"Theresa, hi." My mother answers the phone. Her voice sounds weird, and I can barely hear her through all the wind blowing around.
"I can't really hear you, are you outside?" I yell into the phone over the wind that continues to blow loud into her phone microphone.
"Yeah, sorry. Give me a second." I hear the sounds of horns honking around her. It sounds like she's in the middle of New York City
The wind stops blowing, so I think she's indoors now. "Sorry about that. I'm in Seattle right now, and you know how noisy and windy it can get."
"You're in Seattle? Why?" I ask.
"I was just meeting with a girlfriend at a nice restaurant in the city."
A girlfriend? Since when does my mother have lunches in Seattle with her girlfriends?
"Which friend?"
"You don't know her." She says as someone speaks on her side. It sounds like this person is speaking over a loudspeaker, but I can't tell what is being said.
"Well, is there a reason you called me, Theresa? My friend is going to be here any minute."
"I was just calling to check in on you. How are you feeling?"
"I feel fine. Some days are better than others, and as the weather gets colder..." She pauses briefly. "I'm okay though, Theresa."
"Don't lie to me. You would tell me if you were getting worse right?"
"Of course... and I'm not lying. Now, how are you?"
"Hardin and I have an appointment tomorrow to see how the baby's doing."
"That's wonderful. I'm so happy for the two of you."
It's still so strange to hear that my mother is happy for Hardin and me. I remember when she first started warming up to the idea of Hardin and me still communicating when I got back from his graduation. I was upset that he left his graduation without saying goodbye, even though now we established that it was all just one big misunderstanding. My mother was supportive though, and I think that was the first time she gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe Hardin and I would make it after all.
-
"How was the graduation?" My mother asked as I entered the house. She was sitting on the couch reading her bible. She highlighted it like I do with books. It was actually a thing I learned from her.
"I don't want to talk about it." I stormed past her into the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee. I was in such a rush this morning that I forgot to drink a cup before I left, and I'm exhausted.
"Theresa, what happened?"
"It was fine. I saw him in his new life, with his new tattoos and new friends." I forgot to mention a possible girlfriend. That girl, Kaci I thought her name was, mentioned her sister went out with them, and I had to fight so hard to seem unaffected.
"Oh please. I'm sure he was happy to see you."
"He was, but he left me without saying goodbye. I spent thirty minutes walking around that huge stadium trying to find him, but Ken told me that he left with his friends."
Of course I was happy that Hardin created this better life for himself, but even though we weren't together, it still pained me to not be in this new life of his.
"He left without saying goodbye? I'm sorry, but that just doesn't sound like him."
"Well it happened, so I just have to accept the fact that Hardin has moved on." I took a sip of coffee to reenergize my body. I needed all the strength to get through this conversation without crying.
"Isn't that what you wanted him to do? Theresa, you two aren't together..."
"I know! I don't know what I want! I'm really confused right now, but seeing him do all these things without me hurt, and him leaving without saying goodbye was the final crack into my already broken heart. Of course I am so happy he's getting better, but I wish I could experience this 'new and improved' Hardin that his friends were raving about."
"Theresa..." She sat next to me at our kitchen table.
"I really don't want to hear it. I know you don't like him, so please don't say 'I told you so' or 'it's about time' because I don't think I can hear that right now."
"I wasn't going to say that..." She began to speak, and I put my coffee mug down so all of my attention could be on her. "I don't think Hardin and I will ever be on the best terms, but I know he loves you. He's hurt you, and done unforgivable things to you and this family, but he has also done things that showed how deeply he cares for you."
"He said he walked across that stage for me..." I told her.
"See. You are upset that he is doing all these things without you, but remember that it was your choice to leave him, so you can't be upset with him for continuing to live his life."
"I know..." I sighed into my hands.
"He walked across that stage for you, Theresa. That man loves you, and I don't think him getting some new tattoos or friends should make you give up hope. I believe he's continuing to better himself for you."
"Since when were you so supportive of mine and Hardin's relationship?" I didn't think I would ever hear Carol Young tell me not to give up hope with Hardin.
"Ever since I've met David, I just see the world a little differently now. I don't necessarily support your relationship, but I just don't see a reason to give up hope now."
-
"Oh, my friend is here. Will you call me after your appointment tomorrow and update me?" My mother interrupts my thoughts.
"Oh, yeah... sure." I tell her, and we hang up.
I still suspect my mother isn't telling me something, but I'm not gonna press her about it. She has enough on her plate.
I think back to that conversation we had after Hardin's graduation. I didn't realize how much my mother was supportive during that difficult time for me. Weirdly enough, my mother is a contribution on why Hardin and I are together now. I was considering giving up on us, but she talked me out of it.
From outside my room, I hear the front door slam, meaning that Hardin is back already. I hear him call out my name, so I race out to meet him in the main room.
"That was fast." I giggle as he puts down a couple bags on the table.
"Yeah, it wasn't busy since it's New Years Eve."
"I figured it wouldn't be. I just got off the phone with my mother."
Hardin takes his medication out of one of the bags and puts it in the medicine cabinet. "How is she doing?"
"From what she's told me, she's doing well. I don't know, I still feel like she's keeping things from me."
"Not everyone is always keeping things from you."
"The majority are." I sigh back against the wall. I hate the feeling of thinking everyone is keeping things from me, even if it may not be true.
"I'm sorry you feel that way." He walks towards me, putting his hand on the wall next to my head.
Wanting to change the subject, I grab a hold of his shirt and kiss him. "Are you ready to celebrate our first New Years as husband and wife?"
He smiles brightly, licking his lips. "And our last New Years just the two of us."
Oh my god. How did I not realize that all these holiday's coming up will be the last time we are celebrating them just him and I. There will be three of us soon. "I didn't even think about that."
"It's crazy, isn't it."
"I don't think I'll ever get used to it, at least until the baby gets here. I still can't believe there's a baby in here, I mean... my bump is so tiny."
My bump is definitely there, but it's so tiny. I must still be super early in my pregnancy.
"You can see it. You're growing a human in there, babe." Hardin smiles as he touches my stomach.
"Our human." I smile back, touching his hand which still rests against my stomach.
"Yes. Our human."