Bryce came down the stairs to see me crying against the door.
"What happened? Did he hurt you?" he asked, rushing over and kneeling down next to me.
I shook my head. "No, I hurt him," I said softly, wiping the tears from my eyes.
Bryce looked lost. "What do you mean?"
"Bryce, we were kissing, and I pulled away. I- I told him that we couldn't do anything because my heart wasn't in it."
"That's okay. You're allowed to say no."
"Bryce, no. He asked if I just didn't want the sex or him. I didn't say anything, Bryce. I didn't have to. He already knew."
Bryce enveloped me in a hug, and I sobbed into his chest. "Did you break it off because of who I think you did?" I didn't speak. I simply nodded into his chest. He stroked my hair as I cried. "Shh. It's okay. Everything is gonna be okay."
Bryce and I sat against the door for what felt like hours. "Bryce?" I asked finally.
"What's up, Bails?"
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it. What kind of brother would I be if I didn't comfort you in a time of despair?"
"No, I don't mean for just right now. I mean for always. When dad left, you stepped up for me. I didn't need a dad because I had you. It's two o'clock in the morning, and you're sitting down here with me while I bawl my eyes out over hurting one of your friends and being in love with another. You've always, always had my back, and I never thank you for it," I said, sniffling.
Bryce squeezed me a little tighter. "You don't have to thank me, Bails. It was the right thing to do. It is the right thing to do. Let's get you in bed."
We made our way up the stairs. "Sleep tight, Bailey. If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to knock. Addi didn't stay over tonight, so you don't have to worry about waking her up."
I hugged him again. "Thank you, bubba," I whispered.
The next morning, the events of the night before came flooding back to me. I threw on a paper of joggers and a hoodie and headed downstairs to the kitchen.
"You good? You look like shit," Jaden said.
"You can't tell people they look like shit," Anthony said, hitting Jaden.
I ignored them both and sat down at the table with Blake and Kio. "You hungry?" Blake asked softly, looking at me strangely.
I shook my head. "Do you want to talk about it?" Kio asked.
I shook my head again. Noah walked into the kitchen. "Hey, kiddo. How'd your date go?" I groaned and buried my face in my arms.
Griffin and Quinton walked in from outside. "What's her problem?" Griffin asked, grabbing a water from the fridge.
"I don't ask," Jaden said, leaving the kitchen.
Bryce and Josh walked into the kitchen together, laughing over some vlog bit they had just filmed.
I felt arms wrap around me. "What?" I grunted.
"Hey, it's me. What's wrong?" Bryce whispered.
I didn't look up. "I don't want to talk about it, but I also don't want to be alone."
I felt him sit down in the chair next to me. "Will you at least get your head off of the table? Sometimes, we eat on there."
"I'll clean it before I cook next," I said, looking up to glare at him before burying my head again.
"Why don't you just tell them?" he asked. I looked around the room to see who was still in there.
When I spotted Josh, I knew my answer. "No," I said, laying my head back down.
"Damn it, Bailey," Bryce said. "I know that you're upset, but this ends right now. You are not going to sit around and pout. You're gonna get up, dust yourself off, and come back even stronger."
"I don't want to," I whined.
"Good thing that I didn't ask. Head up. Now."
I sat up and looked at him. "Are you happy? Now everyone can see my nappy bed head and eye bags. You got what you wanted."
"I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you feel sorry for yourself every time you hurt someone's feelings, you're never going to stop feeling sorry for yourself. That's how it works out here."
"I used him, Bryce. I'm allowed to feel bad about using someone that I was close to. You can't tell me that I'm not," I said, my voice growing softer as my rant progressed.
I could feel everyone's eyes on me. "You know that you didn't use him, right?"
"Like hell I didn't! I got drunk because I was hurt, and I latched on to the first person I could. I had sex with him, and I tried to convince myself that I had feelings for him so that I could distract myself from how damn pathetic my life has become!"
Gasps circled around the room. "Oh, fucking quit it. Don't pretend like you all thought I didn't sleep with him. I was completely hammered. You all should've seen it coming." I stood up from the table. "Are you happy, Bryce? I didn't want to talk about it, but you had to keep pushing. Now, I've talked about it. Congratulations." I stormed back up the stairs.
A short while later, there was a knock on my door. "What?" Whoever it was opened the door and sat down on the bed. "Can I help- Josh."
"Bailey, we need to talk."
"The last time we 'needed to talk,' I found out that you sent a picture of me in to tiktokroom, the day after we were on tiktokroom together. I'm not really interested in talking to you right now."
