Chapter 33:
Aaron laughed.
He leant his head back against the wall and laughed; it was short and forced, coming in low, dry bursts from his throat. As if his brain closed on itself after all that happened, and it refused to comprehend any further information properly-a part of what Leo had said made it past those barriers and almost set him in panic mode, but Aaron didn't want to register it. He felt drunk.
"Good one, Leo. You made me laugh even though I'm not in the mood at all." Aaron patted Leo's knee. "That's what brothers are for."
Leo looked at him, blinking multiple times unsurely. "Aar? That wasn't a joke."
"Yes it was a joke, Leo, okay? I've been through enough shit today. One more thing and I'm probably going to throw myself down the window."
"But it wasn't a joke. I'm serious."
"You're serious? You know that you're fifteen?"
Leo nodded, sighing. "Yes, Aar. I told you I know."
Aaron looked away, sighing. His eyes found the ceiling, then they dropped down to the ground and he pursed his lips. He thought of what Leo'd said again but not a thing in him changed. He didn't know what to think, how to react to the fact that Leo wouldn't joke about something so serious right midst the worst point they'd come to in the situation.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Aaron moved, pushing himself up to his feet.
Leo grasped Aaron's arm, stopping him. "Aar? Where are you going?"
Aaron shrugged nonchalantly. "I just want to go throw myself out of the window."
"You can't, Aar. It has bars."
"Well then let me just bang my head into them because I can't handle anymore shit."
"Sit," Leo said as he forced Aaron back down. "Please."
Aaron sighed again; closed his eyes as he tried to compose himself and not let the sudden confrontation bring out all his anger over Leo's head-he could feel it swarming in his chest, yet awaiting to burst out among his words. But he controlled himself, because he knew all the sudden anger was an outcome of everything, not only this. "Leo, please tell me why in the world you'd lie to me like that? What was the point?"
"I never lied to you," Leo mumbled. "I never told you that I'm not fifteen. You can't say I lied. I just didn't exactly tell you. Because I thought it wasn't important."
"You thought it wasn't important?" Aaron stared at Leo with disbelieving incredulity arching his brows. He almost couldn't believe how chill Leo appeared in comparison to the confrontation he'd just dropped. "Leo, don't let me lose my mind. How is it not important? I agree you never lied about your age. You just didn't mention it. Alright. But what about everything else? That makes everything you did, everything you said a lie. Fake."
"Wait, wait." Leo held his hand out, confused. "How does that make everything a lie, Aar?"
"You just said that you know you're fifteen, Leo. That means you know you're not a baby, and that means you're not brainwashed like I thought!" Aaron's heart was pricked with something: sadness at the thought that innocent little Leo was just a lie, an act-or whatever it had been. A part of him expected that now after Leo had said it himself, innocence in his face and the guileless child-like looks would disintegrate into nothing just like the act he'd apparently put up had. But it didn't happen. He still had the look of purity; his innocence was still there.
Aaron continued, "It means that you know the sun isn't a lamp and nobody turns it off at night. And that cats don't get married like people. I mean, what was the point? Did you have to make them all up? And you know how to read and write? You were lying all the time? I actually believed you couldn't write well. I was trying to teach you how to write my name properly, did you already know or what-"
"Aar! Stop!" Leo shouted, his brows drawing closer to each other as well. He looked like he'd been accused of total lies and he was sick of it, and it started confusing Aaron. He'd just admitted it himself, and what Aaron had absently rambled was merely the first thing that sprang to his mind when he thought of the fact that Leo had been aware all this time. "Stop talking and let me explain!"
Aaron's tense shoulders sagged. He knew that he should've allowed Leo to explain himself before he'd start flooding him with accusations. It was just that he lost a part of his brain after all the ordeal: the stress, escaping, getting caught, his breakdown-they were all too much to handle and now what Leo had dropped on him made it all worse.
So Aaron sighed, his heart sinking when he saw the amount of pain in Leo's eyes; the anger melted down to sadness. "I'm sorry, Leo. I'm sorry. I know, I messed up. I talked too early. Tell me whatever you want."
