OCTAVIA
WAKING UP early in the morning has never been my forte, especially when there's a goddamn alarm violently ringing not only beside my bed, but echoes inside my restless mind as well. It is absolutely nerve-triggering for someone who haven't had any proper sleep for the past few days.
I had enough.
Iritang bumangon ako mula sa pagkakahiga sa malawak na kama at inabot 'yung alarm na hanggang ngayon ay nagri-ring para ibato sa kung saan.
BLAG!
Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang tumahimik ang buong paligid kaya nahiga na ulit ako at pumikit para matulog. Now, it's peacefully silent. Much better. I couldn't care less if it's broken into pieces, my short patience cannot keep up with it, if I ever have one.
Knock! Knock!
"Hija, bumangon ka na. Alam mo namang unang araw ng pasukan ninyo, naglasing ka pa kagabi. Ngayon, sinira mo na naman 'yang alarm mo. Nagsasayang ka ng pera. Hindi mo naman nagagamit 'yung alarm at sinisira mo lang, bili ka pa nang bili."
Oh, my goodness!
I groaned in painful annoyance and immediately got up, feeling as drowsy as I could ever be. Naupo ako sa kama at masakit ang ulo na sumandal sa headboard ng kama. The pain brutally struck my head without mercy, slowly torturing every bit of me. Nakakairita. Tumahimik nga 'yung alarm, si yaya naman ang pumalit.
"Ayan, sinabi kasing 'wag na umino---"
"Yaya, please." Pagtawag ko at tinaas ang isang kamay para pahintuin siya sa mga sinasabi niya. Inaantok na nagmulat ako ng mga mata at masama siyang tinignan.
"Alam ko na, okay? My head hurts like hell, tapos nanenermon ka pa." I pointed out with a clear annoyance. Sanay naman na siya sa akin.
Umiling siya at may binulong pa na hindi ko na narinig. "Oh, siya, sige at bumangon na. Maligo na ro'n. Mal-late ka na."
Kahit na sobrang sakit ng ulo at antok na antok pa ako ay sumunod na lang ako. Kumuha ako ng towel at pumasok na sa loob ng banyo.
I stripped off everything and opened the shower. The cold water immediately relaxed my body. It made me breathe a little better. Mataas naman ang tolerance ko sa alcohol, it's just that, napasobra yata kagabi.
I sighed while taking a bath. I remembered what happened last night, and the very reason why I'm annoyed until now.
I love reading books. And, there's this one particular book that really took my interest. It's romance. It has several seasons and the ending of it really broke me. I am utterly disappointed. Namatay 'yung dalawang bida. Where's the freaking justice? Sayang ang effort kong basahin mula umpisa. Kung alam ko lang na tragic ay hindi ko na sana binasa pa.
Napailing na lang ako at winaksi ang nasa isip. I'm already having a bad mood. Nang matapos maligo ay nagsuot na ako ng bathrobe habang nagpupunas ng buhok.
I stretched my arms to ease the tension between my muscles. I combed my hair upwards using my fingers and heaved a sigh. Everything feels painfully empty.
Napatingin ako sa uniform na nakalatag sa kama na hinanda na pala ni Yaya. It is a white long sleeves polo, a black necktie with the logo of my chosen course, and a maroon blazer with the university's logo paired with a black pencil cut skirt.
First day of school again. Great. Wala pa nga pero pagod na ako. Lahat ay nakakawalang gana. Everything seems to be worthless, all because of the growing void that stole the happiness that I'm seeking.
I shook my head with the inappropriate thoughts circulating in my mind. Napatingin pa ako sa bedside table kung saan may gamot para sa hangover. Everything is neatly prepared, as well as my favorite caramel coffee. That's so sweet of my Yaya.
It is the first day, and I hope that there won't be anyone who will ruin my already ruined day.
_____
I stared at the name of our school while heading inside. HAJI UNIVERSITY, I read. A well-known prestigious university where the elites of the society can study. It offers the best quality of education that anyone would desire to acquire for themselves. Mataas ang passing rate nila sa mga board exams, at mas madali silang nakakakuha ng work kung gugustuhin nila.
Its tuition fee isn't a joke, that's why only a few can afford. Most of the students here are the heirs and heiresses of their family. But, they also offer scholarship to those students who can meet their high standards and requirements. May entrance exam and scholarship exam naman, mahirap nga lang, according to those who failed to pass it.
"Good morning, ma'am."
"Morning, miss!"
