"What are you doing in here?" I ask Max when I enter the bedroom after my shower.
"Sitting on the bed.." She sarcastically remarks.
"Why aren't you out there?"
"I had enough quality time with our guest."
"Will you please stop that? You're being so rude."
She lays back on the bed and I walk over to place my clothes in the hamper.
"What happened while I was in the shower?" I ask her.
"Nothing, we bonded."
"Please tell me you weren't horrible to him." I barely know him, the last thing I want is more tension to arise.
"I wasn't, I mean I wasn't exactly polite but I kept my hands to myself." She closes her eyes.
"I'm going to take him a blanket and apologize for your behavior, as always." I snap and leave the room.
My father is sitting on the floor picking at the holes in his jeans, he looks up at me with a warm smile when he spots me.
"You can sit on the couch." I tell him and place the spare blanket on the arm of the couch.
"I..well I didn't want to get anything on your couch," his expression is full of embarrassment and my heart aches.
"Don't worry about that.. you can take a shower here and I'm sure Max has some clothes you can wear for the night."
"I don't want to take advantage," he doesn't look at me.
"It's okay, really. I'll bring out some clothes, go ahead and take a shower. Towels and washcloths are in the cabinet next to the door."
"Thank you, I'm so glad to see you again. I've missed so much and here you are," he half smiles.
"What were you doing there? Outside the tattoo shop?" I'm not ready for a heartwarming talk yet.
"Just walking around the neighborhood, all my friends live there so I do too. I know it's not the best part of town but it's all I got for now."
"Oh, I was just wondering."
"You can ask me anything, I want to get to know you."
"I'm sorry if Ma, was rude to you, she's.."
"Protective?" He finishes for me.
"Yeah, I guess she is. She comes off very rude sometimes."
"It's okay, I'm understand. I can take it, she's just looking out for you and I don't blame her. She doesn't know me, hell, neither do you. She reminds me of someone I used to know," my father smiles.
"Who?"
"Me, I was just like her. I didn't have respect for anyone who didn't earn it and I ran over anyone who got in my way. I had the same chip on my shoulder that she has, only difference is she has many more tattoos than me." He chuckles and the sound breathes life into memories I had long forgotten.
I laugh along with him until he stands from the floor and shoves his hands into his pockets.
"I'm going to take you up on that shower now."
I inform him that I'll bring him a change of clothes and place them outside the bathroom door. Max is still on the bed, eyes closed and knees bent in front of her when I go back into the bedroom.
"He's taking a shower, I told him he could wear some of your clothes."
"Why would you do that?" She sits up.
"Because he doesn't have any clothes."
"Sure Charli, go ahead and give him my clothes, should I offer him my side of the bed too?" Her tone is harsh.
"You need to stop, now. He is my father and I would like to see where this is going to go. Just because you can't forgive your father doesn't mean you have to sabotage my attempt at having one with mine." I reply, equally as sharp.
She stares at me, her eyes narrow, no doubt her mind is reeling with hateful words she's spewing at me in her head.
"That's not what this is, you are too naïve. How many times do I have to tell you this? Not everyone deserves your kindness Charli."
"Only you, right? You're the only one who I should forgive and give the benefit of the doubt to? That's bullshit and really pretty selfish of you." I snap and dig through her bottom drawer to grab a pair of sweats.
"And you know what? I'd rather be naïve and capable of seeing the good in people than be a jerk to everyone and assume that everyone is out to get me." I continue my verbal assault until I'm placing the pile of clothes at the door.
I hear my father's voice singing softly over the water. I press my ear to the door and can't help but smile at the wonderful noise. I remember my mother talking about my father's singing and how obnoxious it always was but I find it lovely.
I turn the television back on in the living room and sit the remote on the table to encourage him to watch what he wants. Does he watch television? How often does he sleep outside? I straighten the kitchen up, leaving some leftovers out on the counter in case he's still hungry. When was the last time he had a real meal?
Max has her new leather binder that I got her on her lap when I finally go back to the bedroom. The water is still running in the bathroom, he must be enjoying his hot shower. I walk by Max without making eye contact and feel her fingers wrap around my arm to stop me.
"Can we talk?" She asks, pulling me to stand between her legs. Her hands are quick to move her binder out of the way.
"Go ahead, talk."
"I'm sorry for being a dick, okay? I just don't know what to think of all this."
"All of what? Nothing has changed."
"Yes it has, this man who neither of us know is in my house and he wants to become close with you after all these years. It doesn't add up and my first instinct is to be defensive, you know that." She defends herself.
"You can't be hateful and say those things to me like calling him a beggar, that really hurt my feelings."
She spreads my hands open with hers, lacing her fingers through mine while pulling me even closer to her.
"I'm sorry baby, I really am." She brings our hands to her mouth, slowly kissing each of my knuckles and my anger dissolves with each touch of her soft lips.
"Are you going to stop with the cruel comments?"
"Yes." She turns my hand over in her, tracing the lines etched into my palm.
"Thank you." I watch as her long finger travels up my wrist and back down to my fingertips.
"Just be careful, okay? Because I won't hesitate to.."
