LIZZIE
It was a Saturday and it's been since yesterday that I've gotten a letter from Dad. Once again sitting at the table at breakfast, I was chewing on a piece of bacon frustratingly, as I stabbed by eggs with my fork.
"Jesus, Liz!" Lily spoke up. "You might as well use the killing curse on those eggs."
"Sorry." I muttered. It was around 8 AM, and somehow I managed to wake up early. I tried going back to sleep but my body thought otherwise. When I got to the Great Hall earlier, there weren't a lot of people at our table. When I got there, and from the people who I knew, I only saw Lily, Hugo, Dom, and surprisingly Fred at the table.
"Oi, what's wrong?" Fred asked from my right side as he nudged my right arm.
"I'm just...I dunno." I sighed. "I wondered if Professor Bell told Dad yet. Most likely she did. But, I'm just wondering what Dad thinks."
"Don't worry." He assured. "Your Dad loves you. Don't let it get to your head."
I gave out a small smile. "Thanks."
"It's a Hogsmeade day today." Fred said. "You could use a little cheering up. Be my date and I'll treat you to a pound of candy over at Honeydukes? We'll even go over to Zonko's so we could stock up on more supplies for pranks."
I smiled. "Yeah, I think I'd like that."
"Then it's settled!" He said enthusiastically.
After an hour of sitting there, eating, it finally hit 9 AM. It was around the time a bit more people filed into the Great Hall for breakfast. But usually around 11 would be the time the Great Hall would be filled. But since it was a Hogsmeade day today, no one wanted to waste any time.
"Morning!" Al greeted me, Rose, Fred, James, and Dom as he sat into the empty seat next to me. Lily and Hugo already left earlier to get an early start at the villiage. Both of them didn't really like it when it was crowded.
"Morning, Mr. Fox." I snickered into my drink as I spoke. "Seen your wife, Chloe lately?"
Al's eyes widened. "You told her!" he accused James. "She's not suppose to know about that!"
James held his hands up. "Why you accusing me! I never told her. Neither has Fred, if you wondering. I'm surprised that she even knows. "
"Who's Chloe?" Rose and Dom asked, raising an eyebrow. But Al ignored them.
"How do you know anyway?" Al asked.
"You should really learn how to not talk in your sleep, Al." I said as I rolled my eyes as Al gaped at me.
"So who's Chloe?" Dom piped.
"She's this girl tha-mmmmmm" That git covered his hand over my mouth.
"Nothing." Al said, whilst giving me a glare. "What the hell, Lizzie?" He hissed at me, loud enough for just me to hear. Then I bit his hand hard so he would let go of me. "OW! Oi! She bit me!"
"Serves you right. That's what you get for not giving me that candy yesterday, you arse. Give me, or buy me a pound of candy later."
"Don't." Rose warned Al. "Freddy's already buying her a pound. Last thing we need to have to Liz is Diabetes."
I crossed my arms, letting out a hmph.
"Here." Al says as he hands me a Drooble. "You get one for now. That's all I have with me right now. I'll get the rest for you later."
"Yay!" I said happily as I grabbed the gum from him.
A couple minutes later my owl, Snowy flew into the Great Hall, holding a letter in her beak. After a few moments, she landed swiftly on the table in front of me.
"Hi, Baby." I greeted my owl affectionately. I took the letter out of her beak, then handed her a treat in return before I stroked the side of her head.
"Who's the letter from?" James asked. I shrugged before turning the letter over. And when I saw who it was from, my breath hitched.
"Shit." I muttered.
"Well?" My friends asked.
I sighed. "It's from Dad." I told them.
Then Al spoke up. "You should open it, Iz."
"But I don't want to." I whined.
"Iz." He sighed. "You really should. You should hear what he has to say. Please? For me."
I sighed heavily then nodded slowly. "Alright." After a few moments, and with shaky hands, I opened the letter and read it silently.
Dear Elizabeth,
I hear it's a Hogsmeade day today. Meet at The Three Broomsticks at Noon.
Love,
Your father
I hung my head. What. The. Hell. That's it! I was sort of surprised on how short the note was. I expected him to know by now. But I was sort of nervous and curious on why he wanted to see me. I mean, sure, I miss my dad. I was also glad that he took the time to come all the way over by Hogwarts from America just to see me. But he would never skip out on his job unless it was important. So now, I'm settling myself on the fact that he knew. Now I get to see his reaction in person, which made it harder for me.
