Kabanata 23
Maybe it's true that once trust is broken, it'll never be the same again. Mahirap ibalik ang tiwala lalo na kapag nasira and I don't know, sinabi ko naman na sa sarili ko noong makikinig ako kung sakaling ganito but the courage I have slowly vanished while remembering the scene I saw.
I am thankful he taught me how to commute to the hospital at hindi ko na maaabala ang pagkikita nilang dalawa. Maybe they have a date today, nakikipagsiksikan na naman siguro ako.
Pikit ang mata at sapo ko ang mukha ko habang nasa biyahe.
Nawala na sa isip ko pero ngayong nakita kong muli si Yui at Atlas na magkasama ay muling bumalik sa akin ang mga ala-ala sa Cagayan. She said they'll get married after studying and now...maybe ay itutuloy nila?
How could I forget that?
I remembered the reasons why we went away, the reasons why we chose to leave our hometown.
Naalala ko si Nanay at ang Tatay ni Atlas, I remembered how Atlas' mother got hospitalized after she found out about my mother.
I don't want to be like that. Ayaw kong makasira ng relasyon. Ayokong makapanakit ng ibang tao para sa nasabing pagmamahal na 'to.
Ayoko na ring masaktan, I am afraid to risk my health. I want to take care of myself because I have no one but me...marami pa akong pangarap para sa amin ni Nanay, ni hindi pa nga ako lisensyadong doktor.
If I invest to much in this wrong love and got hurt in the end, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin.
Mabilis lang ang naging byahe ko patungo sa ospital. My eyes are blood shot because of my tears, napapansin ko nga ang tingin sa akin ng mga pasahero ng jeep pero hindi sila nagsalita at tahimik lang akong tinignan.
When I reached the hospital, I went immediately to the restroom to fix myself. Kitang-kita ko ang mata ko sa salamin at habang nakatitig sa repleksyon ay bumabalik sa akin ang ang itsura ng batang Lia, in her 18th birthday, the person she wished to come didn't and it left her young heart a small yet long lasting scar.
I remembered how my young self cried in the bathroom, touching her chest so she could breath. The young Lia who was so fascinated that her long time crush noticed her and soon told her he liked her too pero sa huli ay laro lang pala.
Lumapit lang pala para maghiganti sa mga bagay na hindi ko rin ginusto at alam.
Naghilamos ako para kahit papaano'y mapagtakpan ang pag-iyak, pagkatapos kong mag-powder at suklay ay kinuha ko ang phone nang maramdamang nagba-vibrate sa bulsa ko.
Sir Alex (LBG) calling...
My forehead creased. Why is the company suddenly calling?
Tumikhim ako at bumuntonghininga bago dinala ang phone sa tainga ko bago sagutin ang tawag.
"Hello—"
"Lia, where are you?" I froze when I heard that familiar voice.
"Sir Alex—"
"Tita Marichu said you went out to see me, nasaan ka na? I'm still here and I couldn't see you..." he said frustratedly and I gulped, realizing who this is.
Muli kong naramdaman ang pagdagan sa puso ko nang maalala ang nakita ko kanina pagkalabas.
"Are you alright? Nasa ospital ka na ba?" he heaved a sigh. "Lia, are you okay? I'm worried—"
"Nasa ospital na ako, Doc." I managed to say despite the pain I'm feeling inside my chest.
"What? A-alright," I heard him stopped a bit then sighed. "Are you okay? H-hindi mo ako inantay, sabi ko sabay tayo."
"Sorry, Doc." I said stiffly. "I have work to do, kailangan kong mag-ayos ng mga papers ngayon."
"I understand," I heard something on his voice. "P-pero...sa sunod ba pwedeng—"
"Sorry, Doc." I said. "You shouldn't waste your time on me."
"It's Atlas, Lia. Call me Atlas." He sighed. "I thought we talked about this last night?"
"Talk about what?" hinawi ko ang buhok ko at lumabas ng banyo. "You're a resident here and it's just right to call you Doc—"
"Do we have a problem, Amalia?" I heard him asked seriously. "Maayos naman na tayong magkausap kagabi...I visited you earlier and you agreed to meet—"
"Well, I find it unnecessary now, Doc, mukhang abala ka sa bisita. Ayaw ko namang makaabala." I said coldly but I know it sounded so bitter.