"Sorry I yelled at you too." Leo's eyes dragged reluctantly across the floor before connecting again with Aaron's. "All of those things are real. That's really what I think. I really think the sun is a lamp. I really imagine cats getting married like people. And I really don't know how to read and write well."
"But what you said.. I thought all of these things were just because you were brainwashed. If you're aware, if you know you're fifteen, why-"
"I never went to school, Aar."
Aaron's eyes widened. Every muscle in him froze for a moment. His lips moved, parting slowly then closing again, his tongue knotting around itself tightly and keeping him at a sudden word loss.
He twisted his torso toward Leo for a proper look. "You... how did that..." Aaron's eyes fell to the ground and his mind wandered far. "Why didn't you go to school?"
"I don't know. My real dad didn't want me to go." Leo skillfully avoided eye contact; he remained looking down, not once glancing at Aaron. "My entire life, I lived in a basement. Dad never let me go out. I was always stuck in there. The most I've been out was to the backyard."
Aaron stared. He couldn't even form words, and he could almost not comprehend what he'd heard-the thought of Leo stuck in a basement all his life came like a nasty punch right through the heart. It almost felt unreal.
"I barely saw people in my life. Dad, a woman, and some men? They work with dad I think. I don't remember well. But they all always looked scared. And money, he gave them money. But I didn't understand why, Aar."
So they wouldn't go around telling he had a child locked in his basement, Aaron thought.
"When I first got here, I was so shocked and confused and scared. I wasn't used to seeing new people. And I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know what a pull-up was. I never saw this thing before I came. Same with the crib, and the highchair and the paci. All these things, I didn't know what they were. I didn't understand what was happening, Aar. I didn't know if it was wrong or what, I just knew that it was all weird for me."
"You didn't know they were treating like a baby," Aaron parroted under his breath. The realization hit him, and things started making sense. "You didn't know what was happening."
"Yeah. My first days were like hell for all of them. I kicked everyone in the face. I screamed and shouted and said a lot of bad words. A lot. In my first bath, I threw shampoo in Daddy's eyes and Lou had to come and hold me down, and I kept moving away. When you first came you were so calm, but I wasn't, Aar. I got all kinds of punishments in two days. It's all because I didn't understand what was happening, Aar. I didn't understand why they were doing that to me."
Aaron could imagine the chaos; Leo had been so oblivious, so lost and so confused. When Aaron first came, he'd known what was going on, but for Leo, it had been all foreign. The horror must've been unreal. "Wait, why did you warn me before my first bath? What happened to you when you did that to him?"
"They gave me something to drink, and it tasted horrible. Horrible. I mean it. I threw up like four times after it. And the taste stayed in my mouth for the entire day. I don't think you'll understand how horrible it was. Didn't want it to happen to you too."
"Oh. Thank you." Aaron just smiled halfheartedly. "Anyway. You were saying."
Leo finally looked at Aaron again, and his eyes were glistening. "I thought they wanted to hurt me like dad. But they never did, Aar. It took so long, but I finally started to calm down around them. Mommy started teaching me how to write. And Lou how to read. I knew just a little; the woman back at home usually talked to me and tried to teach me as much as she could, but I didn't learn a lot. Here, they actually taught me how to write my name, and I was so happy when I did it, Aar. I was so proud the first time I wrote my name by myself."
The edge of Leo's lip twitched in a sad smile. The memories flashed in his eyes, and they sparked. "You know why I was so happy? Because I felt like I wasn't illiterate-dad kept calling me that. I hated it. I hated that I couldn't read and write. He used to make fun of me. I couldn't even hold a pencil. My hand used to shake, Aar. It used to shake. But now I know how to write all the letters, Aar. And I can read a little more. But not hard words."
Aaron's heart shattered; Leo loved the captors because he thought they were helping him. They taught him how to read and write better. But he didn't know that they were depriving him from further knowledge; Leo could learn a lot more than reading easy words and just writing letters. If they'd let him go to the real world, he'd be capable of doing so much more. But he wasn't aware of that because he didn't even know this real world.
"And Daddy started teaching me about the things around me. What the sun is called, types of trees and flowers. I asked him what the sun is, and why it shines like that. And I asked him why it goes away at night. But he told me I won't understand. So I started creating my own explanations, and I did that every time he couldn't answer my questions."
