"Why are you looking at me like I'm a monkey? Oh, sure, you're all saints!" -Stromae, Formidable
IT TAKES ME A COUPLE OF SECONDS TO PROCESS Ford's text, but when I do, I almost cry in relief.
Ava: Holy shit holy shit Ford?????
Ava: I swear to God answer me. Are you okay??? Jesus I can't believe you actually replied oh my god i knew you weren't dead i knew it knew it knew it
I wait for two minutes, then five. He doesn't reply, and although the hand holding my phone is literally shaking- no, both my hands, more like my whole body- I don't worry. Because he replied. Unless this is a sick, cruel twisted joke, he replied. Which means he's alive. Somewhere, Ford is living and breathing and blinking and thinking and God I knew it.
I don't know exactly how long I spend on my bed, cross-legged, waiting for Ford's reply. Almost an hour later, I still haven't moved, completely taken over by shock and disbelief. After that begins to subside, though, fear settles in. It's been an hour, and Ford still hasn't replied. Was that really him? Had that text even been real? I check again, and just as before, the text is there in real, put together letters on my phone screen.
Ava: Ford?? Please answer me before I have a heart attack
Another twenty minutes, though, and Ford still doesn't answer. So, this time I dial his number. My heart beats against my chest when his phone starts ringing, but a brick settles in my stomach when it goes straight to voicemail. His phone is on though. What could that mean? I let out a shuddering breath, trying to keep myself under control.
A knock on my door startles me. I say, "Come in," maybe a little too quickly, because the look my mother gives me when she comes in is a little concerned.
"You alright?" she asks me, taking a seat next to me on my bed. I try to keep myself under control knowing if I say anything out loud, I'll break down crying. I debate for a second telling my mom about Ford, but decide against it.
"I'm okay," I manage.
My mom's not convinced, but doesn't push. "Do you need something?"
For a second I want to tell her yeah, I need her to leave me alone, but stop at the look on her face. She's just worried about me. I give her a small smile, "Tea would be nice."
She kisses the top of my head, "Sure. Dad should be home soon, you should say hi. He's been worried about how distant you've been lately.
"Yeah, sure."
My mother gets the message and with one more kiss on my forehead, gets up to leave. In the span of the next three hours, I only get up to go get my tea and to greet my dad, but besides that, I stay curled up in my room, staring at my phone until it runs out of battery from being on for so long. Then, I get my charger, plug in my phone and stare at it some more.
I give up somewhere around midnight. My eyes are burning from staring at the screen for so long. Eventually, I end up staring at the ceiling, phone still in my hand, waiting for the vibration signalling a text. I'm not even a little bit tired, so when one o'clock rolls around, I'm still waiting for a text.
I get one at 1:34.
Ford: Hi, sorry, I'm here.
I don't bother texting him back- I just call him. It rings once before going to voicemail.
Ford: I can't talk on the phone right now
I stare at the letters on the screen, trying to gather myself together enough to brink my shaking fingers to the screen.
Ava: Why not? Are you okay?
The reply doesn't come within seconds, which tears me apart slowly and excruciatingly until my phone finally beeps again.
Ford: Yeah
Ford: I mean...
Ford: Yeah, I'm okay
I stare at the three texts. He sounds unsure, which worries me. I almost want to call him again, because I'm still not even sure if this is him, because he's been missing for a month only leaving behind a bloody jewellery box and jacket and I just don't know what to think at this point.
Ava: Where are you?
Ford: Wherever you want me to be ;)
Ava: FORD WILSON. THIS ISN'T A JOKE. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE PAST MONTH??
Ford: Okay, jeez. I'm... I don't even know.
Ford: Listen, Ava, you can't tell anyone about this.
I stare at the screen in disbelief. I hesitate to answer, but Ford answers before I can, with a lengthy message.
