*Trigger warning: emotional chapter*
"Well, if it isn't little Sutty Anstein."
Davie Samson stands before me, his bulky arms crossed in front of him while Taylor Whitfield hangs off of his arm. The smile on her face is nothing but wicked as she watches me. Her eyes narrow once Seren grabs my hand, at this point already seeing my sudden mood drop.
"You left years ago, and would you look at that? You're back." Davie laughs, shaking his head. The posse behind him follows along.
"Just visiting," I mumble, my voice stuttering and causing me to become embarrassed. After all this time, I still can't stand up to my old bullies.
"And here I thought you had run away," Taylor says, stepping forward. Even though she's addressing me, her eyes are on Seren. She sizes her up, her brown eyes narrowing even more. "Back to see us, Sutty? I missed you terribly."
I'm taken back to six years ago when Taylor first noticed me. All of our classes were basically the same, which meant we kind of followed each other around. That didn't include lunch when we'd go our separate ways, but during the other periods, we were together.
One day, she took one look at me and told me to leave her alone. That was right in the middle of a crowded hallway and she wasn't afraid to use her lungs. I remember being so embarrassed and stuttering out an explanation. I—I'm in all your classes. She didn't care, and neither did anyone else in her group.
The bullying got worse after that. Not only was I Sutty the freak, I was also labeled a creep, a pervert, and a desperate little virgin. And when she started dating Davie, life just became unbearable.
Until I left.
On the chance I sound like a jerk, seeing them here in the same place, with the same people, I'm proud of who I am. Davie Samson is still living in this small town and dating his high school girlfriend while hanging with his high school friends. While there's not really anything wrong with that, I'd like to think that I made something out of myself. I got away, and I have experienced so much that comes with life.
"And anyways, who is this? Don't tell me Sutty has a woman." Davie laughs, and it causes a domino effect among his friends. I see that hasn't changed in the four years I've been away.
Despite my eyes being on Davie, I can just tell the face Seren is making. She's not at all amused by the people standing before us. When she takes a step forward, I want to pull her back and shield her from their terrible words. But I know better than that. Seren is a grown woman and she's far superior to me.
"I'm nobody's woman. I'm not an object, so don't make it sound like Sutton owns me." Her words are calm, but firm. She talks down to Davie as if he's a child and with how he acts, I reckon he is. "The term you're looking for is significant other. Yes, I am Sutton's significant other, but I really don't think that's any of your business.
Taylor scoffs and steps forward. Placing her hands on her hips, she tilts her head to the side. "And who do you think you are?"
"I just told you I'm Sutton's significant other. I didn't think you all were hard of hearing too."
"Maybe you should reign your bitch in, Sutt—"
"Call him Sutty one more time and I won't hesitate to show you just how much of a bitch I can be." I've never heard Seren sound so powerful. Her tone is deadly, leaving no room for anyone to go against her. "So this is what people like you do in small towns? You sit around waiting for something to happen in your life after you've pissed it all away. Just when you catch sight of someone from your past, you rush in, acting like you've lost your damn mind. Oh... but you're acting how you were in your prime, right?"
All of them stand in confusion. They don't know what's happening or they just can't fathom the fact that someone is standing up to them. What they fail to realize is that they never stood a chance against the queen before me.
"Let me break things down for you," Seren says, taking a step forward. Taylor scrambles against Davie, grabbing his arm and clutching it close. "You aren't in high school anymore. No one gives a fuck about who you are. Not anymore. You were the man in high school. Good for you. That's over, and you're nobody now. But let me tell you something about the man standing behind me.
"He's more of a man than you will ever be. Instead of sitting here and reminiscing about the past, he's making a life for himself and forgetting any of the assholes who fucked with him before. Sutton has never once needed to be a bully to make himself feel good or to make himself bigger. I don't know what the fuck your problem is with my boyfriend or you know what, just in general, but that stops today. Whatever you're overcompensating for, seek therapy, dick."