Natahimik siya at mapait na akong napangiti habang nagtutungo sa elevator.
"Lia, I-I didn't know she'll come, wala na—"
"I'll go, Doc." I said and turned the call off.
I reached the correct floor feeling nothing but pain, I tried shrugging it off but I couldn't kaya nang may sumalubong sa akin at bumati ay tipid ang naging ngiti ko at tumango na lang.
"Good morning, Dra. Lia!" masayang bati sa akin ng isa sa doktor sa ospital at napangiti ako roon.
It's really motivating hearing the veterans and licensed one calling interns like me Dra. kahit hindi pa.
"Magandang umaga po, Dra." I smiled softly at her. "Nakita niyo po ba si Dr. Sean?"
"Oh, nasa clinic." She said and I nodded, thanking her. Nag-in muna ako bago nagtungo sa opisina ni Doc bitbit ang paper bag na bigay ni Tita Marichu.
Magkakilala pala silang dalawa?
"Come in," I heard the voice after I knocked kaya tinulak ko ang pintuan at pumasok.
I saw Doc engrossed of what he's doing, may binabasa siya sa chart kaya tumikhim ako at nagsalita.
"Good morning, Doc." I greeted.
He lifted his face, nakita kong nanlaki ang mata niya nang makita ako pero kaagad na ngumiti.
"Magandang umaga, Dra. Lia." He smiled at me. "Kumusta, napadaan ka?"
"Uh..." I lifted the paper bag and he gasped a bit and laughed.
"Oh, I left this, who gave you this?" he asked.
"Uh, sa may unit po, si Tita Marichu?" I answered and his eyes widen a bit and slowly nodded.
"I see," he answered and took it from me before offering me a seat. "How is she? Is she good?"
Nagtaka ako sa kanyang tanong pero ngumiti at tumango, naupo rin sa inilalahad na upuan. Bumalik siya sa swivel at tumango ako.
"Yes po, she toured me around." I told him and he nodded, smiling, inayos niya ang salamin niya at pinagmasdan ako.
"You...like her?" he asked and I nodded.
"Yes po, Doc." I answered. "Mabait po siya sa akin, she's humble too, nalaman kong asawa pala siya ng may-ari ng building, nagulat po ako. Magkakilala po pala kayo ni Tita Marichu?"
He stared at me and I felt comfortable when he smiled in a soft way and nodded.
"She's actually my wife, Lia." He smiled and my eyes widen, napatakip pa ako sa bibig ko sa gulat.
Oh my God! Alegre! They have the same surname!
"P-po? Sorry, Doc! I didn't—" he suddenly laughed, namula ako sa hiya roon pero umiling lang siya at kinumpas ang kanyang kamay sa akin.
"Oh no, Lia. It's okay." He chuckled at kinagat ko ang labi ko, nahihiya.
"Pasensya na, Doc." I said. "Nakakahiya tuloy..."
"No, it's okay." He chuckled again and nodded at me. "I'm glad you two get along."
"Mabait po siya, she even told me na if may problema o kailangan ako, I can contact her." I told him and he smiled, looking so pleased and happy.
"That's good, I'm happy you met her." He said. "I have kids too, Lia, halos kasing-edad mo lang sila."
"Talaga po?" I asked and he nodded.
"One is a doctor here too, hindi mo pa siguro nakikita kasi madalas ay nasa convention. I hope you'll meet them too."
"Sure po, I hope to meet them." I told him and he smiled, staring at my face again.
"I'm happy you grew up a strong woman," he suddenly said.
"Po?" I asked and he cleared his throat and spoke.
"I saw from your data, your mother died while you're studying in med school?" he asked and I nodded, remembering my mother. Medyo malungkot ay alam kong masaya naman na ang Nanay ngayon at nasa paligid lang, binabantayan ako.
"Yes po," I answered. "Heart problem, may Lolo at Lola pa po ako sa probinsya tapos wala na akong Tatay."
I saw him stopped for a while, he nodded and smiled a bit.
"Can I ask why?" he asked, tinatantya pa ako kaya tumango ako.
"Hindi ko po alam ang buong kwento pero nasabi sa akin ni Nanay na pinagbubuntis pa lang niya ako ay wala ang Tatay, iniwan kami." I felt a bit down telling it to him. "I haven't seen him or even knew his name."
