uncomfortable conversations
ATHENA WOULD ADMIT, SHE DIDN'T HANDLE ATTENTION WELL ANYMORE. She didn't like when people stared, and even if she started a conversation she'd be the first one to end it because she didn't want anyone to linger long enough to ask questions. And no matter what, she had a question of her own that haunted her.
Can they see it?
She used to walk around life completely uncaring of what people thought of her, but now it's all she could do but simply ask someone if they could see this dead, dying thing she had become.
She tucked her dark hair behind her ear, standing in front of her open locker and looking at her reflection in the magnetic mirror stuck to the metal door. She looked at her sharp features, examining them closely.
The way her brown eyes flickered around, never staying in one place for too long like some sort of hummingbird. Her nose was upturned at the end but it wasn't as straight as it used to be because of the reparative surgeries she'd had. Her lips were a natural berry shade of pink, but the scar that curved along her cheekbone gave her a ghostly-looking smile all the time. The dimple in her chin made her look shadowy, and she always wondered if it was something she got from her mom.
She was lucky to get just the one extremely noticeable scar after the accident, but she'd rather have none, and she didn't care if it made her sound ungrateful. It was bumpy in some places, pink from its freshness as she'd only gotten surgery in June, and the most she'd comprehended from the doctor was that scarring was inevitable because he dug a shard of glass out of her face. But it shouldn't matter, right? Because she survived. That's what they always said to her. She survived, so it doesn't matter what she lost in the meantime.
Athena sighs, grabbing her locker and going to shut it. Her eyes dart behind her when she moves the locker and sees the blonde girl standing right behind her with her bitchy friend beside her, and she silently curses her timing. She's beginning to think her locker is cursed.
"Caroline. What did I do to earn this visit?"
Her tone is indifferent. Less harsh than when she was talking to Elena, and nicer than she'd be to Bonnie because they'd never really gotten along. They were two alphas, always trying to one-up the other, and she wasn't about to be overly nice to a girl she never had positive feelings for. And, it was just another reason to hate Elena, because she had bitchy Bonnie to back her up no matter how stupid she acted.
"I just wanted to say good morning."
Athena raised a sharply-arched eyebrow at her ex, disbelief coated on her features. "And?"
Caroline sighed. "And I wanted to ask about cheerleading again. I know you said you didn't want to be on the team, but it feels weird without you there. Even if you just come sit in a few practices maybe, I don't know–"
"Caroline." She cut the girl off, not letting her begin a guilt-filled ramble she had no interest in listening to. "I'll come to a practice, okay? When's the next one?"
She doesn't miss the way Caroline's face lights up with pure glee, and she holds back the physical urge to bring the girl into a hug. Instead, she looks at Bonnie and flashes a glare at the girl who'd done nothing but burn holes into her head since they came back to school.
Caroline clapped her hands, jumping up and down a bit. "It's tomorrow after school, just meet us on the football field, okay?"
Athena nodded and readjusted her bag on her shoulder, her eyes darting to Bonnie again and meeting her glare with a lasting, falsely sweet smile as she departed for class.
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Athena slammed her books down on the picnic table, startling the dusty-haired boy sitting there. She gave him a sarcastic smile as she sat down, swinging her legs over the bench and throwing open her chemistry book.
Feeling eyes on her, she looked up from her notes and narrowed her eyes. "What?"
Stefan shrugged. "Just curious as to what you're doing."
"I'm writing down my plans to destroy the value of the American dollar and take over the country as a ruthless dictator one day. What does it look like, Stefan?"
"That sounded too thought out to be a joke."
"Don't tell anyone, or I'll have to kill you,"
Stefan laughed, his attention fully drawn away from Elena and Matt talking about Vicki. Athena's lips pulled into a half smile, and she finished writing a sentence while Stefan eyed her.
He liked Elena, that's what he kept telling himself. Elena was nothing like Katherine, and it was all the more reason to like her. She was new and she was comforting, yet still able to give him the bit of his past that he longed for.
Yet somehow, his mind always ran back to Athena. She muddled her way into his brain entirely too easily, and he'd started to question himself. She was nothing like Elena, and perhaps a little like Katherine attitude-wise, but even then she continued to surprise him with every quip and snarky retort.
Her sense of humor juxtaposed her appearance, from the shiny sheen of the lipgloss he constantly saw her reapplying in the hallways between classes, to the frilly dresses and skirts she wore that seemed to draw eyes her way constantly, even though she was oblivious to it.
Athena was an enigma to him. She was more than just a nice face to look at, she was complex and she befuddled him to the point where it nearly frustrated him. He'd barely had any real conversation with her and she was taking over his mind. She had a way about her that made her intimidating, perhaps the dark look in her brown eyes, or the uncontrollable way her face always seemed to be cemented in a smirk– from her scar, he supposed.
