michelle pfeiffer- ethel cain
AN- here's some sexy action for u to keep you happy- even though im literally a 17 year old virgin. but tbh, i used to write smut in church when i was like 14, so ive pretty much always needed an exorcism (: enjoy lol
Jace
I hadn't actually expected Noah to come into my room. Obviously, we were joking. He was just joking.
But still, a part of me had hoped. And it fucking terrified me.
I don't know what I'd expected, or what I would have done if he had showed up- but I knew that sending those texts, even if they were just a mindless back and forth, had done something strange to me. I let girls touch me all the time just so I could feel something, and it wasn't bad- but it wasn't special either.
If one thing was for sure, though, I'd never been more turned on than I was then. After making dick jokes. With Noah fucking Quinn.
It was beyond me why I'd decided to flirt with him in the first place. I was straight, but even so, straight friends flirtatiously joking with each other wasn't abnormal. But we weren't friends. Not in the slightest. He and I despised each other, and yet, he'd flirted back. And I'd actually enjoyed it.
After sitting alone for minutes that felt more like hours, asking myself just what I was waiting for, I headed into the shower between our rooms. I had to fix my... problem. It made no sense, me being hard. I didn't want to touch it and admit that it was real, but even the hot water and soothing red lights couldn't block out a certain pair of innocent blue eyes. I braced my hands against the tiled wall, letting my hair plaster across my forehead, wet. Fuck, I hated him. I hated him, I hated him, I hated him.
And in thoughts of hating him, and ruining him, and touching him, I let my hand slide between my legs. I wrapped my fingers around my length and slowly started to move, up and down and up and down. And with every painfully blissful movement, shame and guilt and confusion flowered like a flame in my chest; but lust smothered them with its body, laying itself over my heart and tipping its head back in unison with mine.
My neck outstretched, I tugged faster, imagining that smaller, softer hands were the ones turning me into a moaning wet mess under the stream of water. Pleasure. The hot and heavy kind, running through my veins like it was molten, and I panted as I flicked a thumb over my leaking tip. I imagined he was there, enveloped in the steam with me, caressing his hands all over my body and calling me names that made my mind burn white. I pictured I was running my hands through his dripping, raven curls, dragging my tongue and teeth over his pulse like some lust crazed vampire, sinking myself into him and marking my territory. I wanted to punish him, to let him know that he was mine. I fucking detested the fact that I was thinking of him. But there he was, alive in my mind like a disease I didn't want to cure.
In my mind, Noah moaned underneath my body, digging his nails into my shoulders and arching his back. I thought about him wrapping his tongue around me, eyes boldly trained on mine. I could almost feel my fingers slipping between his legs, and then my firm length, and the gasp that he would make when I slammed forward and hit that spot inside him. Thighs shaking, he'd have my hair in his hands. Riding, riding, riding-
"Noah," I moaned, as I furiously stroked. I punched the wall as the pressure started to build, not caring about the pain. The thought of him was far more painful, and a wound I wore often. He made me angry- so fucking angry. I wasn't even gay, yet there he was, dirty and soaking behind the red steam of my imagination. "Fucking Noah."
All I saw was his slim, pale form, thick hair and dark eyelashes framing that damn, sea blue gaze. He was my favourite color. I wanted to drink him up. I wanted to feel his hands in places that no one else dared touch, and I wanted to make him unholy.
I came abruptly into my hand.
The liquid spurted up the shower wall, but I didn't care, too exhausted to not slump against it.
I didn't like him in that way. I didn't like him at all. And yet there he was, kneeling in front of me to whisper things into my skin that nobody, nowhere, had ever said to me before.
But that was the thing with mirages and illusions. They looked like everything you'd ever wanted at first, but up close, they were just a reminder that you were alone. That you had nothing. Noah was a trick of the light, a body of water always beautiful, and always out of reach. Not that I wanted to reach him, anyway. There was nothing between us but too many miles of contempt and heartache. But I hated him for putting those images in my head, no matter how untrue they were. And I hated, that for once, someone had touched me with hands that couldn't hurt me if they tried.
~~~
Noah
"It's Helena Chang's party. We're going." I made a soft sound of grief, and Pacey stared at me, incredulous. "Did you miss the part where I said it's Helena's party? As in, the It Girl? The extremely hot It Girl that for some reason personally invited you?"
Just hours before, I'd received the scariest notification of my life.
Helena wants to follow you.
Shaking, crying and throwing up wasn't the easiest response, but still. I'd considered it.
Plus she wanted me, personally, to come to her party. Either the girl had acquired some form of amnesia in the last few days, or she was into crazed stalkers. Somehow, the sugary death threat I dropped onto her doorstep wasn't enough to get me on America's Most Wanted.
"She's not that hot," Beth mumbled.