Graciously walking my way inside the reputable university, the students and staff greeted me with respect. Who wouldn't do that when they're well aware of my well-known family? They only respect those of high status. Unfair, yes.
Kinuha ko ang cell phone sa bulsa ng suot kong skirt habang naglalakad patungo sa building namin. Nakapag-park naman ako nang maayos sa parking lot. Hindi na ako nakaabot sa first subject kaya susunduin ko na lang 'yung dalawa para sabay na kaming pumunta sa second subject.
I haven't had any breakfast aside from my favorite coffee. I don't have the slightest appetite. Sa lunch na lang siguro ako kakain.
Napangiwi ako nang makitang sabog ang notification sa phone ko. I've got fifty-one missed call and thirty messages, both from my dearest friends. What's with the number of calls? Magkakasama lang kami kagabi.
Siguradong tapos naman na ang klase nila dahil nakita kong naglalabasan na ang mga estudyante sa classroom. Ang sakit nila sa mata. Crowd irritates me. Ang ingay. Napangisi na lang ako nang makita 'yung dalawang kaibigan ko.
"Hey, Tori." Bati ko nang makalapit pero tinaasan niya lang ako ng isang kilay. The audacity of this woman. That stoic expression she displays is honestly bothersome.
"Buti naisipan mo pang pumasok?" She asked, sarcastically, carefully scanning me from head to toe to check if I am doing fine.
"Yeah, of course. My day isn't complete without seeing that annoyed face of yours." I answered without any interest that made her scoff.
Victori Wyn Fernandez. I know, it is weird to have that kind of name. Redundant. She's the only person who can tolerate my attitude aside from parents, of course. I've known her since I was a teenager. Wala naman siyang choice kundi ang magtiis.
"Good morning, Octa. Kumusta ang tulog? Masarap ba?"
Lumipat ang paningin ko kay Lexi na nakangiti sa akin at panay ang kaway sa mga estudyante na kilala niya. Mukha siyang senador sa pagkaway niya.
Eilexi Hexar. I don't actually know how the hell is she my friend, but all I know is that, she's close with Tori. As in super close. Sila ang laging magkasama. Mabait naman siya, pero parehas silang weird.
"You can speak English, Lexi. No one will stop you." I adviced and confidently turned my back on them.
She's a half-French and she's still learning how to speak Tagalog until now. Naiintindihan ko naman, ang cringe lang talaga pakinggan dahil matigas ang accent niya.
Ang daming estudyante habang paakyat kami ng third floor para sa second subject. Ang ingay pa nila. Ang sakit sa mata. Ang sakit sa ulo. Feels like it will be a long day.
"I told you, dapat umuwi na tayo nang maaga kagabi. Look at you, puyat, masakit ang ulo. It's the first day of school and yet you look like you already went through the disaster." Sermon ni Tori habang nakasunod silang dalawa sa akin kaya salubong ang kilay na binalingan ko siya habang patuloy sa paglalakad.
"Just stop, okay? I had enough sermon with Yaya, 'wag mo na dagdagan. Alam ko na, hmm?" Masama ang tingin na pagpapatigil ko dahil siguradong may idudugtong pa 'yan. Hanggang dito ba naman. Ugh. Can't she get any hint?
Walang gana niya lang ako na tinignan bago nagkibit balikat at inakbayan si Lexi na busy na cell phone niya. They must be comfortable with each other to do those kind of gestures. Just the thought of doing that to someone is enough to make me sick.
Maglalakad na sana ulit ako nang sandali akong tumigil sa pangunguna sa paglalakad nang sumakit na naman ang ulo ko. For a moment, there's that creeping familiar pain again. It makes me want to vomit.
I immediately shut my eyes close and softly massaged my temple to ease the pain. I'm aware that it's not the pain from hangover, but something else. I did some breathing exercises to calm myself.
"Mine..."
I gradually clenched my jaw as I heard a soft whisper inside my head. It is indeed gentle yet possessive. Hindi na nakakatuwa. Flashbacks of something I'm not aware of keeps on bothering me; it caged me into the darkness of nothingness, preventing me to see the hope of life. I don't know who it was. I don't even have any freaking clue because my family won't tell me anything.
"Octavia, you okay?" Tori approached me when she saw my reaction.
Nagmulat ako ng mga mata at huminga nang malalim. Tumango na lang ako at inalis 'yung pagkakahawak niya sa balikat ko. She may have that unbothered expression but worry is painted in her brown eyes. I never like to be touched even if she's a close and trusted friend.