Leo sighed, the weight of the sorrow and shame in the breath he let out making it sink. "Everything I told you, they were all true. I really don't know anything. I'm fifteen, I know I'm fifteen, but everything I told you is all I know. I hate that I'm not smart like you, Aar. It... it hurts. Dad said I'll always be an idiot."
"Leo, no. You're not an idiot. It's not your fault you dad locked you in a basement, and it's not your fault these three have you locked now here."
"But they helped me, Aar. They taught me. I will always love them."
"Leo... you think they helped you because you don't know the real world yet. You don't know how much they're depriving you from. It's..." Aaron trailed off, voice a whisper. He knew Leo wouldn't understand, there was no point explaining to him when he was far too deep in his trust for them. "It all makes sense now. I always thought you were either brainwashed or everything was just an act. But it turned out neither. Neither of them is your problem."
Aaron focused on the floor, letting everything Leo had said settle properly in his brain before he'd establish the conclusion he'd come to. And the more it lasted swirling in his head, the more confident he became; now he understood what Leo's problem was, and it was like a strong itch finally being scratched.
Leo just looked at Aaron emptily. He didn't seem like he'd understood exactly what Aaron meant.
"Leo, I don't think you understand how better this is. You're not brainwashed to think you're a child. You just don't know better than one. Your mentality is fine. Your brain is fine. You're just oblivious. You just need to get out into the world and learn. Understand things. You just genuinely don't know what these people are doing to you. You don't understand what's happening. But trust me, if you just could understand what's happening, you'd want to go out like me."
Aaron leant back against the wall again. He didn't blame Leo for not fighting against the captors anymore. Unlike Aaron, Leo had nothing to hang onto back at his home; all he lived for was constant abuse and confinement. Aaron hadn't been limited to walls all his life. He knew that as cruel as life had been for him, as horrible as living with his father was, there were other things he wanted to go back for.
But Leo had nothing, not even the knowledge to understand that this treatment was wrong to force on a teenager.
They stayed silent for a moment, but then something tickled Aaron's brain. "Leo?"
"Yeah?"
"How long have you been here? With them?"
"Two years."
"Shit," Aaron said. A part of him stopped functioning as the shock hit him, but then he realized that it was natural to have been that long for him-Leo clearly was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, and Aaron didn't really blame him for surrendering to it. The captors appeared for him as heroes who brought him out of the dark pits of misery and confinement, only to bring him to another type that he didn't even realize was almost similar to his life with his father. All Leo could see was that they weren't abusing him and had helped him learn a little more.
"Aar?" Leo turned to Aaron, blue eyes were wide and worried. Aaron noticed him scuffing the rug beneath him with his toe, his fingers fiddling together nervously. "Do you hate me now?"
Aaron laughed. "No. Of course I don't. How can I hate my brother?" He smiled at him, then his mind drifted again.
Aaron had so many questions he wanted answers for, but the entire situation scattered any possible coherent statements he had in his brain. Slowly, he willed the mess in his head to calm. He asked, "When we were running, did you know we were escaping? Or did you actually think it's about a treasure?"
"I really thought we were finding a treasure at first, Aar. I don't lie to you. But then I started doubting, and I told you, remember?"
And Aaron did remember; they'd been running when Leo had suddenly doubted the ordeal was about a treasure anymore-Leo had asked him that with his own tongue, and it must've been the point where he'd begun to feel the entire chase wasn't just about a treasure. "Why did you keep going with me if you weren't sure if it was about the treasure anymore?"
"Because I trust you, Aar. I trust you a lot more than you think."
Aaron smiled again, and it was at that moment he realized that the only good thing about the entire situation was that he met Leo.
But the smile dropped when he also realized that the possibility of escape dwindled to none-existence at that point; he was sure that after all what had happened, the captors would lock him in rooms and keep their hawk eyes trained on him all the time. There was no way he'd be able to escape again, and it meant Leo would never be able to receive proper therapy and live his life as an actual fifteen-year-old.
They were both stuck here.
Forever.
The thought almost made Aaron scream.
