the motel room when this occurred. You gave yourself a facepalm but decided to try and make the most of the nights still.
Upon opening the door you saw Sam setting up a pillow type fort by the couch and Dean was standing by your bed where your jacket was. You quickly rushed over and put it on, but you knew Dean was staring at the strange scars on your back as you did so.
"y/n I am-"
"Dean. It's okay. Can we forget it like it never happened?" You asked as a blush crept its way onto your cheeks. This was of course easier said than done (especially for Dean) but you hoped he would just agree and you could carry on with your night. He nodded.
"Okay, we got popcorn, beer, licorice, and (your favorite snack)" Sam says getting up and admiring his creative fort building skills.
"Sounds perfect," you said crawling under the many pillows he somehow found and stacked together.
Soon enough the boys had joined you and you all watched the movie. Gradually both Sam and Dean had moved closer to you but especially Dean. Your heart kept racing every time you realized Dean moved but you didn't say anything.
You tried to make the most of the night, but your mind kept wandering to what cases you might be missing, but you would have to shake it off and pull yourself back to the present.
By the time you were halfway into the third movie, Sam was asleep only leaving you and Dean up, but you were growing tired too. You tried to stay awake, fighting the evergrowing heaviness in your eyelids, but it was becoming difficult. You eventually felt yourself nodding off when you heard Dean ask "you tired?".
"Maybe a little after today," you said yawning. "What about you?"
"Maybe a little," he said chuckling at your cute yawn.
It was quiet as you both continued to watch the movie for a minute.
"You can lean on me if you want" Dean suddenly said.
You turned to give him a confused look. Did he just invite me to lean on him?
"You know if it is more comfortable." He said, you thought you saw a little blush color his cheeks but then he quickly said "nevermind" and turned his attention back to the TV.
You did the same, but his words kept echoing through your mind. He didn't want me closer to him, he was just being kind you told yourself. After a while though, you couldn't help but wonder if he would really mind if you did. Not only would it be more comfortable, but you also desperately wanted to be closer to him, so you decided to do it. You leaned on his shoulder. Normally you would do this while sitting on the bed or if you were tired while reading something next to him, but this was different.
As you started falling asleep you felt Dean's arm wrap around you pulling you closer and soon enough you were basically laying on his chest. His heartbeat and warmth lulled you to sleep quickly.
***Deans Pov***
I couldn't believe it. Y/n was practically sleeping in my arms. All night I had been watching her reactions to the movie. She was so beautiful and perfect with her dazzling smile and e/c eyes. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. When I saw that she was getting tired and I stupidly talked before I thought, I thought she would make a smart-ass remark and forget it, but instead, here we are only 20 minutes later with her head on my chest. It felt so precious. So pure. So perfect.
I know she had a bad past and has had her own struggles but she had become such an amazing person. Someone who sought forgiveness and decided to change her life to help people. She was my everything. Everything I couldn't have. She would never feel that way for someone like me.
***Your POV***
You woke up to a quiet room with Dean's arms wrapped around you. You looked at the TV to see the title screen of the last movie you had been watching. You moved slightly to get a better view of the situation you were in. Sam was sound asleep on the floor next to you and Dean was leaning against the couch holding you tight. Though you longed to stay in his comfortable arms, you knew that you struggled with nightmares, and didn't want to wake him up from a sudden toss or turn. You snuck your way out of his arms, turned off the TV, and went to bed. You thought about how close you and Dean were, and couldn't shake the thought of how good it felt. How natural. How right. But you knew he didn't think of you that way. You were best friends. He didn't see you that way.
***Time Skip***
You woke up with a start, as usual, from your nightmare. Sam and Dean always asked how you could get up so early and this was why. Sleep wasn't peaceful or truly restful. It was exhausting and painful due to the memories it would kindle.
You got up to see you had slept in later than usual. It was 8:27 am. You rubbed your eyes and quickly went into the bathroom to get dressed. You were unsure what today's 'day off' would bring but you wanted to make sure you were ready.