"I'm fine." I dismissed the topic and crossed my arms while walking. Nauna na ako. I can't stand seeing the worry in their eyes while I remain clueless to everything.
"Anong topic kanina?" Tanong ko para mawala sa akin ang atensyon nila habang nakasunod pa rin sila sa akin sa likuran ko.
"Nothing. Introduce yourself lang saka mga magiging topic for the whole semester." Lexi answered. "Nagugutom ako. Libre nga, Octa." Pangungulit niya pa.
"Mayang lunc—"
"Oh, my God! Sandali!"
Kunot-noong humarap ako sa direksyon nung dalawang napakabagal maglakad at nakita na may hinahanap sa bag si Lexi. Ang lakas ng boses niya. Si Tori naman ay nakatitig lang nang mariin doon sa huli.
"Nakalimutan ko 'yung notebook ko. Sandali, babalik ako." Nagpa-panic na paalam niya at nagmamadaling tumalikod. She's always careful with her stuff. Si Tori naman ay nakalabi na hindi alam kung kanino sasama sa amin.
"Samahan mo na. I'll go first." Pagpapaalis ko sa kan'ya dahil sila naman 'tong hindi mapaghiwalay. Mauna na lang ako sa classroom.
"You take care."
Sakto naman na pagharap ko sa daanan ay halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang may isang... bata? Na nakatayo sa harapan ko at nakatitig nang mariin sa akin!
"What?" Iritang tanong ko dahil hindi ko gusto ang mga titig na binibigay niya sa akin.
I freaking swear, I felt goosebumps with the way she intently stare at me with those piercing eyes. Ni hindi ko man lang narinig ang yabag ng mga paa niyang nakalapit sa akin. She's fearlessly standing in front of me with a complete confidence and elegance, as though she's made of absolute perfection and no one can defy that.
She has an adorable angelic face even with that thick silver eyeglass. Inosente ang maamong mukha niya na mukhang walang gagawing masama. Maputi siya at... maliit. As in maliit. Bata nga siguro. Hanggang balikat ko lang umabot ang height niya.
She's not wearing a uniform so I'm not certain if she's a transferee. Pero, ang luwag ng suot niyang puting long sleeves polo at malaki ang dalang sling bag na mukhang ang bigat para sa kan'ya. Mukha siyang hanger sa itsura niya.
"Kid, this is a College building. Sa kabila ang sa Junior High." Tinuro ko pa dahil baka naligaw lang.
She tilted her head to the side as though observing me carefully. "Hindi ako bata." Simpleng sagot niya kaya napaismid ako. The guts of this kid to talk to me.
"Yeah, right." I just agreed. Lalagpasan ko na sana siya nang bigla niya akong hawakan sa braso at harapin ako.
A line of my patience was suddenly cut off when she dare to touch me. I didn't like it. I didn't like how the warm touch of her skin feels something inside as though I am triggered.
"Don't touch me." Banta ko at inagaw ang braso ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya. Sinamaan ko rin siya ng tingin.
"Sorr— ah!"
"Hala, sorry, miss!"
I wasn't able to gather my thoughts well at how fast everything happened. Namalayan ko na lang na may nagtatakbuhan at nabangga nila itong bata, at dahil magkaharap kami ay nabangga niya rin ako!
I've lost balanced at the impact. Napapikit ako nang mapahiga ako sa malamig na sahig at siya naman ay basta nahulog sa ibabaw ko. I couldn't hear anything but the unwonted beating of my heart as I shut my eyes close.
The next thing I knew when I opened my eyes, I'm hugging her and t-this girl...
What the hell!
This girl's lips is pressed on mine!
Nervous, my eyes grew wide, my body is still in the state of shock, making me helpless and unable to move. It's a kiss. It's definitely a kiss. Naramdaman ko ang malambot niyang labi na nakalapat sa akin.
It's a first. It's a first kiss!
"Hala!" Napasinghap itong babae at imbes na umalis mula sa pagkakadagan sa akin ay basta siya naupo sa bandang sikmura ko!
The audacity?!
"'Yung salamin ko, hala." Bulong niya pa at dali-daling umalis sa pagkakaupo sa akin nang mahanap 'yung salamin niya.
What the f*ck?! Mas inuna niya pa 'yung salamin niya kaysa sa akin na walang habas niyang nahalikan?!