Both boys were distracted when the door gently inched open, and every pint of ease in Aaron at the captors' absence crumpled down immediately. He tensed, straightening in his spot and narrowing his eyes as they flooded in. All of them, like one psycho at a time wasn't enough.
Lou took the time to quickly clean the mess in the corner of room-the shattered vase still lay in pieces there, tragic reminder of all what had happened just a little before.
"Come on, boys. I know you've had a long day. Let's go to sleep," Daddy said. He was trying a calm approach. Every part of him knew Aaron wasn't about to make it easy, that he was going to fight and refuse. And he knew, when Aaron just laughed bitterly, that he wasn't wrong and that dealing with him was indeed going to be difficult. "Aaron, I know you're tired. You'll feel better."
"There's no way I'm sleeping in that crib anymore," Aaron said, his lips pulling back in a defensive snarl. "I'm not moving from here."
"Aaron." The warning in Daddy's voice was distinct. He grasped Aaron's arm. "You're tired. You have to sleep."
Aaron's eyes lingered on Daddy's hand on his arm for a little, then swept back to the captor's face, leering and harsh. "Leave my arm."
Lou had just returned after he'd gathered the broken pieces and went to throw them. The first thing he saw was how Daddy had taken hold of Aaron's arm tightly, his strong fingers sunken deep into the fabric of the sweater. Something in him snapped, and then he was marching over before he knew it, yanking Aaron's frail arm out of Daddy's grip and glaring at him for a while.
He leant towards Daddy's ear. "Be gentle. At least be gentle with him. We've hurt him enough, don't you think?"
Daddy snorted quietly. "Hurt him enough?"
"Yeah," Lou whispered back. "We need to talk. There's a lot a we need to talk about when the boys settle down."
"Great. Sounds to me like you're going to throw on me another load of your bullshit."
Lou ignored him, and turned to Aaron. "You can sleep here if you want."
"Lou?" Mommy interfered, slowly stepping closer. "He has his crib. He can sleep there."
"Well, I don't want to sleep in it!"
Mommy and Daddy turned to Aaron again when they heard him shout, and as angry as it sounded, they found it partly adorable. Even as he stood there, furious, every muscle in him tense, they almost couldn't go past the fact that his face was as harmless as a little angry kitten, every sharp word he said like a wolf pup howling frantically for the first time.
But Lou saw a little past the innocent face. He detected the anger burning behind Aaron's eyes, and it worried him.
Lou opened his mouth, but Daddy interjected instead: "Alright. Sleep here, if you want, Aaron. Leo, come, let's go."
Leo didn't move to him. "Can I stay with Aar?"
"You can," Mommy decided, smiling softly at him. She received a questioning look from Daddy. So she gestured him closer, leaning to his ear. "They're brothers. Let them. They'll feel better if they stay together. Especially Aaron right now. Don't fight him. Let's leave them alone for a little."
The captors wished the boys sweet dreams then left the room, this time locking the door behind.
Aaron heard it clearly, there were two clicks, and he knew they were going to tighten their restraints from now on. Leo climbed onto one bed and sprawled himself comfortably onto the mattress, his eyes immediately fluttering closed the moment he rested his head onto the pillow.
Aaron couldn't believe how Leo could sleep so easily after everything; he felt like he wouldn't be able to sleep for weeks, even though he really wanted to. Sleeping felt so convenient at the moment, like the only way he'd bring himself out of the situation, but he knew, as the sirens in his head blared and the thoughts screamed, that it was near to impossible.
Aaron instead wandered to the window, seating himself on the sill. He leant his head against the glass pane. It was cool, and it numbed his head until the constant pounding stopped torturing him. For a second, he didn't feel anything, couldn't feel anything-he felt distant, like he'd detached himself from the situation even though he was sitting right through it, in the middle of it.
That blissful moment of peace vanished, and suddenly all the happenings passed in a rapid blur though his brain; of all, the fact that Leo knew he was fifteen took up most of his thoughts. It pained his heart so harshly to think of what he'd been through.
He'd been stuck in basement all his life.
Then stuck here.