"He seems okay though, doesn't he? I mean he's nice." I say quietly.
Max's fingers stop their movements, "I don't know, he's nice enough I guess."
"He wasn't nice when I was younger."
"Don't talk about this while he's this close to me, please. I'm trying my best here, so let's not push it." her tone is gentle.
I climb onto her lap, she lays down with my body against hers.
"Tomorrow's the big day," She sighs.
"Yeah," I whisper against her arm, nuzzling in her warmth.
The text message from Zayn sends a small panic through me, I had almost forgot about it all together after seeing my father outside the shop. My phone vibrated in my pocket as we waited for Addison and Tristan's return and Max stared at me while I checked the message.
*I need to talk to you tomorrow morning, alone please?* Zayn sent.
I don't know what to make of the message from him, I don't know if I should talk to him about anything considering he told Tristan he was going to press charges against Max. I hope he just said that to impress them, to keep his reputation, I'm not sure but I don't know what I'll do if Max gets in trouble, real trouble. I should respond to him but I don't think it's the best idea to meet him or talk to him alone, Max's already in enough of a mess without me adding to it.
"Are you listening to me?" Max nudges me and I look up from the comfort of her embrace.
"No, sorry."
"What's on your mind?"
"Everything, tomorrow, the charges, expulsion, England, Seattle, my father, everything." I sigh.
"You'll come with me though? To find out about the expulsion?" Her voice is smooth yet nervous.
"If you want me to."
"I need you to."
"Then I'll be there, I still can't believe you got that tattoo. Let me see it again," I request and she gently rolls me off of her so she can turn over.
"Lift my shirt."
I do as I'm told and lift the bottom of her black t-shirt until her entire back is shown in front of me. My fingers pull back the white bandage covering the newly engraved words.
"There's a little blood on the bandage," I tell her.
"That's normal." I hear her smile through her words.
I outline the reddened area, taking in the perfect words. The perfect words that have so much meaning to me and to her apparently but they are tainted with the news I have chosen to withhold. I will tell her tomorrow as soon as we find out about the expulsion. I promise myself one hundred times that I will, the longer I wait the more angry she will be.
"Is that enough of a commitment for you?"
"Hmm"
"You're sure because I can go back and get your portrait underneath." She laughs.
"No, please don't!" I shake my head and her laughter rises.
"You're sure this will be enough?" She sits up and tugs his shirt back down to cover her body.
"No marriage," She adds.
"That's what this was? You got a tattoo in exchange for marriage?" I don't know how I feel about this.
"No, not exactly. I got the tattoo because I wanted to and because I haven't gotten one in a while."
"Thoughtful,"
"It's for you too, to show you that I want this," She gestures between us, taking my hand in hers "whatever this is that we have, I don't ever want to lose it. I've lost it before and even now I don't completely have it but I can tell it's getting there."
"So once again, I used the words of a far more romantic man than myself to get the point across." Sh smiles a bright smile but I see the terror beneath it.
"I think Darcy would be appalled by your use of his famous words." I tease.
"I think he would high-five me,"
"High-five? Fitzwilliam Darcy would never do such a thing."
"You think he's above high-fives? He's not, he would sit here and have a beer with me. We would bond over how annoyingly stubborn the women in our lives are."
"The two of you are lucky to have us because the lord knows no one else would put up with either of you."
"Is that so?" She challenges with a dimpled smile.
"Obviously,"
"You're right I suppose, but I'd trade you for Elizabeth in a heartbeat."
My mouth presses into a straight line and I raise a brow, expecting an explanation.
"Only because she shares my views on marriage."
"But she still married," I remind her.
"That's it! Darcy can have both of you!" In a very un-Max like move, she takes my hips in her hands and pushes me back on the bed so my head lands on the mountain of decorative pillows that she despises and never fails to remind me of the fact. Her laughter fills the room and mine is equally as powerful.
These moments where we bicker over fictional characters and she laughs like a child are the moments that make all the hell we have put each other through worth every second. Moments like these blanket me from the harsh reality of how our relationship has been and all the obstacles that still lie in front of us.
"He's out of the bathroom," Max says, her tone guarded.
"I'm going to say goodnight." I wrestle out of Max's grip, placing a swift kiss to her forehead before leaving the room.
Max's clothes look odd on my father but they fit better than I expected.
"Thanks again for the clothes, I'll leave them here when I go in the morning," he tells me.
"It's okay, you can take them...if you need them."
"You've already done enough for me, more than I deserve." He sits on the couch and brings his hands onto his lap.
"It's okay, really."
"You're much more understanding than your mom," he smiles.
"I'm not sure I understand anything right now but I want to try to get to that point."
"That's all I'm asking for, just a little time to get to know my little...well adult daughter."
"I would like that." I admit.
I know he has a long way to go and I'm not forgiving him overnight but he's my father and I don't have the energy to hate him. I want to believe that he can change, I've seen it happen before. Maxt father for example has completely turned his life around but Max can't let go of the past.
"Max will be the tough one to win over here." His sense of humor is contagious.
"Yes, yes she will be," I laugh and look down the hall at the scowling girl in her solid black clothes, watching us with suspicious eyes.