I didn't know what was going to happen.
"Well? What did the note say?" Al asked, still munching away on his piece of bacon.
Pig.
I still had that bewildered look stitched on my face after I finished reading the letter.
"Uhm. He said that he wanted to meet me over at the Three Broomsticks at noon." I say oddly.
"That's it! That's all he said?" James asked incredulously.
"He's coming here?" Rose asked, using a surprised tone as she spoke. In response, I simply nodded. "But he never comes around here unless it's important."
I nodded again, "That's why I'm worried. I assume he already knows. I'm curious, but scared at what he's going to think." I say nervously.
"You going to see him?" Fred asked.
"I guess I have to. It's my dad. I have to talk about it with him." I said.
"Don't worry. It's not gonna be bad." Rose assured.
"Oh, it's gonna be bad." I told her. "Try going up to your father and tell him the date of your death sentence." Rose flinched as I said 'Death'. Rose was still pretty touchy on the subject of my dying. She didn't really like talking about it much, and tried not to have it brought up.
Al rubbed my back, "It's alright, Iz." He said soothingly. "Try not to worry. You have a few hours till you have to meet your dad. How 'bout you be my date to Hogsmeade and I'll try and cheer you up, yeah?"
I looked at him, then at Fred. I really wanted to be Al's date, but I was already going with Fred. I couldn't do that to Fred. "Oh, no no. I'm already Fred's da-"
"It's alright, Liz." Fred spoke up. I looked at him in confusion and with a hint of being surprised. "Go with Al instead."
I shook my head at him. "No, Fred. I'm your date already. You asked me earlier." I told him. "I'm sorry Al, but I'-"
"No, you go with Al." Fred interrupted. I looked at his face, and somehow...I couldn't read it. In my senses, and by my knowledge or face/eye reading, he wanted me to go...But then I was sort of detecting some sort of disappointment and hesitation. Like he didn't want me to go.
Eh, he's probably just worried. He was always such a worrier. I guess he got a bit winded up about me and my dad's meeting. He didn't like to see me all nervous or upset.
"Mate, you sure?" Al asked his cousin. Fred nodded in response.
"Go ahead. She's all yours. I have to go somewhere first anyway." Fred said. "I'll see you lot later, I have to go do that thing." Fred spoke as he stood up to leave.
It was almost noon, and Al and I were walking around the villiage. Aside from the fact that I was with the guy who I pretty much fancied, but I couldn't be bothered with my feelings right now. I was too bothered with my meeting with my father. But at least I was with Al, which soothed me a bit. So far he and I spent most of our time over at Zonko's Joke Shop. I didn't get a lot, but it's not like I needed them. I still had a box full of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes that Fred's Dad and Mum had sent me during Christmas.
But I still cant believe what Al got me.
"Are you serious! I still can't believe it." I exclaimed happily as he and I walked out of Zonko's, while carrying my new and purple pygmy puff.
HELL YES, I GOT A PYGMY PUFF!
"I thought it would cheer you up, Liz." He spoke with a smile as I cuddled my little puff to my cheek.
"I love it." I said as I threw my arms around his neck, engulfing him into a hug. I always wanted a pygmy puff, but I never really got the chance to own one. Plus the little puffs were only sold over at the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes in Diagon Ally. However, a couple months ago, Fred's dad got some of his products selling over at Zonko's. But anyway, now that I'm dying I guess I sort of do have the time to get one of 'em. But you know, YOLO. You only live once. I might was well get the things I wanted to get, and try to live life to the fullest. "Thank you." I said happily, beaming back up at him.
He smiled warmly at me. "It's no problem. Anything to make you happy. I don't want to see you sad." He said, looking at me. "So what are you gonna name it?" Changing the topic quickly.
"Luna." I said, after a minute of thinking.
Al raised his eyebrows. "Luna? As in Lysander and Lorcan's mum? Aunt Luna?"
"I dunno." I spoke with a shrug "Luna seems to fit this little fur ball. It's so...magical and got that mesmerizing look to it. Like the twin's mum." I chuckled as Luna laughed as I tickled it.
Mrs. Scamander was always such an interesting person. I met her loads of times when I hung out around the Potter Manor, The Burrow, and over at Rose's place. When I first met her, which was at this christmas party back at the Potter's home in my second year. It was also the first time I stayed over at Al's place. I was quite intrigued with everything she had to say. Though most of the things she said were sort of weird and hard to believe, I enjoyed the things she said. It felt like she was telling stories and I was enjoying every moment of it. She was so animated when she spoke, which made everything she said so interesting. Plus, Luna's pretty gorgeous for her age.