The boy never had the chance to go out and learn. Just like a child, oblivious, curious. A fifteen-year-old who didn't know half as much as a fifteen-year-old should. Aaron's chest tightened.
"Aar?"
Aaron snapped out of his bubble, whipping his head back to find the subject of his thoughts looking at him. He shook his head. "What is it?"
"Remember when I called myself bad?"
The first thing that sprang to Aaron's mind were the messy scars on the back of his arm and shoulder: BAD. "Yeah. But let's not bring that up again. Please just sleep and forget about it."
"Do you know why I'm bad, Aar?"
Aaron knew that talking about it might help with Leo's trauma, but he also didn't want to trigger anything again. He wasn't ready for another breakdown, and his ears couldn't handle sobbing at the moment. "Leo, there's no reason because you're not bad. Please-"
"I killed my real mom, Aar. That's why I'm bad."
The words were so unexpected that they caught Aaron off guard. He gaped at Leo, completely dumbfounded.
For a second, Aaron questioned his ears, questioned the precision of his hearing. He replayed Leo's words in his mind, hoping he'd realize he'd mistaken. But he hadn't. He'd heard them right. Then, as the confusion settled down and the disbelief drowned him, his balance scattered and he fell off the window sill, tumbling down to his knees. He grunted then quickly pulled himself to his feet and shuffled over to Leo, settling on the edge of his bed.
"Leo... what the actual f-" Aaron's instinct stopped him from saying a heavy word in front of Leo, almost like he was still programmed to believe Leo was a child. He stayed silent for a moment, choosing to think calmly instead. And as he thought of it again, he realized that it was near to impossible. There definitely was a misunderstanding. "How did that happen? I'm sure it was an accident."
"No, Aar. Dad said it wasn't an accident. He said I really killed her. And I also tortured her, I tortured her before I killed her! But I don't remember, I just don't remember."
"Your dad said? You tortured her? And you don't remember? How the hell wouldn't you remember something like that? There's something clearly wrong."
"I don't remember when I did it, Aar. Dad told me I was young when it happened, and he said something about memory loss. I didn't understand what he meant, I didn't understand why I couldn't remember it. He told me it's a good thing I can't remember, because what I did to her was horrible! He said mom was screaming for me to stop torturing her, but I wasn't stopping! Why, Aar? Why didn't I stop? I don't know why I did it! I didn't want to kill my mom. I wish I didn't."
Leo's eyes glossed over. Tears swished in crystal shines on his lower lids, wetting his lashes. The regrets were woven through his sorrowful looks, and the guilt looked like it had nipped at every inch of his skin for so long but so silently; Aaron hadn't noticed, but it was guilt that drowned Leo after every time bad was brought up. The scars reminded him of a crime he'd apparently committed to his own mom, yet Aaron was sure that it had been an accident-the entire ordeal about Leo torturing his own mother before killing her wasn't settling in his brain. He couldn't imagine Leo being so sadistic. It couldn't be true. Either an accident, childbirth death, or a lie from Leo's father.
Leo closed his eyes tightly, turning away and trying to hide his face in the warmth of the pillow as the guilt consumed every part of his being again. He hated every time he'd try to remember how and why he'd done something so horrible but he'd never get to it. It felt like he was racking his brain for the slightest recollection but he just could never find it. And sometimes, he'd feel so devastated he'd decide it really was better that he couldn't remember-Leo didn't want to remember the crime he committed; he was afraid remembering it would confirm that he'd done it.
Aaron sat there silently. He didn't know what to do, or how to comfort him. He could only imagine how horrible it was for Leo-the boy had lived his life with the guilt of a crime he couldn't remember committing haunting him; with the chants of a father constantly blaming him for it yet he just couldn't understand why he'd done it himself. The conflict must've been a chaos for him.
"Leo, look at me." Aaron forced Leo's face away from the pillow. "Stop thinking about it, it was an accident. I'm sure. You can't blame yourself if you don't even remember. What if your dad was lying? What if he killed her and he was blaming it on you?"