There was something about her that intrigued him, and it wasn't just because of the scar that ran across her face. She had a secret, and a part of him simply burned to know what it was even if he knew getting that close to her would be nothing short of a challenge.
And again, he was supposed to like Elena. Her mere presence had drawn him back to Mystic Falls in the first place, and it was why he was risking so much with Damon. It was all for Elena. Right?
"Are you staring at me, or did you have a stroke?"
Stefan blinked out of his stupor and shook his head at her blunt question. "It's not staring."
"So, you're just doing the creepy Edward Cullen thing for no reason, then?"
Stefan rolled his eyes, but chuckled, voice taking on a sarcastic lilt. "You don't think it's romantic when someone watches you sleep?"
Her face scrunched up in disgust and Stefan holds in another laugh at the sight of her endearing bluntness. "No. Also, now I know that you've seen Twilight, and nothing you ever say will make me forget that."
"What if I told you I was a vampire, too?" He asked, not able to stop the question before it came. His eyes widened briefly, but he watched her shrug lazily.
"Blood-suckers are the least of my concerns,"
Stefan gave her a reproachful look. "You wouldn't be scared?"
Athena shook her head. "I'd probably ask if you could, like, kill me or something. I wanna know what it feels like to die by vampire,"
Stefan frowned at the steadiness of her heartbeat and opened his mouth to question her on her odd desire but she spoke again before he could. "Elena isn't happy."
Her tone stayed that disinterested, bitter tone it always was, but Stefan followed her gaze and looked over her shoulder, finding Elena standing across the way staring at them. He frowned at the sight of her glare, seemingly directed straight at Athena, but when he looked back to the girl before him he saw a smug smirk in place of her blank stare.
"Do you and Elena not get along?"
Athena let out a sigh and met his gaze again, her smirk turning wistful. "Not since she ruined my life."
Stefan's face fell and she quickly got up from the table before he could ask her to elaborate.
He glanced back at his girlfriend over his shoulder and gave her a forced smile that she returned happily. He wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to convince himself that she wasn't Katherine and that he actually wanted her.
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Athena almost regrets engaging with Caroline. Keyword– almost. She missed Caroline more than she thought possible amidst all of her anger. Even though she hurt her, she still loved Caroline, just perhaps not in the way she used to. She probably wouldn't ever again.
Lunch was pizza. In the past, she and Caroline would split their trays and Athena would take her pizza in exchange for the nutty bar that her dad always gave her as a snack. Now, she stared down at the slice of pizza despondently and found her appetite was missing.
A tray was sat down on the table in front of her, and Athena looked up in surprise. She opened her mouth to say something, but couldn't find the words in her brain to form a sentence.
"Switch?" Caroline smiled wide, offering her tray of food to the girl. Athena could see the slight hesitation in her eyes, so she nodded quietly and offered the girl a soft, close-lipped smile that had the rest of the tension bleeding out of her shoulders.
Athena dug her nutty bar out of her bag and slid it across the table to Caroline, who took it eagerly.
"So," Caroline started. "What have you been up to lately?"
"Nothing, really. My dad and I are watching the comet tonight."
Caroline smiled, hearing the excitement in Athena's voice. Raphael was a busy man, so any time the two had plans, Athena's mood automatically improved. "That's nice. It's, um, it's cool that he's making time for you guys."
Athena nodded, looking down at the table sadly. Once upon a time she and Caroline could talk for hours on end about anything. Now they were just having stilted conversations with awkward small talk.
She perked up, suddenly, making Caroline look at her with wide eyes. "You remember my little cousin, Davina?" Caroline nodded. "Well, she's moving to New Orleans because she got into a private art school."
Caroline sometimes forgot how well-off Athena's entire family was, but it was times like this when she was reminded. Not everyone could just move to a different state and send their kid to a private art school.
"That's really cool. She was always really good at that sort of stuff."
Athena smiled and nodded, thinking of her younger cousin. She was a cute little girl, and the more she grew up, the more that their family pointed out their similarities. Davina deserved to see the world, and New Orleans would be good for them.
Caroline shifted in her seat nervously as she looked at Athena, who seemed to be lost in thought. "So, um, I have a question."
Athena hid her surprise, eyeing Caroline warily. "What,"
"So, at the Grill you were, um, you were with a guy–"
"Caroline, ask your question." Athena was getting frustrated with the girl's evasion, and she was beginning to regret letting her sit down in the first place.
"Are you two, like, together? Or–"
"He's a friend." Athena cut her off, her glare falling right back into place of that smile she had.
Caroline nodded quickly, looking sheepish at the scolding look Athena was fixing her with. "That's good. I'm glad you have someone to talk to."
"Well, it's not like I have you anymore. Elena made sure of that."
Caroline's eyes widened at the harsh words and she swallowed harshly around the lump in her throat. "'Thena, I'm– I know I messed up, but I'm trying to fix things now."