Ford: I know that it's a lot to ask. Maybe I shouldn't have texted you. But after seeing what you texted me, it made me kind of guilty. And I'm feeling a lot of things right now, and I don't need to add even MORE guilt to it. Listen, I'm okay. I'm alive. That's all you need to know. You can't tell ANYONE that I texted you. As for as you or anyone else knows, I'm still missing. For all anyone knows, I might be dead. Ava, I'm begging you. If you tell ANYONE about this, it could cost my life.
It could cost my life. Oh, my God. Was someone after Ford? Where the hell was he? Why can't I tell anyone? Does he want people to think he's missing? Questions are running through my head at a hundred miles per hour, but I only think of one thing important enough to demand of him before anything else.
Ava: Only if YOU promise me one thing.
Ford: I can't come back, Ava.
Ava: That's not what I was going to ask.
Ford. Alright... shoot.
Ava: Don't stop texting me. I know it sounds stupid, but there hasn't been a trace of you in a MONTH. I thought you were dead. It tore me apart, I've been killing myself over this for a whole freaking month. You don't have to tell me what's going on, but just.. don't leave again. Please?
Ford doesn't reply.
Ava: Ford?
Ava: FORD.
I'm almost shaking in fear. Did he seriously just go and do the exact opposite of what I asked of him? I meant what I told him; I wouldn't be able to stand it if he just disappear again, it would break me. My heart shatters in relief when my phone beeps.
Ford: Sorry, had to handle something. Yeah, Ava, I promise.
I sink back against the mattress in relief. I let myself a couple of deep breaths. He's okay. It's okay.
Ava: Do you think we're friends?
Ford: Is that a trick question?
Ava: Everyone's saying I barely knew you. I know we didn't talk much, but... do you think I barely knew you?
Ford: I think you know me a lot better than you think you do.
Ava: That's cryptic
Ford: Is it?
Ford: Brb, something's going on, I'll text you in the morning.
Ava: Okay. Stay safe, I guess.
Ford doesn't reply.
x
I don't get a text from Ford in the morning. I'm constantly on high alert, waiting for the beep of my phone, but when I don't get one, I choose to actually continue living my life and go up to brush my teeth.
Jas comes over at one to work on a project. Ford still hasn't texted back. I want to tell her, I really do; I'm itching to tell someone. But I promised Ford something, and Ford promised me something, and I wouldn't want him breaking his promise, so I'm not going to break mine.
"This is stupid," Jas announces as she raids my fridge for juice. "Cumulative Assignments were a spawn of Satan, I'm telling you."
"So were exams," I say, tapping my pencil against my study notes. I know I should be concentrating on the material, but I can barely get myself to focus.
"Hey, have you talked to Lucas lately?" Jas asks.
"No. Why?"
"He just seems so down without Ford," Jas admits, finally grabbing the juice she wants and making her way back to the table.
"Why are you bringing up Ford?" I suddenly shoot at her.
Jas' eyebrows shoot up. "No reason, jeez."
"Do you know something?"
"No! God, Ava, at the rate you've been talking about, I thought you'd want to talk about him any opportunity you get."
I huff, trying to sound convincing as I say, "Well, I don't. Let's just focus on this project."
I'm lying, and Jas sees this, either by my sweating palms or my jumpy demeanour, but she doesn't say anything. I try to focus on the project, but the whole time, I'm focused on the phone in my pocket, seeming like it's burning a hole.
Ford still hasn't replied. Something in the back of my mind can't help but feel like something's wrong. More wrong than usual, that is.
x
OH MY GOD BEEN WAITING FOR THIS CHAPTER <3 so finally REALLY figured where I'm going with this story, and oh lord am i excited. i literally can NOT wait to write the next chapter. it'll prolly be long and very very IMPORTANT.
BUT OMFG LAST CHAPTER'S RESPONSE <3 I love you guys all so much! If you continue with that many comments and votes these chapters are gonna be coming at you super quick i promise :D I love you all so much, hope you enjoyed, DON'T FORGET TO COMMENT AND VOTE! xoxo