Lizzie's POV
I don't know how long I sat there on the pitch. I was too caught up in my own thoughts to even pay attention to anything that went around me.
"Iz." A very familiar voice called out softly. I slightly jumped. What's with people creeping up on people! But I knew that voice.
I knew that voice anywhere. Al.
I turned around, and my head snapped over to him. I could feel my eyes slightly widening. What was he doing here? What did he want? "I need to talk to you." He spoke softly, as his eyes met mine.
I almost panicked. I wanted to get out of here. I couldn't face him. I sometimes hated confrontation. I couldn't think straight, think clearly, speak right, or act right. It was situations like this that got me nervous. But if it was a situation where we would start dueling with our wands (or our fists) I would've done just fine.
ONly I don't think I want to fight a guy. Plus, AL would be too much of a girl to even throw a punch my way. But if I were to fight Maci now...Oh-ho, well I'd probably go all ninja and kick her arse.
"Oh." I simply said, getting up, dusting my dress off a bit. "Uhm, what are you doing here?"
"Saw you left. Thought we'd talk about...Everything." He said softly, but loud enough for me to hear. I almost shook my head. I didn't want to deal with this now. I just couldn't. [A/N: Hey, if you wanted some music to enter the mood while you read from here during their conversation, listen to "You're Not Sorry" by Taylor Swift. I listened to the song as I wrote this. Don't read their conversation too fast BTW. Try to get in the mood.]
"I-I was just getting some air." I tell him, refusing to look in his eyes. "I was just leaving." I start to hurry off, heading straight for the exit of the pitch, but something pulled me back as I passed him. I looked to my wrist, and saw Al's hand, who had a firm grip around it.
For the first time, since he said that he wanted to talk, I looked at him and even though it may have been a bit dark, the moon still gave out light. He was looking at me, his eyes darkening a bit. "No." He said as his voice cracked, shaking his head. "Not this time. Every time I try to approach or even talk to you, you run away. You avoid me. You're not gonna run away this time, Izzie."
I looked back at my wrist, where his hand took a grip upon of. "Let go." I say. But he didn't let go.
"No. You'll just run away again. The last time, I let you go. This time...I'm holding on." He said seriously.
I was even more upset. "You let me go more than once, Al. I don't know if I can attach myself to you anymore." I said, almost angry. He's made too many mistakes.
"What do you mean?" His eyes searching mine for answers.
"I-I can't do this." I spluttered, trying to get myself away from Al, but he placed his free arm around me, and pulled my arms to him, holding me close.
"You need to listen for once. Don't run away from me. Don't be a coward-"
"I'm not!" I interjected.
"You are. You can't face me. You won't talk to me. You pull away all the time. It's like I'm some sort of plague that you keep on running away from."
"I, had my reasons, Al." I said in frustration.
"Yeah." He said pausing for a moment, his face softening. "I know."
This was my turn to be confuse. "W-What do you mean?" I stuttered nervously.
He was quiet for a moment. He didn't say anything. "I meant what I said...Back at the Hospital Wing a while ago." He said softly. Okay, hold up. What did he mean! I was getting anxious. Nervous even. I haven't even seen him visit while I was awake. He only appeared in my...dream.
Oh god. So it wasn't a dream.
That meant he knew. He knew about what I felt about him. That meant he knew about Maci. He knew everything. Was that why he didn't ask me why I avoided him? Wait. 'Dream' Al told me about what he felt. Could he really have meant it?
"W-what?"
"I visited every night you were in the hospital wing. Stayed there watching you for a couple hours, then left. I did mean everything what I said. You really are amazing." He said the last part slowly, his arm and hand loosening it's grip. Then he raised one hand and started stroking the side of my face. "You and I both know that we fancy each other, how we feel about each other. I'm painfully sorry about choosing Maci over you."
I almost tried to deny it, but he cut me off. "N-"
"Don't deny it." He said, cutting me off my unspoken word. "You were there. It wasn't a dream. I'm up all night thinking about what you said that night. Actually, I'm up all night...Because of you." He place his forehead upon mine, but I didn't pull away. Al wasn't smiling, and so was I. We just stared into each other's eyes, tension building between us.
You could say that I got caught up in the moment. But for a moment, as he and I stared into each other's eyes, I almost forgot everything. Our heads started to move in, and our faces got closer. Our faces were so close, that I could already feel his breath against my lips. Our lips, barely touching. He caressed my cheek as our lips lingered near each other for a few moments. Just as about we were about to go for it, I pulled away. Our lips slightly grazing each other as I pulled away. It just wasn't right. I couldn't. I just couldn't.
I would have went for it. But in situations like this, especially now, it wasn't the right time. The whole situation discouraged me from kissing him. I knew Al cared about me, and kissing him would make him even more attached. If he had found out about my current situation, he'd be crushed., and I didn't want that for him, or anyone.
We both stood there for a bit, our bodies still close to each other, a painful silence cutting through us. But I finally got the courage to speak up. Then acted like our 'almost kiss' never happened. "Does that mean you know about-"
"Maci?" He breathed out, as he finished my sentence. "Yeah, I know about Maci. But that didn't stop me from fancying you, Liz. In the beginning, I didn't accept the fact that I could possibly be fancying my best friend. I didn't want to ruin our close friendship. But then, you were worth it. So I said, 'Screw it'. For Maci, why do you think I didn't leave her yet? She may not be too bad, occasionally. But I don't want to be with her. I want to be with you. I knew that if I left her, she'd take it out on you. She has something against you. Something you never told me about before, but apparently have spoke to James and Rose about it."