He stared at her. "You know what is hot? Hell. And you're going. For that comment alone."
Lee rolled his eyes. "Pace, we weren't even invited. Noah was."
"Wait," I said, eyes widening. "You think I'm going alone? I hate parties."
"You're literally the lamest person I know," Bethany declared, before sighing, as if in pity. "You don't hate parties, babe. You've just never been invited to one."
"That's besides the point. Also, rude, and way too much of a personal attack," I argued. "You can't make me go."
"Well if I can't go, you have to," huffed a very disappointed Pacey. "You just have to make friends with her so that I can get off with her hot, evil step-sisters, okay? For some bizzare reason, she actually likes you."
I blushed, and looked at the carpet. "Yeah right, Pace. Does not."
"Please. Does too."
"Totally does," Beth added. "Unlike Chesca and Brandy towards these two idiots."
"Okay," I said, a little quickly as an idea came to me. "I'll go."
There was a pause, as they stared at me like someone had killed their best friend and replaced him with a clone that actually liked going outside.
Lee frowned. "But you hate other people."
"Exactly! You guys are totally right. I should meet new people. Stop being such a loser." I grinned, trying to convince them of my sincerity.
While I couldn't rely much on the boys' mental capacities, Beth was like, scholar level smart. Too smart for my bullshit. In fact, I was pretty sure that the only reason she didn't question my terrible acting was so she could give me a makeover.
Still, it was definitely acting. If I wanted to stand in crowded rooms with drunk, horny teenagers, I'd- well- I'd seek psychological help immediately. But anyone who was anyone went to Helena's annual parties. And Jace was definitely Anyone.
He wasn't why I was so eager to go, or anything. Or the answer to Lee's burning questions about why I'd been so turned on earlier.
"Okay, this looks cute."
The brunette girl threw some clothes at me, and I looked in the mirror. "Beth. I look like a twink."
She rolled her eyes, and pushed me into the en-suite. "You always look like a twink. Now go, fair maiden. Get ready."
I grumbled, but did as I was told. As hard as it was to admit, I looked good in a tight shirt, rather than my usual baggy tees and sweaters.
"Wow," Lee grinned. "Someone looks pretty."
Pacey put a hand to his mouth as he pretended to cough, barely disguising the word 'bottom' in between his spluttering.
I glared at them, but Beth made a noise of joy and demanded a photo shoot, making me feel like I was ten years old and having my picture taken before the school dance. "Ignore those tasteless cowards. Pretty boys are hot."
Pacey instantly furrowed his brows. "Wait, really? Is that your type?" His confused and slightly worried expression grew as she ignored him. "Do girls like that? Beth? Beth Beth Beth Beth Beth Beth-"
"Fucking hell, someone help me find his off button. Pace, I'm sorry, but it's time to take the batteries out. Say goodbye."
I sighed loudly and dramatically, bringing their easily distracted attention back onto me.
"Guys, I'm going to my first party, and all you can do is argue. This is history in the making."
Pacey blinked at me. "That's great, buddy. Good luck. Get laid, tell the girls about my desirability. Now, where were we." He turned away dismissively, instantly engrossed in resuming his loud bickering with Bethany.
Lee groaned and threw himself back on the bed. "Dude," he said to the ceiling. "Please don't leave me with them."
The others were too distracted to even notice me motioning for Lee to follow me out of the room. We slipped away, and I explained how I would probably only survive with a plus one with me, and that Helena probably wouldn't mind, or would just be too drunk to care. I couldn't cling onto him all night, though. At some point, I'd search the crowds for a pair of brown eyes, and for reasons unknown, I didn't want them to be Lee's.
Twenty minutes later, we were outside the large house as it thumped with music. While Lee locked his car and I observed the drunk teenagers stumbling around the front lawn, I tried not to have flashbacks to the last time we were there- when we neared the front door, I didn't dare look down at the faint remnants of white icing on the pavement.
"Here goes nothing," said my best friend as we entered. The entrance was vast and crowded. There was a huge staircase in the middle of the stylish, modern room and flashing neon lights bounced over every surface. Through the throng of bodies, someone pushed through, calling my name.
"Noah! You actually came." Helena enveloped me in a hug as she swayed and I awkwardly patted her back, utterly confused as to why one of the most popular girls in school was treating me like her best friend. Lee ogled at her as she embraced him too. Yeah. She was definitely drunk.
"Here, have some of this," she yelled over the music, forcing a cup of bitter tasting alcohol down my throat. I spluttered, and pushed her hand away.
"I'm good, Helena. Thanks."
I was interrupted as Chesca and Brandy approached, causing me to change my mind and down the contents of my cup with a wince. Lee tensed, and slipped away into the crowd, leaving me to fend for myself.
