Edit/Rewritten: August 25, 2021
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Logan's POV
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Chapter Twenty-Three: Someone Who Cares
The late evening quickly turns into nighttime. Dinner was served in silence, me and Kyle eating in the guest room while Tripp kept Liam company. It was easier that way. Liam wouldn't be embarrassed about his red-rimmed eyes, and Kyle still had the meal of a lifetime.
Now it's nearing early morning, the sky starting to turn a light blue as the clock ticks. It's almost 4 am, and neither me nor Tripp could go to sleep. Instead our eyes stayed trained on the wall in front of us, as if it was holding all the answers. Usually, if this was the case in any other situation we'd initiate something or go to the gym. But with Kyle staying in the guest room, and Liam sleeping on the couch in the living room, we just couldn't find it in ourselves to do either of those.
Both of our guests were situated, and with that we were left alone, basking in the darkness of our thoughts.
Finally Tripp broke that silence, muttering quietly. "We need to convince him to leave his girlfriend." Somewhere throughout the night his hand had traveled to rest against my abdomen, running soothing circles against my side.
"It freaked me out so bad." I admit, chuckling humorously. "The thought of someone you're with to trust and love, turning on you in a split second because of who you are."
"You won't ever have to confront him, Logan." Tripp says calmly. Guilt floods me in a second. This isn't about me. None of this is. And yet — I still can't help but project what happened to me onto what Liam was currently going through.
It's selfish, and it makes the guilt that's boiling inside me coil and transform into disgust.
"He attacked me, Tripp. He attacked me thinking I was Kyle. My father hated his son for being gay and wanted to stab him. What would he do if he finds out that I'm gay?" I let out a soft, sheepish sigh. "Or that I'm at least currently attracted to a male."
Again, because it's true. When I analyze my feelings it's clear that I'm not gay. I'm not interested in other males. Obviously I can tell when another guy is attractive, but I never find myself attracted to them. Yet, when it comes to Tripp, I find that I'm fully invested, emotionally and physically.
It just feels right.
Tripp let's out an agitated sigh, as though the question is making him think unwanted thoughts. I relate. "I don't know Logan." He begins, "And I don't want to know. I only want to love you, to keep you safe. To do that; I'm keeping you two far away from each other."
My body arches against his as kisses are pressed against my neck in a comforting and reassuring manner. However the thought of my father quickly brings back awful words that echo in the back of my head and I whimper against Tripp. He's quick to turn next to me, engulfing me in his warmth and comforting words and I finally find myself giving into the prospect of sleep.
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It isn't often that I find myself actively hating somebody else. The thought is simply outlandish, why hate? Which, in truth, is completely hypocritical seeing as most of my high school career consisted of me 'hating on people'. That's only quote-on-quote though, an assumption, the idea that there is a reason behind why I did something. When most of the time, I just hated my life. It isn't an excuse, there's constant guilt and self-hatred for my past self.
That being said;
I hate Liam.
I mean, not really. But waking up alone isn't something I appreciate and the chatter that fills the hallway, presumably from the kitchen, let's me know all I need to know about my missing lover. It's a holiday, for crying out loud! Late mornings should be a given. A dejected whine escapes me as a particularly loud laugh makes its way into the hallway, fully convincing me to get out of bed. It's a cold bed now anyways, I huff.
I stop at the entranceway of the hallway, seeing Tripp in the kitchen - because where else would he be? - and finding a pajama clothed Liam sitting on the other side of the counter. My nose scrunches at their conversation, picking up terms that relate to politics, I smartly decide not to get involved in that topic.
Finally seeming to notice me, Tripp turns around, sending me a wide grin. "Morning baby, how do you feel?"
From the corner of my eye I see Liam looking at us, I quickly greet him, getting a small wave in return as I waddle over to Tripp. Some part of me understands the early morning, after everything that occurred it was obvious that Liam had been left alone with his thoughts too much. While thinking and pondering is safe for the most part, overthinking isn't and neither me nor Tripp would want Liam to regret his decision about staying with us and . . . return to his shared dorm with his girlfriend and their roommates.
"Terrible." A sigh. I make it to him, taking it upon myself to hug him and press my face into his shoulders. "It's too early to be awake. I hate you."
The words come out jumbled and muffled but Tripp laughs anyways, one of his hands cradling the back of my head, massaging the back of my neck. It's unknown to me whether he's doing it in an attempt to wake me up, but it's having the opposite effect, making me begin to sway on my feet.
