Now that the trial is over and the names of Cal Kestis and Ahsoka Tano are cleared, Anakin and I are taking a moment to speak with Padme. We are still in the same, awful Court Chamber within the Senate Building, although I have every intention of leaving once this conversation is over.
"Thank you, Padme. I don't know how far they would've gotten without you." I say, appreciation evident in my voice.
"I'm just glad you found Ventress. If you didn't, I don't think my words would've been enough." Padme replies.
What Padme doesn't understand is that she was their only hope up until I found Ventress. If I hadn't, their fate would have remained in her hands. I don't think she understands how big of a task that was, nor how well she handled it.
"Regardless, you got up in front of everyone and went against common belief. That's heroic, Padme." Anakin adds.
"I'd do anything for Cal and Ahsoka, just like I'd do anything for the two of you. If they were found guilty, I would have appealed the decision a thousand times over." She states.
I know Padme Amidala incredibly well, which is why I know she is being completely honest about this. She cares deeply for both Cal and Ahsoka, just like she cares deeply about us. If things had turned out differently, she would not have given up until they were proven innocent.
"Well we appreciate it." I say, speaking on behalf of us both.
"I know." She says with a smile. She reaches for a box resting on a bench by her side and holds it before us. "You'll probably want these back."
Anakin opens the box to reveal Cal's lightsaber and Ahsoka's lightsabers and Padawan chain. The fact that Padme has these on hand proves that she never intended on giving up on them. She planned to have their backs until the very end.
I take Cal's lightsaber hilt from the box and clip it to my belt. Anakin, on the other hand, takes Ahsoka's Padawan chain from the box and places it in his pocket, leaving the lightsabers inside. He takes the box from Padme and carries it in his mechanical hand.
"Thank you again, Senator Amidala." Anakin says graciously.
"You're welcome, Master Skywalker." She replies with a warm smile.
I clear my throat. "Still not a Master."
Anakin turns to me with a playful smile on his face. The whole Master thing became our own inside joke some time back. I distinctly remember him swearing that he would become a Jedi Master much earlier than most. I know I'm not a Master, and likely won't be until long after him, but it's still fun to joke about.
"It's only a matter of time." Anakin defends, his cute smile only growing larger.
Padme rolls her eyes at us both. She is very used to how we are around each other, and acting unamused by it is her go to.
"Anakin!" Obi Wan calls, gaining the attention of us all.
I turn to see Obi Wan making his way toward our small group. I don't get enough time to see Padme these days, and I would be lying if I said Obi Wan interrupting us did not annoy me.
"Yes, Master?" Anakin asks.
His voice still maintains some hostility from the previous events surrounding Cal and Ahsoka. To my knowledge, there was only one Council member who voted against the decision to exile them. That Jedi was Master Plo, not Obi Wan.
"The Council will be meeting with Cal and Ahsoka back in the Temple and they require your presence." Obi Wan states.
Anakin gives me a look, as though mentally asking for my opinion on what we should do. I personally would like it if we could all have a small break from the Council and any Jedi Masters. Regardless of what I believe, I know we have to do what is asked of us.
"I'll leave you both to it. Take care of them, and each other." Padme says, subtly excusing herself from us.
"Always." Anakin replies.
Padme quickly, but elegantly, walks away from our group. With her gone, Obi Wan encourages us to leave the Senate Building along with a few Jedi Masters. Although neither of us are eager to spend time with the people who turned on our Padawans, we agree to go with them. Afterall, it will be necessary for Cal and Ahsoka to face them again at some point.
We travel as a group back to the Temple with the added presences of Cal and Ahsoka and Masters Plo, Ti, Yoda, and Windu. The Masters walk ahead of the group while the rest of us trail at the back. The walk is silent for the most part, with everyone feeling too uncomfortable to say anything.
Suddenly, Cal starts to veer off from the group without any prior warning. No one else seems to notice, not even Anakin or Ahsoka. I, on the other hand, cannot pretend I didn't see it. I sneak away from the back of the group behind him, careful not to draw attention to myself.
"And where are you going?" I call out to my Padawan.
Cal jumps a little at the sudden sound of my voice. Whatever he was planning to do, he clearly did not want me to know about it. The reasoning behind that is confusing to say the least.
"My quarters. I just need to get something." He says.
"Can't it wait a couple of moments?" I ask.
"No, it can't."
I look at him to study his expressions and quickly notice that something is wrong. His eyes keep darting around, scanning everything in sight but refusing to meet my own eyes. I know Cal, which means I know he is hiding something.
"Is everything okay?" I ask, feeling slightly concerned by his demeanour.
"Yeah," he pauses, "yeah, everything's fine."
Cal has never been the type to lie about anything. Especially not to me. Something certainly is wrong, and it's much deeper than simply the exhaustion of the trial he just endured.