Silence filled us after that, nakatitig lang siya sa akin kaya ngumiti ako.
"It's okay, Doc. Matagal naman na rin po iyon. Nanay did her best to raise me, she did a great job at siya na po ang tumayo kong Nanay at Tatay." I told him.
I saw his eyes soften, may napansin ako roon na hindi ko mapangalanan.
"Perhaps, do you hate your father?" he asked and it never occurred to me, saglit akong napaisip pero nagkibit-balikat.
"Hindi ko po alam, I'm thinking if I could hate someone I don't even know or what. Hindi ko na rin naman pong masyadong naisip kasi masaya na ako kay Nanay. Nga lang, minsan lang po naiisip ko kung nasaan siya no'ng kailangan ko siya." I said, trying to smile but ended up being quite emotional.
"No'ng nawala po ang Nanay, inisip ko...bakit niya kami iniwan para sa iba." I said and sighed. "But I got over it, malaki akong napaayos ni Nanay and if I'm mad at him? Hindi ko pa po masabi talaga dahil hindi ko pa siya kilala."
Natahimik siya saglit at napatitig sa akin bago nagsalita.
"You're a strong woman, Amalia. You're very brave." He smiled at me. "I know, wherever your mother might be, kung nasaan man ang Tatay mo, I know they're proud of you."
It touched my heart, napangiti ako roon at tumango.
"I hope so too, Doc."
"They are, trust me..." he said genuinely.
After a few minutes talking to Dr. Sean, I felt relaxed and comfortable. Kinumusta niya ang unit ko at kung komportable ako. He even told me about a volunteer work, pina-finalize pa ang details at gusto niya akong sumama dahil maganda raw sa credentials ko ito kaya kaagad akong um-oo.
It always warms my heart doing volunteer work, nakakatuwang matulungan ang mga taong hindi abot ng medikal na tulong. It always makes me happy seeing their smiles and hearing their gratitude to us everytime, nakakawala ng pagod.
"Mauna na ako, Doc." I smiled and waved.
"Sige, Dra. Thank you for this." He smiled and pointed the paper bag. "Have a great day ahead! Kumain ka sa tamang oras, okay?"
"Yes po, maraming salamat. Have a good day din."
Hinatid ako ni Doc hanggang palabas ng clinic niya at kumaway ako bago tumalikod sa kanya. Nakasalubong ko si Nurse Lyka na malamig pa ang tingin sa akin.
"Good morning, Nurse." I greeted and she stared at me briefly then glanced behind me.
"Saan ka galing?" she asked.
"Ah, may pinadala lang kay Dr. Sean." I told her and her lips lifted for a smirk, chuckling a bit.
"You really think everything is easy, huh? Using Atlas to get past your internship and now, the direc—"
"Excuse me?" putol ko sa kanya, seryoso na. Halos magkasingtangkad lang kaming dalawa kaya pantay lang ang tingin namin.
"I know what you are trying to do, Miss Argueles." She raised her brow. "You're flirting with Atlas which is a resident doctor to what? So he could go easy on you? For high grades? And now, si Dr. Sean naman? Para saan?"
"I'm sorry but what are you saying?" I asked. "First of all, may ibinigay lang ako kay Doc, and I'm not flirting—"
"You weren't the only who tried that, marami na and guess what, ni isa ay walang nagtagumpay." She smirked at me. "And I'm sorry to say, Miss Argueles but Atlas and I...we're together now."
I felt the painful pang inside my chest but I stared at her coldly and chuckled lowly.
"Oh, that's too bad, Nurse." I said. "I just saw your boyfriend kissing another woman earlier."
She froze, I saw how her eyes widen.
"W-what are you saying?!" she hissed. "Stop lying, alam kong gusto mo lang kaming masira—"
"I wouldn't waste my time destroying unimportant people, Nurse." Hindi na ako nakapagtimpi at nasabi na iyon.
"Y-you..." her voice shook and I just flashed a small smile and nodded.
"Excuse me, Nurse. I have important things to do." I said timidly and left her there, unmoving.