"But Dad loved her, Aar. That's why he hurt me. Because he said he used to love her so much and I killed her. He said I killed the love of his life, and he said he was never going to forgive me for it. He used to hug a picture of her and cry for hours, Aar!" Leo's voice didn't just crack. It broke. It shattered. When he spoke again, his words were whispers, raspy and barely even audible. "That's why he wrote BAD on me with a knife, Aar. He said I should always remember how bad I am, and- and..."
A strangled cry ripped Leo's throat apart, but he never let it out. All Aaron heard was the remnant of a sad whimper. "I just wish I didn't kill her, Aar! I wish I didn't." The salty drops of water that slowly traced down his pale cheeks were heavy with the weight of the guilt that his eyes had sheltered deep within all the time. "The guilt is horrible. It's so horrible!"
And then Leo cried. But it wasn't loud and there was no sobbing-he just cried silently into the pillow. Aaron looked at him, and as he saw the pain he was holding onto all this time, he just wanted to strangle his father for everything he'd done.
No one had the right to mess with Leo like that.
Aaron sank down into the space between the two beds, leaning his head against the edge of Leo's. He hated that he didn't know how to comfort him, but then his thought was cut off when fingers caught his hair, absently twirling and feeling them around.
Aaron looked up through his lashes, and he found Leo watching his hair, his teary blue eyes focused on each black strand stroking against his skin and falling through the gaps between his fingers. Just like a child, he liked to explore things around him, touch things when they caught his attention.
Aaron didn't move from his spot. He let Leo feel his hair as much as he wanted. He wanted him to calm down.
And Leo played with Aaron's hair until he fell asleep, the tears of guilt dried, crusty trails along his cheeks.
Aaron had barely even moved away when the door opened, and the captors carefully peeked in. He gave them a disgusted look, and as they approached he almost wanted to tell them to stay away from his little brother-they were hurting him almost as much as his father had done. They taught him how to read and write, sure, but that did not make them heroes. In the two years he'd sat stuck here with them, he could've been attending therapy sessions or at least worked towards recovery from all the trauma.
Daddy and Mommy crouched down on the other side of Leo's bed, watching him. Lou stood, doing nothing, saying nothing; something looked like it was brewing in his mind. He seemed focused.
"Did you know he thinks he killed his mom?" Aaron asked, voice bitter, angry-he made it clear through the edge that he didn't fancy talking to them anymore, that he just wanted to know about Leo.
Daddy raised his eyebrows in surprise. "He told you?"
"Yeah."
"Leo actually never told us. We just figured it out from everything he mumbles after he wakes up from a nightmare." Daddy looked at Mommy, and they chuckled quietly. "Looks like our son trusts his big brother more than us."
Mommy looked back at Leo sadly. "You saw his BAD scars, didn't you? They're actually not the only ones. He has another BAD on his foot, and one on his leg. But they're all so messy we barely even noticed them." There was a pause, almost like she was about to cry. "And there's also this on his stomach. Look."
She gripped the hem of his sweater and raised it up until his bare stomach was revealed. Aaron thought she was going to point at his horrible scar; the one almost on his waist, but instead she pointed down to another messy group of scars gathered in a horizontal line a little above the waistband of his sweatpants.
Aaron leant forwards, his eyes carefully assessing the scars and trying to make out what they were. "Wait, these don't look like a word..." He trailed off, until the realization hit him hard. "That's... that's a date."
5/10/2002
The date was just casually written on him; scrawled into his skin. Beside it was a rectangle of scars.
"What the hell?" Aaron stared at it, carefully taking in the numbers. "That's just... absurd. And creepy."
He observed a little longer, contemplating why that date in specific would be on him, until it hit him. "Wait... now is 2018, that's fifteen years back. This can't be coincidence. It must be his birthday. So childbirth accident? Or maybe his mom died coincidentally on the day he was born. And the rectangle-"
"We can't be a hundred percent sure. Only God knows what used to happen in that basement."
"His dad was clearly having the time of his life drawing on his skin. First BAD then this. And making him believe he killed his mom. I can't believe his dad would make him live all his life with guilt over something he can't even remember."
