Cara James
I put my keys on the table as always and took my shoes off, leaving them by the door watching as Harry took his off too. I looked on as he put his own keys next to mine and couldn't help but think that if we had worked out we could have been living like this. Our keys laying side by side along with our shoes together.
I quickly rid myself of those thoughts and made my way through to the living room and sighed and motioned for him to take a seat.
"Would you like something to drink?" I asked quietly as he sat down on the sofa, he looked up at me and sat up a little.
"Um, sure. What do you have?" He said and I thought and realised I have no idea. I moved through to the kitchen and looked through the cupboards and the fridge. I don't have much of anything actually.
"I have beer, white wine, vodka, tequila, water, milk or orange juice!" I called through to the living room.
"Beer is great thanks." He said from right behind me, causing me to jump and turn around.
"You gave me the fright of my life..." I said with my hand on my chest, feeling my heart ready to beat right out of my chest. He let out a small laugh and I couldn't help but admire how his eyes crinkled and his dimple popped out.
Still as beautiful as ever.
I turned around and got a beer out of the fridge for him, popping the cap of and handing it to him, making sure our hands didn't touch at all. I know if he touches me again I would melt in his arms and I don't want to get hurt again.
He said a small thank you and I moved around him to get a glass out and the bottle of vodka I keep for emergencies like these. I poured the vodka into the glass only leaving enough room for some ice cubes I quickly got out of the freezer and into my glass.
I bring the glass to my lips and quickly drink half of the straight vodka and let out a small sigh oh relief already feeling some of the nerves I have about the situation I have found myself in slip away.
"Your apartment is..."
"It's not much but I like it." I said quickly not wanting him to make a comment about how small it is. He smiled and shook his head bringing his beer bottle to his lips.
"If you let me finish, I was going to say it's so perfectly you." He said and I raised my eyebrows at him, crossing my arms over my chest but no longer in the way I would to hold myself together. This time it was in the manner of the sassy, vodka drinking queen.
"And what would you know what perfectly me looked like?" I replied. He let out the most gorgeous sound that I missed more than anything, he laughed.
"Okay, I deserved that one. You've certainly found a sadly little attitude in the past year." He said with a smirk as he leaned back against the counter making me raise my eyebrows at him, seriously if I raise them any further they will be on the wall.
"That's what happens when you lose your best friend, get fucked over by the man you loved and thought loved you and had absolutely nobody to fight your corner. You learn to do it yourself." I said in a matter of fact tone as I passed him and went back into the living room with my glass in hand.
"I did love you..." he said as he followed me through like a lost puppy, this time it was my turn to laugh. I sat on the sofa and rolled my eyes.
"Yeah you loved me, sure, that's believable." I said with a smirk as I leaned my head back and stared at the ceiling. I felt the couch dip beside me and closed my eyes as I felt his leg touch mine, that's just how close we were sitting.
"I really did Cara." He said quietly and I looked to him, my smile now gone.
"Then why Harry? Why did you do it? If you loved me then you wouldn't have been ready to throw it away just because you would be tempted into cheating." I said and he looked down to his beer bottle and stuttered to try and think of a reply but nothing came, his mouth fell shut and that was it.
"I went to your house that night, you knew I wanted to try and repair things with Kat. Why did you get her to go to the bar when you knew that?" I asked quietly.
"I guess...I guess I did it to spite you." He said with a sigh and I but down on my lip and nodded my head slightly, looking away from him now, it hurts too much. This is all too much.
"T-that's not love." I whispered before sitting up and quickly finishing off my glass. I stood from the sofa, a little wobbly on my feet causing Harry to stand quickly and hold onto my waist to keep me steady but I quickly back away from him.
"Please don't touch me...". I whispered as I brought my shaky hands up to my face and covered it, the tears were coming and I know it, he knows it too.
"I think you should go Harry. I can't do this. It's too much." I pleaded as the tears lined my lower lashes.
"I'm not leaving you like this Cara. I don't care if I have to sleep in the hall outside your door." He said quietly as he pulled my hands away from my face gently, I kept my eyes closed hoping it would stop the tears but i knew it didn't when I felt a line tear trickle down my cheek.
I felt his arms wrap around me and next thing I knew I was being pulled into his chest, I tried to pull myself away and push him away but it wasn't working.
I can't do this.
