Without a word I strolled behind the couch on the opposite side of Claude before sitting down. We sat in silence for awhile as I stared at Claude who was just looking down. I could only see the outline of him as the moon just barely illuminated the room.
"I'm not here for an apology just...I want some answers." I say quietly. "What more would you like to know? I already told you it wasn't your fault that it was mine. You already know why." Claude mutters quitely.
"Yes, vaguely. I've forgiven your actions towards me all these years but you should know it wasn't for you but me. I've forgiven you but that doesn't mean everything is better suddenly and it certainly doesn't mean you can act like you have been or is some sort of father to me. Maybe we were building up to it, I don't know but I am old enough to be engaged, to be married. It's not like I'm a child anymore, I am a young lady now, I have been for awhile now too." I tell him staring at him.
He was silent for awhile, maybe gathering his thoughts. "Do as you wish. I won't interfere." Claude says quitely. I gritted my teeth waiting, that all? Just as I was about to speak he spoke again. "You shouldn't have forgiven me. Not only can I not make up for what I've done I won't ever be able to get it right. You're this old already it's to late I've already failed, you and her. I already missed so much and I won't get it back. What she wanted me to experience, to do, it's to late. Yet today I imagined as if you were still younger and seeing you with him it put it all back in perspective all over again." Claude slurs before grabbing a glass and gulping it all down at once.
She? My mother he actually spoke briefly about my mother. I scooted a little closer towards him so I could hear more clearly. "She as in my mother... what did she want you to experience?" I ask gazing up at him. For a brief moment I watched his eyes glimmer as he glanced towards me. "Family. She wished for me to raise and love you. One of the very few things she ever asked of me. The last thing she ever asked of me." Claude admitted looking even further away from me.
My stomach burned as tears welled up in my eyes. "She asked you to do something you shouldn't have even be asked of. Why would she even ask you of that? You must've never wanted for me to be born. Then you shouldn't have let her! You didn't love her did you? Since you couldn't even fulfill her last wish, love the child she beared that was yours also. Why'd you let her born me? Why didn't you just kill me right away? Why?" I ask as tears drained from my eyes.
Claude looked at me he was reserved his face emotionless but his eyes. He then reached his hand towards me placing his hand gently on the top of my head. Everything suddenly then became black.
A lovely voice was the first thing I could hear but I couldn't understand what it was saying and it also became brighter around me. Finally I was able to clearly hear as my vision came less hazy. It was a women's voice singing so beautifully. My vision then cleared as I saw a lady with flowing curly golden hair like mine walking away, wearing clothes of a dancer. She was singing as she was walking along, she was like a fairy. I saw a hand reach out for her but I wasn't mine it was a mans hand. She turned around revealing her pink eyes, as she smiled, grabbing the hand that was reaching for her. Then it all faded away again. My mother. From when I saw her in my memories for the first time she looked so much more healthier.
This time I heard the light clicking of heels across stone floor. My vision cleared as I seemed to gaze up the staircase. She came into view wearing a simple but elegant slight purple dress with her hair being decorated with silver and a single purple flower. As she reached the bottom she did a small courtesy and smiled up at me. "You look very handsome, Your Majesty." She says.
"You look beautiful, Diana." Claudes voice could be heard. She giggled taking his hand as they walked away hand in hand. She then did a small twirl giggling. She was so graceful and seemed to shine so brightly. So bright.
I faded back and into another scene of her twirling along as she hummed a random tune. So carefree and happy. Then she seemed to trip as she fell to the ground. Instantly she was being held up in Claude's arms. "Are you alright?" I could hear him ask as she looked up at him confused.
"Y-Yeah." She seemed lost as she tried to stand up again. Which she did aided by Claude. "Odd I just felt really weak for a moment and then my legs gave out." She explains brushing her fingers through her hair. "Your mana, it seems, it's different." Claude says and she turned and looked at him before her eyes rolled back and she collapsed again. This time Claude caught her and slowly eased her to the ground. He began shaking her as eyes were closed and her face was very pale.
"Diana, Diana! Diana wake up! Diana!" Claude's yells then faded out.
Then repeated once again. She sat in the chair in dark room the moon barely illuminating it. She was in despair, it hurt to see her like that. Why does she have to be so sad? I began to turn away, walking down the hall only a couple of steps. Before pausing. He then was rushing back to her.
He grabbed onto her arms pulling her from her seat. She seemed shocked as she looked up towards him, Claude.
"I've lost."
"It feels as if I've been played by you all along."