I sighed when I got away from her, malakas ang kalabog ng puso ko kaya hinawakan ko ang dibdib ko para kumalma. I am not used to saying things like that but she's too much. Hindi bawat pagkakataon ay hahayaan ko lang ang ibang taong pagsalitaan ako ng ganoon.
Si Nanay nga, ni minsan ay hindi ako minaliit at pinagsalitaan ng ganoon kaya ano ang Karapatan niyang isipan ako ng masama?
I heaved a deep sigh, fixed my hair and walked towards the station where my co-interns are but stopped when I saw the man resting his elbow on the counter talking to the my co-intern.
"Uy, Lia, nand'yan ka na pala. Good morning!" Laurence smiled brightly, waving at me.
Nakita kong napalingon si Atlas sa akin, mabilis na napaayos ng tayo at nagkatinginan kaming dalawa pero mabilis akong nag-iwas at bumaling kay Laurence bago ngumiti.
"Good morning," I smiled back. Pumasok ako sa may station at bumaling kay Atlas na sinusundan ako ng tingin. "Good morning, Doc." I said formally.
"Ah, Lia, kanina ka pa pala hinahanap ni Doc Louis." Ani Laurence at tinuro si Atlas na nakatayo lang doon, suot ang isang kulay navy blue na dress shirt at doctor's coat.
His mouth is slightly parted and looking at him, I can feel the aching inside my chest. Napasulyap ako sa mapupulang labi niya at biglang sumagi sa utak ko ang nakita kanina. I remembered how Yui encircled her arms on his nape and pulled him closer.
"Yes po, Doc?" I asked formally.
"Lia," he called and gulped a bit, hesitating but looking so persistent. "Can I...talk to you?"
"Sure po, p'wede niyo naman na po sabihin dito." I said.
"I mean, privately." He said, staring at me kaya natigilan na ako.
I slowly glanced at Laurence and saw him fixing the papers kaya tumikhim ako at tumango.
"Alright po," I said, left my bag inside the station before going out to talk to him.
Nagkatinginan kami, I saw him licked his lower lip and motioned me the way. "After you." He said and I nodded.
Naglakad akong pauna at kasunod siya, may iilang pasyente o doktor kaming nakakasalubong na bumabati na binabati rin namin pabalik.
Nang nasa may dulong parte na kami ng hallway ay may humawak sa pulsuhan ko kaya napabaling ako sa kanya.
"Here," he said and pulled me softly towards the emergency exit and closed the door behind us.
"Lia..." he started when we were left alone in the exit, sa may gilid namin ay ang mga hagdan pataas at pababa.
"What?" I asked, staring at his face.
I saw frustration his eyes, mula sa aking pulsuhan ay bumaba ang kamay niya sa palad ko at marahang hinaplos.
"Lia, that was nothing..." he started, staring at me. "I didn't know Yui would come—"
"I'm not interested in that part of your life, Atlas." I said. "Wala na akong pakialam doon, buhay mo iyon—"
"You know you're my life, Amalia!" he gasped. "Listen to me..."
"Para saan pa, Atlas?" I hissed and pulled my hand from his grip pero hindi niya ako pinakawalan at marahan akong hinawakan at idiniin sa pader.
"Lia, baby, come on..." he sighed. "Let's talk."
"Buhay mo iyan, Atlas. I don't care kung anong gagawin niyo ni Yui—"
"But I do care of what you think, Lia!" he said, "if you could've just let me explain my side..."
I closed my eyes tightly, gusto sanang muling kumawala sa hawak niya pero pinirmi niya lang ako. I felt the cold wall behind my back, bumilis ang aking paghinga, lalo na no'ng idinikit niya ang ulo sa aking balikat.
"Just...listen to me." He whispered painfully.
Malalim lang akong huminga at suminghap. Naramdaman ko ang hawak niya sa aking baywang at mas ibinaon niya ang mukha sa balikat ko.
"Please, baby..." he said gently.
Nangilid ang luha ko, kasabay ng masakit na pakiramdam sa puso ko.
"T-then explain..." I said and felt something wet on my cheek. Mabilis akong napakurap at suminghap.
He moved away from me, I saw how his eyes mirrored mine. Inabot niya ang pisngi ko pero mabilis akong nag-iwas at tumikhim, hinawi na ang sariling luha.
"Explain," I said and stared at his eyes.