Harry Styles
She tries to push me away but maybe if I just hold on she will let me be there for her the way I should have been there this past year. I kept my arms around her while she began to hit my chest but the force she put into it wasn't enough to do anything, I know she is just frustrated.
I understand how she sees everything that happened between us, I understand that it looks like I used her but I really didn't. I genuinely don't believe king distance works, especially in college.
I really did love her.
Do love her.
Soon enough, she calmed down and let me hold her, her small hands gripping onto my jumper for dear life as the most heartbreaking, gut wrenching sob left her body. As if everything that has happened to her in her entire life just caught up.
I wonder where her parents are?
Why aren't they with her?
Not that I'm complaining, they aren't here to be with her but I am. I have the chance to make everything right again and it's a chance I never thought I'd get. I kept one hand on her back and moved one up to her hair, tangling my fingers in it as I quietly shushed her. I move is back and sit on the sofa with her on top of me, leaving absolutely no space between us.
God I've missed her. Her scent, her eyes, how soft her hair is, how soft and unblemished her skin is, how she puts everyone first no matter what.
She is perfection.
And I'm an asshole for letting her go.
I have no idea what time it is but we must have sat here, her crying into my neck for the past hour before the tears seemed to stop and her breaths shallowed out.
She's cried herself to sleep.
I carefully stood from the sofa with her in my arms and carried her into the hallway, after finding her bedroom out of the two rooms I haven't been in I laid her down gently on her bed. I stood tall and looked around, contemplating before going over to the set of drawers and hunting for a pair of cotton shorts. I found a pair of red ones that had two little white stripes going down the side and moved over to her.
She will probably kill me for this but she won't be comfortable sleeping in jeans.
I carefully unbutton and unzip her jeans, pulling them down her legs and over her feet, sitting them beside her on the bed for now. I carefully put each of her feet in the shorts and gently pulled them up her legs and with a little bit of struggle managed to get them on properly. I stood back and folded her jeans setting them on top of her dresser and covered her with a blanket, placing a soft kiss on her head. I quickly got a glass of water and raked through her bathroom cabinet to get a couple of pain killers and placed them both on the beside table before closing the door quietly behind me as I made my way out to the sofa.
I just want her to be okay.
~~~
I heard movement in her room half an hour ago but she hasn't came out, I stayed here, on the sofa. I knew she wouldn't be comfortable with me in bed with her and let's be honest she will already kill me for taking her jeans off so I decided not to push my luck.
I looked at my phone to see it's 9:48 and decided to go make two cups of coffee, making sure to make it just how she used to take it and hoping to god she still does. I lifted the two cups carefully, not wanting to spill any and made my way to her bedroom.
"Cara?" I asked yet received radio silence on her end. I sighed quietly and sat the cups of coffee on the floor before sitting myself down on the floor.
Where are her parents? And her brother? Why is she here dealing with this herself? Was it her choice to deal with it alone? From what I know from the time I spent with her she isn't a huge fan of being alone in general never mind when something tragic like this happens.
"I thought you would have went home by now." Her soft voice said from above me making my attention immediately snap to her, she looked freshly showered but her eyes were still kind of puffy.
"I told you, I don't think you should be alone..." I said as I stood up and handed her one of the coffees I made. She looked at it for a minute before taking it and bringing the cup to her lips.
"Where did you...Um- we didn't sleep in the same bed right?" She asked quietly, not taking her eyes off the mug in her hands.
"No...I stayed on the sofa.." I said softly, she's so quiet and timid. She's changed so much but at the same time she hasn't changed at all.
"I didn't fall asleep wearing shorts." She said as she finally lifted her eyes to me and I shook my head a little.
"Jeans aren't comfortable to sleep in, I wanted you to be comfy." I said, bracing myself for her yelling at me.
"Umm...thanks...I guess."
Okay then, maybe there won't be any yelling.
"How do you feel?" I asked, I know she's going to tell me she's fine as if I don't know how to read her.
"I'm fine, you can go home if you like. I don't need a babysitter." She said and I couldn't help but smile at her sassy tone.
"I'm not going anywhere and I'm also not here to babysit you, I'm here to be a friend and be there for you." I told her and watched as she raised her eyebrows at me, her hip popping out a little as she placed her hand on it.
"That's what we are now? Friends?"
"For now."
"What do you mean for now? For now as in until you leave again?" She asked quietly and an aura of sadness took offer her entire being.
"No. Until I can show you I still love you and I'm 100% in."