Once out of the bathroom you looked to the two sleeping men in the room. Both of them were still sleeping soundly and were so adorable! You snapped a photo of them both wrapped in blankets on the floor and giggled quietly to yourself as you saved it to your screen saver. This way you could see how long it took for them to notice.
You wrote a quick note to let the boys know you were going on a walk to get breakfast and that you would be back soon.
The dry morning air felt really nice. As you walked through the small desert town you saw small children already up playing on the sidewalks. You finally made your way into the coffee shop and got the usual from the past 4 days you had been here.
When you turned around with the drinks and food in hand you saw a figure walk past the store but didn't catch what they looked like. Normally, a person walking past a coffee shop wouldn't bother you, but for whatever reason this time it did.
As you walked out of the shop you looked in the direction the person was going, but didn't see anyone. Deciding it was probably nothing you turn back around to walk back to the motel. About a block away you feel like someone is watching you and turn around to see the same person from earlier walking behind you.
Deciding to not bring this persona back to an unsuspecting Sam and Dean you took a turn in the opposite direction until you reached an alleyway where you could wait for the person to catch up to you. Setting the food and drinks down on the ground you pulled out your knife and crouched down behind a garbage bin till the man was in sight. When they passed you grabbed their legs and pounced on top of them holding your blade to their neck.
"What are you doing here?" You ask still pressing the knife to the demon's neck.
"I was told to come tell you that there is a sale going on at Raphmosons in Mississippi" He says while stuttering.
"And?" you ask, rolling your eyes and getting off of the useless demon, obviously a lesser known grunt.
"And that's all I know" he says still shaking. He gets up with wide eyes, staring between you and the knife. "Please don't kill me Sparta"
You glare at him and clench your jaw to appear upset "Just go" you tell him and he quickly vanishes. You had a reputation to uphold and Oh, how you have missed the fear you could strick into demons. You knew that someone must have sent him from your inner circles about your inquiry about the ingredients. It had been a while since you had been to a place like Raphmosons, but you were not going to bring Sam and Dean there.
You grabbed the food you had left beside you and walked back to the motel. Upon opening the door you saw that both Sam and Dean were awake watching some cartoon on the couch. "Breakfast is ready," you say walking over with the coffees. Both of them eagerly grab them and take the bag of pastries you had bought out of your hands.
After drinking most of your coffee and watching them eat Dean finally speaks up "So what's the plan for the day?"
Both you and Dean turn to look at Sam, but he just shrugs and takes another Sip of his coffee.
"Okay, y/n any ideas for your first day off ever?" Dean asks looking at you with his mouth full. You couldn't help but give him a large smile because of how captivating he was. How he could be so grown up and protective and yet so innocent and childish. It was such an amazing quality that always kept you wanting more. Not to mention his thousands of freckles that graced his cheeks and his charming complexion. Don't get me started on his eyes. He was beyond handsome.
"Actually.." you say, thinking this was the best time to bring it up. "I have a lead on one of the ingredients"
Sam and Dean both turn to you like you had said something crazy.
"A lead?" Dean asks. "When did you have time to find a lead?"
"Y/n this was supposed to be a zero workday," Sam says laughing a little. "I now understand what Bobby means when he says you are going to run yourself into the ground"
You just shrug. It sounds about right.
"Can it wait?" Sam asks looking at you with a small smile, he was pulling his puppy dog eyes and you wished you could give in, but this was important and you were unsure how long the intel was good for.
"I'm sorry but it is urgent. I am fine to go on my own. It wouldn't be the first time and then when I get back we can have our day off" you try, but Sam just looks disappointed.
"Y/n," Dean says staring at you. "You are not doing this alone. We can do this together"
"Dean-" you start but he finishes.
"Y/n you are not doing this alone, you hear me" he says sternly "So where are we going?"