His mouth parted a bit while looking at my eyes, nanghihina ako habang nakatingin sa kanya pero pilit kong nilakasan ang loob para hindi maging ganoon at matapang na nag-antay ng kanyang sagot.
He heaved a deep breath and nodded, umayos ng tayo at tumitig sa akin.
"I waited for you earlier, you can even ask Tita Marichu about it." He started. "I went out and I got a call from an unknown number, here..." he lifted his hand, showing me his phone from his pocket and checked his call logs.
May nakita akong numero doon pero walang pangalan.
"And I answered it and it was Yui, she said she's outside, waiting for me. I don't know how she found out where I'm staying since I cut ties with her years ago."
He cut ties with her? Akala ko ba ikakasal sila...
"Nagpakita ako kasi baka manggulo, my family cut ties with her ever since she said something to my mother and it caused her anxiety and stress. She was my friend but she did something and it caused me my Mom's health and you..." he stared at me, nangunot ang noo ko at inantay ang mga susunod niyang sasabihin.
"I saw her and talked to her, asking how did she find me and what does she need and suddenly...she moved closer and..." and sighed, moved closer to me kaya muli akong dumikit sa pader at lumayo.
I saw how pain flashed on his eyes but didn't touch me, tumungo siya at sinuklay ang buhok.
"She kissed me, Lia." He said, "but I pushed her immediately, I don't know if you saw it but I swear...I swear I didn't even touch her, I swear to you I didn't want to kiss her."
"Why not?" I asked him. "She told me years ago that you two would get married."
"What?" his forehead creased, tumitig siya sa akin at nang makitang seryoso ako ay bahagyang nanlaki ang mata. "What the hell, she told you that?!"
"Oo," malamig kong sabi.
"It's a lie, I never—"
"She told me everything about your plans, Atlas, kaya stop fooling me!"
"That wasn't true, Amalia! I didn't fool you! I never..." he pulled his hair. "Fuck, I didn't lie to you, hindi kita niloko!"
"Really?" tears started falling on my cheek again the moment memories from the past came back. "Y-you know I was in love with you, Montezides, kaya mabilis akong naniniwala sa'yo! You told me you liked me for a long time yet I found out you are all fooling me! Kayo ni Heart!"
"What?" his forehead creased. "Paanong nasama si Heart—"
"She befriended me so she could help you hurt me!" I exclaimed and sniffed, nakita ko ang pagkabigla sa kanya sa sinabi ko pero ayokong maniwala roon sa emosyong ipinapakita niya.
"Y-you knew about my mother and your father and y-you...you hurt me so you could have your selfish revenge!" I hissed angrily, sumisinghap na. "M-minahal kita, Atlas! K-kahit bata pa tayo no'n naniwala ako sa'yo k-kasi gustong-gusto kita but you fooled me!"
"L-Lia..." I saw his bloodshot eyes, "it wasn't true, I didn't—"
"Y-you hurt me!" I exclaimed, ang pigil na luha ay walang pakundangan ng bumuhos. "I-I loved you but you played with me!"
"Lia—" he tried touching me but I pushed him, crying.
Sa panghihina ay napaupo ako sa lapag at magkasama ang hiya at sakit na nakikita niya akong mahinang-mahina na sa kanyang harap. I covered my face with my palm and sobbed, nanginginig ang balikat ko at mayamaya pa'y naramdaman ko ang mainit na brasong yumakap sa akin.
I lifted my hand, tried pushing him away but he was too quick and caught me, pinaghahampas ko na siya pero masyado siyang malakas na hindi man lang natinag at walang tigil sa pagyakap sa akin.
"Shh...baby..." he whispered in my ear while I remained sobbing.
"Y-you fooled me..." I whispered weakly, "I-I loved you but—"
"That isn't true," I felt him kissed my hair, mas niyakap ako. "I never loved anyone but you."
"L-liar..." I whispered. "P-pinagkatiwalaan kita p-pero..." mas suminghap ako. "P-pero sinaktan mo ako..."
Ang mga hikbi ko at mga marahang bulong niya ang naging ingay sa tahimik na lugar, I punched his chest while letting my tears fall down my cheek, mas suminghap ako.
"I'm sorry for hurting you..." he whispered, still hugging me. "I'm so sorry, Lia...I'm so sorry..."