She was by far the coolest person ever, aside from Ginny, of course.
"Yeah, Luna does seem perfect." Al agreed, whilst stroking the puff.
"But I'm not sure if your aunt'll take it as a compliment or an insult." I said.
Al laughed. "I'm pretty sure she'd take it as a compliment, Liz." We kept on walking around the villiage, ocassionally looking through the windows of the shops to see if there was anything interesting on display. But most of the time we didn't speak. "So," Al began, while he checked his watch. "it's almost noon. Want to start going up to the pub to meet your dad?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I think it's about time." I said nervously. And we began to walk from the end of the village.
"So how you feeling about meeting up with your dad?" He asked, trying to lift up the tension in the air. I swear, you cut it with a knife...Or Voldemort's finger nails. I swear, those were some pretty sharp and long nails. I'm serious, Voldemort's pretty...odd looking. I mean, where the hell is his nose! Harry said that Bellatrix had some sort of...infatuation with the Dark Lord. I don't even know why. That creature that was once human (Voldemort) has got barely any looks. The rest of the old Death Eater's got more of a chance for a date that that old bald-y-mort.
But I've seen the memories of Harry. He had shown me, Al, Rose, and James for some kind of history lesson. I was making comments all along the entire time I was watching. I even brought candy with me for the show. Although James told Harry not to bring me into those memories anymore. Said that I couldn't shut up.
Hmph.
But getting off topic as well, ever since me and Al's little make up. It's still been hard being around him. We weren't as close as we once were, for I knew that we'd get up in our little moments. Plus, I didn't want him so...attached to me. He didn't deserve the pain that I was going to cause him with my absence.
But even though we tried being the best friends we once were, our feelings for each other still got in the way. Like those times we kept on glancing at each other. I've even noticed the times where he'd get distracted by looking at me.
Lily thinks we're having secretly seducing each other with out eyes. Eye-sex, basically.
My reaction to her theory? Well, I was drinking a glass of water during dinner, and I did a spit-take. All of it, going onto James. Luckily, Al wasn't there Thank the heavens.
I mean, where the hell does this girl get her potty mouth from! Where is she learning this! Where is the justice! What happened to the ruled! Where are her influences!
Oh yeah, she was corrupted by her brothers. I'm blaming James from heaven, then I'll invisibly curse him if his sister gets pregnant in the future. Why I choose James? Because James is a git who likes and fancies to date girls. He's a cheeky git. Plus, with his occasional potty mouth, Lily's learning off of him.
But then again...
Everyone, including me says loads of rubbish. So I guess I'm being a hypocrite here.
Oh well.
But anyway, I couldn't help but look at Al as well sometimes. I was always trying to read him, yet he was still so hard to read. I wanted to read his mind, but I couldn't.
Every time he looked at me, I couldn't help but get self-conscious about myself. Now that all the feelings are out and about, and all those glances and stares...It was hard to be comfortable. But even though I had those tensed moments, I still liked being around Al. He made me feel so...so...
Happy.
I shrugged. "I dunno. I'm just curious on what'll happen, but then again...I don't want to know. I don't want to see him upset." I replied to his question.
"I understand. Just don't worry. Your dad loves you, so don't be afraid. No matter what happens, we're all here for you. Me, Rose, Fred, James, Lily, Alice...Everyone. And, if your dad says anything that makes you sad, in case the ever happens...Remember, he loves you, no matter what may come out wrong." After a few minutes of walking, we were right out in front of the Three Broomsticks. "You want me to go in with you?" He asked.
I shook my head. "I'd like you to, but don't. I need to do this on my own." I noticed him furrow his eyebrows, looking concerned. "Don't worry about me."
"Here, lemme take Luna. She'd be a little distraction." He said, taking Luna away from me.
I gave him an appreciated smile. "Thanks."
"It's noon. You sure you don't need me in there?" He asked.
I shook my head. "Thanks, but no thanks. I'll do this on my own."
"Well, if you need me, I'll be over at Spintwitches. I lost a bet with Freddy and I gotta buy him a sport shirt." I rolled my eyes. "Well, go on. Bet your dad's been waiting."