Athena shoved her tray away, forgetting about the food. "You can't fix things by getting jealous the first time you see me with someone after you left. It's not fair, I'm allowed to move on."
Caroline stared sadly at the watery haze that came over Athena's eyes, unable to do anything but sit there and listen.
"You can't fix things between us as long as you're still friends with Elena, Caroline. You know that."
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Athena grumbled to herself as she microwaved the leftovers from dinner that she'd brought from her house, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at the tiled floor of the boarding house's kitchen. "Elena's coming, act completely normal, blah blah blah, I'm a huge vampire dickhead who compels his only friend!"
"I can hear you, you know," Damon said, entering the kitchen with a cocky smirk that made Athena raise her middle finger at him. "It's not nice to talk about your friends that way."
"Well, I can't talk about you any other way because you've compelled me to keep my mouth shut about how you're just a huge, vampiric dickhead."
Damon rolled his eyes at the teenage girl. "I'm taking precautions. Can't have you telling anyone about my secret just yet."
"Who do I speak to besides you?"
Damon smiled, patting her head, and she smacked his hand away with a glare. "That's what I like to hear, honey,"
"No. Absolutely not." She shot him down and reached for the microwave as it dinged, grabbing the container of food and stirring it. "No pet names."
"That's what friends do, though,"
Athena scoffed and shoved her food back in the microwave for another two minutes. She hadn't eaten after her conversation with Caroline, and she felt like she was practically dying of hunger. But Damon texted her and told her that she had to come over to his house because he needed more intel on Elena.
"So, what exactly do you know about Elena? Because Stefan is obsessed. He's been writing in his stupid journal nonstop, and he only does that when he's pining." Damon rolled his eyes, going to the fridge and grabbing a blood bag. He frowned at the multiple bottles of soda and juice in there, his eyes darting to the human standing in his kitchen that had to be the culprit of such things.
Clearing his throat, he took a large sip off the blood bag and she grimaced at the sight. "Other than the fact that she's a selfish, lying, manipulative bitch? Nothing. Stefan told me he wasn't sure if he could handle the baggage– aka her dead parents, but they seem perfectly fine to me."
Damon eyed her again, hearing that same angry bitterness in her voice every time he brought Elena up. He knew he could just compel the answers to his questions out of her, but he couldn't deny the fact that he actually did like Athena's company, and if he just got everything he wanted from her right away, he wouldn't have an excuse to annoy her.
Damon opened his mouth to respond, but the front door creaked loudly enough to silence them both. He looked at Athena with a smirk and she rolled her eyes. "Only Elena is stupid enough to walk into a house just because the front door is open."
"And boy am I lucky she did,"
Athena shoved him towards the hallway and he laughed at her constant ire. She walked over to the fridge and grabbed a can of soda, right as the timer for her food went off. She set her drink down and took the container out, wincing at the heat radiating from it, silently grumbling because she didn't want to wait for it to cool down enough for her to not burn her tongue.
She walked down the dark hallway, towards the living room. She stopped abruptly at the sight of Elena standing there, talking to Damon who had a knowing smirk on his face compared to the upset look on Elena's, and Athena sighed. Slowly, she started to back up, hoping to avoid Elena altogether.
Damon looked over his shoulder at the girl and his eyes lit up with mischief. "Hey, Athena,"
She glared at him, her face falling as Elena snapped her head over to look at the sudden presence in the room. "Damon, you're an asshole. I'm eating this in your bed."
Damon's smirk fell and he pointed at her accusingly. "Do not eat in my bed, I have silk sheets."
Athena shrugged and stepped into the living room, passing by Elena without acknowledging her. "And I just happened to forget a napkin. I'll have to make do."
"Athena!"
She ignored him, walking back to his bedroom with a smirk on her lips. Right as she set her plate down on his dresser, her phone went off and she opened the notification with a frown. Sighing outwardly, she let out a frustrated groan and grabbed the container of food again.
"Damon!" She called, walking back into the living room. "Today is your lucky day, because– oh. Oh, this is awkward," Athena trailed off as she stopped in front of the group, Damon's smug smirk back in place at Stefan's glare. Athena snorted amusedly, ignoring Stefan's wide-eyed stare as she looked back at Damon. "Josh wants me to meet him for dinner in town."
Side-stepping the couple eyeing her with varying looks of disdain and shock, she sniffs. "See you at school, Stefan. Elena," She tilted her head, offering the girl a tight smile. "Eat shit."
Damon huffed a laugh at her words, and stepped in between Elena and Stefan, successfully having created the tension he wanted to. "Your chariot awaits, Athena."
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author's note; already have 1k on this book are y'all serious ???? ily !!
(I don't wanna delete that author's note it's so 🥹)
originally published: 10.26.20.
edited: 11.20.23.
- liz