I immediately composed myself at the realization of everything. Mabilis na tumayo ako at nagpagpag ng damit. Naabutan ko 'yung maliit na bata na nagpupunas ng salamin at sinuot na niya.
After what happened, she ignored me like it was nothing. The nerve of this kid!
The day has just started and yet, I'm already this annoyed. I've never felt so pissed until this freaking kid happened.
Nakakairita siya! Never in my life that I expected that I'll lose my first freaking kiss over a kid and a girl at the top of that. I never gave it to anyone. Not even to my suitors and past relationships, and I'm not planning to give it to anyone so soon.
"Y-You..." Nanginginig sa inis na hinatak ko sa braso 'tong bata kaya gulat siyang napalingon sa akin nang maayos niya ang salamin niya.
"Are you aware of what did you just do?" Iritang tanong ko, at mas lalong nakakairita 'yung mukha niyang inosente na parang walang ginawang kasalanan.
"Ah, sorry." Simpleng paumanhin niya habang mariin ang titig sa akin na parang inoobserbahan ang reaksyon ko kaya napapalatak ako sa inis.
"Sorry? 'Yan lang ba masasabi mo? Damn. You kissed me!" Turo ko pa sa sarili ko at marahas na nilapit ang mukha sa kan'ya.
Matapang siyang nakatingin sa akin pero nag-iisip. Those piercing eyes were... tenebrous. There's a spark of tremendous darkness. Matapos ang ilang segundong pagtitig sa akin ay... n-napanguso siya!
"Hindi ko naman sadya, e." Nakangusong sagot niya at napangiwi nang higpitan ko ang hawak sa kanang braso niya. "Nabunggo lang din naman ako. Bakit ka ba galit?"
Hindi makapaniwalang tinignan ko siya dahil sa sinabi niya. Bakit ako galit? Talagang nagtanong siya? Bakit ako galit?!
"That is my first kiss, you little nerd. It is extremely precious to me, and you're acting like it's freaking nothing!" Pagpapaintindi ko at hindi man lang siya mukhang natakot. Her eyes started to spark with curiosity and mischievousness.
"Sorry na nga—"
"Anong magagawa ng sorry mo?"
"Wala. Nakuha ko na nga. Ano rin magagawa ng galit mo?" She shamelessly pointed out and I was left utterly speechless!
Sinagot ako nang gan'yan? For real?
"Listen here, you little—"
"Hindi ako maliit. Hindi rin ako bata. Kita mong ang tangkad mo."
"F*ck!" Gigil na sigaw ko sa mga sinasagot niya. She's getting into my nerves, big time.
"Huy, cursing is bad." Nagsalubong ang makapal na kilay niya at nginuso ang kamay kong nakahawak sa braso niya. "Ang sakit na. Pakitanggal. Mal-late pa ako sa class."
Hindi ko maintindihan. I cannot comprehend the things she's saying even if we share the same language. It is as though what happened never meant anything to her, and it's getting into my nerves because it means a lot to me.
Where is she getting that kind of confidence? It is absolutely annoying. So, that's it? Gano'n lang mangyayari?
"One more inappropriate answer and you'll regret it." I threatened while clenching my jaw and suppressing my building anger, losing the little patience I have.
Napaatras siya nang isa at mukhang kinabahan. Lumapit pa ako habang iniisip kung anong magandang gawin sa kan'ya—
"S-Susumbong kita kay mama!" Banta niya rin habang salubong ang kilay na nakatitig sa akin.
The hell? Mukha siyang chihuahua na galit.
Magsasalita pa sana ako nang biglang tumunog ang bell kaya natigil ako. This little kid in front of me abruptly used the chance to get out of my grip, and suddenly run her way out of the building.
Naiwan akong nakatayo at nakatulala sa dinaanan niya. I clenched my fist as I felt the unpleasant feeling at the pit of my stomach. Napapikit ako para ikalma ang sarili dahil baka kung ano ang magawa ko sa kan'ya.
"Octavia, what are you still doing there? Tara na." I heard Tori approaching my direction. "Bakit lukot 'yang damit mo?"
"Ba't ka naman d'yan nakapikit? Inaantok ka pa ba? Mamaya ka na matulog, 'wag dito sa hallway." Lexi asked with curiosity while holding a green notebook in her hand. I'm catching my breathe, trying to calm myself.
Hindi sila nakakatulong. Mas lalo lang sumasakit ang ulo ko. Please, give me back my patience so I can survive the whole day.
That girl and I will definitely meet each other again.