I said my goodbyes then headed into the pub. The place wasn't all crowded. I only spotted a couple students from school, but most of the people in there were adults.
I looked around for a bit, then finally spotted by dad sitting over by in a secluded corner. "Dad!" I spoke loud enough to catch his attention.
"Elizabeth!" He exclaimed as I hurried over to him, engulfing him into a hug. "How are you?" He asked as we both sat down, telling the waiter our orders or two butterbeers.
But I didn't answer his question. For the first time, a simple and easy: 'How Are You?' of a question was hard for me to answer. This time, my answer couldn't be a short and simple: 'Fine'. To anyone, I was able to say such a thing. But to my family and close friends, an answer like that would be...unacceptable. Because they would know I'd be lying. But right now, I can't even face what my dad has to say about my honesty, about my condition, and about everything.
"Here you two go." The waiter said as he laid down the butterbeers. I smiled in thanks.
"So-" My dad began but I cut him off.
"How you've been?" I asked.
He bit his lip. "I'm not sure, actually." He said with a sigh. "I got a letter from Katie." I slumped in my seat. Yup, here it comes.
I sighed, "Dad," I began.
"Why didn't you tell me, Lizzie?" He asked. "You've been keeping all of this from me. You've been keeping me from the knowing the date of your death. I'm your father. I have the right to know! May 15th! That's not even a month. Your gran and I are the only ones who just found out all about the day of your death a couple weeks before you die. When everyone else already knew since you found out months ago. Katie knew. Rose knew. All the teachers knew. And according to Katie, so does Al, and the rest of the entire school knows. You know who just found out yesterday? Me and your gran. Your lucky she didn't have a heart attack."
"Dad!" I exclaimed, trying to cut off his frustration. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you! Look, it was hard to bring it up to you. Especially what's been going on when I found out. I've been blackmailed, my friendship with Al's been tainted, a vicious girl told everyone my secret, I got sent to the hospital since I had an attack and fell off my broom. Luckily, Fred was there to catch me."
"You could've at least said something." He said, trying to be calm.
"And say what! Say: 'Oh Dad, remember that heart condition I had? Well my death sentence if at May 15th. Bring flowers!'" I exclaimed. "I couldn't say that! Everything hasn't been easy for me dad." I was upset. Out of everyone who I knew, I thought my dad would at least be the most understanding.
Dad sighed frustratedly. "You could've at least said something, Lizzie. When were you gonna tell your gran and I? Huh? When we find out that you dropped dead? If I knew months before, I would've made an effort to have spent a bit more time with you, Liz. I would've maybe even found a cure. But it's not like I haven't tried. I tried. Me and Katie, and your gran did research. I'm just disappointed that you didn't say anything sooner. I'm disappointed in you Liz. I'm sorry all of that stuff happened to you. But along the way, you should've at least considered on what me and your gran are going through. It's not easy to know that another person in your life is going to go."
At this point I was on the verge of tears. My dad's voice kept on ringing through my head. Disappointment.
That's all I was right now. I was being a disappointment. My worst fear, comign through.
Disappointment.
It was the one thing I hated the most. When I went through life, it was always others disappointing me. But now it's me doing all the wrong things, I feel like I mucked up really bad. Other people have the chance and a lifetime to make it all up. I, however, don't. My life is cut short.
Disappointment made me feel useless, unworthy, a waste of space. It was bad enough I came into this life in such in odd, yet cruel way. My eyes are purple, I've been mistaken as a freak at times, and I have a heart condition/curse that ends my life. I try to not pay much attention to how I am most of the time. Sometimes, I forget that I even have a condition and that I have purple eyes. But one look in a reflection, and everything just keeps coming back to me.
I was always trying to live a dream of normalcy. My mind was on hiatus from reality. But every couple minutes, I'm reminded, and I have to push back into the world that is cursed.
Though I may be seeing this a bit harshly, it's true. I may have lived most of life normal, but I hated to be reminded of my fate.
"You're disappointed in me." I said slowly. Then I looked at my dad, whose face loosened up from frustration. "I'm a disappointment. I shouldn't even be here."
"Honey, I didn't mean it that wa-" But I didn't pay attention.
"I'm useless. I'm a disappointment to everyone." I spoke. I felt like I wanted to cry. I didn't want to be here. I slowly stood up, looking at the ground, repeating my dad's words in my head.
"Darling?" I heard Dad speak, but ignored. He thinks I'm a disappointment. I was upset. I was low on confidence at this point. So...