Silence takes over the entire building. Even the sounds of cooking have stopped. It seems we've gathered a hefty audience since starting whatever this is.
"Let's go, Sutton. We'll find somewhere else to eat." Seren crosses her arms as she walks past my previous bullies. With a dropped jaw and wide eyes, I run after her to catch up.
In the fresh cold, I take a satisfying deep breath. Seren is still walking ahead of me, despite not knowing where to go. When she's a hefty distance away, I jog over to her and grip her shoulder in a soft hold. She flinches for a moment before I realize that she was trying to snatch her shoulder away. But when she looks at me, she sighs and relaxes.
We don't speak as I lead her to another restaurant; a local diner that's always been pretty chill. Stepping inside, the smell of cooking meat and fries causes my stomach to growl. It's been so long since I've been here that my mind is tricking me. The bright red decorum of the interior looks more vibrant. My eyes strain as I glance around the place. Tabletops are the color of cartoon cherries, as is the trim on each wall. The wallpaper is checkered to give the illusion the place is from the fifties. Black and white photos of old idols line the place. I've always loved that about it.
Seren leads the way to a booth. The cushion squeaks a little as she slides in. Scrambling after her, I bump my leg against the table as I take my seat. With a hiss, I rub the spot, knowing a bruise will form. We've not been here a day and I've already had an unwanted counter and I've bruised myself up.
"Demons from your past, huh?" Seren questions as she plucks the laminated menu from its holder. Her eyes scan the words, not bothering to even look at me.
A sigh leaves me, though I already knew this talk was coming. The event just happened, but Seren is never one to beat around the bush. If she finds the topic worthy enough to talk about, then she'll do so and she won't hold back.
That's something I've come to learn about Seren. It's also refreshing and one of the things I love about her.
"Yeah," I mumble, nodding my head.
"Kind of assholes, aren't they?" She looks at me, a curious tilt to her lips.
Even if I've just had an altercation with my old bullies, I can't help the grin on my face as I stare at the woman before me. "You have no idea."
Her eyebrow raises as she closes the menu and puts it back. "Then you can tell me all about it while we smash this food."
As soon as the words leave her mouth, a waiter comes over to us. His familiar face is beaming with a smile and his familiar hands adjust the short apron around his waist. My smile drops as the guy stops in front of our table. And when he gives a curious glance at me, I hold my breath.
"Sutty!" he exclaims, his smile becoming more animalistic as the seconds pass. The friendly grin is gone, instead now replaced with the face of a predator. "Damn, boy, I didn't ever think I'd see this pretty little face of yours again."
"And I didn't think we'd be encountering another dick so soon," Seren speaks up, placing her chin in her crossed hands. "But here we are. Looks like a lot of you guys are lurking around."
The smile on Dean Carson's face falls, matching the pace of a NASCAR racer. His pale fists clench until the skin is stark white. His jaw tightens, and I wonder if any of his teeth are hurting.
As Davie's best friend, bullying me has always been second nature to Dean. The two are thicker than cinder blocks, having been friends since they were in diapers. Where Davie speaks with his fists, Dean does his damage with sharp words and insults. Somehow, Dean's terrible words have always been more painful than any jab Davie Samson has ever given me.
"I forgot that bitches don't know their place nowadays," Dean spits, the smile dropping and being replaced with a sneer.
My stomach coils in disgust. I hadn't ever realized how sexist the jerks in my town are. Like birds of the same feather, both Davie and Dean have called Seren a bitch just for standing up for me. To hear Dean go as far as saying women don't know their places is just disgusting.
"You must be the other guy's brother." Seren raises an eyebrow, an amused smile on her face. "He basically said the same thing. But I'm always happy to put someone else in their place. By the looks of it, you've never heard the word 'no' in your entire life."
The hot headed blonde opens his mouth to retort when a hand lands on his shoulder. The pink manicured nails pinch his skin. From behind Dean steps an older woman, maybe in her thirties. Her smile sits tight on her face, her eyes crinkling as she drills holes into the side of Dean's head. Tilting her head to the side, she regards Seren and me with a more friendly look.