I started to panic, I didn't want him to know. He'd be upset. I didn't want to see that. I shook my head, trying to push myself away from me, but he kept himself close. I was afraid, and he was right. I was a downright coward. I couldn't face disappointment. 'No, no-"
"That's what's confusing me. I'm suppose to know you the best. I know practically everything about you. What possibly could be so bad that you didn't want anyone to know about? Something that's so bad that you do what Maci tells you to do. Something that you wanted to keep away from me."
I kept on shaking my head frantically. Then I pushed, with all my might, away from Al. "I had to protect you!" I half shouted.
He looked at me with confusion, and as if I was almost crazy. I couldn't blame him. I'd think the same if I was in his position. "What could you possibly protect me from?"
But I just couldn't answer. I was almost hysterical. I was on the verge of tears. It hurt so much. "I can't be with you, Al. I just can't. It's best that I should stay away from you."
He looked like he was getting frustrated. "But why? What is it! Tell me, Iz."
"YOU AND EVERYONE I CARED ABOUT WERE GONNA GET HURT. BE DISAPPOINTED! THEN-" I shouted. I was hysterical by now. He seemed surprised by my outburst. But I was crying by now. I wasn't thinking clearly anymore. In this situation, I couldn't even think about my situation without crying my eyes out. This was all just too much. We were a few feet apart, and he tried to approach me, but I backed away.
"THEN WHAT? WHAT COULD BE SO BAD! TELL ME!" He shouted in a frustrated tone. He wasn't getting answers anymore. I was still crying, not hard, but you could see my tears fall down my cheers like a waterfall.
And in a split second of not thinking, I blurted out something that I regretted and wanted to take back desperately. "I'M DYING!" I bellowed. As soon as those words came out of my mouth, I gasped, then covered my mouth with my hand, my eyes wide. But it was too late. The words were out there.
It took a moment to process what I said to Al's brain. He seemed speechless. Not in the good kind of way, the bad kind of way. The type of being speechless when you find out something bad, and you can't find the words to describe what you're feeling. But I looked into Al's green eyes, and I got my answers there.
He was shocked. Sad. Surprised. Devestated. And that one feeling I wished people didn't feel: Disappointment.
"What?"
"Nothing." I said, hoping he hadn't heard what I blurted out a moment ago. But the chances were slim.
"Iz, tell me." He said straight-fowardly.
"I'm d-dying, Al." I choked out as my tears came out, inaudibly. "Hexheartonia. That's why Rose and James' have been so depressed. That's why James is with me almost everywhere I go. That's why my eyes are like this, and that's why I fell off my broom that day." I spoke firmly.
"No." He said softly, shaking his head. "Can't be."
"I'm good as dead." I told him. "So you see? That's why I never wanted anyone to find out. You'd just get disappointed. Upset. I didn't want that for any of you."
"And what? Wait for one day that when you're gone, we'd know then?" Al almost shouted.
"You think I chose this for me!" I shouted at him. My tears slowly started to dry, and my sadness turned into frustration and anger. "I was born with this, Al! You can't change the fact that I'm gonna die one day. And I don't want you to be in sore pain just because I'll be gone one day. We weren't meant for each other. I wasn't meant for anyone." And with that, I turn away from him, walking off, heading towards the exit.
The wind started to pick up at that moment as I walked away from the pain.
"NO!" He shouted from a distance, as I was half way from the exit. I suddenly feel his hands reaching for my shoulder. I could hear him panting, and breathing heavily when he stopped to catch up with me. "I. Said. That I wasn't going to let you go, Iz. I've let you out of my grasp probably hundreds of times by now. I'm not going to do that anymore. I care for you too much to not at least have you. Even if you'll be leaving us months, or years from now, at least I've got to be with you."
I started crying again, my tears were streaming down my cheeks, but I wasn't crying hysterically. I was quiet. It hurt to know that he cared a lot for me. It meant that my death would affect him a lot. It hurt me even more that he expected me to die in months, or years, when in reality...We had less time than that. He was so naive about it. "Why're you crying?" He asked.
"Y-You'd be willing to stay with me for a month? 31 days?" He looked almost horrified at what I said. He was surprised on how soon it was. He was quiet for a moment, and I didn't dare to look in his eyes. But I had my answer. His silence was my answer. I spoke again after a few moments. "I thought so." And with that, I ran back to the castle, finally getting away, and ignoring the shouts and calls Al was calling from behind.
As I ran, that was when I broke down. I just kept on running though. I sobbed hard, my tears unleashing itself from my eyes. It just hurt too much. I was bawling my eyes out. By this time, you could hear me cry than just see me do it. I felt somewhat broken.
To Al and his family, I was just going to be that girl they were once close to, who died.
I finally ran back to my room, and luckily, no one had seen me cry yet. Everyone was still down at the Great Hall, still dancing the night away.
But I was up in my room, my face buried in my pillow as I cried my eyes out in pain and frustration.
I was going to die soon.
I had learned to accept it, yet even though I had, I was still upset about it.
I was just good as gone.