Time felt slower.
Every step America and Russia took felt as though it sapped all the energy out of them.
Greenland had stayed behind at the hospital and Mexico had been picked up by Canada to go get ice cream and cheer him up. Russia and America had decided to just start walking and find out where they'd end up.
Eventually they arrived at the park bench where America first asked Russia to accompany him to his family's fancy party. The two sat down and reminisced on how far they had come from that moment.
America had become close with his family again, Canada and Ukriane started dating and America and Vietnam started dating. America met Morningstar and Russia had been given Australia's journal. America and Russia went with their families on a trip where they had almost hooked up. Vietnam and America moved in together after Vietnam blackmailed him when he tried to break up with him.
They had come so far.
Only to arrive back at the start.
Russia sighed and pulled something out of his jacket pocket, the rustling tugging st America's attention.
"What's that?"
Russia looked at the paper in his hands, "It's the envelope Mexico gave me. It says its from Antarctica."
America frowned and fiddled with his zipper by pulling it up and down over and over.
"Yea, Ani was the one to point it out to him."
Russia hummed and turned the envelope over, sliding his nail under it to break the seal.
"Exactly. I want to read it. I'm curious."
America swallowed a lump in his throat, "Yea. Well, don't let me stop you I guess."
"Do you want me to read it aloud?"
"Uh. Sure. Unless it has like...secret stuff."
Russia chuckled and unfolded the letter, "I doubt it. Antartica and I don't share a lot of secrets."
Russia cleared his throat and began to read as America continued to fidget nervously.
"To Russia,
"Chances are, if you're reading this I'm on my deathbed. I'm sorry we didn't get to know each other as well as we could have. I always thought you were amart and reliable - someone to trust. I also found it super sweet that you tried so hard to learn sign language so that Greenie didn't have to translate! I'm sorry my sign is so difficult!
"It's been so humbling to watch you grow into such a good friend for our America. Once upon a time you were just a random country I'd pass in the halls, now you're one of my closest friends.
"Thank you so much for being the support and the second voice of reason America, Mexico, Greenland and I always needed. You're the coolest slav Ive ever met! (Pun definitely intended!)
"I hope to see you in another life.
"Your friend,
"Antarctica."
America wiped tears from his cheeks and sucked in a shuddering breath. Russia swallowed and closed the letter, clasping it in his hands close to his face in a sort of praying pose.
After taking a moment to compose himself, Russia wipes his eyes and nods to America's pocket - where he knew a similar envelope lay.
"Are you going to read yours to me now?"
America shook his head, "I'm not going to read it at all.
Russia frowned and furred his eyebrows, "What? Why not?"
"These are his last words," America mumbled, looking down at the tear-stained envelope in his hands. "There's still a piece of him left in this letter. There's still words he hasn't said to me yet. Or- well- signed. And once I open this..."
America gripped the paper, scrunching the edges slightly.
"...that will all be gone. That's it. It will make it all more...real."
Russia nodded in understanding, "It will become more real that he's completely gone now."
"Exactly," America teared up again and felt his throat ache. "And it hurts to know that I'll never see him smile or hear about his sassy remarks from Greenland or have a study sesh with him that just devolves into fangirling over random Netflix shows."
Russia sighed and rested a hand on America's shoulder, which the other immediately leaned into for comfort.
"I know, Meri. But he wouldn't have gotten Mexico to give it to you if he thought you weren't ready for it."
"Well then he's dumb," America said before wincing. "Oh god I shouldn't have said that about a dead person."
America's eyes widened and he held his head in hands, "Oh my god he's dead!!"
"America, America, you're spiralling," Russia grabbed his shoulders and then cupped both his cheeks. "Caaaaaaalm. Calm."
America breathed in slow and let out the breath again.
"Ok. Ok. I'm good. Thank you."
Russia glanced at the envelope, "Can I at least read it?"
America chuckled dryly and handed it to him, "Yea."
Russia smiled and kissed his head, making America blush and poke his tongue out at him. With one swift movement, Russia sliced open the envelope and unfolded the letter.
As Russia's eyes darted over the words, his face grew progressively more red. America watched on with growing interest, glacing him up and down.
Russia soon closed the letter and plopped it in America's lap.
"Fuck you, now I gotta read it," America growled and opened the letter.
"To America,
"Chances are, if you're reading this someone probably forced you into reading it because I know you'd be too depressed to read it if I died. Well, when I died. Die? Died? What the heck is the tense for that sentence??"
"I love you so much America because you are literally the sweetest person in the world sometimes. I knoe you have your faults and that often gets you down, but I guarentee you that you are still alive today because there are people who deserve to see such a ray of sunshine as you.
"But, in any case, I know you're the only one who will listen to me when I say this but my dying wish is that you and Russia GET TOGETHER ALREADY. ITS ACTUALLY ANNOYING AS H E C K.
"You guys have such good chemistry and he literally kisses you on the head?? As a friendly guesture??? And he actually legit saved you from Vietnam and yourself so my god. Just. Hook up. Please."
America glanced over at Russia who was looking at the ground with a red face. America blushed himself.
"We're begging you.
"Love,
"Your coolest friend (finger guns),
"Antarctica."
America and Russia sat in an awkward, flustered silence. Not only had they lost their good friend today, but their friend also basically told them "stop being dumbasses and fuck already" which was super unsettling.
Neither could deny Antarctica had a point. Russia had always been protective and supportive of America, and so had America been to Russia. The two would constantly flirt and be touchy despite the fact that Russia hated people touching him. America always felt honoured to be able to hug Russia whenever he wanted and not be elbowed in the gut.
America gave Rusaia a side glance before clearing his throat and breaking the silence.
"So uh... wanna date?"
"...Sure??"
America laughed at how awkward they both were and sighed.
"Ani's right. I've liked you for a really long time."
Russia blushed, "I have too."
America smiled sweetly and cupped Russia's cheek, "I know. You've always been so supportive and encouraging and I can't thank you enough for that."
Russia held the hand on his face, "I would do anything for you. You're so incredibly important to me."
America blushed and leaned in for a kiss before Russia stopped him by gently placing a finger on his lips, making America's eyes flutter open.
"Sunglasses?"
America rolled his eyes with a smirk and took off his glasses, looking at the ground.
"You're such a dork."
Russia chuckled and opened his mouth to retort before America looked up at him.
And he was left speechless.
"A-america?"
America raised an eyebrow.
"Yea?"
"Your eyes..."
"What about 'em?"
"They're white."