He walks away without continuing any further, leaving me alone to question what is wrong. I know I need to rejoin the group, but I can't yet bring myself to it. I feel wrong leaving him alone.
"You okay?" Anakin's voice says from behind me.
I turn around to see he is standing a few metres away. He must have parted ways with the group when he realised I was gone.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I answer, although I am not entirely sure I believe my own words.
"Come on." He gestures.
I offer him a weak smile before meeting him at his side. We then walk together, slightly behind the group in front of us. I want nothing more than to hold his hand, but I know we can't. It would be too obvious in this setting.
We eventually reach the private room of the Jedi Temple where we plan to meet. We forward in and form a semi circle of sorts around Ahsoka. We've been silent for the most part as we've been waiting for Cal to return. When the silence starts to become awkward, Anakin finally steps forward as he readies himself to speak.
"Ahsoka, I am so sorry about everything." Anakin apologises.
"Anakin and I tried from the start to clear your name. I apologise that it took us so long to find definitive proof." I add, glaring slightly at the Council members in the process.
Ahsoka's blue eyes seem sad and untrusting. This is not a look I am used to seeing in her usually bright and innocent eyes. I knew she wouldn't be feeling great after everything that has happened with the trial, but I didn't think things would become like this.
"You have our most humble apologies, little 'Soka." Master Plo contributes. "The Council was wrong to accuse you and young Kestis."
He's the only one that stood by her. Master Plo is the most loyal of any Jedi Master within the Order. Despite every bit of proof he was shown in regard to their guilt, Master Plo stood by them and their true nature.
"You showed great strength and resilience as you fought to prove our innocence alongside Padawan Kestis. The true sign of a Jedi Knight." Master Ti states.
She can't be serious. I distinctly remember my former Master going against them both during the trial. She would not listen to anything we said, she simply trusted the flawed evidence. I cannot believe she is standing here like this, defending her actions rather than apologising.
"This was actually your great trial. Now we see that. We understand that the Force works in mysterious ways, and because of this trial, you have become a greater Jedi than you would have otherwise. This goes for both you and Padawan Kestis." Master Windu explains.
The fact that the Council members feel justified in standing here and claiming this entire thing is a "trial" is utterly absurd. This was entirely their doing. They had no loyalty to Cal and Ahsoka because of some false evidence. Yet instead of apologising and admitting their wrongdoings, they are standing here and claiming the ordeal to be the will of the Force.
"Back into the Order you may come." Master Yoda announces.
I hate how they are approaching this. There are so many things that need to be done before they can just brush the issue aside. A formal apology from them all, for example.
Although I don't agree with the current actions and decisions of the Council, there is something I must know. I need to know if Cal will be offered the same as Ahsoka. I'm certain he will be, but I require reassurance.
"And as for Cal?" I ask.
"He will be offered the same when he decides to join us." Windu answers in his usual, monotonous voice.
Hearing this put into words sends relief rushing through me. Knowing that the two of them will be coming back into our lives makes me beyond grateful. In time, things will go back to normal. My anger toward the Council will fade, as will Anakin's, and Cal and Ahsoka will eventually feel comfortable in the Order again.
"They're asking you back, Ahsoka." Anakin says. He reaches into his pocket and grabs something inside. "I'm asking you back."
He extends her Padawan chain in his hand and offers it to her hopefully. His eyes sparkle at the thought of having her back in his life, and letting everything return to normal.
Ahsoka doesn't immediately take the chain as I'm sure many were expecting. Her anxious blue eyes dart around the room as she tries to determine what to do.
Eventually her gaze lands on me, and she focuses on me for a few moments. I take this time to truly examine her eyes for the emotions she is feeling. She is lost and scared, but she has made her choice already. Her fear now is for Anakin, and possibly for me too. I know what's about to happen, and I am not ready for it.
Just when she reaches for the chain, she stops herself from progressing with the action. She then uses her other hand to hold Anakin's while she closes his fingers over the chain.
Her tear filled eyes meet mine before she returns her gaze to the man in front of her.
"I'm sorry, Master, but I'm not coming back." She croaks.
She turns around and walks out the door to the room, leaving her heartbroken Master in her path. Her pace does not slow, showing she has no intention of rethinking her decision.
Anakin is motionless for a moment before he takes a few small steps toward the door. This walk quickly becomes a run as he sprints after the girl he considers his little sister.
I go to run after them both but am stopped by Obi Wan's firm grip on my shoulder.
"Let me go." I demand.
"Anakin needs to deal with this alone." Obi Wan says.
I know that whatever is happening with Ahsoka will be best dealt with by Anakin, but that doesn't mean my support won't be beneficial. I know my husband, and I know he is going to need me.
"You must trust Master Kenobi's judgement, (Y/N)." Master Plo urges.
Master Plo is the one Jedi Master I am not currently furious with. If he truly believes that Anakin will handle this better without me, then I will trust his judgement.
