- notice: this chapter was edited regarding some typos and grammar, the plot is still the same. -
❝𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮, 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙏𝙑, 𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙣𝙚𝙬𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙮, 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙❞
♬⚘♬⚘♬
(I actually deleted this book but imma revive it.)
The blonde woke up to the sound of his obnoxious alarm echoing through the room. He gets up sluggishly and enters the bathroom to wash his face and get ready for the day. He enter the shower stall, plainly staring at the cuts from yesterday. He turns on the water changing it to a really cool temperature to feel less pain from the stinging cuts. As the water hit his skin the blonde could feel the stinging sensation from the cuts on his wrists and thighs, he simply just sighs and continues his daily morning routine. The rapper grabbed a white sweater and a pair of black ripped jeans and headed to the dining table.
『bold and italics mean it's only in his head.』
"Don't eat you fatass."
"You're already fat enough..."
"You're supposed to loose weight."
The voice in Jisungs head were surprisingly calming and welcoming, as if it were the kindest voice he's ever heard. The voices repeated in the poor boy's head over and over again, and again he lost his appetite.
"Morning Jisung" Chan greeted him with his signature dimple smile.
"Morning Hyung" He replied with the best smile he could muster.
They all sat down on the dinner table with eggs, waffles and bacon in front of them. All of the members put some foods on their plates while Jisung's stood there completely empty.
"Jisung, aren't you eating breakfast?" Changbin asked while the other members drove their attention towards Jisung.
"I'm not hungry right now." The blonde shrugged.
"Really?" Hyunjin asked, unconvinced.
"yeah." He said, giving a reassuring smile.
"Are you sure? I don't recall seeing you eat anything last night." Hyunjin asked, worry underlining his voice.
"I ate a midnight snack yesterday so I'm not hungry." He lied to get out of the situation as soon as possible and the members did believe him anyway.
"Oh okay." Hyunjin said, his worry long gone.
Jisung excused himself from the table and went up to his room and went to check his phone. He squinted his eyes, his eyes were unable to adjust to the brightness of his own screen and once his eyes were fully adjusted, he was met with hurtful comments.
Chan fan: Jisung was so annoying in this episode my goodness.
Sunny 😎: Agreed, how do the members even handle him?
Jksq: ikr he isn't even funny. The members deserve better.
The blonde continued to torture his mind and kept reading.
"They're all true you know?"
The voice told him again. The boy simply agreed anyway, he was just an ugly annoying member who doesn't deserve the members. He just kept reading and reading with a serious look on the blonde's face, not showing any emotion at all.
"Time to go!"
He heard someone scream from the dining table. He got up, keeping the thoughts in his head not even bothered to tell anyone. He grabbed his backpack and mustered a small little smile on his face before meeting the members. He then went to the black minivan with Chan, Minho, and Changbin. The younger sat at the back and plugged in his earphones to block himself from the world, He went to Instagram just to check his feed and to be up to date to what the members have been posting in the group account. He saw selfies of Hyunjin, Jeongin, Minho and Seungmin which everyone adored, of course. He went to his old post from probably a year ago and checked the comments.
Hannies: When will he post again I miss his selfies🥺💞
Kpoop: Pfft, i don't his face is disgusting.
KOREA🇰🇷🇰🇷: Lmao yeah he isn't cute and he doesn't even fit Korean beauty standards at all.... i feel bad for the members.
He read and read the comments until the eight boys arrived, again the dull emotion on his face.
"You better not fail again."
"You're already falling behind."
The voices kept ringing in the poor boy's head again and again.
"JISUNG" They all screamed together.
"Huh, What? Sorry?" He said, snapping out of it.
"We called you so much times! Are you alright?" Felix asked, concern plastered on his voice and face.
"Yeah, just thought of something." The older answered, showing a reassuring smile that seemed to have fooled everyone.
"Dont be much of a disappointment."
They parted ways as danceracha entered the dance studio, vocalracha in the self practice rooms and 3racha in the studio. The three entered the studio first and sat down on the chairs. The blonde set his stuff down and grabbed his MacBook and began to write lyrics. At this point the blonde wasn't even thinking anymore his fingers just tapped on the keyboard as he wrote away. A few minutes later he looked back at the screen and read the lyrics he wrote. "Is it too much?" He thought. He looked at it again and grabbed his guitar and began humming and rapping the lyrics. He was pretty much content with what he wrote and showed it to both his hyungs who seemed to approve of it. He then left the room to go to the bathroom.
Whilst reading the lyrics, Chan seemed to notice that the lyrics portrayed a heavy emotion that is somehow worrying him. As the lyrics went deeper and deeper he noticed how sad? No, how depressing the lyrics were.
"Is it just me or did the lyrics seem to be off?" The leader asked with concern.
"Same, Since Jisung conveys how he feels in his lyrics a lot it might be a problem. But Jisung is a literal sunshine, it's kind of impossible ya know?" He stated, a serious look on his face.
"I agree but ya know, I'll keep an eye on him." He said before continuing onto my work.
The blonde entered the studio once again and saw that both of his hyungs seemed to have been working while he was gone.
"Hey Jisung, the lyrics are great. We can show them to the members tomorrow." Chan smiled.
"Oh okay. By the way it doesn't have to be tomorrow, I know we're preparing a different song tomorrow?" Jisung asked.
"Oh right! I almost forgot." Chan chuckled.
It was time for dance practice and the blonde dreaded this practice. The boys were going to practice "Back door" which is a very hard choreography, well at least for Jisung. He again forgot a move and stopped abruptly for a moment before continuing which wasn't unnoticed by Hyunjin.
"Yah, Han-ah! It's like this," Hyunjin said with clear frustration and annoyance in his tone.
Hyunjin showed the younger the move he missed and quickly made sure not to do it again.
"You really can't improve in anything, can you?"
"Such a disappointment."
"You fucked up, again."
The voice reminded him again. I snapped out of it once the male heard the music boom through the speakers, startling him a bit.
Wc: EDITED
Date: September 21, 2020
Advanced happy birthday Seungmin🎉🎂🥳💗
『 you fucked up, again. 』