"I'll beg if you want me to." Claude expressed as he squeezed her arms but she didn't seem to be hurting because of that.
"How.. How can you say such a thing?" She asked tears spilled from her eyes.
"Because if I don't I'll lose you completely." Claude replied.
Gritting his teeth, "Yes I'm aware this is nothing but a stupid game of emotions. But knowing that, I still end up showing all my cards like this again."
"Your Majesty.."
"Don't think about anything else. Decide this with only yourself in mind."
"Don't leave. Choose me."
"Choose me..." Claude begged as she remained silently crying.
"Instead of the child that's eating away at your life as we speak!" He yelled and it faded again.
This time her belly had grown quite a bit. But it wasn't huge but it was still quite big. She looked very tired as she watched the two magicians who both held one of her hands and magic surrounded the hands.
She looked up and excitement was evident as she noticed him. A soft smile broke out onto her face. "Your Majesty, you've come to see us." She exclaimed as the magicians let go and bowed before him. They both looked really exhausted now then they took their leave.
"You look tired." Claude commented not taking a step closer. "Yes I am tired, but I'm alright." She replied as she gently rubbed her belly.
"I heard you haven't been outside for about a week now." Claude says. His voice was cold as it was with me. Her gloomed a bit as she looked at her belly. "Ah, yeah. I'm okay though. This is normal to be really tired the first few months of pregnancy." She exclaimed.
"You belly may have grown but you've gotten thinner." Claude says. She did seem thinner in her face and arms. "Yes but I'm getting better now that we figured out that the baby just needs some mana. I'm a lot more refreshed." She says it was obvious her spirit was crushed just a little
"It's a baby of Obelian blood. Not yours. Nothing of it is yours!"
"You are suffering right now just so you can bring it out into this world and it's repaying you by killing you slowly!" Claude yelled. Making her flinch.
"It's a monster."
"It's a baby. Our baby." Diana spoke her hands on her belly in a protective manner.
"Our baby is not a monster. Our baby will grow up to be a wonderful person. With a caring and loving heart, smart, and beautiful." Diana continued.
"Your Majesty, please love this child as you've loved me." Diana asked with a smile of hope then it faded again.
Then when it faded in again it was me.
First time he saw me in Lily's arms crying. Then again in the Garnet Palace were I gazed up at him.
Several were just me when I went to greet Claude in his office once a week. Every image of our time together flickered pass. I never actually looked him in the eye nor did I say more then a couple sentences. Of course I didn't I didn't have the courage too. It was quite visible I was scared somewhat. I looked so gloomy looking. Compared to the images of my mother I was a lot more duller. We had the same hair but hers seemed to shine, her eyes held a glint, she seemed to bathing in the sunlight every time.
Then even after Jennette entered. Nothing really changed except I saw him even less. Only really for greetings. No longer even meals together.
Then it was of me again. Begging Claude for his love. To be treated like his daughter as Jennette was.
I look so desperate. I look like Claude. Who begged Diana. My mother. It's actually kind of funny. Claude and I were quite similar begging another for their love, for them to choose us. Claude's childhood, it must've been similar to mine.
He wasn't borned from the Empress and so he was an outcast also while his brother was loved and worshipped. In the history books written Claude did kill his brother who was obsessed and diving to deep into Black Magic. That's why Claude was known as a hero in getting rid of his brother but his brother already killed Claude's mother so I don't think it had to with his black magic crazed brother.
At least I know those at the Emerald Palace care for me but what about Claude? The only person that I see close to him is Felix. So was the only other person my mother?
Claude and I both wanted the love of someone who chose another.
The images continued to my trial. Of when I first mustered up the most confidence I could. My voice was strong and confident as I defended my case. The image of me began to flicker between my mother who had a stern face. It flicked several times before the images continued.
To where I danced happily with those of the Emerald Palace. It flicked again when my mother danced the same dance. When I was in the garden picking flowers. It flickered once again with my mother in the same garden dancing around as she also held flowers smelling them.
Then when we had Lippie tea together. To when I showed up at Claude's birthday banquet and danced. To all the other times. I was no longer so desperate and meek. My golden hair shined as my mother and my blue gem eyes sparkled. I bathed in the same light as my mother.
In the end I was like my mother. In the end I am her child too.
Then it was of tonight. Lucas and I. To when I announced our engagement and stood up to Claude. The images of when I collapsed before at my eighteenth birthday because of my mana and how I was unconscious. Of hearing how I was dying, and would collapse sometimes walking. To my mother who being given mana so she could live to give birth to me.
Then everything finally laid to rest. As my vision cleared up I slumped back. Taking a moment to process.