I aggressively shrug Obi Wan's hand off my shoulder. "Fine, but let me find my Padawan."
I storm out of the same door as Anakin and Ahsoka. The only difference is I take a left down the hall instead of continuing through the next one. If Ahsoka is leaving, I need to find Cal. He deserves to hear it from me, not from some emotionless Council member.
My walking pace simply won't get me there fast enough, so I sprint instead. I travel as fast as my legs can take me, fuelled by my own desperation. I'm no longer just going there to tell him about Ahsoka, but to make sure he isn't doing the same.
When I enter Cal's quarters, I see he is in possession of a small bag. Given the size, I'm assuming he's packing it with essential items. Before he can say anything about it, I know what he's doing.
"You're leaving too, aren't you?" My shaky, devastated voice croaks.
Cal jumps slightly upon hearing my voice. This tells me that he was so focused on what he was doing that he didn't feel my presence. This, what they are planning, is real. They're really leaving the Jedi Order.
"You saw how the Council treated Ahsoka and I, (Y/N). As soon as they heard one thing against Ahsoka they turned on her, and when I decided to be loyal to someone I care about, they turned against me too. We didn't have anyone other than each other." He pauses to soften his tone of voice. "I'm sorry, but that isn't something I can handle."
I understand where he's coming from more than he realises. The Council truly did turn on them and they have no reason to stay. The problem is, I don't want to live a life that doesn't include them. I love Cal and Ahsoka like family.
"What about Anakin and I? We stood by you both. We always will." I plead.
"I know, and I thank you for that, but Ahsoka and I would have been put to death without a second thought if you hadn't found Ventress." He remarks.
"You'll be making a mistake. You're both young, Cal. You still need guidance." I plead.
Cal's sad eyes scan the ground yet again as he contemplates the scenario further. Suddenly, his head perks up to reveal that his eyes are now full of hope. The sudden, drastic switch in his demeanour confuses me more than comforts me.
"Come with us." Cal suggests.
My head begins to spin from all of this new information. Not only are Cal and Ahsoka leaving the Order, but I now have an opportunity to leave also. It's too much to handle.
"What?" I gasp.
"Get Anakin and come with us, (Y/N). You heard Barriss, the Order isn't what it used to be. How long until every Jedi is persecuted?"
People like Barriss have the potential to control the minds of individuals. Their strong views manage to fill people's heads with doubt about the future and what will become of them. Once those ideals are embedded in someone's brain, it is near impossible to change how they think.
"The Jedi won't be persecuted." I say, moreso trying to convince myself rather than Cal.
"Then leave for Anakin."
Cal's unexpected words hit me like a tonne of bricks. He and Ahsoka have always known about us, I have no doubt about that, but that isn't what is getting me. The thing that struck me the deepest was the very possibility of what he is saying.
"What do you mean?" I ask, choosing to play dumb rather than accept the reality.
"You know what I mean." He answers.
There's nothing I want more than to live in the real world, away from the Order. To be free to love Anakin Skywalker, my husband, and live a life without the fear associated with war.
Regardless of how much I want this, I know it is not an achievable dream. The Order needs Anakin, and although they don't yet know it, they need me. We are each part of the prophecy of the Chosen One, and we are far greater assets than anything else the Jedi has.
"Anakin's the chosen one, Cal. The galaxy needs him. He can't just leave the Order in the middle of a galactic war." I ramble, trying my hardest to remind myself of why we cannot leave.
"I'm sorry, Master, but we can't stay."
I sit down on the edge of what was his bed and gesture for him to sit beside me.
"There's something Anakin's mother, Shmi Skywalker, said to him when he was a boy. That you cannot stop the change anymore than you can stop the suns from setting." I pause briefly to prevent myself from tearing up in front of him. "I can't make you stay, for the decision is yours. If you choose to leave, I will support you. But there is one request I must make."
"And that is?"
I unclip Cal's lightsaber hilt and briefly admire it in my hand. The design is very unique, and I've never really given myself the chance to notice. It's unlike any other I have seen.
"Take this with you. If you and Ahsoka ever encounter danger, I want you to have something to protect you." I say.
I extend the hilt in my hand to him, urging for him to take it willingly. If I won't be there to protect him and teach him everything he still needs to learn.
He reaches his arm out to take it but instead takes a different approach to what I had hoped. He places his hands around mine and gently pushes the lightsaber away from him. He doesn't want it.
"I can't, Master." He croaks. "It wouldn't feel right."
"Yes, you can, Cal. There's more to being a Jedi than simply being part of the Order." I state.
"What do you mean?" He asks.
There's one final lesson I need to give Cal before we part ways for an uncertain amount of time.