Josh sighed. "Then listen." He took my silence as an answer. "I made a mistake. I think that my feelings for you were circumstantial, and I'm sorry that I hurt you in revealing those feelings. I should've been confident in them before I revealed them, and for that, I'm truly sorry. I hope that we can be friends again."
"You didn't come in here to fucking tell me that your feelings for me weren't real. This has got to be a joke," I said, turning back to face him. "This is supposed help me be friends with you again? I'm not you, Josh. My feelings were and are very real. Until I have time to process them, especially after I let myself get my hopes up, we can not be friends."
"I'm sorry that I hurt you. I love Nessa very much, and I shouldn't have played with your emotions after she and I broke up."
"Can you leave, please?"
"What?" he asked, confused.
"Can you get out of my fucking room?" I asked again, this time much less politely. I covered my head with my comforter and waited to hear the door latch. At this point, I was so numb that I couldn't even muster up a tear.
I let myself drift back to sleep. Periodically, I heard conversations just outside the door.
"I'm worried about her," Jaden said. "We need to step in."
"We can't. Bryce said not to," Noah disagreed.
"What about Addison? Do you think she'll talk to Addison?" Bryce suggested.
Kio answered sadly. "I don't think so."
Hearing them talk about me fueled my anger and my sadness, but I couldn't face them. Not yet. I needed to call someone first.
"Bailey? Is everything okay?"
"No, Mom. It's not," I replied, my voice catching in my throat.
"What's wrong, honey?"
The tears were ready to flow again. "Josh and I had a moment, but he got back with his ex. Tayler and I had a moment, but I ruined it because I couldn't stop thinking about Josh. Bryce and I had a moment, but I ruined it by yelling at him even though he was just trying to help. My friends are all really worried about me, and I don't even know how I feel."
My mom sighed. "Baby girl, you know that everything will be okay. Remember what I always told you and your brother: focus on the positives. We're not getting off of this phone call until you can tell me one positive thing for each negative thing you already told me."
I sighed. I hated when she would do this to me as a kid. "I made friends with the boys' girlfriends."
"Okay, that's one. Two more."
"I had a lot of fun on my date last night, even if it didn't end very well."
"One more, baby. You can do this."
I sighed again. "I thanked Bryce for always being there for me after Dad left."
Mom let a small gasp out. "I'm sorry."
"It wasn't your fault, Mom."
"I know, but I feel responsible still. Can you promise me something, Bails?"
"Yes, Mama. Anything."
"Fix the bonds that broke. You never know what could happen."
I thanked her and hung up.
I walked down the stairs slowly, nervous at what I was about to do. "Guys? Can I talk to all of you for a minute?"
The boys all turned to look at me from the living room. Griffin paused the movie that they had been watching. "What's up, Bailey?"
I stood in front of them, scared out of my mind. "I need to apologize to all of you. I have been less than fun to be around the last few days, and I'm really sorry for that. Griffin, I know I was kind of shitty to you, and I hope that we can still be friends. Josh, I reacted poorly earlier this morning, and I'm sorry. I will still need some time to process, but I hope that that's a process we can work through together. Bryce, you are the best brother in the entire world, and I'm sorry that I let my ego get in the way of you just trying to help."
There were murmurs of 'it's okay.'
"I also need to thank you guys. Jaden, Blake, you guys have been there for me one hundred percent the last few days, and I'm so grateful for that. Kio, Noah, Quinton, Anthony, I hope that we can all get to know each other better and become friends. Please don't hesitate to call me out on my bullshit, because we all know someone needs to."
The boys laughed. "Group hug?" Noah suggested.
The group hug lasted entirely too long, and I pulled away, cutting it short. "I have a couple of stops that I need to make. You know, a few more people that i need to apologize to. Don't wait up."
I waited outside for my Uber. When I got in, I sat back, relaxing as I went over what I needed to say in my head. "Thank you," I said, getting out.
I walked up to the gate, terrified of what I was about to do. "Yes? Can I help you?"
"Hi, yes. My name is Bailey Hall, and I'm here to see Tayler Holder."
The security guard buzzed me in, and I waited patiently in the foyer for Tayler. "What are you doing here?" he asked, descending the stairs.
"I needed to apologize. I used you when I was drunk, and that was wrong of me. I tried to keep it going when I was sober, and I should have nipped that in the bud. I'm so sorry, Tayler. My intention was never to hurt you, I swear."
He nodded. "I get it. You were going through some shit. Most of us are. It's okay. I hope that we can still be friends though. I like hanging out with you a lot, and hey, even if we aren't dating, I don't mind a little hookup every once in awhile."
I laughed at that. "As much as I would love to stay, I have some more people that I need to apologize to."