"If it isn't Boner Quinn. What a surprise," said the strawberry blonde, fixing me with a critical gaze.
I actually laughed, shaking my head. "Very original, Chesca. You really thought that one through. It sounds just like my name."
Brandy ogled me, her words slurring slightly. "You're pretty."
"God, you slut. Don't talk to the creep," Chesca drawled. "You'll catch something."
The drunk blonde girl blushed underneath her brown skin, not meeting my eyes. "He's not a creep. I thought it was sweet."
Sweet? Why the hell did she think that?
"Ugh, whatever. Just stay away from her, Quinn." I smiled sarcastically at her. She had no idea how badly I wanted to do just that.
She took a sip from the red cup in her hand, and glared at me one last time. "I'm going to find Jace."
My attention sharpened and I grabbed her arm before I could stop myself. "Where is he?"
She made a disgusted sound and wrenched her wrist out of my grip. "Wouldn't you like to know, pervert. Also, touch me again, and I'm getting a restraining order. Ugh," she complained as she walked away, eyeing the place where I'd touched her with disdain. "Brandy, get it off me."
I sighed in exasperation. The blonde girl in front of me blushed and shifted awkwardly on her unsteady high heels. I wished I could've said something. I wished I wasn't so awful. But I was walking away, searching the crowd of people for the infuriating face that I knew so well.
secrets- max styler ft cxloe
I'd lost Lee, but my eyes were only searching for one Jackson brother.
And then, they found him.
He was standing there, letting Chesca run her manicured hands across his body. The room would have been completely dark if it wasn't for the coloured lights, and the purples and greens flashed across his face brilliantly. As the music built, his dark gaze met mine.
Even under the beat of the rhythm, I could hear my heart hammering against my chest, flying recklessly forward, like a bird with a broken wing. It wanted to push through skin and bone and break free to find him. It wanted to hear his own vessel beating in time, pulsating with something dark, and needy, and burning red- something that looked a lot like him.
Fuck. Why are you thinking like this?
Neither of us broke eye contact, and his iris's flickered with something unreadable.
And why can't you look away?
Someone bumped into me, and I snapped out of my trance. He looked back to the girl grinding on his front, seemingly unbothered by my presence again. Like I had never been there at all.
"Noah," a voice said from behind me, quiet under the booming speakers. I jumped and turned as elegant arms wrapped themselves around my middle to see Helena looking up at me, a dizzy, drunk smile on her face.
"Er, hey, Helena," I said nervously, unsure why she was so close. "H-how was your birthday?"
She leaned close as she spoke. "Better, now."
I swallowed, at a loss for words. A few days ago, she hadn't even known I existed, and now she was trying to dance with me. I should have been happy that I was being flirted with by one of the most popular people I'd ever known; it should have been a dream.
But instead, it just felt wrong.
Couples all over the huge dance floor were pressing their bodies together, sharing messy kisses as the music became more sultry. I decided to stop worrying about why I didn't want her, and to just enjoy myself. I needed to act like a normal, drunken teenager for once.
"Hey, Just Noah," said someone loudly as he walked past me.
"Enzo?" I replied, smiling despite my confusion that yet another popular person was talking to me.
"Someone cleans up good," he said with a grin, looking me up and down, before glancing at the girl who had her arms around me. "You er, you both do."
Helena leaned forward with a giggle and kissed his cheek, and his striking green eyes pleaded for help out of her line of sight, causing me to grin.
"Hey," he shouted, leaning in close to me as she pulled away so that he could be heard. "You want some of this?" He held up a bottle of clear liquid, and I tried not to look awkward. The truth was, I didn't really drink. Even trying a sip of Darren's wine made my nose crinkle- and more secretly, the thought of being drunk after what had caused the accident made my stomach churn with nausea.
But maybe, I just needed to forget.
I took it from him, almost desperate to see if it really would make me numb. I guess that wasn't exactly difficult for me.
Both of them laughed as I forced the unfamiliar burning liquid down my throat in large gulps, fighting back my wince. I almost instantly felt lightheaded, my muscles relaxing around Helena's body.
"Thanks. Er, Enzo?" He frowned, and I hesitantly continued. "Why are you here? Won't Jace be mad that you're talking to me?"
He smiled and rolled his eyes as we both turned to see the boy across the dance floor. He wasn't looking at us, but his fists were tightly curled in Chesca's dress, almost as if he'd only just looked away.
"He's always mad."
That was true. Except this time, it didn't make sense why he would be.
lights up- harry styles
The music changed into something almost sultry, and with the alcohol already making everything feel fuzzy and warm, I didn't care that it was Helena who was holding me. I wasn't exactly sure who I wanted it to be, but I imagined she was someone else. They were blurry in my mind, only a vague figment of my desire, but when I leaned in closer, I thought I could smell sandalwood.