"I-I hate you..." I whispered and tried pushing him pero hindi ko magawa-gawa.
"N-no..." he caught my eyes and I saw the fear etched on it. "Y-you don't, right? Y-you're lying, right?"
"I hate you..." I said while staring at his eyes and I almost broke down when I saw tears fell on his cheek too, shaking his head.
"N-no...you don't..." it was as if he's telling it to his self. "You don't hate me."
Marahang inabot niya ang pisngi ko para punasan ang mga luha ko habang nakasalampak lang ako sa lapag, I wanted to move away but I was too weak to even do that.
"I-I love you, Lia." He said and stared at me pero mabilis lang ako nag-iwas ng tingin at tumitig sa lapag. I can still feel his warmth and it made me missed him more.
Gusto ko siyang yakapin ng napakahigpit pero ayaw ng utak ko, ayaw nang sumugal ulit sa takot na muling masaktan. Natatakot na sa pagkakataong ito ay hindi na muling makatayo sa pagkakadapa.
"K-kausapin natin si Heart," he whispered and slowly took my hand, gusto kong hilahin ito palayo sa kanya pero wala na akong lakas.
I saw how he brought my hand on his lips, kissing my knuckles, touching my wrist.
"Give me a chance, Lia. I have a lot of things to say to you. M-marami pa akong ipapaliwanag sa'yo." I just stared at him and I saw another tear fell on his cheek at nakita ko kung paano niya marahas na hawiin iyon. "P-please, I beg you...mahal na mahal kita."
I lowered my head bit my lip. "H-hindi ko alam..." I whispered.
I suddenly felt the pain on my chest, napahawak ako roon at napapikit.
"Lia?" I heard his panic. "Amalia, are you..."
Huminga ako ng malalim, inabot naman niya ang braso ko at hinanap ang mga mata ko pero mabilis akong nakaiwas.
"D-does your chest hurt?" he asked worriedly, "I-I'll take you to the clinic—"
"U-uuwi na ako..." I said and slowly glanced at his eyes.
"B-but..."
"A-ayos lang..." I said, controlling my breathing, trying my best to relax. "M-makikisuyo lang sana ako kung p'wedeng pasabing uuwi muna ako?"
"A-alright..." he nodded and touched my chin, nagkatinginan kami at nakita ko ang pag-aalala sa kanyang mata. "Stay here, ihahatid kita."
Hindi na ako muli pang nagreklamo at hinayaan na siya, habang inaantay ay nanatili akong nakaupo sa lapag, sapo ang dibdib ko at dinama ang sakit na unti-unti ring nawala pagkaraan.
I was thankful when it disappeared after a few moments and saw Atlas went back to me, hawak na niya ang bag ko. He touched my arm, softly lifted me up and weakly, I held him for support too.
Hindi na kami dumaan sa may station nang umalis at dumiretso na sa elevator pababa, sinabi niya'y dumiretso siya kay Dr. Sean para magpaalam tungkol sa akin at mabilis naman daw itong pumayag, gusto pa raw sana kumustahin ako at sumama pero sinabi niyang gusto ko nang makauwi kaagad.
We rode his car on our way home, humawak siya sa akin at inalalayan niya ako papuntang elevator. We were both silent but I noticed him staring at me from time to time, pagkalabas pa namin ng elevator ay nakita ko si Heart na kalalabas pa lamang ng kwarto niya.
She glanced at the elevator and I saw how her eyes widen when she saw us.
"W-what happened?" she asked, mabilis na tumakbo at lumapit. Humawak siya sa braso ko kaya ngumiti ako.
"Ayos lang ako," I flashed a small smile.
"What happened?" she asked eagerly and glanced at the man beside me. "Boplaks, anong nangyari? Maaga pa, ah, bakit..."
"Medyo...medyo sumakit lang ang dibdib ko." I told her and her eyes widen, umawang ang labi niya para magsalita pero inunahan ko na siya. "But I'm alright, ayos na ako, kailangan ko lang na magpahinga."
She nodded, understanding me.
Hawak niya ang braso ko habang naglalakad kami patungo sa pintuan ko, Atlas followed us, hawak niya pa rin ang bag ko. I put on my passcode and glanced at them.
I saw their worried eyes kaya ngumiti ako.