"Being a Jedi is about what's in your heart, not just your association with the Order. A Jedi must have faith in the Force, yes, but that's not all. A Jedi must have courage and show loyalty to their Jedi brothers and sisters. The loyalty you had to Ahsoka despite what was believed by everyone else reflected your good, courageous heart. You knew what was right, and you weren't willing to compromise that because of others. That is what it means to be a Jedi. Whether you're part of the Order or not, you will always be a Jedi at heart, Cal Kestis. You deserve this weapon more than most in the Order do." I explain.
He examines the hilt in my hand for a few moments. I can tell he is contemplating the decision, and I really hope he follows my judgement.
"Thank you, Master." He says, finally accepting his lightsaber.
He places the lightsaber in his bag and gets up from the bed. I stand up and watch as he starts toward the door. Suddenly, he stops himself before he can walk through. He then turns around and allows his tear filled eyes to meet my own.
He runs back toward me and engulfs me in a tight hug. I hold onto him for as long as possible, for I truly believe this will be the last time I see him. After a few heartbreaking moments, I reluctantly break away from his grip and place a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm going to be okay, Master." He promises.
"I know." I pause momentarily, desperate to keep myself from crying. "Now go, Ahsoka will be waiting for you."
His gaze shifts to the ground as he refuses to look at my eyes. Cal then proceeds to the door and walks through it once it opens. He doesn't come back this time, despite how much I was hoping he would.
He's truly gone.
I wait a few moments until I'm sure he is gone before I drop my head into my hands. My heart is aching from everything that has happened today and my stomach feels sick. All I want to do is cry, but I can't bring myself to do it. My soul feels too empty.
I don't know how much time passes before Anakin comes into the quarters that once belonged to my Padawan. His eyes are red, not from crying, but rather from the strain of holding back his tears.
Through our connection, I can feel every emotion he is experiencing. Anger, sadness, loss, and most importantly, failure. He's angry with the Council for allowing the situation to come to this and he's sad because he has lost two important people in his life. The failure, however, is targeted at himself. He believes that he simply wasn't enough to help them, and that he should have done better.
"Cal left too, didn't he?" He asks upon realising the similar emotions I'm feeling.
I nod my head slowly, feeling unable to properly form the words.
Anakin sits down beside me on the bed and wraps an arm around my back. The gesture may not be much, but it is exactly what I needed. The warmth of his touch is always a comfort, no matter how bad things get.
"How did you take it?" Anakin questions.
"I encouraged it." I say, keeping my eyes trained on the ground.
"You what?" He asks with a low tone of voice.
I can tell by the pain in his voice that he feels betrayed by my actions. I don't blame him for it. I did, afterall, indirectly encourage two of the people he loves most to leave his life.
"It was their choice, Anakin. I had no place in telling Cal what to do."
"It's a mistake, (Y/N)."
My decision to support Cal's decision to leave was either good for him or detrimental. There is no way to know for sure. The thing is, I believe I made the right decision by helping him, and I plan to stand by that.
"Perhaps, but they no longer had a place in the Order. They were abandoned by everyone except for us. I know that in your heart you want us to be enough for them, but we're not, Anakin. You can't expect them to remain loyal to an Order that left them to die." I argue, believing every word I say.
Anakin's previous facial expression dissolves back into one of understanding. He finally understands why they had to leave and why I encouraged them to do so. That's what we both need to get through this; mutual understanding.
"You're right. The Council didn't listen to them. Not even Obi Wan. He knew they would never do anything like that and he abandoned them." His sad voice says.
"I know." I agree. "The only Jedi who tried to help them was Master Plo, and his opinions simply weren't enough to stop it."
It's only now that I notice he is still carrying the box Padme gave us containing their lightsabers. He opens it up to reveal both of Ahsoka's hilts, but not her Padawan chain. I already know he is going to bring them on every mission from this point forward, hoping that one day she and Cal will unexpectedly return.
"Do you still have Cal's hilt on you?" Anakin asks.
"No, I wanted him to have it." I reply.
I know Anakin won't fight with me over my decision to give Cal his weapon. He will want them to be safe, and knows a lightsaber will ensure that. The Jedi Council, on the other hand, may disagree with this tactic.
"And he took it?" He questions, his voice shocked by what I said.
"He did. I told him I wanted him to have it if he and Ahsoka were to take on the galaxy without our support." I explain.
Anakin's face falls back into a frown at the mention of them growing up without our support. I want to bring up what Cal said about us leaving with them but I know it would be wrong to do so. Anakin's heart is so broken right now that he would be willing to leave. That is not a decision I can allow him to make while in his current frame of find.
"They'll be alright. They still have each other." I say to offer much needed comfort to us both.
"I know." He agrees. "And I'll be okay because I have you."
I wrap my hands around his free one, rest my head on his shoulder, and close my eyes. Everything is going to change from here, but I will be okay. We both will be. As long as I have Anakin Skywalker by my side, I can get through anything.