Enzo left, brushing past my waist and lingering there for a moment to speak into my ear that he would see me later. I grinned at the comfort, my dulled senses begging for him to touch me again. I needed to be touched- by anyone and everyone. I hadn't really had proper affection in months, and for once in my life, I liked being seen, even if it was by the wrong eyes.
But my newfound friend had already disappeared, and so I let Helena smile into my neck and pull our hips together. I usually stayed inside and avoided parties cause of my anxiety, but the crowd and the darkness and the flashing lights were exactly the distraction I needed for once. I hated it, and yet loved the thrill. I had drunk too much to care about what the old me would have thought. He wasn't there, in that room. He was still drowning, somewhere at the bottom of the lake. But the foreign version of me couldn't have felt more alive, even if what I felt was the closest you could get to comfortably numb.
Suddenly, through the crowd, I found someone.
Jace was swaying with Chesca to the music, letting her pull him in for a kiss. My smile fell slightly as I watched them over Helena's shoulder. Entranced, I noticed their tongues meet slowly while he lazily kissed her back. That was before his brown eyes opened.
And instantly found mine.
I sharply inhaled, forgetting about the dull ache in my head and the girl attaching herself to my neck. I was enchanted, unable to break his gaze. He didn't break it either, and he deepened the kiss, never looking away from me. I had no idea what was going on, or what he was doing. But as the chorus was about to start, I pulled Helena's face to mine, and kissed her.
I'd never even kissed anyone before, but it didn't matter. She wasn't what I was focusing on. Instead, as our tongues met, I let my attention be pulled back to the brunet boy as he focused on me.
The music swelled, and his dark eyes burned with something intense that I couldn't quite place. Without looking away, he pulled Chesca closer to him, wrapping his tan arms around her middle. My breath caught in my throat, but I didn't miss the invitation. I instantly let my hands fall to Helena's hips as I dragged her lower half against me and ran my fingers over her backside. Something pinched in my gut and my jeans, but it wasn't because of her. I didn't want to know why, because I was afraid I already knew the answer.
His eyes flashed, and he grabbed the back of his dance partner's strawberry blonde hair, pulling her neck back to kiss it without ever breaking my line of vision. His tongue flicked out, white teeth grazing behind her ear. It was like I could almost feel him, pressing his body against mine in the middle of the crowd and letting neon lights envelop us within their glow. We were far apart, and yet impossibly intertwined; I lost all ability to breathe normally. I wanted to be closer- to reach out, and pull him in. I wanted the darkness in his eyes to swallow me whole.
He brought his lips back to hers, and hungrily he pressed their faces against one another. He wasn't really kissing her though, with his gaze flickering over every inch of me. And I wasn't really kissing Helena either.
I let my knuckles slide through her hair too, pretending that the sandy blonde strands were a darker shade. He followed my movements with his hungry gaze, his hands moving to grip her hips, grinding slightly against them. I almost forgot to kiss Helena back, my tongue stilling in shock. I felt so intoxicated under his lustful stare that I almost laughed. Nothing made sense. And yet, I wanted more.
The moment was broken as someone walked across the room and severed my line of vision, cutting us off from each other. I pulled away from Helena as I searched the crowd, but she pulled my face back to her, leading me to see myself reflected in the wrong pair of brown eyes.
"You okay?"
"Y-yeah," I stammered, frowning as my head started to pound. I was confused over what had just happened, and the alcohol running through my veins was weakening me.
"You didn't even drink that much, though." She was fixing me with a concerned look, holding me up by the arm.
I shook my head. I was fine. Nothing was wrong. I couldn't be drunk. I couldn't make that mistake.
"Noah?" Came a sweet and vaguely familiar voice. Corey had appeared, coming up to steady me. "Hey. Is he okay?"
My body swayed, betraying my thoughts, and I almost fell before they both grabbed fistfuls of my shirt. I was faintly aware of them talking, but the music and their voices had dulled down to a low hum.
"I- I have to... I need to go..." I slurred, breaking free from their grasp. Voices called out after me as I disappeared into the busy crowd, stopping them from following me. I stumbled into people, breathing heavily and trying to will my feet into moving forward.
Away from the throng of sweating bodies and flashing lights, I pulled myself along a dim hallway and stumbled into an open room. Everything was fading fast as the room spun around me. My vision blurring, I fell, unsure of my surroundings. I couldn't even speak, and panic fluttered in my chest as I started to lose movement in my limbs. All I could hear was a door opening, and someone- the wrong someone- saying my name as the world grew dark.
AN- the drama oh my god
what are your thoughts on this chapter? what do you think happened to noah?
also yes, the party scene was inspired by skam norway and france. i may have slightly reused it but it's too iconic so i had to okay 😪😪 let me live
thank you for reading my loves! -arabella