"I'm sorry," He mumbles quietly, pressing the side of his face against mine. The words are hushed and they make my heart skip a beat because even when there's someone less than ten feet away from us, the quiet words convince me that he wants it to just be us. A kiss presses against the side of my face, "I'll be there next time."
And who would've thought we'd become the stereotypical cheesy couples portrayed in movies? "You better be, I missed you."
"I'm so scared." Tripp teases, I smack him, deciding I've given him too much attention and stepping away. Liam has long since stopped leering at us from his spot on the counter, scrolling on his phone instead.
"How'd you sleep, Liam?" The question leaves me as I lean over the kitchen counter, taking in his appearance. Unlike yesterday he doesn't look extremely pale, but pink still decorates his eyelids and the tip of his nose. If it had been any other day, if I didn't know about what he went through or the decisions that clouded his mind I would've simply attributed the soreness in his face to makeup.
Despite that he smiles, "Good! I slept really comfortably. Alot happened yesterday so I pretty much knocked out once I got comfortable."
"That's good!" A pause and then, "Do you mind if I check on your bruises?"
Liam shakes his head, turning on the chair to give me access from the side. "No, I don't mind." A bright blush consumes his cheeks, "Do you want me to uh- take off my shirt again?"
"That would help a lot, yeah." The air is awkward, but not as much as yesterday. I gather the same materials before stepping in next to him, waiting until the bandages are staring back at me to remove them. I do so, checking the bruises to ensure that they are getting better rather than worse and applying some cream on the ones that look like they haven't improved at all.
From above me Liam's meek voice speaks, "I- I really appreciate this Logan. I definitely feel a lot better with the cream."
A snort escapes me, "No problem, I was in football for most of high school so dealing with bruises is my forte."
"Football?" His tone fills with curiosity, I let out a small 'mhm' in agreement. "Was it any fun?"
"Oh yeah, for sure. I got to tackle a lot of psychically attractive dudes." There's a sudden clatter behind Liam and from my viewpoint I can see Trip hissing, the side of one of his fingers pressing into his mouth as he curses. A hum escapes me as I straighten myself, throwing a teasing grin towards Tripp. "You okay over there?"
"Oh yeah," He responds, voice hoarse. "Just peachy."
"I joke about it," I begin, redoing the bandages, making sure they aren't too tight. "But during high school I was only ever involved with girls. But when I moved here, with Tripp. I started seeing things differently and learning new things about myself. Like," I huff, thinking of an example, from behind Liam Tripp makes a kissing motion, making me glare at him. " For example, I found that my feelings towards my best friend, Tripp, ventured past just being friends. It looks all fine and dandy now but it took a lot out of me to accept. I'm doing it slowly. Anyways, the point I'm trying to get to is that I wouldn't have known about mine, or Tripp's feelings, if I weren't here."
The other blinks, his pink and blue pastel clips holding his hair out of his face. Then, another bright blush covers his cheeks as he holds his hand up in a defensive position. "Oh, I'm not gay."
In the kitchen, Tripp lets out a loud laugh, another clatter being heard a few seconds after. It's what he gets, I think as I turn back to Liam. "That - isn't the message I was trying to get across. What I'm trying to say is that sometimes you won't know what you want, or need, until you get out of that situation and go at it from a different perspective."
The message, that Liam's relationship with his girlfriend was something that wasn't needed, finally seemed to click. The relationship was probably something that he wanted. Society was a disgusting, toxic thing, and it made being single seem like some sort of abnormality. The doubt and concern I had about Liam when I first saw him with Tripp was still very much there, but that didn't make me happy that he was beaten up. There wasn't ever an excuse to lash out at someone. No one deserves to feel fear from those who are supposed to care for them.
Liam's usual giddy demeanor fades as he pulls his shirt back on, turning slowly to face the front as Tripp places a hefty breakfast plate in front of him. His baritone voice fills the newfound silence, "We'll give you some time to think about it. We're not pressuring you into anything. It's your life, you're the one living your decisions."
Tripp then turns to me, eyes filled with something akin to mirth. "Me and Logan are going to go take a quick shower, then we'll hang out."
My heart jolts against my ribcage at the unexpected statement. Shower? Together? Had we ever done that before? I would definitely remember if that happened? My mouth opens in protest but before anything can come out I'm being dragged down the hallway.
Oh yeah, of course, how could I forget that we showered together.
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