"I'm okay, guys, don't worry." I said and slowly took my bag from Atlas who remained staring at me like I'd fade in front of him. "Maraming salamat, magpapahinga lang ako. Pakisabi naman na babawi ako bukas—"
"No, you rest for days." Ani Atlas kaya natigilan ako. Heart nodded and touched my wrist.
"Yes, I agree. Kahit boplaks itong pinsan ko, minsan agree naman ako." Aniya kaya napangiti ako.
"Nakakahiya kasi," I said. "Baka sabihin nila—"
"Nah, don't worry, health is wealth. I know Doc would understand you." She said. "You should really rest."
"Alright, I'll take a day off tomorrow too." I said and glanced at them. "Thank you, Heart...Atlas."'
Heart smiled genuinely and nodded, si Atlas naman ay nanatiling nakatitig sa akin kaya ngumiti ako sa kanya.
"Salamat sa paghatid, Doc." I said and slowly, he nodded.
I saw Heart stared at my eyes and back to Atlas and her lips protruded, umaangat ang labi.
"Uh-huh! Tama ba ang sinasabi ng tarot card ko na umiyak kayong dalawa—"
"N-no!" halos magkapanabay na singhap namin ni Atlas at napangisi na roon si Heart bago bumaling sa pinsan. "Nice one, bobo, iyakin ka talaga ano—"
Heart's phone rang, napatalon pa siya roon at ngumiwi at napailing.
"Balikan ko kayo," she smirked. "Kayo, ah?"
"W-we didn't..." umiling na ako pero mukhang 'di naman naniwala si Heart at ngumisi.
"Wala, obvious kayo, Amalas..." she giggled. Nag-excuse kaya naiwan kaming dalawa ni Atlas.
Our eyes met and I saw him moved closer, halos magwala na naman ang puso ko nang i-angat niya ang kamay ko at hinagkan ang likod ng palad habang nakatitig sa akin.
"Rest, okay?" he muttered and I slowly nodded.
"Y-yes, salamat..." he hesitantly lowered my hand and stared at my eyes, mabilis akong nag-iwas at hinawakan ng mahigpit ang bag.
"S-sige, papahinga na ako. Maraming salamat ulit." I said and he nodded, watching me enter the door and before I closed it, I saw the lone expression on his eyes while watching me closing the door in front of him.
Buong araw ay nagpahinga lang ako pero hindi ko rin napigilan ang pag-iyak habang nakatulala kung saan. I received a lunch from him and it made me cry more.
Gusto kong pagbigyan ang sarili ko pero mas nangingibabaw ang takot sa akin. Natatakot na muling umasa at masaktan sa huli.
Lumabas ako sa terrace para makalanghap ng malamig na hangin, I lifted my head and glanced at the dark sky and saw the small stars escaping from the darkness, while looking at it, I realized na kahit mukhang impossible...may mga kaunting liwanag pa rin pa lang gustong kumawala sa dilim.
Na hindi lang dilim ang naroon dahil kahit hindi masyadong kita, may liwanag na nakapaligid dito, depende na lang kung hahanapin mo iyon o iignorahin.
Lumingon ako sa kabilang parte at nakita ang walang taong terrace ni Atlas. Kahit wala siya at iba ang nagbigay, alam kong siya ang nagpadala ng pagkain ko kanina.
I remembered what he told me, it feels so genuine when he told me he loves me and Yui is just lying pero natatakot pa rin talaga ako. I even thought of Nurse Lyka and what she told me.
Ang dami namang babaeng nitong Montezides na ito at lahat sila girlfriend, or at least, they're claiming that they are.
Did Atlas even liked...or love them?
Ako kaya? Totoong mahal niya? Noon hanggang ngayon?
From his empty terrace, I lifted my head to the sky and my eyes widen when I saw a falling star and I immediately thought of something.
Sabi nila kapag may nakita kang falling star, humiling ka at matutupad.
I touched my chest and felt my beating heart, I closed my eyes and silently muttered my wishes.
Falling star, please give me the courage to listen and forgive. Please give me a sign if I should take a risk even if's scary and uncertain. Please give me a sign if I should open my fragile yet brave heart to love again.
Slowly, I opened my eyes and my heart immediately skipped a beat when I met Atlas' eyes staring intently at me.
Is this...a sign?