A child. Lucas is a powerful magician and I can't even handle my own mana. My mother died because her body couldn't handle my mana. "You think if I have a child with Lucas I'll end up as her?" I ask gazing up at Claude.
Claude stayed silent as he stared at the table as if it were the most interesting thing. I took his silence as a yes. "Well I've gotten quite the control over my mana, and I'm not leaving anytime soon." I stated as I turned myself and say like Claude was.
It was silent for a long time. But peaceful. Just watching the faint shadows in the room as replayed the images of my mom in my head.
Claude then spoke up, "I'm sorry. For what I put you through. I know I've got no right but for as long as you want I will stand by your side. As you're my daughter."
I looked up at Claude who looked down at me. For the first time he didn't have his cold deadpanned face. But it felt almost worse as his face just looked... hopeless. Claude has been lonely his whole life until Diana and then she chose me, death, over him. For the first time I felt like I could understand him. It wasn't my fault but I understood why he abandoned me. But he still subconsciously did love and care for me in the begining. I was taken care of as a princess surrounded by luxury and not once could I remember my life being endangered from assasians. Which should have been common considering I was the sole heir for a long time and Claude didn't have a Empress or any concubines to have anymore children. Yet I never was in danger.
Claude froze his heart and covered up his memories of her. Jennette wasn't the one who broke his frozen heart either, it was me. I also uncovered his memories of her. That's when Claude and I got close. When it was revealed we spent time with each other as Father and Daughter. My mother had me for a reason other than just having a child. I was the gift to Claude to help him reconcile with his bloodline. To be something permanent by his side so Claude would no longer be lonely. As for a child will always love their parent and so Claude would always be loved. That even though she is gone she is still part of me and so not truly gone. But it was only possible if Claude accepted me and that was the risk she took. That is why she named me Athanasia. But after all this time it's all about if I can forgive him now.
2 months later
The wind blew carrying the fragrance of the flowers. As it blew past me making hair dance and tickling my skin. Nonetheless it was a beautiful day. Using my magic I picked several flower, dethroned then, before placing them into arms. I've been practicing my magic lately. I've developed quickly but still not the best. I do simple things with small items only.
As the cool breeze blew past me I turned around. His cool eyes seemed to be in a daze as he trailed behind.
"Hurry up, Papa. You're falling so far behind." I called to him extending one of my hands out towards him. He snapped out of his daze as his eyes fixated on me. Dad caught up to me as I grabbed his hand pulling him along with me.
"You're staying so far away, looking like such a sad lonely man. Making your daughter wait on you." I teased, laughing.
"I just don't want to end up with thorns in my face again." Claude responded nonchalant. My face heated up as that memory resurfaced again. "I don't recall such a thing happening." I played dumb. "How about when you so badly wanted to drive the boat and we didn't even leave the dock before you flipped us?" Dad continued a faint smirk on his face. "I don't need a refresher." I grumble as I could feel the triumph of the person next to me.
We reached the tea table and our seats, I placed the flowers on the table. Then I poured us both tea from the tea kettle that was waited for us. As both took a sip of the tea I glanced over to see bright red in the far distance. Ah, poor Felix. A hundred steps today.
I forgave Claude once and for all after a few days from that night. I started to call him dad too. He isn't the kindest and most loving father in the world but our relationship has improved immensely and I know dad cares for me. We spend everyday together having tea, going for walks, meals, and he is also teaching me more about Obelia to be the future Empress.
Lucas and Claude don't have the best relationship but they both agreed to be nice to each other. Which isn't really happening, it's more at least they aren't trying to kill each other.
Lucas and I still are engaged which we formally announced a few weeks ago. Lucas also has been teaching me magic in all honestly he sucks at teaching and really just ask dad to. But I don't tell Lucas that.
Ijekiel and Jennette just formally announced their engagement too. But I haven't seen them in a very long time. Lily and Felix are also going strong too. They are so cute.
Papa and I are finally fulfilling my mother's last wish.
PLEASE READ!!
Okay, this chapter marks the end of the Claude and Athy relationship reconciliation arc! So "What if?" will be on OFFICAL HIATUS till my winter break in middle of December because school is just a lot at the moment :( but Good news is I really can not wait to write the second and final arc of this story so excited! I also already have another WMMAP fanfic story I'm writing that I'm also excited to release after I finish this one. Oh and if you get updates about this story I really want to go back through and do some editing because I understand that ones who are translating it must be difficult for any of just the littlest grammar or spelling mistakes.
See you in December! Love you all!