Aaron's heart sank deep. He didn't even want to imagine what Leo felt when his father was causally cutting into his skin dates and words. Harsh screams and pleas for mercy shot deep in his ears, echoed through their outer crevices and settled heavily in the inner drums. Aaron's throat tightened as the thought lingered in his mind-Leo had been all alone, stuck, with no one to help him, no place to hide in. It hurt to think that he'd been through all that at one point.
"I don't get this..." Aaron's eyes suddenly flared with raging fires. "Is this like a coincidence? We both have such messed up dads? Who else?"
Mommy raised her hands, singling herself out. "Not all are bad like yours. I had a great dad. God bless him."
Daddy and Lou gave each other a knowing look and laughed; such a bitter little noise that it sounded closer to low snort. Aaron watched them-he could tell they understood each other merely from one look, both almost conversing through their eyes.
"Let's not wake Leo up now," Lou said. He caught Aaron sighing sadly from the corner of his eyes; he looked tired and drained, and it hurt to seem so exhausted. His eyes were dull-the metallic color seemed lifeless. And the way he sank there tiredly in the space between the beds, leaning against Leo's as he watched his little brother with a heavy heart-it all made Lou want to comfort him in a way. He reached his hand to his hair, almost like an instinct. He'd grown used to ruffling Aaron's hair. It was just a thing with his nephew.
But Aaron wasn't having it this time. He straightened from the tired slouch, quickly moving away from his hand. "How many times should I tell you don't touch me?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. As you like." Lou smiled sadly, then looked at the other two captors. "Let's leave the boys. Let them rest."
The captors nodded then they all quietly filtered out, locking the door behind.
Aaron pulled himself to stand and ambled slowly back to the window. He felt like the world was swaying around him although his feet were planted steadily against the ground. There was something heavy settled in his chest, weights attached to each rib, pain on his heart. And as he settled on the sill again, leaning his head against the pane, he wondered if there was any chance he'd ever get out again. He wondered if he still had the energy to plan something else.
The longer he sat there staring out, the more the devastation settled, sinking into the crevices of his bones and joints, wrapping around his throat like a noose that slowly suffocated him-he stayed still, even though his lungs were straining like they'd been filled with water, even though his soul was screaming like saws and axes were slicing into it.
But then-then the tiniest fragment of emptiness crept in. It lodged itself between the grief and somehow managed to lessen the pain. Aaron found it a soothing balm midst the engulfing despair, so he hung onto it and willed it to rid him of everything he was feeling.
And as the sense of emptiness expanded, he slowly felt himself detach from the situation again, but before it could consume him whole, he interrupted the process and fell asleep. Eveything in him stopped as he fell for an unintentional sleep.
Aaron didn't know how later it had been, but when he woke up he found himself curled on the bed with the quilt draped over him. The first thing he remembered was that he'd definitely fallen asleep on the sill, and so he realized the captors carried him to the bed-the thought set the ends of nerves on fire. He'd had enough of them touching him and carrying him around like he was their toy. He roughly kicked the quilt away, quickly pulling himself forward until he was sitting with his back straight.
His first instinct was to curse himself for sleeping then curse the captors, but then he realized Leo was awake, slouched lazily against the headboard of his bed, eyes rooted to his hand as it mindlessly traced around the horrible scar on his stomach. He'd pulled up the sweater just enough to reveal it, and Aaron watched it warily as well.
"Leo? What are you doing?" Aaron scooted to the edge of his bed immediately, alarmed by how distant Leo look; almost disconnected. "Hey, Leo. Look at me."
Leo finally looked at him, but there were no tears in his eyes. Aaron found it worrying how he seemed so indifferent about the scar in comparison to the time back in the pool-back then, he'd looked like he just wanted to forget or he knew he'd burst out crying. But now he looked so oddly numb.
"Do you know how I got this scar, Aar?"
Aaron shook his head cautiously. "No. And I don't want to. Please, stop doing this to yourself and sleep."
"Dad called it a special scar. He said it's just for bad people like me."
*_*_*_*_*_*
Thoughts on Leo's backstory?
EDIT: I changed the time setting of the book to 2018, the year i actually wrote it in. Previously i randomly set the book in 2015 but too many people were thinking that's when i wrote it, so ye i changed it. Bc of this leo's birth year became 2002.
Tysm for reading/voting/commenting <33