"I'm so sorry, folks. I'm still trying to whip this guy into shape." She turns to face Dean again, a glare on her face. "Please go cool down in the back. I don't want to see you until you're tame," she commands, scoffing. After Dean stomps away, the woman faces us with a smile. "So, what can I get the two of you?"
***
The sky outside is stale. Gray tinted clouds hide the white sun away. The weather isn't nice enough to call the sun yellow, not in Crystalwood. Around this time, the flaming star develops a different color and the tones outside become dull.
It's gotten colder out, the wind picking up more. Trees sway hard around us and walking is a slight struggle.
"I never considered myself normal, not with those types of people lurking around," I say as soon as we reach my porch. "It was always hard to get a grasp on life. I became an easy punching bag for most of the top dogs during my adolescent years; all the way up till I left."
Seren takes a seat on one of the chairs. She shifts, getting comfortable, and I know she's giving me time to gather myself.
Sighing, I settle in the other one and drop my head into my hands. "Things were already hard because my mom had my brother and I kind of young. Dustin and I are five years apart and she had him at sixteen. I'm sure you can imagine that small towns like this frown at teen pregnancy. We were already outcasts, no matter how hard my mom worked. Pair that with my dad ditching us and our family just became pariahs.
"But Dustin was fine. He's always had a knack for making people like him. That's just him, but me... not so much. I think, uh, my mom may have sheltered me a bit too much. It kind of made me weird around people and I've never fit in. It just became easy for everyone to pick on me. I'm too quiet, too shy, too feminine."
I didn't think this talk would drain me so fast, but here I am; I'm ready to lie down and never get up again. My mind trails to all the times my tormentors have cornered me, forced to listen to their insults about me, about my mom. Images of a crying boy and a gang of laughing kids stick in my head.
A punch and push here and there. That's what I would get for not answering their questions. People yelling in my ears, calling me that horrid nickname, and finding joy in my pain. There was always retaliation for getting Dustin or my mom involved. After too many incidents, I just learned to keep quiet about everything. I got used to being silenced.
"Do you still believe everything they've ever said?" Seren asks, tilting her head and giving me a blank stare. I can't tell what she's thinking.
"It's hard to convince myself otherwise." I frown, looking away from her. It hurts my head to think about this. "You hear the same words over and over again until it's engraved in you. You get dealt with so much shit until you're too scared to even look at people. Everyone becomes a possible predator to people like me, people who can't hold their own against the strong. I'm weak, Seren."
She moves, but I know my reactions are just delayed. Before I know it, she's kneeling in front of me with a concerned look on her face. Seren has never looked so worried, but I'm just happy to not see pity in her eyes. That would only make me think she's with me to make me feel better about myself.
"It takes time to heal an open wound that keeps getting poked at," she mumbles, staring up at me. "But that doesn't mean it'll never heal. You've faced toxicity your whole life; this town is blind to the shit that goes on. Not by accident, but by choice. No one ever should have allowed this to happen to you."
I bite my lip and go to look away, but Seren grips my chin in her gentle hand. Her hold keeps my face pointed in her direction. She keeps me grounded even though I want to turn away.
"I won't let you fall deeper into whatever hole those people dug for you, Sutton. I will never let you consume yourself in a ball of self hate and doubt." Firm. That's what her tone is. Not an ounce of determination leaks out of her, as if she knows she's right.
Shaking my head, I huff. "I don't think I'll ever be normal."
"That's why people say fuck normalcy. I don't think you need to change. In fact, I love who you are as a person."
I want to be happy with her words, but I can't. Not when dark thoughts fill my mind. Not when all I can think about is the past and the words that hurt so much before and still now.
Seren stands up and bends. Gripping both my cheeks, she presses her forehead against mine. My response is automatic as I close my eyes and bask in the fruity scent that accompanies her. We breathe each other in, our puffs of air being the only warmth in this chill.
"I'll catch you every time you fall, Sutton. I promise you that."