I ran.
I hurried out the pub, ignored the calls from my Dad, and went out into the open of Hogsmeade, where students and the residents of the village were walking around. I stopped for a moment out of the pub's door, looking left and right, trying to figure out where I planned to go.
Truth be told, I didn't know where I wanted to go. All I knew was that I had to get away from Dad. From reality. I hurried to my right and headed up to the upper end of the village, near the forest and the shrieking shack.
As I ran, I didn't noticed who I passed. I didn't care if anyone saw me. I just didn't.
I remembered what Al said to me. He said that he'd be there if anything was wrong. And at this moment,
Everything was wrong.
Yet I didn't want him to be here right now. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to cry out.
If I could choose when I could die, I'd pick this very moment.
My head was pounding, I felt weird, and I felt the need to cry.
I hated the fact that I was useless, misunderstood, worthless, a burden to my friends and family. Sometimes, I wondered what was the point of my life if I was just going to die at any moment. I wasn't going to have the chance to live my life to the very fullest till I age to my 90's. I was sometimes beyond mad.
I didn't know what I was thinking, but decided to hide out in the Shrieking Shack. I didn't really hung out over by there, since I was always pretty creeped out. I've only been in there once, which was back in my 1st year. It was a Halloween night, and Al, James, Fred, and I decided to go up to the shack during midnight. Of course, when we tried to sneak back in, we got caught. James and Fred were the only ones who didn't get caught, for unknown reasons, which I eventually found out that they used the invisibility cloak.
Thought it wasn't all that bad. Aside from the creaking doors, heavy scratches on the furniture, drag marks, dirt, dust, bugs, and a few blood stains. But other than all that, it was perfectly fine.
I'm surprised people haven't torn the place down yet. It's been there for at least a decade or more.
But the shack wasn't all bad after Harry explained what went on in that house. Teddy's dad, Remus Lupin, used the place to confine himself when the full moon came. Teddy's dad was a werewolf, which I found quite interesting, yet sort of scary as well.
Harry said he experienced Remus' transformation first hand and said that it wasn't the best experience, since Ted's dad started to attack Harry's godfather, then tried to chase Harry and Hermione.
But I never bothered to visit the shack ever again. It wasn't that I was scared out of my mind, it was just that I didn't have anything to do over there. I had no business at that place.
Though Fred and James do spend an awful lot of time over there, planning pranks. I told them that place was going to crash over their heads pretty soon. But they said they managed to fix up most of the parts in the inside, and that they had set up a wall trying to hold up the place from crumbling down. They even mentioned that they tried to clean up the place a bit with some cleaning spells, and hopefully, I wouldn't have to inhale all the dust and dirt when I went in.
I eventually got to the front of the old house. Though it may look unruly on the outside, let's just hope Freddy and James kept their word and managed to maintain the place.
I opened the door slowly, and was surprised to find that the door didn't fall out of it's hinges. When I walked in the hallway, it looked almost about the same as how it did back when I came to this place during my first year. I went up the stairs, then noticed a small and clean sign that hung on a door that said 'KEEP OUT'. Rolling my eyes, I find that this was the boys' doing. When I opened the door, I was somewhat surprised to the find the room very, very different from how the rest of the house looked like.
The room looked clean, bright, and so new. The furniture was replaced with new ones, there were lights instead of candles, the windows looked fixed, and the room looked so...modern. The floors weren't breakable, but different. The place was packed with Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes products, there was a desk over in the corner that had loads of paperwork. A potions table was set up in the other corner, and then there were was an office table, and a two sets of sofas in the room. I was sort of surprised on how big the room was.
Adjusting to the area for a moment, I sat on the sofa, then did what I wanted to do from the start.
Cry.
Pushing thoughts and memories of happiness away, I remembered reality. My reality.
A lot of people had it easy. Their reality was getting back to homework and responsibility. My reality was a death sentence that hung over my head. Add homework and responsibility my equation, and it's twice the trouble.
I just kept on letting out all my emotions as I cried out.
"I'm just another disappointment." I said to myself. "Always have been." I was sitting on the sofa, curled up in a fetal position. I was trying to comfort myself, by hugging myself with my arms. Yet, it didn't work.
Then all of a sudden, I heard a faint voice call me. "Lizzie?" And the next thing you know, that person lifted me up gently and held me in their arms, rubbing my back, trying to sooth me and my emotions.